Just thought I'd share this RP from September 28th, 2011. All times are in EDT. I have edited out the spelling and grammatical errors (99.99% of which are mine).
[Scene: just outside Kada-El's at the corner of the buildings heading towards the steps. Miomai enters from the stairs.]
(21:37:54) Miomai approaches carrying a stack of books cradled in her left arm, "Hello Teshia." she says, and there is some sadness in her voice and her eyes.
(21:38:33) Teshia blinks once, frowning softly and hastily hiding her confusion at being addressed by her name "Miomai... are you alright?"
(21:40:30) Teshia says: [wb!] {{Mariana just logged back in from a crash at this point.}}
(21:40:44) Miomai rolls her eyes and sighs, "Oh, not you too?" she says with a bit of concern. "I wish someone would explain to me why they think I have some kind of a problem. I'm the same Miomai that I have always been."
(21:41:26) Miomai is carrying a stack of books in her left arm.
(21:41:35) Teshia forces a bit of a smile and replies smoothly "then it's good there's nothing wrong."
(21:44:08) Miomai turns to the fenki, "Mariana, when you have some time, I'd like a few words with you." she smiles briefly, and forced. "I'll just be in the tavern. I do hope you can join me. I understand how busy guild-life can be. You ARE still in the guild? I don't even know any more." she forces a chuckle and then walks off towards Kada-El's.
(21:44:08) Mariana draws a shaky breath, her emotions seeming to seep out of her as she slowly and carefully draws them back in again. A film of tears is over her eyes, strangely, but she blinks them away stubbornly before any can actually accumulate enough to fall. "Good," she says simply. She turns towards the tavern without another word.
(21:48:28) Mariana moves into the seat across from Miomai. She watches the fenki, but smiles at her, simply because that is what she is used to. She moves as if to flick the clamod's ear and stops, settling her paw back by her side, uncertain. Her words seem to have bothered her greatly, so she merely sits in silence.
(21:50:28) Miomai carefully stacks her books on the table, giving them the extreme care and respect that they deserve. She looks up after this task and notices Mariana's black eye. She frowns, and inwardly wishes she could do something to help.
(21:51:26) Miomai says: "Would you like some cider? I hear it is fresh." she says and before Mariana can answer, she retrieves the mug of cider she had already purchased and sets it down in front of Mariana.
(21:52:05) Mariana blinks her good eye and looks down curiously towards the pile of books. She looks back up at her crazy twin, but instead of speaking to her in a motherly way as she usually does, she addresses her as an adult. She smiles warmly at her and nods her head. "Thank you," she says, and takes the cider between her paws. "Was there something I could help you with, my friend?"
(21:57:30) Miomai pulls out a fine mahogany case, and opens it. She pulls out a pair of glasses and perches them on the end of her nose, wrapping the stems around her ears. She avoids the question and starts off with smalltalk, "You know, I just don't know why I never went to the library before. What a treasure trove of literature he has there. Quite a fine collection." She pats the books in front of her as if they were a best friend. "This one in particular," she continues, selecting "The Forlorn Fenki," "Really touches a spot in my heart." her voice cracks. "Do you mind if I read you a passage?"
(21:59:12) Mariana's eyes widen a hair as Miomai speaks. She opens her mouth, then shuts it again, totally and completely baffled and bewildered. But she recovers quickly and covers the dumbfounded expression with a smile. "Certainly, please do, I'd love to hear it," She replies.
(22:05:22) Miomai smiles pleasantly at Mariana and opens the book, she flips to a page that she has bookmarked, and scans down it with her index finger until she finds the part she wants to read. Miomai clears her throat and begins. "Shayle looked out across the pool of stealth, trying to find an answer in that beautiful scene. But nothing would come. Nothing would stop her heart from feeling like it was in a rack, being torn in two. Half of it was owned by the menki she loved, and the other half was in her chest, pounding out of control..." she pauses for a few seconds and takes her ungloved paw to wipe a tear from her eye. The saddened fenki continues, "She brok down and cried then, her emotions got the better of her, and as if in answer, the dome rained down on her." The clamod does not look up at Mariana then, but pulls a neatly folded purple square of cloth from her pack and blows her nose into it. In doing so she makes two notes as if she's playing her nose like a horn.
