Author Topic: Metamorphosis [Needs Advice]  (Read 556 times)

Xifer

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Metamorphosis [Needs Advice]
« on: June 20, 2011, 08:52:59 pm »
I have a character idea that I want some feedback on. Here's a short story about his past and how he came to be what he is now. I'd like some feedback on it and was wondering what, if any of it, is legal to be RP'ed in PS.

PART I

Seriim Shaevrin stood outside of the building. He'd been in the building before, sure, but this time it felt... different. He scratched the back of his bald head, staring at the huge doors that led into the research center and finally approached the doors. It had been several weeks since he'd last entered the center; Seriim had been doing research of his own in an ancient Dark Way artifact that was uncovered. No one was allowed near the enchanted object, so he had to read into the notes that the higher up magi had taken.

Seriim felt extremely out of place as he entered the building; not because of his absence, but because he was the tallest Ylian there. At six foot two, Seriim was taller than most anyone. His face was sharp and unattractive, with two brown eyes that stared out from under his brow. The Ylian's body was not built for fighting, but rather running and jumping.

He shook his head to clear the awkwardness of standing a head taller than the other arcane scholars and  mages and continued across the floor to the Archive. No one paid him any heed, not that he expected any; Seriim had never really experienced love or compassion, let alone friendship. And that was all well to him. For the moment, all Seriim needed were his studies.

The door to the Archive was locked tight with the gear-and-spell locking mechanism that was normally locked. The Ylian mage put his hand on the seven-sided azure crystal imbedded in the center of the door and whispered one word: “Open.”

The crystal in the door glowed slightly and there was the mechanical groan of gears working in the door. In moments, the gate was opened just enough for Seriim to enter. The Azure Way magic that had sealed the door still tingled Seriim's hand as it worked to shut the gate again.

He stood there in darkness for a few moments. One...two...three... he counted off silently in his head as he waited. Shadows suddenly began to recede, revealing several shelves, each with an azure-colored crystal sitting on it with a golden plaque under it. Seriim walked to the third one from the center on the left and searched for a certain crystal. He found it after several minutes of looking; its plaque was labeled Shadowtap.

Seriim grabbed the crystal and closed his eyes, opening his mind up to the object. Almost instantly, information about the artifact poured into his mind whilst the crystal sought out and copied any information on the Shadowtap that it did not posses. The whole process took place in the span of only five heartbeats. Only after this transference of information did Seriim open his eyes. A scowl befell his already sour face. “Gods damn it, I know more about the bloody artifact than these scholars. If only I were allowed to see it for myself...”

After finding nothing of worth, Seriim left the building and returned to the small hovel he called home. It wasn't much more than a one room building with a bed, a desk, and a chest. Just enough room for him to move around, work, and sleep. Parchments were pinned on all the walls, each covered in different formulas, sketches, or concepts and each a vital part of Seriim's research.


Serrim slammed the door as he entered his home. He was furious that the so-called “high magi” had found out nothing from the Shadowtap when HE himself, someone who was repeatedly denied access to the artifact, had discovered the object's origin!

“They must be complete imbeciles to have discovered so little. I need to see the artifact with my own eyes, I have to study it...” Seriim paced his small home, working over how to convince the Council to allow him access to the artifact. Then, a thought slipped into his mind; what if he simply broke in and looked at it himself? Perhaps he could find its purpose then.

At first, Seriim shook the idea from his head. If he were caught, surely he would be put to death for infiltrating the Archives. But then he thought over it again; it was easy for him not to get caught. Unimaginably easy, actually. He was only an adept at magic, sure, but he was no fool. And the guards around the Archives weren't very diligent at night either.

“Tomorrow night, then,” Seriim thought with a smile. “Tomorrow night, I will study what could be the most powerful Dark Way artifact ever discovered.”
« Last Edit: June 22, 2011, 02:13:14 pm by Xifer »

Sarras Volcae

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Re: Metamorphosis [Part I]
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2011, 10:24:01 pm »
yo xifer, i'm really happy for you, i'mma let you finish, but kafka had one of the best metamorphoses of all time!

