Tales of the young Whitti:
A humorous Short Story/ Play
By Kendrick
--In the classroom-- Whitti, the Student: Mr. Njadro, may I have permission to have a bowel movement?
Mr. Ninkwi Njadro: Whitti! Raise your hand!
*Whitti raises his hand*
Whitti: May I now?
Ninkwi: NO!
Whitti: You don\'t own me!
Ninkwi: HAHA, wrong! While your at school, I control everything, when you drink, talk, think, eat, your actions, and when and where you go to the bathroom.
Whitti: Says who?
Ninkwi: it\'s not important. What IS important is that I own you.
Whitti: You lie!
*Whitti storms off outside*
Dumb Wood, the Class Dunce: HAHAHA! Whitti defied the system!
Ninkwi: Get back here slave!
*Ninkwi runs after Whitti*
Whitti: RARR RARR RAAAAA!
*Whitti attacks Ninkwi*
Ninkwi: My face! my beautiful faceeee!
Whitti: Take that!
*Whitti kills Ninkwi, and lives happily for 10 years until....*
--A Stoning--
*... Whitti enters the crowd and tries to see what is going on*
Bill, the dwarf: Go away whitti, your blocking Kada\'s bar!
Whitti: Damn dwarf! Is that all you do! Drink?
Bill: I also talk loud...
*Bill walks off*
*Whitti trips Bill, and disappears back into the crowd*
Whitti: Whats going on?
Antonio, the town mime: *Throws imaginary stone, and imaginaryly gets hits by it*
Whitti: huh?
Antonio: *Repeats actions*
Whitti: A stoning! Yippies! *sings* Happy, Happy, joy joy! *sings*
*Whitti jumps for joy*
Whitti: Whose the victim?
Antonio: *Pretends he\'s short, and spells a name in the dirt*
*Dirt says \"Kyalin\"*
Whitti: Are you aloud to write?
Antonio: *writes in dirt*
*Dirt reads \"Of course, stupid\"*
*Whitti slaps Antonio*
Whitti: Begone!
*Whitti jumps in front of the crowd to get a good view*
Thekkur, The Executioner: Don\'t Throw \'til I say!
Kyalin, The Law Breaker: I\'m innocent!
Whitti: What did you do?
Kyalin: I committed a human sacrifice!
Whitti: You bastard!
Kyalin: Laanx is a Shim!
Whitti: A what!?
Kyalin: A Shim, A She\\Him!
Whitti: You! I\'ll kill you!
*Whitti throws stone and hits Kyalin in the eye*
Kyalin: ouch, my eye!
Thekkur: I said don\'t throw \'til I say!!!
Whitti: So?
Dumb Woob: Defy!
Thekkur: So your Defying me? You deserve punishment! off to jail with ya!
*Thekkur grabs whitti and starts off to the jail*
Thekkur: Whoops forgot something...
*Thekkur looks back and yells \"Go!!\" and thousands of stones fly towards Kyalin*
--In the Jail--
Thekkur: You can rot in here!
*Thekkur throws whitti into a cell with 2 other people*
*Thekkur walks away*
Kendrick, the Magician: Hello there, Dermorian
Binarius, the Xacha: is Thekkur gone?
*Binarius goes under the bed
Whitti: Hi, my names whitti!
Binarius: Will you two shut up! I\'m digging here!
*Binarius returns to his hole under a bed*
Whitti: whats he doing?
Kendrick: Whats it look like?
Whitti: looks like he\'s digging a outhouse
Kendrick: *frowns* no, he\'s bustn\' us outta here!
Whitti: great!
Binaruis: Shuttup! I\'m almost there!
Kendrick: Does your digging require complete silence, Bin?
Binaruis: *thinks for a second* Why yes, infact it does!
*Kendrick laughs*
*Binaruis sees the light outside*
Binaruis: Done!! Come on hurry! Lets go!
*They all climb into the hole and exit the jail*
Kendrick: ok, off to settle the score?
Binarius: Of course
Whitti: What score?
Kendrick: Those damn \"Royal Rumbers\" framed us, and paid thekkur to put us in jail, and killed my step brother, I hated that kid, but thats not the point!
Binaruis: and they trashed the bar!
Kendrick: yes, that too... So we are going to kill them!
Whitti: ohh...
Kendrick: and your coming with us!
Whitti: what for?
Kendrick: you can be our archer! Hand \'im a bow and a few arrows bin.
*binaruis pulls out the tools from his bag, and give them to Whitti*
Whitti: thanks
Kendrick: Test it by shooting that guys apple
*Whitti tests the bow by shooting the apple*
Kendrick: wow your good
Whitti: heh. I\'ve never done it before.
Kendrick: HA!
*The three walk off*
--The Wrong Castle--
Kendrick: shhh, it might here you
Whitti: It?
Kendrick: the cat-like beast
Binaruis: It ate my mother, and she was a huge woman!
Kendrick: shh, I think I see it, it\'s that red blob over there, see it?
Binaruis & Whitti: uh huh
Whitti: it\'s not very cat-like
*Kendrick casts a freezing spell on the cat*
Kendrick: quick! shoot it!
*whitti shoots, and kills it*
Kendrick: now storm the castle!
*The three break down the door and enter the castle, then they kill everyone inside*
Kendrick: Victory is ours!
*Whitti looks at the name of the castle*
Whitti: what the name of the guild?
Kendrick: Royal Rumbers!
Whitti: AHHH! Then why does the sign say \"Abyss Knights\"?!
Kendrick: whoops
Binaruis: Crap! umm write \"Rumbers were here\" on the wall!
Kendrick: Good idea
*Kendrick writes on the wall*
Whitti: That fixes that
Kendrick: yup, now everyone will want to kill the Rumbers! ahah!
Binaruis: ahaha!
Whitti: hehehe
Kendrick: well good bye Whitti, good luck with life.
*Kendrick and Binaruis walk away*
*Whitti walks back into the town*
--The Bar--
Kada-el: Welcome to Kada-el\'s bar! What\'ca drink?
Whitti: that dark stuff
Kada-el: may I see some ID?
Whitti: ID?
Kada-el: I can\'t sell you beer unless your over 21
Whitti: I\'ve bought here before
Kada-el: New Polossy
Whitti: A what?
Bill: Whitti! you bloat! get out of here! I?ll kill you!
*Bill attacks Whitti*
Kada-el: Outside!
*Enter Bigfoot*
Bigfoot: Beer... now
Kada: here ya go *throws bigfoot and bigfoot sized beer*
*Whitti and bill go outside*
Bill: *burp* time to feel the pain!
Whitti: HA
*Whitti shoots bill with a arrow*
Bill: Oh! I\'ve got an arrow in me!
*Whitti shoots another*
Bill: Stop! that really hurts!
*Whitti shoots another*
*Bill passes out*
Whitti: oh no.
*Whitti brings Bill into the bar and lies him on the table*
Whitti: what do I do?!
Lenric, the Person: what did you do?
Whitti: I shot him.. a few times
Lenric: Let me see..
*Lenric looks over bill, the knocked out*
Lenric: ahh he\'ll be fine, it happens all the time
Whitti: really? how?
Lenric: Ohh he normally gets into at least 17 fights a night. He\'s developed and immunity to arrows*
*arrows pop out of bills arms*
Bill: *burp*
*Whitti runs away*
-- And so ends Whitti\'s young adventure, Tune in for the next biweekly newsletter when we\'ll hear about the advantages of indoor plumbing over outdoor, and the Do\'s and Don?ts of selling wigs... This is Kendrick, saying Good Bye--
--Awarded whitti prize for Humor--
