The Wristwatch of Doom: Episode 3
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(Recap: Group sets off, meets forest, Slam Bang-gee nearly gets eaten by a tree, even though trees don\'t do that sort of thing, Guy named Tommy-Joe Bobby-Dill jumps out of woods and saves Slam, and seeing that Tommy-Joe was gonna be an extremely annoying character, GrandAlf makes a preemtive strike and has the tree eat Tommy-Joe Bobby-Dill, Mistwalker asks what the watch does, GranAlf sidesteps the question like the best of politicians and says it\'s power is ineffable.)
The group travels east and south through the lands of sillyness, and tries to avoid the nine Black riders on small pink ponies.
GandAlf: We must find the house of Nimrond, where we may rest and decide who shall carry the Wristwatch of Power to the land of Boremore...
Mistwalker: Wasn\'t I supposed to do that?
GrandAlf: Very well, you shall carry it....
Mistwalker: No, wait, I do-
GrandAld: No! It is meant to be! You must do it now! The spirits have declared themselves through your voice!
Mistwalker: Aw crap. Well, whats at Nimronds?
GrandAlf: Lots of tasty cats..... and other things too.....
Mistwalker: Thats nice, we have to face some horendous peril just to get to a place that has cats for you to eat.
GrandAlf: Yes, thats about right. I\'m almost out of cats. And to get there, we must go beyond the Oderous Mountains.
Mistwalker: Sound like a good time. Lets get it over with.
They journey to the foothills of the Oderous Mountains, and are faced with a decision...
GrandAlf: We can either go over the pass, which won\'t work, because Sorehueman\'s influence is too strong, or we can go under the mountain.
Streaker: Who is Sorehueman?
GrandAlf: He was the leader of our order, until he turned to evil, and aided Sorehon. Actually, it should have been pretty damn obvious, considering their names are almost the same...
Mistwalker: Why don\'t we go south through the gap of Ramen?
Streaker: The inhabitants of the gap are not known to be friendly...
GrandAlf: They are skilled in the art of noodlemaking, and use their skills well in battle...
Mistwalker: No, not again, please dear god no...
GrandAlf: Yes, the Ramen Noodlers. Their intent is not clear. We must go under the mountain!
Gimpy: Yes, we will go under, through the mines of Moronia! And there we will meet my brother Flailin, the easily defeated in battle!
Mistwalker: Whatever, lets just go.
They journey through the mines of Moronia, and discover that Flailin, the easily defeated in battle, was defeated in battle, probably very easily.
They camp in one of the many smelly dank disgusting caverns of the sort that dwarves like, and Flippin decides to do something stupid.
Flippin: I think I\'ll drop this rock down this hole, and absolutely nothing will happen... (sound of rock bouncing off of walls)
GrandAlf: You fool! You know, your sort tastes a lot like cats!
The group hears snare drums.
GrandAlf: Here they come.....
Mistwalker: Here what come?
Streaker: The hoards of Sorehueman! The evil creatures that are as strong as dwarves and twice as smelly...
Boredtotears: Dorc\'s!
The door crashes to the ground, and hoards of dorc\'s rush in with cries of \"Uhh!\" and \"Dur, dur!\".
Streaker: (completely nude) Farhfignuegen!
GrandAlf: My Casa Su Casa!
Boredtotears: Sprechen Sie Deutsch!!
They rush into battle and kill the dorcs, somehow do not lose any of the party, even thought there are hundreds of dorcs to only nine in the party.
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Soon to come: The even worse thing that for some reason has never been discovered even though it is huge and made out of flame and smoke and is probably pretty goddam difficult to miss.
Stay tuned to this string!
