Jilata's past

[Jilata]

[I started to write the story in german... there is already a bit more existing at psde.de if anyone can speak german and doesn't want to wait till I translate it you can read it there.
I had some problems with the translation so I asked Cirerey to give me some hints about the mistakes I made. Thanks again for that Cirerey 
And since I am already thanking, I thank everyone in #psde who keep encouraging me and helped me at one point when I got stuck with the story ]



Jilata just wanted to empty her head. A few hours ago the world was still looking nice to her. Well, as nice as it could be when you run away from home to follow your love. Finally she had caught up to him. And as she stood before him, dirty from the traveling but happy that she found him, she was pushed away.

She ran. She just ran away. She didn't know where to. She stumbled, got scratches from branches and thorns. But she didn't mind it. She only wanted to get away. To get away from that place.

Jilata had been so sure, that he felt the same about her as she did. It could have been around half a cycle, that she had seen him for the first time. He was there. Sitting in their house. Sitting there and eating as if he would live there. Her father told her later, that he found him, tended his wounds and then brought him home. He stayed and helped in the village. In the beginning everyone was excited about the newcomer. But he never spoke about his past so it cooled down fast. The time passed and they got closer. He took the responsibility to search for Jilata when she ran away from lessons and other stuff she didn't want to do. They got to be close friends and she showed him all her favorite places. And they went to the festival in the village together. She remembered how unsettled he had been then. To be exact he had already been unsettled in the week before. But he stayed and went with her to the festival. The next morning he wasn't there anymore. She searched in the surrounding area unsuccessfully. So she quickly decided to pack something to eat and other stuff she thought she could use and followed him.

After a while she stopped, trying to catch her breath again. Her anger was over. All that was left was an emptiness inside of her. She started to walk again, following the stream she found. After a while she got too tired to keep walking and curled herself up under a tree. As she started to get wet from the rain, she got up again and kept walking. Always following the stream. Not knowing in which direction she was walking. She didn't care. She stopped thinking already as she started following it. Not thinking about what happened. Not remembering. The rain stopped, but she didn't realize it. Drops of water kept falling from the trees and the copses were still full of water, which keeps getting her wet when they fell down like little rain showers. She was shaking because of the cold, but didn't feel it. She didn't even realize that she was shaking. To say the truth she didn't feel anything. Not the hunger or the dull pain of her scratches nor the bruises. Jilata followed the stream. There was no reason behind it. Maybe it was because it led her. Because she didn't need to think where she was walking. She could just follow it. And that is what she did. She stayed by it's side even though she had to crawl through copses. She kept crawling and walking. Her survival instinct told her to. Told her, that it wouldn't be a good idea to stop and rest. As if it knew that she wouldn't get up if she did. She stumbled over a root. Again. Losing her balance she fell into a copse. She stayed there. She didn't have the strength to get up anymore.

[Sangwa]

Good story. Fits perfectly with the way you play Jilata.

Also, be sure to translate the rest as well. Unfortunately all I can read is my native language (Portuguese) and English.

[Jilata]