(22:09:18) Mariana listens to Miomai as she reads, ears flicking towards the words, thinking over them. Her expression grows sadder and more forlorn, perhaps because she herself can relate to the words, but mostly because she can see they are causing so much pain for Miomai. She opens her mouth and stretches a paw out towards her friend, as if to rest it lightly upon her forearm, and speaks softly. "Are...you in love with someone, Miomai?" She asks gently, offering a soft tentative smile. "And you...cannot figure out if that love is...reciprocated?"
(22:14:55) Icerra says: eep!
(22:15:07) Miomai breaths deeply and looks Mariana in the eyes to give her the best view of her honest answer, "Yes I am Mariana. I've liked Kelan for a while now, but I'm pretty sure he does not like me." she fights the urge to look away, wanting to keep her eyes on her close friend, to pull her sympathy into herself and strengthen her nerves, "He keeps hurting me..." she stops suddenly as Icerra enters the tavern.
(22:15:59) Icerra says: Look OUT MARIANA!!!
(22:16:19) Icerra says: that ain't Miomai!
(22:18:13) Mariana blinks and turns her head towards Icerra. She frowns slightly. "She is different, Icerra..." She mutters under her breath inaudibly, "Incredibly different," but adds out loud, "She's still Miomai. She's just...experienced a sort of...change," she continues, brow slightly furrowed as she turns back to face the clamod. "I'm sorry," she says in response to her words. "Have you tried telling him how you feel?"
(22:19:08) Icerra stands with her jaw hanging open in disbelief
(22:19:28) Icerra walks out of the tavern in stunned silence
(22:20:01) Icerra shouts: Has the WHOLE WORLD gone MAD!?!?!?!
(22:20:23) Mariana mutters under her breath, "Yup."
(22:21:08) Miomai closes the book, removes her glasses, and puts them into her mahogany case. She stuffs the case into her pack. The calm clamod stacks "The Forlorn Fennki" on top of the other books and slides them to the corner of the table. She folds her paws on the table and looks at Mariana, half expecting her to run off screaming and joining Icerra in some kind of bizarre ritual to curse her. When that doesn't happen, she smiles and looks directly at Icerra for a moment before responding, watching the kor leave the tavern. She then returns her attention to Mariana, and nods slowly, "I have, several times, and he claims that he doesn't believe me."
(22:25:34) >Herihi Kerihi greets Mariana Xiechai.
(22:25:39) >Herihi Kerihi greets Miomai Lashing.
(22:26:02) Mariana dips her head, nodding, and thinks for a moment. "Perhaps you could...hm...What's he like? Or, even, what does he like? What are his interests? If he doesn't believe your words...well, they say that actions speak louder, you know? Try to prove that you have...feelings for this person." She folds a paw under her chin, thinking, accentuated by the tell-tale crinkling of her eyes. She flicks those eyes to the side and gives Herihi nod of greeting.
(22:27:01) Miomai smiles and nods at Herihi, and then returns her attention to Mariana...
(22:28:22) >Herihi Kerihi greets Rhille Mihora.
(22:31:02) Miomai says: "I thought you might say that, and you're not the first to suggest that I do something. The thing is, I'm not sure if I should put in the effort if he's actively causing me grief." she says with such incredible logic that its no wonder anyone suspects this to be an imposter. "I shall think about this some more, thank you for your ideas, my friend. I do have an 'issue' I would like your assistance with."
(22:31:39) Kolela frowns at the two fenki for a moment.
(22:31:41) Kolela says: You!
(22:31:54) Kolela points her rolling pin at the clamod.
(22:32:16) Kolela says: You!
(22:32:20) Mariana opens her mouth to respond to Miomai. She turns her head and peers at Kolela, a fair bit of annoyance in her face. "Excuse me, we're having a conversation, can the baking wait for a moment?"
(22:32:22) Kolela says: Have you groomed any rivnak today?
(22:32:34) Kolela scowls
(22:32:37) Kolela says: Well!?
(22:33:05) Kolela seems not to have heard Mariana
(22:33:15) Miomai looks over at Kolela, and keeps calm. "No, miss Kolela, I have not. And please, watch where you are pointing that rolling pin."
(22:33:25) Kolela says: Then you are of no use to me.
(22:34:08) Miomai shrugs and returns her attention to Mariana, "That was random."
