Tyralus' Story

[Adeli]

I have finally made some grounding on my story, Quite a lot in fact. It has become evident that I will need to post my story in segments, as it it quite long. 700+ words and I\'d say that\'s only half if even that. I had not intended to write a short novel, but my mind gets carried away when I am writing and I couldn\'t help myself. I think I will post the segments each day, or maybe every two days. I hope you enjoy my story so far.

Tyralus.

I decided to post two segments at once, as neither contains action, just setting and a short bio

Let me know what you think.

[Adeli]

I was raised in a lavish manor house two days\' walk from Hydlaa.
I lived with just my parents and everything was peaceful. My parents were an elderly couple; I was their only child. My father Selven, being a retired Vigesimi was a fiercely proud Enkidukai and well known. In contrast, my mother Loretia was a gentle creature, who truly loved my father.
For reasons unknown to me, my father never told me what my family name was.
I was just known as Tyralus.
***

I was lying on my back in the shade of a large tree, watching the Azure Sun through its leaves as they were swaying in the gentle breeze. My mind was wandering; once more I needed some excitement. Being the only child around these parts meant I was often lonely. I made my mind up to go and ask father if we could visit Hydlaa. It was an enjoyable journey, with inns on the way if we needed a rest. I greatly enjoyed meeting travellers from all over Yliakum. It had been a few months since we last visited the city, and I had a sudden longing to see it again.
My mind made up, I gathered up the scroll I had been reading - a fanciful tale about a famous adventurer known as Calista - and set off in search of my father.
***

[smoak]

not bad so far, its odd to see something in first person after all the 3rd person stuff iv read here.  overall its hard for me to say what i think about it with such a small example, nice start though.

[Waylander]

Heh I like your way of writing man, much different from most of the stuff I read.  And I agree it is quite different to read 1st person...and very hard to write it....well, for me neways.  Keep up the good work man

[Adeli]

I\'ve always enjoyed writing first person, I\'m not sure why. My english teachers used to tell me I had a lot of talent yet no discipline to actually finish what I started. I had a dream of writing a novel, but I just have to find the time to do it.
Here are the next installments.
First person can be very difficult.
Eager to get on with the story, I posted two segments again.
I can be very descriptive at times, I once had to write a descriptive essay, I had 1000 words about a cat curled in front of a fire. Got an A+ for it. I\'m actually stopping myself from being too descriptive to reduce the length of the story.

Edit: The way I see it, these should all be 1st person. It\'s a roleplay thread, I don\'t roleplay in the third person very often do you?

[Adeli]

My favourite reading spot was alongside a narrow, winding stream an hour\'s walk from my house.
A loud screeching sound brought me out of my reverie and I glanced behind me to see six winged creatures flying in my direction.
My first thought was to seek cover, before I came to my senses and realised these were merely tame Pterosaurs. I had seen such beasts on a trip into Hydlaa; only rich, powerful men could afford them. Upon closer inspection of the winged mounts, I saw six figures - one astride each mount. Then they had passed, in the direction of my house. I excitedly broke into a run.
***
I arrived at home breathless from the exertion, but my excitement peaked as I could hear voices.
I hastily made my way around the house towards the source of the voices. Upon spying a group of men in robes astride Pterosaurs, I clambered up a nearby tree to get a better look.
The branches rustling as I made my way up the tree did not go unnoticed. A man with very fine features and draped in a cowled robe fashioned from the finest azure linen - I had studied Yliakum lore in my father\'s library and immediately recognised this man as a Dermorian - looked right at me.
I froze, fearing I had been discovered.
When no query came, I decided the robed stranger must not have seen me. I flattened myself again the bough of the tree to support myself and stay hidden.
***

[Adeli]

An unknown voice reached my ears. ?? don?t be a fool Selven??
I struggled to make sense of the words.
?... only fools? you and your master?? Came my father?s all too familiar voice.
?? is a great and powerful man?? Came the stranger?s voice once more.
 Looking down I could make out the figure of my father, and a man in a crimson robe with eyes to match. An Ylian! I thought to myself, having never seen an Ylian outside of Hydlaa. His hair and beard were both white and contrasted sharply with the robe and eyes. Light from the Azure Sun was playing on his hair gave it the look of polished silver. I noticed the light did not seem to penetrate his ruby eyes.
?? will vote? into the Inner Circle? will make you??
This caught my full attention; someone desired to replace one of the Octarchs? I strained my ears to hear the name of this aspiring politician but could not catch it.
?? not scared of the Relinquo Vinco or ?? My father sounded defiant, but I detected a slight trace of fear in his voice. ??  petty Vigesimi? never leave External Circle?  Everyone loves??
?? things change Selven? remember Fertedian Dalko? perhaps an unscheduled? into the Stone Labyrinths??
?? the last time? I will not? bring? to power??
I leaned forward to hear the name that eluded me. There was a deafening crack as the bough I was on departed from the tree in a rushed meeting with the hard ground below.
***

[Waylander]

Heh very nice, and I know what you mean it is hard to keep writing.  The thing for me is a start thinking of a new, better story after about a page or two.  I remember once I decided just to incorporate the stories into each other, the book ended up having over a hundred characters in just 20 pages

As for description I need to work on it, mine are too short albeit usualy quite beautifuly put.

[Adeli]

I have to make some adjustments to my story, so the next parts may take a couple of days.
That sounds like a complicated story Armeen.
On another note: WHEEEEE 100 VIEWS!
-more coming soon-

[Waylander]

lol I abandoned it when it hit 150 characters...cause I kinda lost myself

[Tapo]

its nice; very mysterious. lately ive been writing 1st person also =)

[Waylander]

We want more! we want more

Come on Adeli, I want to see what grand role you set up for me

[Adeli]

I\'ve got exams... two left... tomorrow and next wednesday! Can you wait?
Also I got WoW beta.