The Dermorian abruptly turned his head around. He carefully scanned the direction where he had heard the sound of breaking branches. The two Ylians turned to that direction as well, even though they rather instinctively felt than heard the sound and trusted the ears of their companion. “That wasn't an animal”, mumbled the Dermorian and walked in that direction, carefully, trying not to make a sound. The other two followed him. After a while he stopped and motioned them to look around and search for anything suspicious. They nodded slightly and went off to do as asked. Lelleniel liked to work with those brothers. They were skilled enough to follow his instructions quickly without doing mayor mistakes. That was one of the reasons why he always tried to take them with him on scoutings. And that was advantageous. They nearly didn't need any words to communicate. He smiled slightly and went off to search as well. He carefully scanned his surroundings, looking for anything out of place. But he saw nothing special. Suddenly the sound of a click with a tongue reached his ears. One of the brothers seems to have found something. He carefully walked to the sound, still scanning for enemies. But it didn't seem to be a trap. He heard the small sound of a stream before he reached the Ylian. Both were excited. He knew it just by looking at them. They tried to look through the copses. Blend smiled at him, as he noticed him and pointed at a copse. So he found it. Lelleniel nodded at him and stepped closer to the copse to take a look. He had difficulties trying to hide his surprise. There was an Enkidukai lying in there. The marks were that of an Akkaio. He smiled pleased and kicked the Enki slightly. There was no reaction. He frowns and kicked again, this time harder. A slight wince was the answer. So that Akkaio was still alive. He stepped back and instructed the younger brother to take the find with him. He turned around and followed a small animal path. He heard a small surprised sound behind him, but didn't turn around. He would know fast enough what surprised Tedlin so much to make a sound. They had to go back now. He led them over different animal paths to a lighter part of the woods. There he left them and walked, making detours to a glade. A stream parted it and stored some water in a little pond before continuing its way Was that the same stream as the one they found the Enkidukai at? They had to be more careful then. He waited till the other reached him and walked over to the three small houses. They were plain houses. Only made of wood, already bended and had been repaired a few times already. The hunters used to come here cycle for cycle when the hunting season started. But that was in the past. Before the vendetta started. Lelleniel got sad as he remembered that. Those times had been good times. The fight is already continuing for around thirty cycles now. No one knew exactly why it started. The only thing everyone was sure about, was that this vendetta wouldn't end, before one of the groups surrendered or were destroyed. And none of them would surrender. Not anymore. They reached the first house and were welcomed by an Nolthridir woman. “Where are the other?”, greeted Lelleniel her. She bowed respectfully. “Hunting.” Lelleniel nodded and stepped in. Blend and Tedlin followed him. The woman looked at the Enki and screamed in surprise. Lelleniel looked at her strictly. She shrugged and said: “That is a girl.” Tedlin dropped the Fenki on one of the furs, which covered the ground. The elf stepped beside him and looked at her. He noticed her damaged and dirty clothes, which could have been normal trousers and shirt before. Now their color couldn't be defined anymore. Dirt and blood made it impossible. She was small. It was not possible to guess her age. But she had already reached the beginning of adulthood. How could he have missed her feminine curves before? She had scratches all over her body. Were the other group that desperate to use girls and even in that condition? The wounds looked natural. But it was possible that they were intentionally made. He turned away. “Bind her.” He grabbed a chair and pulled it close to the fire. There he took off his boots and put them close to it to dry. He stretched his wet feet to warm them.

With the warmth slowly drying her fur, her survival instinct came back. Jilata moved a bit and noticed something stopping her movement. She growled lowly, displeased, because someone took her freedom and opened her eyes. She was in an unknown room. It seemed to have only practical use. A few furs marked the sleeping place. Two Ylians sat at a table with some wooden chairs around and looked at her not really friendly. They looked a bit like each other. They were probably brothers. She kept looking around and saw a Dermorian sitting in front of a fire. He turned his head and starred at her. Sad and hating at the same time. She would have been probably better off if she still had been alone in the woods. She groaned lowly as this thought led her to remember why she had been there. It wasn't important that she was here now. In a house full with strangers, looking at her as if they would hate her. To forget. Why can't she forget? She closed her eyes and slowly went back to sleep. To forget. She only wanted to forget.

Lelleniel sighed slightly as the Fenki closed her eyes again. He turned his gaze back to the fire. He had some concerns earlier. But those indifferent, dead eyes. He knew them too well. His face hardened. Nejale's eyes had been looking like them as she suddenly stood before him in a battle. He thought that she had been dead. Burned in the house they used to live in. He had lost the sight of her during the fight. And as he found her again, she had been too wounded to save. But even then she didn't recognize him. She had drawn a knife, wounding his leg. He shook his head to to get rid of the past and concentrate on the present.

[Jilata]

The door opened and a Nolthridir entered, one arm wrapped around the shoulders of the woman from earlier, holding a bow in the other hand. After him entered another Ylian, holding a bow as well. He was holding a pouch, probably filled with todays loot, in his other hand. He put the pouch on the table, then stepped to the fenki and stared at her. The woman opened the pouch, while her boyfriend took a seat at the table. She took meat pieces out and started to chop them skillfully. Lelleniel nods pleased. He liked clacker meat. The Ylian turned away and pulled a chair next to Lelleniel. He moved a bit to make a bit space for him. The newcomer pointed at the Akkaio."Your trophy?" Lelleniel nodded. "She has the same eyes as Nejale"; he added lowly. Zalka closed his eyes shocked. "She hadn't been one of us. So why?" The elf sighed. "I don't know. Who ever she is. We have to try and get some information. It can't go on like this..." They starred into the fire. The scent of grilled meat slowly filled the house. As the meat was put on the table, they stood up and took their chair to the table to eat there.