(22:34:29) Mariana sighs heavily and leans back in her chair, turning her attention to Miomai and ignoring the rude nolthrir. "Sorry," she says, arching a brow. She watches Miomai's every movement and expression, and it is clear that while on the outside she's keeping her cool, inside, she's still puzzling over her and still does not quite trust this change. "She's a unique person," she supplies simply. "Now...you were saying you needed assistance on another matter?"
(22:38:43) Miomai raises one brow, "You don't have to apologize for someone else's behavior. Particularly one who is not your offspring. She's not, is she?" Says the clamod and chuckles at the small joke. Returning to the subject, she says, "Yes, I have lost something which I must get back. One second." she pulls out a pen, bottle of ink, and a piece of parchment, "You can never be too careful around here. The ears have walls," she says dyslexically. Miomai writes a short message and hands it to Mariana to read.
(22:40:54) [Tell] Miomai's handwriting has clearly improved in recent days. The note says, "Please assist me with the retrieval of an axe that is currently in the possession of Icerra."
(22:41:52) Mariana nods and takes the message between her paws, her eyes perusing the writing quickly, arching a brow as she does so. She peers back up at Miomai slowly, and manages to hide the suspicion that creeps into her head behind a cordial expression. Flipping the parchment over, she scribbles a response upon it, rapidly, and then slides it back towards the clamod across the table.
(22:42:02) [Tell] Mariana tells you: "What do you need this axe for?"
(22:45:38) Miomai reads the response quickly and looks back up at Mariana, trying to read her, and calculating how she will answer. She folds the note slowly, as if buying herself time, or raising the level of suspense. "It was a gift, Mariana. A gift from the Goddess Dakkru Herself. And, so I hope you can understand that I would like this gift back." she smiles again, hoping that will help to win Mariana's assistance.
(22:47:51) Mariana keeps her expression carefully neutral, thinking. "I see," she says, simply. She seems to contemplate for a moment, considering. "Miomai, I'd like complete honesty. What is it you wish to do with this axe? I remember you...mentioned it once before, lost it once before. Will you tell me why it is so imporant....independant of the fact that it was a...uh, gift from Dakkru?"
(22:49:38) Kolela says: Jeferca! My rivnak has been rustled! I demand action!
(22:49:59) Kolela says: You'd better find the culprits before I do!!
(22:50:14) Kolela says: I'll string them up by their toenails!!
(22:50:28) Kolela says: I'll roll them into a roltok!
(22:52:52) Kolela says: Thorian!
(22:53:47) Kolela laughs maniacally. 'That will do nicely'
(22:55:12) Miomai looks down at her paws, back to being neatly folded on the table, for a long time. She ignores Kolela's raving outside, "I see how it is. I'm sorry to have brought it up." she says. Miomai pulls the books closer to her, slides the chair back and hefts the stack into her left arm. "I guess this is where we part ways, Mariana. I'd like to tell you everything, but I know you well, and you would not understand. You could not understand. I'm convinced it is beyond your capacity. So..." she blinks her eyes a few times, "H-have a nice life Mariana, " and then turns to leave the tavern.
(22:55:17) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(22:55:19) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(22:55:22) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(22:55:24) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(22:55:26) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(22:55:29) >Miomai Lashing stands up.
(22:57:21) Mariana turns her head towards Miomai, her brow furrowing. "Now, wait," she says. "That's...not fair, Miomai, you know it's not. You can't just expect to cut our friendship like that. It's not..." She shifts, fidgets, clearly disturbed by this display. "You can't do that. Why won't you just tell me? What is it...Dakkru asked you to kill someone?"
(23:02:41) Miomai shudders on Mariana's last statement, thinking perhaps she's been found out, but attempts to hide it, "No, no, it's nothing like that." she says boldly, while looking right at Mariana, "But I'm sure you would not approve, and, if our history together is any indication, you would even try to prevent me from doing what I must." she shakes her head, "Tell me, Mariana, can you fathom the possibility of a Goddess coming to you with a task, and entrusting you to it? Would you do it? Would you even trust your own senses? Or would you just deny the whole thing as some ludicrous figment of your imagination?"
(23:05:17) Mariana squints for a moment, and she contemplates her response hard before she voices it. "I imagine it would not matter," she says quietly. "Miomai, I never told you anything about my past....nothing, because it seemed the correct decision. But, let's just say it's not one that encouraged belief in the gods. And, I believe, that if they approached me and asked something of me that compromised my own morals and scruples...I would refuse." She looks Miomai flat in the eye, levelly, and lets her gaze lock with hers. "Now, you tell me Miomai. Does this favor that Dakkru has asked of you compromise you? Does it change the progress you've made, will you regress into what you were before? Is it truly...truly worth it?"
