Author Topic: The Pilgrimage  (Read 1249 times)

novacadian

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The Pilgrimage
« on: May 24, 2011, 09:35:55 pm »
Venorel was making good time; in spite of the darkness; without need of torches. The passage was illuminated by phosphorescent fungus, which grew in clumps along the sides of the path. The violet of it's glow softly lit her way.

She felt another person; from the naive young girl who had walked this passage six long cycles before; through the Bronze Doors and beyond. To Hydlaa, itself, after having departed from the security of her father's roof for the first time in her life. Could this mature Warrior Priestess; who was travelling down this path on her return, be that same girl?

Ven smiled at her thoughts, yet the talismans which she carried of that young girl connected them. Ven rested a hand on one of two long swords at her belt. Their hilts bejewelled with emeralds; inset in the ends of each hilt. They had been gifts from that naive young girl's first love. He found them in a dried up pond on the second night they were together; exploring the dungeons below the Laanx Temple. Ven grasped the hilt tightly as if holding his hand.

Much time had passed yet she still missed his company. 'First love true love', her mother used to say. Her thoughts then floated to her second beau and the two long swords strapped to her backpack. The longsword of Talad's Arm and Laanx' Mind had been gifts from him. She knew it had not been love right from the start; yet she held high regard and respect for him. Perhaps she held back her love; knowing that he would, or could not, commit to her alone. As she pondered that thought she played with the ring on her finger; a habit she often did when in deep thought. As the ring was turned upon her finger, the engraving on its face appeared and disappeared with each turning. It read Talad. It was to Talad that her love had finally turned when she came to give herself to Him alone. It was a conscious decision that drove her rise to Priest rank in the Brotherhood of Talad.

She wondered what her father would say. A wry smile formed upon her lips. It seemed ironic that she had seemed to become a supporter of all those things, who's rebellion of, had driven her down this path away from her father's house; six long cycles previously. Her father's faith and harsh loyalty to the Octarchy had brought just as harsh words between he and Ven. In six cycles she had learned forgiveness. With her ordination to Priest rank recently over; no time seemed better than to seek it. Her mother would understand. She would see the path that needed travelling. Perhaps by staying Ven would never had known forgiveness. Regardless of the degree of emotion his stearness would permit; Ven knew he would be proud of what that naive young girl had done with those six cycle.

novacadian

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #1 on: June 01, 2011, 01:34:30 am »
As Venorel rounded a bend in the passage, crystal brightness appeared. The passage opened to an area that must have collapsed in the earthquake that was said to have originally opened the dead end Labyrinth's passageways around Yliakum. Venorel would soon have travelled full circle; she would soon be home.

She picked up here pace, now surrounded by the full crystal's light. Picking her way up a rise created by the rubble of the fall-in of the ancient earthquake, she came at last to another tunnel entrance where the quake had not caused a collapse. To the left of that new passage carved into the rock face was an elaborately engraved arch cut into the cliff face. Huge wooden gates had been built to fill the arch. They were closed. Carved into the cliff face, above the gates, were archer's windows. Ven noticed movement at one of them and knew that her approach had been monitored. When within bow shot of the gate the challenge finally came.

"Who goes there?", came a call from an archer's window.

"Venorel Weruno, returning home after six long cycles.", called back Ven.

"By the Gods!", came the startled reply,   "Ven, is that really you?"

There was no mistaking that voice; even after all this time.

Laughing merrily, Ven called back, "Tis I, Hareneg Lereli! Now open the gate you lazy Stonebreaker!"

She thought she heard a chuckle yet could not be sure. Yet soon the gates began swinging wide. Venorel had come home.

« Last Edit: June 01, 2011, 01:43:46 am by novacadian »

Onilise

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2011, 11:19:41 am »
Very very nice. I love the descriptives about her surroundings and thoughts. I love the happy "ending" too :D More to come?


Never trust a unicorn fish.

novacadian

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #3 on: June 13, 2011, 09:43:43 pm »
Very very nice. I love the descriptives about her surroundings and thoughts. I love the happy "ending" too :D More to come?

Glad you are enjoying it Onilise. The hope is to explore the next stage in Venorel's development as a character; her main goal of becoming a warrior priestess having now been achieved in game.