Darkness. Oblivion. Indifference. A stabbing pain in her side woke her. There were more people than the last time she was awake. Next to the Dermorian was now a Ylian. "Who are you?", the Ylian was the one who talked. Dully and unclear those words reached her mind. Who was she? She thought about this sentence, then forgot about it again. It wasn't important. Nothing was important. "Who. Are. You?", the Ylian spoke again. This time slower. She looked at him tired, unable to think about the same sentence again. The Ylian shook his head. "We won't get anything out of her like this. Not without violence and even that possibly won't help." Jilata closed her eyes again. "We need a mage. Who gets one?" The nolthridir stood up and raised a hand. "Good." Lelleniel gave him instructions with a low voice. As he finished, he nodded to the other one and left the house.

Lelleniel forced broth in her mouth. He closed her nose and mouth and forced her to swallow. The fur around her mouth was already sticky from other feeding actions. A few days passed since they had found her. He dropped the empty bowl on the table and sighs. Then he stepped out in the sun and took a seat in the grass next to Zalka. "She makes you miserable, old friend." The elf nodded. "She isn't like the other." He shook his head. "She isn't hung up on violence." He felt a hand on his shoulder. Heavy and comforting. They have been friends for a long time. And Lelleniel was glad to still have a friend remaining and not dead like all the other companions. "Maybe she still has a chance then", said the Ylian softly. They sat there and bathed in the sun. Hoping, that it would dispel the dark clouds of the past in their minds.

The hushed patter of two Rivnaks stopped their thoughts. They stood up and looked in the direction of the sound. Blend was on watch and he didn't signaled any enemies. It was probably the mage they were waiting for. Two rider really showed up. Lelleniel narrowed his eyes a bit and tried to recognize something. The Nolthridir, Newalech, was leading. The shape of someone in robes followed him. He nodded pleased. "Now we will see if she still has a chance", mumbles he. Then he raised his voice a bit. "Tedlin!" The door of another house opened and the one who was called stepped outside. He looked shortly to Lelleniel, then followed his gaze. The two rider reached the houses and Tedlin held their Rivnaks, while they unmounted. He lead them into the stable afterwards. Newalech nodded to Lelleniel and Zalka, before he entered the house. He looked tired. The mage stepped to them. He was covered in a cape. Lelleniel closed his eyes shortly. She really had tough luck. From all the mages of their group, this one would possibly care the least what happened with her. He didn't like him. He was arrogant and disrespectful. But they didn't have a choice. "She is in here, right?" Zalka nodded slightly and the mage opened the door and entered the house. They followed him and the elf saw from the corner of his eyes Tedlin coming from the stable. The mage knelt in front of the fenki. "I need her awake." Lelleniel sat down on a chair while Zalka stepped to her and kicked her lightly.

Jilata opened her eyes. She knew the meaning of this kick. They would just kick harder if she doesn't react. So it was better to open the eyes immediately. There was someone new again. He said something and someone grabbed her and leaned her against the wall in a sitting position. The new guy sat down in front of her and looked in her eyes. His eyes seemed to slightly glow red.

Menora entered her brain. What he found perplexed him. It was dark and foggy. He tried to get a grip, to gain control over her mind. But there was nothing where he could get a hold onto. He analyzed the surroundings. Wasn't the fog at one place thicker than the rest? He compared it again. It really seemed like it. He stepped closer to that place. What is it trying to hide? He saw a shadow where the fog was so thick, that he could hardly see his hand in front of his eyes. Well he rather stumbled over it than saw it. Menora bent down and recognized the shadow as the fenki. She had rolled herself to a ball, as if she was trying to protect herself. He kicked her with his foot. No reaction. He frowns angrily and kicked her again. No reaction again. He won't get anywhere like this. He could use violence here, but Menora didn't like the idea. He didn't want to destroy the information she might had. He left her thoughts.