(23:14:17) Miomai says: "The correct decision? To keep your past a secret from your friend? I regard you as my closest friend, nay, my only friend. I have no others, save Dakkru. I have not kept my past a secret." Miomai pauses and smiles, more because she knew how Mariana would react, "And just as I suspected, you simply can't comprehend it. It's like a world beyond the dome. It's completely beyond your ability to grasp. It's simple to state: You do not question the commandment of a Goddess. How dare you even think of it. But I forgive you, Mariana. I know you are an atheist, and I accept that in you. Unfortunately, I can tell, you do not accept my faith, and my devout worship of Dakkru." Momai runs her thumb along the spine of one of the books cradled in her arm, "It is worth it Mariana, because Dakkru wishes it."
(23:16:44) Mariana closes her eyes, sighing softly. She opens them again and gestures towards the chair across from her, a decision seeming to snap into place, a way to perhaps sway the stubborn and stoic fenki away from this erring path. "Let me tell you why," she says softly, her expression somewhat pleading. "Let me share with you so that you understand why. Don't throw who you are away blindly, my friend. I cherish you as my own sister. I do not wish to see you hurt in this, and I do not wish you to lose the progress that you have fought so hard to gain. Please. Just hear me out, even if you do not believe my words..." She smiles gently. "Let me at least show you that I trust you."
(23:21:27) Miomai hesitates for a moment, and then places her stack of books back down on the table, "I will grant you this, you deserve it, but your words still run against the grain. At least I will understand your position. And maybe you can learn to understand mine." The determined clamod sits down once again and folds her paws neatly. She examines Mariana intently, her eyes drifting over that swollen eye, wondering what further trouble she had gotten into, and thinking about her own troubles. There 's a distance between the two fenki, one that she's sceptical will ever be bridged.
(23:21:52) >Miomai Lashing takes a seat.
(23:22:06) >Miomai Lashing dropped a book.
(23:22:16) >Miomai Lashing dropped a book.
(23:22:34) >Miomai Lashing dropped a book.
(23:22:41) >Miomai Lashing dropped a book.
(23:22:56) >Miomai Lashing dropped a book.
(23:24:21) Mariana reaches into her travelsack. She pulls a book out of it, one worn and stained from years of use, the pages poking out sporadically from the sides and the binding slowly beginning to come undone. She slides it towards Miomai and opens it to the very beginning, indicating several passages, pointing with the tip of a clawed finger. "This is my history, or at least the most concrete telling I have of it," she explains. "Please, only read until the first current entry....the rest is not relevant to what I must tell you." With that, she sits back, and waits.
(23:25:31) >Mariana Xiechai dropped a book.
(23:28:10) Miomai looks at Mariana curiously, and with surprise that she would open up to her. She takes the book in her paws and brings it close to her, then holds it far out, to get the words into focus. The far-sighted fenki gives up and pulls out her glasses and places them back on her head. She smiles wryly at Mariana and picks up the book again to read the requested passage.
(23:31:41) Mariana simply waits, her paws interlocked, letting her thumbs rove one over the other in a consistent pattern. She looks over Miomai's shoulder at the wall, her expression blank to all but the most observant watcher, and to those with the eyes to see it, there are subtle hints of terrible shame: her shoulders slightly sagged, the ears on either side of her head drooping the barest bit, and her eyes glittering with bereft and empty, hollow chagrin. She does not look at Miomai as the clamod reads.
(23:35:53) Miomai reads the words, and incredulity creeps into her mind. She looks up at Mariana once, twice, shocked that these are her own words, and saddened that her close friend should have to endure such torture. She finishes reading when she gets to the end of the bark-like pages. Miomai neatens the loose pages in the book and closes it with great care before handing it back to Mariana saying, "I had no idea you where abused in this manner as a child. I-I'm sorry you had to endure that. " she thinks of more words to say, or something else she could do, but nothing comes for a while, "Thank you for your trust in me with such personal anguish."
