Santa Claus is not real.This might not come as a surprise to you unless you are a kid or a really naive adult, and you might ask why on earth I would make such a painfully obvious point. Is Rigwyn preaching to the choir? No. I assure you that there are many educated adults who would still believe in Santa Claus if someone wasn't kind enough to inform them of their err.
Don't believe me? Read on.
So how do we know that Santa Claus is not real? I mean, everyone talks about him and there are songs about him and his old lady and gosh darn it, if you don't believe in him, he won't shimmy his fat ass down your chimney and leave presents under your Christmas tree, right?
Isn't that reason enough to just believe and not question?Questioning things that we are told to just believe in takes all the magic out of the experience. It was intellect, a desire for knowledge, and civil disobedience that lead Adam and Eve to being cast out of paradise, was it not? Were these nude flesh-pets not right in challenging the authority of their master? We do believe that there was in fact, a naval free Adam and Eve - the very first humans ever to exist, don't we? ( I won't touch upon Adam's insatiable desires and his proclivity for animals that drove god to reluctantly make a woman for him... not today, at least )
As ridiculous as the stories of our favorite religions and of Santa Claus may sound, we are taught not to discredit these stories based on our judgment alone, but instead of repress our skepticism and disbelief and to instead "have faith" and just believe because that's what good people do. This my friend, is the path of ignorance. I call it ignorance because it involves ignoring what is painfully obvious. It leads people down a scary path of doubting their ability to discern truth from fiction with their own mental facilities and into creating all sorts of wacky, convoluted logic to justify their erroneous beliefs.
So how does one go about determining what is true, and what is false? And does it really matter if we know truth from fiction, or is it alright to just play it safe and be ignorant about it? I mean, what harm can it do to remain ignorant, right? If you doubt and you are wrong about it, then you will burn in hell for eternity and when you cry out to god for so much as a drop of water to quench your tongue, he will turn his back on you.
We cannot prove that there is no Santa Claus because we cannot see him or detect him in any way. If we could, then we could prove that he exists, right? I mean see him ... not like when you see him in the mall burping up liquor while collecting money for the poor, but like seeing him at the north pole in real snow with a real beard and deer in his front yard with nothing to eat but feces and yellow snow. Surely, if we saw a man in red with a real beard and deer and midgets all dressed in green with stripy socks and curly tipped shoes, we would have our answer. Santa Claus would be real, right?
Not so fast.
Part two of the question is, even if we prove that Santa Claus is indeed real, are the stories about him real too or are they horribly embellished? Has this poor ( and I mean poverty-stricken-poor ) man who lives all alone at the north pole ( which is a desert, technically ) with nothing to eat or drink ( aside from his starving deer, imaginary elves and yellow snow ) been made out to be some sort of immortal hero who does fantastic, unbelievable things so that children have something to cheer about, and parents have a way to extort their kids into being obedient little Lemmings? When's the last time you heard a parent tell their child, "You've been really good and docile, Eugene. I'm going to tell Santa."
Sadly, we cannot validate these stories. They sound wonderful and magical if you just ignore the fact that they are flat out impossible. They are candy for the minds of idiots, and a reason to face palm for those who know truth from fiction.
Do YOU believe in a form of Santa Claus?