[Jilata]

Lelleniel watched the mage. Nothing visible happened for a while. Suddenly the mage moved. Pale and slender finger were visible, as Menora reached his arm to the Enkidukai. He hitched them in the small golden earring in her right ear and tugged it jerkily. Lelleniel jumped up from his seat. "Why did you do that Menora?", he roared. Newalech moved in at the end of the room, awoken from the noise. The mage didn't even turn around. He just removed the earring from his finger. "I had to wake her somehow", he answered arrogantly. Blood welled from the fresh wound and dropped on the Enkidukai. Her eyes widened from the pain. "Stop the bleeding. This is disgusting. But don't heal the wound." Lelleniel growled but reached out with his slightly glowing hand to fulfill the order. He picked up the earring, a small piece of her ear was still left on it. He walked back to the chair and sat down.

Pain woke her. It was a different kind of pain than the one she was trying to flee from. It was bodily pain. She felt something dropping on her Shoulder. Warm. The elf stepped to her and reached a glowing hand for her. The dropping stopped, but the pain stayed. She whimpered lowly. He went back to sit down. Why hadn't he finished healing the wound? Why did she even have a wound? "Finally awake?", a cold voice asked. She winced. The voice had been clear. She felt something foreign in her brain and looked around. There was a figure cloaked in robes with glowing red eyes. Jilata instinctively winced backwards. "What do you want?" The figure came closer. "Your memories." He reached a hand out to her. Pale and ghostly. The memories overwhelmed her. She relived again how she finally found him, how he rejected her and how she ran away. The last blurred and hardly distinguishable. "He is the reason why you are like this. He made you to be like this", a voice whispered in the background. The figure of the man she used to love, appeared in front of her eyes. "Correct he is it. He is the one at fault for your current situation", the voice continued to whisper. Anger eliminated her pain. Anger because he made her to what she is now.

Lelleniel saw the change in the girl. It was a small growl first. That lifeless look in her eyes left, eliminated from anger. He wasn't happy about it. She tore at her chains. Menora recoiled from her. "She will lead us", he said coldly. Lelleniel stared at him angrily. The mage just shrugged. "This is the only way. She will know where she has to go. The memories were too blurred." Lelleniel sighs and closed his hand around the earring. "We will leave tomorrow morning."

Lelleniel was glad when the night reached its end. He had been awake a few time and when he looked to the prisoner, she had always her eyes open. He had seen the typical glow of the eyes of a feline. She had stopped to fight against her change in the evening and had only stared at the door angrily. He heard a hushed rustling, as Tedlin and Blend got up. The Enkidukai was still awake. That was good, because they could leave soon then. The brothers yawned and stretched at the same time. Lelleniel smiled slightly. That was one of the reasons why they were so suitable for the scoutings. They did everything in a harmony and in unison, that he never had to worry that they would get in the way of each other. Everyone took a sack with snacks and the brothers took a bow and an quiver with arrows as well. Lelleniel stepped to the Akkaio. "We will bring you to where we picked you up. I will release you from your chains there then. Understood?" She nodded shortly. "Good. And don't kick me while I release your feet." He bent down and cut the knot. She got up and walked to the door, which was open already. Lelleniel followed her and closed it silently. Then he lead the way. Jilata followed behind him and behind her the two Ylian, carefully scanning the area.

"What do you have there?" Alarmed closed the Clamod menki his Finger around the stone. An other one rested his head on his shoulder and tried to get a glimpse at the stone. "What do you want, Celch?", growled the first one. Celch grinsed impishly and tried to hug him. The other one jumped up and starred at him angrily. Celch laughed. "You are still as easy to tease as you used to be." Suddenly he stopped and frowns. A low growl left his throat. He jumped over the tree trunk and tried to put a knife at the throat of the other menki. That one grabbed his arm and stopped the knife a few centimeter away from his fur. The ears from both were flattened. They starred at each other angrily. "Stop that this instant." They froze and stepped away from each other. Celch sheathed his knife again. "What was the reason for that?" A Sarraghi Menki stepped to them. "He is a traitor", Celch growled. "Why do you think so?", the Sarraghi asked sharply. "That smell!" Celch pointed at the other Clamod. "It is only faint, but I found the same smell in the west. It lead in the direction the other are supposed to be." The eyes of the Clamod widen and he dropped to the ground. "No. That can't be true. She was supposed to go back to her parents", he whispered despaired. "I didn't want her to get into this mess." He hid his face behind his paws. "Who is she?" It was the voice of the Sarraghi. "Jilata. An Akkaio I got to know while I had been away." Celch clenched his fist tightly, tightly enough to cut with his nails in his palms. "And she found you here." The Sarraghi sighs. "Now we have a prob-" He interrupted himself. "She only got till here?" The Clamod nodded slightly. "That could work then." Both Clamods looked at him confused. "I just assume that she was found by them. They will use any means to find us. We will prepare at trap for them, when that Akkaio leads them here." The menki jumped up. "Jilata would never lead them here", he growled. The Sarraghi narrowed his eyes. "Never? As in the case she would go back home?" The first one looked like he would jump at the Sarraghi, but choose not to do it and just growled with bared teeth. The Sarraghi shook his head commiserative. "Don't forget, that there are enough possibilities to get to know something without the approval of the person."