(23:36:37) >Mariana Xiechai picked up a book
(23:40:28) Mariana takes the book and slides it back into her travelsack. She closes the clasp and is silent for a few moments, and when she speaks, her voice is somewhat hoarse. The usually closed up and strong fenki is letting her wall slip ever so slightly, and she peers back at Miomai. "I escaped," she says softly. "Years of it, and I set myself free. I do not say this to brag, because it came at a great cost, and in the end, was ultimately a selfish act that hurt those I loved." She pauses and takes a deep breath before continuing. "But there is something you must know. In the end, the fates and the gods will never decide where your path lay. No matter how much you blame them. Any bitterness. Any act. Any decision. Any high or low truly boils down to what you will do. What will you decide. Will you let yourself waver in darkness, or will you fight it?" She fixes Miomai with a bold stare. "We've more in common then you could ever realize, Miomai. We are products of what we have overcome. Of what we are still overcoming. And, as your friend, as your sister in spirit, I urge you to think hard. Think hard and long about the decision you must make here. It will change you, and when you stand at that crux as I did, it is you, not the gods, who will ultimately decide your fate."
(23:51:26) Miomai takes her glasses off of her face again and folds them, placing them, stem down onto the table. As she contemplates Mariana's words, she let's a meager bit of Red Way to flick off of her paw to warm Mariana's forgotten mug of cider. "Infinity. Do you understand the idea of infinity? Dakkru is infinite, Mariana. We are mere mortals, we have a birth and an eventual death. She has always existed, and will always exist. The world around us," she waves her paw to motion towards everything in the tavern, and beyond. "Is tiny. The tiniest dust speck that exists for the merest fraction of a second, the slightest blink of an eye. She knows all, sees all. You can't even begin to plunge the depths of Her knowledge and ability. From that perspective, can you truly be certain, beyond the shadow of all doubt that the Goddess doesn't hold any control whatsoever on you? How do you know that She didn't put your will to escape into you, and covered it up to make you think you thought of it all on your own? You couldn't even tell the difference between your own will and that of the Goddess's in such a scenario." Miomai swallows, and licks her parched lips. She folds her paws and listens patiently to Mariana.
(23:53:08) >Hirene Penifur greets Acunair Bayesares.
(23:56:54) Mariana tilts her chin up slightly at Miomai as she speaks. There is a certain defiance in her eyes, a glimmer, and spark. Her lips curl into a smile, slowly, an expression that seems to spring from this valorous sort of rebellion. "No," she says simply, and the statement is firm. "I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt I control my own actions, my own destiny. No god has had a hand in it, and if they have tried, I've shrugged it off. Because you see, no matter how finite we may be to all of their infinite wisdom, we have the will to choose. If it were forced, I would fight it, fight it until the bitter end, because that is simply who I am. I can tell you now that Dakkru has never had a hand in anything that I have done. My decisions, my mistakes, my successes and my failures are upon my own shoulders, and my own shoulders alone. It is not that I do not believe in the gods. I'm sure they are there. But they do not touch me directly. They never have, and they never shall." Her eyes shift away, and back again, and she admonishes: "I do not feel the need to bend the knee to immortals with power, yet they do nothing for the beggars in the street. The orphans. The abused and the neglected. The widow. Who saves them? Us. People. Sure, often they say that it is the 'act of the gods' that these people do what they do...but," She smiles faintly. "No. I do not believe it. It is the goodness within them that spurs these actions. They are capable of the deepest sin and the most wonderful redemption. The gods simply watch."
(00:05:45) Miomai says: "And that is where we differ, my friend. You can't believe that the Goddess has any influence in our puny lives, and I believe the opposite. We can sit here and debate this all night, but we both know that neither of us will ever prove the other wrong. Our beliefs are just different. And that is why I got up to leave." she does so again, and gathers her books. "I have already made my decision. And now I must act on it. If that brings me utter ruin, at least I know in my heart that I am following my faith. We must part ways, Mariana, for I fear that if we remain friends, one or both of us will be hurt even more than if we just go our separate ways." she pauses once more, "Unless you can come up with some way to resolve our differences. I have thought about it myself, but I am as stubborn as you, I'm afraid." The clamod stands at the threshold, "Good night, my friend."
(00:05:52) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(00:05:54) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(00:05:57) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(00:06:00) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(00:06:01) >Miomai Lashing picked up a book
(00:06:03) >Miomai Lashing stands up.
(00:06:59) Mariana says nothing for the moment, but it's clear from her expression this is not over, at least for her.
