Holding her breath, she carefully leaned onto the handle of the knife. As before, it dug into the wood only a short way, as iXi's eyes focused on every detail of the cut. Steady and firm , the hands twisted the handle in the delicate, controlled movements. ... and it was done... a perfect circle... She slowly let out air from her lungs and leaned back to view her work. There on the tree, was a perfect circle and letters carved into the wood.
"No one will ever figure this one out.", she spoke out loud to herself in the little grove of trees with only the birds and an ulbernaut to hear.
She had intentionally chosen the strongest tree in the grove, so that it would last for generations to come, and she had used the initial of her middle name, so that none would figure it out. There it was, DR + DV in the center of a perfect circle. Each letter was perfectly carved and had taken all day long.
She pondered on the idea that in all the days to come, no one, other than herself, could ever know what this meant. ... but ... as she thought of it... something dawned in her mind... her eyes went blank as the idea took shape...
"OH MY Gawdz.... ", she spoke out loud, placing her hand over her forehead.
"Am I THAT stupid? ", She said to the air. " No one... will ever know.. but..... the GODS !"
Shaking her head, she got up and started pacing in a circle across the soft, lush, green grass. She glanced up at the birds of many colors, and even at the texture of the wood she had just carved. All the signs were there, she had not seen, and reflecting back on her life, she saw it. Putting her hands into the air, palms up, she started talking, as if to a friend.
" zeee ooh seee ah..... Xiosia .... ", she spoke into the air above her, " How have I not seen your hands at work here??? I saw, personally what you did with your sweet seductive ways ...of both you and your priestess..... to my old guardian. Ya changed him in an instant.... made him new in his heart... didn't Ya ? ... Oh, and now.... you are doing it to me.... yes... I see it now.... I see very well.
Do you really think that you can gain my dedication and my heart to you... with the love for a woman??? Don't even kid yourself, Goddess ....you know who I am! " , She defiantly shouted, but then, looking back at the perfect circle and the secretive letters, her heart ached in a sweet and joyful way. She quieted down and spoke in a humble tone into the air.
"THIS woman, though....oh, I will not deny the wisdom of putting her into my heart... I admit I can not run from this... and you know that, don't you!"
She sat down in the grass and felt the coolness of it, and observed the shimmer of the Lake of Tears. After some time of searching memories, she stood again and spoke in a very strong and determined voice.
"I, iXi Debonara Veno, declare to all the realms where life dwells, both physical and spirit... that as of this moment, I renounce ALL involvment with the Goddess Dakkru, and I denounce all of her ways, commands, wishes, and teachings... for they are void to me from this moment forward.".
Pausing a moment, wondering if some bolt of lightning might fall, or some storm wind would come, she waited until sure nothing but the birds chirping was all there was. She then continued.
"I recognize the path laid out to me, and I accept the journey... and so... I declare, as of this moment... that I will follow the teachings and the very nature of the heart of Xiosia, for the rest of my days. To spread love, and to be in my heart... as she calls me to be. I am no longer free, this of my own will.... but give my self to you, Xiosia.... "
She then came to her knees and bowed her head.
"My first prayer to you, Xiosia, is not for me.. but for your preistess... She is loved by so many, .... and that only makes sense as she radiates love... and I understand.. that some of that love is actually you... but, let's not ignore the person, I sure can't.... my prayer is this.... that you protect her... so many are drawn to her,... keep her from those of us who are not good for her... and I include myself if you so judge... though I wish... to one day share love ... I want nothing that will harm her, nor hurt her in any way. Search my mind and heart, judge me fairly... if one day, I am worthy, I ask that you open that door... but.... only if it is good for her ...
I place my heart in your hands... "
A tear fell upon her hand.
" ah.. and ... please forgive me for all the transgressions that I have committed in the past.. no matter how much I may have enjoyed them then...and bragged about them, and even laughed .... I confess them all to you. I am yours to do as you will."
The prayer ended in almost an hour of silence as she opened her mind and heart and listened.
A bird came and landed in front of her and began pecking into the grass. iXi looked at it and said," You know, little one... things were a whole lot simpler before I came here!"