They stopped in front of a copse next to a stream. Jilata didn't know where she was, just as well as she didn't know where she had to go. It was more a feeling, that let her look in the direction she came from. Her ears twitch, trying to observe the area closely. The Dermorian stepped to her and his hand on her shoulder got her to look at him. "I remove your chains no", he spoke lowly. "We found you here." She nodded. Why had she even been chained? She felt the chains dropping from her wrists and rubbed them. Now that they were freed, she felt a dull pain there. "You can go now." His voice sounded a bit sad. Why was he sad because of her? They were strangers. She shrugs inwardly and turned to the present. She had to find him. And then he will pay for what he did to her.

Lelleniel, Blend and Tedlin followed her. When the couldn't follow Jilata through a copse, they searched for a way around it. Sometimes she stopped without a visible reason. Only her twitching ears and swinging tail told them that she was still alive. It started to dawn but they kept walking. Jilata stopped when it was dark. She curled herself up under a tree, without saying a word. The other three decided who would guard first, then searched for nearly dry place, ate some of their snacks and went to sleep.

Celch was in a bad mood. They have been waiting to ambush the enemies for a few days already and still nothing had happened. He didn't like it. He preferred to hunt. That sitting around and waiting for the prey definitely wasn't something for him. He checked the wind. It came from north-east. Good. If that Akkaio really lead one, she wouldn't be warned through the smell. He heard the small noise of rain and suppressed a sigh. Generally he didn't have anything against it. Particularly when he was hunting, because it makes it hard for the prey to detect him than it already was. Now he head the feeling he was the prey, whose senses were dulled from the increasing noise of the rain.

[Sangwa]

Well written, with just a typo here and there, lovely story. There's just one thing I don't like too much: you don't make paragraphs as often as you should. You should use some of the slight changes in topic to insert them, it makes it easier for the reader to locate where he's at.

Example:

The Dermorian abruptly turned his head around. He carefully scanned the direction where he had heard the sound of breaking branches. The two Ylians turned to that direction as well, even though they rather instinctively felt then heard the sound, trusting the ears of their companion (I'm adding this sentence here just so it looks like a paragraph).
“That wasn't an animal”, mumbled the Dermorian and walked in that direction, carefully, trying not to make a sound. The other two followed him. After a while he stopped and motioned them to look around and search for anything suspicious. They nodded slightly and went off to do as asked. Lelleniel liked to work with those brothers. They were skilled enough to follow his instructions quickly without doing mayor mistakes. That was one of the reasons why he always...

It's hard to choose them because the text has a flawless flow, but you should try and make these pauses. Well, just my advice anyway!

[Jilata]

[Finally had some time to translate a bit more. Thanks again for reading through it, Cirerey
I added a few paragraphs like you suggested Sangwa. I hope it is easier to read now]

It started to rain. First it was was a fine drizzle that hardly reached through the canopy of leaves. But with the time that passes it got steadier, so that drizzle turned into a rain shower. Lelleniel kept a closer watch at the surrounding area. His ears were useless now. Jilata stopped again. The elf still kept watching the area. In the corner of his eye he saw shiver passing through her body.
He turned his attention to her. Her ears flatten completely on her head and growled slightly. She had her head turned to the left and starred at a copse. Then a few things happened at the same time.
She was hit by a bluish beam, throwing her against a tree where she dropped and lay motionless. Two arrows flew at them coming from different directions. Momentarily paralyzed by surprise one scratches Leleniels arm. Tedlin wasn't fast enough to react and got hit by the arrow in his right shoulder. He dropped his bow, which was useless now. He unsheathed his sabre and enters the copse where the arrow came from. Lelleniel left in the direction of the mage, trusting, that Blend would fight against the last attacker.