- Nova

Mrokii

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #4 on: June 15, 2011, 11:23:48 am »
I second Onilise's opinion, heh. Nicely written, a good description of her surroundings. And the end was lovely. Who doesn't love a good ending!  :) (In hope that there is more to come).

PS: What confused me slightly were the semicolons, but that may only be because it is not a structure of sentences I tend to use. Nice work nevertheless.

Aramara Meibi

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2011, 01:01:13 pm »
Here is a lesson on the proper use of semicolon. A semicolon should be used to join two COMPLETE sentences together in place of a conjunction such as 'and' or 'but'. These sentences should be in some way directly related, preferably referring to the same subject.

the following examples are all correct.

The frog was happy. He was sitting on a log.
The frog was happy because he was sitting on a log.
The frog was happy; he was sitting on a log.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2011, 06:09:22 pm by Aramara Meibi »
all blessings to the assembled devotees.

Sarras Volcae

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2011, 05:28:33 pm »
The frog was happy, because he was sitting on a log.

this is incorrect. should be:

"The frog was happy because he was sitting on a log."

no comma. "because" is not a coordinating conjunction. many people think it is, but it's not. or maybe it's because this sentence uses a comma:

"Because the frog was sitting on a log, he was happy."

but if you switch the phrases around, the comma has to go.

Aramara Meibi

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2011, 06:09:37 pm »
corrected.
all blessings to the assembled devotees.

novacadian

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2011, 11:38:42 pm »
PS: What confused me slightly were the semicolons....

It's my Kafka period. :)

[New episodes starting to jell. ]

- Nova

novacadian

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #9 on: May 10, 2013, 07:01:56 am »
It was good to be home. This came as a pleasant surprise to Ven after her being so glad to leave those long six cycles ago. She found a calmness here which she had not known before. Hydlaa was never too far from her thoughts, however, as Hareneg never tired of pressing Ven for tales of her time in the capital. He would vicariously drink in her stories like a fine stonebreaker ale. His interest revealed how anxious he was to get away from Deep Vein and explore the life awaiting him beyond The Doors. They spent hours, together, hunting and harvesting fungii deep in the surrounding caves.

Her mother was overjoyed to have her near again. She had Ven give lectures on Talad's teachings and histories at her small school. She would sit quietly in the back of the room drinking in her daughter's presence, glowing with pride.

The old Talad priest graciously welcomed Ven's help at the temple. Talad's New Blood he affectionately called her. She aided him in caring for the needy. Through him Ven learned the practical side of being a Priestess.

In time, even her father softened. Never saying it to her face, his pride not allowing it, yet it was evident in subtle ways. When speaking of her, to any of the town folk, referring to her as my daughter the Priestess or marking time by things like since my daughter became a Priestess or before my daughter found Talad. Those acknowledgements were his way of showing pride in her choices since leaving Deep Vein. Ven waited for the right moment to ask his forgiveness, and offer her's, for the harsh words between them before her last departure.

Days passed peacefully for Ven in Deep Vein. Each one seeing the wall between her and her father breaking down a little more. Each day renewing and strengthening the bonds between Hareneg and her mother.

Ven felt happiness for the first time in many cycles; each day making thankful offerings, to Talad, for bringing her home.
« Last Edit: May 10, 2013, 07:03:53 am by novacadian »

novacadian

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #10 on: October 16, 2019, 10:04:56 pm »
The cycles rolled by. Ven's participation at the Temple grew. The old Priest was only too glad to offer all and any outreach work that Ven would take.

This was good work to practise in The Ways of Talad. These were good people still left in this mined out town. If not for fungii harvesting there would be little else to keep them here.

Ven was fitting in. Perhaps too well. The open wilderness called for her return. The Brotherhood, of which she now belonged, beckoned her.

She sent word to Taemian Yangnk requesting passage with the next incoming shipment from the labyrinth.

Migg

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2019, 01:51:12 pm »
Welcome back to Hydlaa, priestess!

novacadian

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2019, 02:01:49 pm »
Welcome back to Hydlaa, priestess!

Venorel smiles

Damola

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2019, 05:05:57 pm »
Nice story telling, Ven! I enjoyed reading it.
Love,
Damola

novacadian

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Re: The Pilgrimage
« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2019, 06:10:49 am »
Nice story telling, Ven! I enjoyed reading it.

Thanks, Damola.