Jilerel introduces himself as such.

Kaerli, if your question is something along the lines of, "why can't I relate to people?" Or "what is my relationship to society/the world/the rest of existence/God?" Then I'm afraid you won't find the answer on an internet gaming forum. My sincere advice is to find a trained, professional counselor to help you explore these questions. My recommendation is someone who works with Jungian depth analysis, archetypal theory, gestalt theory, existential theory, rogerian theory, or transpersonal  theory (my personal favorite). Or at least find someone you are comfortable with and who has your welfare in mind.

I'm being very sincere here, this is what I'm in grad school for. I'm in no way being snarky, or calling you crazy, or telling you that you need help. But I can see that you ARE asking for help, and the kind of help you are asking for can only be found in the living, breathing presence of another person, not on the Internet. All blessings to you.

I've drawn Ara before:


but sure, i'll do it again

Adios muchacho! And seriously, all blessings on your life path epic journey. Keep your eyes on what's important and listen to your heart. I'll always remember fondly that time you faked your death and I conducted your funeral.

I've been there too, you know, that point in life when you have to face yourself and make hard decisions. It's a mark of maturity.

My hope for you is that you are able to look back on the time spent exploring the mindscapes  and misadventures of imaginary peoples and not view it as a waste, but rather that you have gained something and grown from it. The Universe exists to learn from itself! Knowledge from experience is Wisdom, so here's to boosting your wisdom score.

Hey, my sun is in Aquarius, 'go with the flow' is written in my stars. The 'flow' in the special case of RP is the narrative. Creating conflict, drama, tension, challenges, dire consequences, all these drive the narrative. So it's a matter of feeling out the direction the story wants to go and going there intuitively. So if it makes more narrative sense for my character to lose a battle or suffer from heartbreak, then it becomes ok, even enjoyable for me to allow that to happen, instead of forcing a happy ending where it doesn't naturally belong.

Some submissiveness is vital to the health of society, but everything in balance, know when to assert yourself and know when to act passively. Any character trait taken to its extreme is unhealthy and unregulated. I imagine the kind of person who wears a different face depending on the crowd they're in, 'catering to everyone', is missing a fundamental authentic self-image. Know what you stand for and stand for it.

But that's RL, and likewise derailing the thread. this is a game and a gaming community, so there has to be give and take for everyone to enjoy the game. My point is that by taking your ego out of the experience and making your decisions based on something larger and more abstract, such as 'the community' or 'the narrative' could allow you the player to let your character to suffer the consequences and still enjoy the game.

the universe is an inverted paradox where every truth is a dichotomy. There has to be suffering for there to be happiness, there has to be loss for there to be gains.

on a related note:
http://www.hydlaaplaza.com/smf/index.php?topic=40635.msg455710#msg455710

ok, I finally realized that the 11 spot was supposed to go to Alvero, so he'll be next, followed by Jilerel, and then, I think, that's all the requests so far. I need to get them done in the next two weeks before classes start 

they're both great but that second one is just gorgeous.