Celch smirked as the hurt Ylian approached him. That one wouldn't give him much trouble. And then he could look for that girl, which led that group here. He drew his bow, targeted the Ylian and shot. The human turned his upper body and dodged the arrow. Celch clicked his tongue angrily. Now the Ylian was too close to have an advantage with the bow. He threw it to the side and leaped with drawn daggers at the Ylian.

Pain was the first thing Jilata felt. Acute pain mainly in her head. She whimpers lowly. Bit by bit noise got into her consciousness. The sound of weapons hitting each other, the breaking of branches. Her eyelids open flittering. The area was unknown to her. Where was she? She looked around, still laying on the ground. No one close to her.
She got up and had to hold onto the tree to steady herself. She waited till the dizzy feeling went away. She stepped to steps away from the tree, before she stops again. She raised her head a bit and tried to identify the scent the wind carried. Blood was the first thing she recognized. The scent of strangers, non Enkidukai and the skent of wet fur were next. And in that mix she smelled him.
Why was he here? Or rather why was she here? She rubbed her head and tried to remember. The pain in her head increased and she whimpered again. The loud noise of a breaking branch drew her attention.
A Ylian stumbled backwards out of a copse, bleeding from more than one wound. He was slightly familiar. She had already seen him somewhere. But where? She screamed shortly when she recognized the person who followed the first one. The Clamod looked at her shocked and tried to jump between the Ylian and her. That guy reacted as fast as the menki and threw a dagger in her direction.

The gaze of the menki turned to his chest and he noticed a dagger in his chest, piercing his heart. “So this is my punishment...”, he mumbled, while he dropped to the ground. Jilata steps to his side and took his head carefully in her paws. He looks at her his eyes slowly mirthless. Two tears ran down his face. “I am so sorry, sweety. I am so sorry...”
He died and Jilata closed his eyes gently. Tears ran down her face and dropped onto the slowly fading menki. She looked to the uninvolved watching Ylian. The tears blurred her gaze as she jumped with claws and bared teeth at him. He dodged her easily and hit her on the head. Her senses faded again.

Blend made sure, that she really unconscious. He swore inwardly about the elf who didn't want her to be hurt. Lelleniel got too soft. It won't be far off, till he has to retire. Blend respected the elf. He wasn't the youngest anymore, he still had the sharpest senses of all three in the trio. His elfish blood might help him, still he had the sharpest senses of all the people he knew. Beside that he had wisdom through all the years he lived through. The brothers were nothing close to him.
Blend turned away from the Enkidukai and started to search for his brother. When he found him, he noticed that he wasn't in a better state than himself. Lelleniel was there as well. A clamod menki was tied up by some magic. The elf looked like he had the least wounds. Blend moaned slightly as he noticed what in store for them. They would have to carry the menki.
Lelleniel looked at him inquiring and nodded to the direction he came from. “I had to knock her unconscious.” The elf tilts his head and waited for an explanation. “She attacked me after I killed another clamod menki.” The eyes of the tied Enkidukai opened and he starred at Blend with hatred. Lelleniel nodded slightly. “You two look after him. I doubt he will make a lot of trouble with those wounds.” He made a few steps to the direction Blend came from, then turned around. “Show me your wounds first.”

[Onilise]

I love it!! You're such a great writer. I look forward to reading more.

[Jilata]

[Finally have that part translated. Thanks for correcting it Cirerey.]

Gentle arms were holding her. Jilata was still wet, but the warmth, which got through the clothes and her fur, made it bearable. Her head still hurt, but the pain has already lessened. She didn't open her eyes and only moved her head to a more comfortable position and fell asleep again.

Lelleniel steered his Rivnak through the last trees at the edge of the wood. He held the Akkaio in front of him on the saddle. She nearly slept three days straight. He wasn't worried about that. She was deep asleep. A sleep of recovery. She needed it, after all what happened. He only hoped, that he would be able to find someone to look after her. He wanted to give her a chance to live a normal live. He reached a road and spurred his Rivnak, following the road.