Aramara Meibi

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Re: Metamorphosis [Part I]
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2011, 10:50:37 pm »
Sarras hasn't read Ovid.
all blessings to the assembled devotees.

Xifer

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Re: Metamorphosis [Part I]
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2011, 07:24:06 pm »
Part II

The next night, Seriim stood outside the Research Center dressed in his old leathers. Simple, gray leather armor with a metal shoulder pad on his left arm and three potions on its strap. He bore no weapons other than two daggers sheathed on each of his thighs. On his back was a small backpack.

When the twelfth bell sounded the hour across town, Seriim knew it was time to move. He quickly casted a spell on himself and his eyes began to slowly see. On the fifth level of Yliakum, night was very dark, almost pitch, but thanks to this spell, Seriim could see almost as well as an Enkidukai. He ran from the bushes to the back wall of the Center and touched the crystal on the back door. With a whispered word, it opened quietly; this door was locked with only magic. He quietly slipped inside.

The door led into the break room, where the scholars and magi took their lunch and dinners. The lights were off and the room was void of life. Perfectly acceptable, Seriim thought to himself as he ran quietly across the floor towards the Archives. Down the hall, to the left, right down the stairs, and straight ahead; there were no guards to be seen.

As he rounded the last corner,  Seriim noticed them. There were guards on either side of the Archive's door—there was no way around them. The Ylian crouched behind the corner and locked his eyes on the torch-lit guards. His hand loosened the glyph sack at his waist and he casted a spell to make the guards sleep—its effect took immediately. As soon as the guards were down and asleep, Seriim ran down to the gate and took a small device out of his backpack: a gauntlet of leather and metal with an azure-colored crystal imbedded in the forearm piece.

As he slipped the device onto his arm, Seriim began to feel it thrum with magic. The enchantment had activated. He grabbed hold of the crystal handle in the Archive's gate and concentrated on the identity of one of the high magi. Both the crystal on the gauntlet and the crystal in the door glowed white for a moment and then the gate opened.

Seriim removed the gauntlet and replaced it in his bag before sneering at the still-sleeping guards. “You're a heavy-sleeping lot, aren't you?” he taunted as he entered the Archives.

Unlike the Depository, the Archive Gates didn't shut on him. This annoyed Seriim; he'd have to work fast. The Ylian quietly searched for the Shadowtap in the dimly lit Archives and found it rather quickly; after all, it was the newest artifact to be submitted.

It was unlike anything the Ylian mage had ever seen before; a beautiful thing, really. It was a sphere about the size of his fist, made of pure obsidian. It was sectioned off into quadrants by lines of black marble, which met at an onyx sphere in the artifact's front. Circuits of moving, black energy ran throughout the obsidian body of the sphere, with traces of purple showing up throughout them.

Seriim picked up the sphere carefully, unable to contain a euphoric grin. He was extremely careful on where his fingers and hands touched the sphere, avoiding the strange black-and-purple circuits that ran through the obsidian. He attempted a divination on the sphere, but its power simply absorbed the spell; this surprised Seriim, so he took a mental note of it.

Once again, he ran over the object's mysterious origin in his head. It was created by a Dark Way master around two to three hundred years prior. It's exact purpose was unknown, but its creator was an infamously powerful being. The creator had claimed in his journals that the Shadowtap could be used to create a being whose soul was linked directly to the Dark Way, thus more powerful than even he. Seriim was skeptical about this, but its creation was more interesting and likely to be true.

The Shadowtap was created from obsidian, black marble, onyx, and the Dark Way, but its core is said to be fragment of the Dark Crystal in the Death Realm. If this was true, then that meant that the Dark Crystal could be destroyed, which is valuable information for some.

After sifting through the information he had already gathered, Seriim looked closely at the onyx sphere in the center of the object; it looked like a button of some sort... He allowed one of this fingers to touch the circuit running across the sphere's body; shadows danced across his finger tips, caressing them with a cold sensation. It was almost...comforting.

Seriim noted this and turned the sphere around, looking for any other interesting areas; there were none other than the onyx sphere. So after several moments thought, he turned it back to face him and pressed on the smaller sphere lightly. It sank in much more than the mage had thought it would. As the onyx  button disappeared into the depths of the the sphere, the air suddenly grew colder and the room darker.

Seriim knew then he'd made a grave mistake; not even his magically augmented eyes could see through the darkness that now surrounded him. He looked at his hands and shrieked; the circuits that had surrounded the artifact had now wrapped around his hands, boring into his skin. Slowly, his skin paled and more shadows began to bleed from his skin, sheathing his arms and body. The Ylian dropped to his knees, wincing in pain as the sphere stole his humanity and replaced it with shadows. After ten excruciatingly long minutes, the button of onyx rolled back into place and Seriim collapsed. The sphere no longer had any of the shadowstuff circuits surrounding it.

Seriim stood up a few moments later, still rather groggy. He put the artifact into his backpack without a second thought and then looked down at his hands: they were abnormally pale and sheathed in shadows which bled from his skin. Unknown to him, his eyes were completely black with a glowing yellow iris. It was then he noticed that he could see through the unnatural darkness with ease. A grin formed on his face, which was also bleeding shadows. Somehow, he knew that he was no longer a Ylian. He was something so much more (or less, depending on who you ask). To him, he was now powerful and to symbolize his new form and power, he adopted a new name:

“I am Vrael Shadowborne, First of the Darkness.”
« Last Edit: June 26, 2011, 01:16:45 am by Xifer »

Mrokii

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Re: Metamorphosis [Part I]
« Reply #4 on: June 22, 2011, 02:35:33 am »
At last some kind of darker story. Nice :) Though this may be very hard to actually RP. It sounds as if this guy has become something very powerful, but if he'd act on it, some may see it as godmodding. You should probably ask somebody in the settings-team, on IRC maybe.

Xifer

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Re: Metamorphosis [Part I]
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2011, 02:07:11 pm »
At last some kind of darker story. Nice :) Though this may be very hard to actually RP. It sounds as if this guy has become something very powerful, but if he'd act on it, some may see it as godmodding. You should probably ask somebody in the settings-team, on IRC maybe.

Unfortunately, that's what I thought as well D: I don't intend to godmod, but I can see how this character could EASILY be seen as one or be seen as godmodding whilst I play him, even if I'm not.

But, as to your advice, I should hit up the regular IRC channel for this (#planeshift)? Or is there a different IRC channel that I should go to?

Suno_Regin

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Re: Metamorphosis [Needs Advice]
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2011, 02:16:55 pm »
Xifer, you and I have exactly the same idea. Seriously. I mean, the methods are different, stories different (my story is unfinished and may go unfinished since I've known from the start the character shouldn't exist the way he is), but... we should talk a bit. I'm happy to see a darker story here as well.

Mrokii

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Re: Metamorphosis [Needs Advice]
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2011, 04:36:31 am »
@ Xifer: Unfortunately, I always forget the nick of the guy who is in charge with the settings, heh. I'd go to the regular irc-room and just ask there. Sooner or later (hopefully) will be able to guide you into the right direction.

Xifer

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Re: Metamorphosis [Needs Advice]
« Reply #8 on: June 23, 2011, 06:19:55 pm »
Xifer, you and I have exactly the same idea. Seriously. I mean, the methods are different, stories different (my story is unfinished and may go unfinished since I've known from the start the character shouldn't exist the way he is), but... we should talk a bit. I'm happy to see a darker story here as well.

I'd love to talk, especially since you've now got me curious on what your character is o.o xD But seriously, we should talk.

@Mrokii -- Thanks, I'll look into it