The rivnak snorted and the Diaboli scanned her surroundings. Both mercenaries, an Ynnwn and a Kran watched the road where they came from. Both were ready to fight. She steered the carriage to the side and stopped. From a small valley an rider appeared. Telena frowned. The rider seemed to be in a hurry. Against her expectations the rider slowed down and stopped in a respectful distance. She examined the rider. She didn't choose two big mercenaries for nothing. Usually people have respect for their size. But she wasn't sure about this Dermorian. In his eyes there was no fear or insecurity. He only examined both shortly before he gave her his attention.
He bowed his head. “Greetings, merchant.” Telena stepped to the side of her carriage. “Greetings, Sir. Do you need anything from me?” She made a movement with her hand to her carriage. “I have good quality fabric and good fur.” The elf shook his head. “Thank you, but I don't need anything. I just have a request for you.” The Diaboli raised an eyebrow and examined the rider. Now she noticed the paws and tail looking out of the bundle in front of him. She shook her head. “I don't buy slaves.”
Anger glowed in the eyes of the Dermorian, but his voice was controlled. “She isn't a slave. I only want you to look after her.”
She folded her arms. “And you think, that I have a charitable business, that looks after some poor creatures?”, answered she ironically.
The stranger lowered his head. “No, I didn't expect that..” Pain shows on his face. “I would look after her myself, but there is no way I can. She has to leave this place here.” Telena sighed lightly. “What would be my profit for looking after the Enkidukai?”
He looked at her with new hope. “What about a promise? Close to this area there is a hidden hunting village. I will tell them to sell you fur for a good price to you the next time you travel through this area.” She thought a bit, then nods slowly. “Who is giving me this promise?” She stepped closer to the elf. “Lelleniel, the hunter. They will know that name. Which name should I tell them?”
She reached her arms out to get the Enkidukai. “Telena, merchant for fabric and fur.” He carefully passed the Enkidukai to the Diaboli. She opened it carefully and took a look inside. “What is her name?”
The elf looked sad again. “I don't know. We...” He thought a moment. “We found her. She got caught in something, that she shouldn't have.” She looked at him interested, then nodded as she noticed that he wouldn't tell her more than that. “She will have to work for her living or she has to leave. I can't promise more than that.” Lelleniel nodded. “Thank you.” He bowed respectfully, then turned his rivnak around and hurried off.
Telena watched him leaving. She put the Enkidukai onto the furs in her carriage then continued her travel.

[Onilise]

Awe!! How can you stop there? haha waiting for moreeee

[Mask]

You definitely should rework this story if you have the time at hand, since so far this could really become a very nice story. Despite the danger of sounding like a borken record, there are a few things you could do to improve the reading pleasure for the readers.

You're doing good at keeping the sentences short, but sometimes they sound choppy and repetitive, e.g.

Lelleniel watched the mage. Nothing visible happened for a while. Suddenly the mage moved. Pale and slender finger were visible, as Menora reached his arm to the Enkidukai.

or

He held the Akkaio in front of him on the saddle. She nearly slept three days straight. He wasn't worried about that. She was deep asleep. A sleep of recovery. She needed it, after all what happened.

If you read these sentences out aloud with a bored, monotonous voice, do they still invoke the same images in your head as they did when you wrote it? Is there redundant information or words that could be cut to make it sound better? Example:
Nothing visible happened for a while. But suddenly the mage moved, pale and slender finger reached for the Enkidukai. He hitched them in the small golden earring in her right ear and ripped it from her ear. Lelleniel jumped up from his seat.
"Why did you do that Menora?" [...]
or, respectively:
He held the Akkaio in front of him on the saddle. She nearly slept three days straight. It wasn't troubling him: it was a sleep of recovery. She needed it, after all that happened.
Show us what happens, don't tell us. Use telling carefully, the same goes for description. Use sentence length and new lines to pace your story or to add some extra momentum in dramatic scenes.

Most of these stem from the translation I assume, and the only way to avoid it is, as far as I can tell, to completely write it in English. Or do heavy reworking - in any case, a lot of work. It is rewarding and frustrating at the same time.
Keep writing!