PlaneShift
Fan Area => Roleplaying (Communitive Storywriting) => Poetry, Comedy, and other. => Topic started by: Draklar on September 17, 2005, 11:10:46 am
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Before reading this, read the first part (http://hydlaa.com/smf/index.php?topic=18899.0).
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/karyuu/planetrix-reloaded.gif)
Chapter I
\"They are almost here...\" Draklar took a look around the endless plains away from Hydlaa\'s walls.
\"Drak, I\'m not sure if I want to be part of this sh*t.\" Link sat down and started digging a hole with his finger.
\"What the..?\"
\"Who cares about Planeshift? The devs are just half-witted imbeciles. I say screw them.\"
\"Listen, Link.\" Draklar turned to him. \"I don\'t know why the hell you weren\'t banned from the Planetrix. I don\'t know why the hell someone got you out of there. I don\'t know why the hell you were allowed into the role-players\' area... And most of all, I don\'t know why the hell Kada asked me to accept you into the group!\"
\"In other words you don\'t know crap.\"
\"No, in other words... Either you shut your god-damn mouth or I shall close you in a very, very small box together with Seperot and Savion... And then enjoy the show.\"
\"Pfft, nooblets.\"
\"So we have a deal?\"
\"Screw you...\" Said Link. \"Screw you with a metal pole.\"
\"Did we interrupt something?\" Asked Karyuu once she and Unitearica approached the two.
\"Yes,\" Answered Link. \"Draklar was telling me a story.\"
\"Of?\" Unitearica joined the conversation.
\"Of three little maggots.\" Answered Draklar.
\"Sounds good.\" Unitearica crossed his arms. \"Care to start over?\"
\"Care to shut up?\"
\"Whoa... You might change your skin, but you sure didn\'t change your temper...\" The Ylian cocked an eyebrow. \"Wait, wait... Weren\'t you a Dermorian?\"
\"Maybe so, what is your point?\"
\"Nothing, just that... You\'re an Enkidukai now...\"
\"So I am... Maybe I have had it enough with that fairy female looking model...\"
\"Hmm...\" Unitearica rubbed his chin. \"Not only you grew some fur, but also your way of speaking changed...\"
\"Aye... Apparently I have much less charisma now... No way of talking like that anymore...\"
\"Heh... That puts me at ease.\"
\"Also, I seem to have lost a crapload of intelligence...\"
Unitearica winced. \"Alright, now -that- makes me a tidy bit worried...\"
\"So...\" Karyuu spoke once again. \"Are everyone ready in there?\"
\"Aye.\" Answered Draklar. \"We are already late.\"
\"The news on the changelog articulate it understandably.\" Said Ayshe to all the players gathered in one of the tavern rooms. \"The developers are implementing a passageway that will proceed straightaway from Hydlaa to the ojapath sector.\"
\"They are avoiding the gate...\" Spoke Hevrah. \"Our primary defense.\"
\"How fast are they implementing it?\" Asked Bora.
\"Tardily, as always.\" Ayshe crossed her arms. \"But they will refine it soon enough.\"
\"How far are they in the development?\" Dagger winced slightly.
\"They\'re in the final touches phase.\"
\"Crap!\" Uttered Enraged.
\"It can\'t be accurate.\" Hevrah shook his head. \"Maybe they\'re just faking it.\"
\"It may be...\" Ayshe shrugged her arms.
\"That\'s not possible.\"
\"But that means we have just few days...\" Added Bora.
Ayshe nodded. \"That\'s right.\"
\"It can\'t be!\" Enraged shook his head.
\"Why not?\" Draklar and the rest of the group entered the room. \"Every monster spawning point already has three campers not walking away from it even for one second. The developers are running out of space where they could put new ones. Ojaveda has lots of free space... It also has few trainers that no one from the outside can reach in any way. They need to find a way inside.\"
\"Draklar.\" Ayshe turned to the newcomer. \"Gladsome you could league together with us.\"
\"Ayshe...\" Draklar nodded. \"I\'m sorry for being late. But as you all know, we no longer can stay in the Death Realm... The birdies are now staying there, removing all rebels that enter the sector. We had to find a new operations point.\"
\"They\'re being a pain in the ass...\" Muttered Enraged.
\"If Ayshe is right,\" Continued Bora. \"The next few days will be even worse.\"
\"What will we do about it?\" Hevrah turned to Ayshe.
\"We intend to extemporize what the oldbies require us to effectuate. We intend to evacuate all nonconformist accumulations conglomerated around Hydlaa and repatriate to Ojaveda.\"
\"And I am sure the oldbies have any decent plan of stopping hundreds of power-levelers that will soon storm the city.\" Draklar smirked slightly.
\"No, but the strategy is nevertheless being formulated.\"
\"What are the chances that Aendar shan\'t order everyone to sit in one place, praying to him for salvation?\"
\"He might ascertain from his own misapprehensions...\"
\"He didn\'t last three times he tried that...\"
\"It is enunciated that Annah shall conduct the preparations of defense anyway.\"
\"That doesn\'t make things sound better, now does it?\"
Suddenly Unitearica turned towards the door.
\"What is it?\" Asked Karyuu.
\"I don\'t know...\" He walked outside.
\"...Now whether you people believe it or not,\" Draklar continued. \"We are reaching the end of our struggles. For I, the greatest, have found the one!\"
\"Here we go again...\" Enraged rolled his eyes.
\"That\'s right! Me! And not any of you... I think that should say something about my supremacy...\" Draklar hemed. \"Now to get back to the case. I believe one of the groups should stay near the Hydlaa to try and contact Grono. The prophecy is being fullfilled, but it shan\'t find its conclusion if we lose contact with her.\"
\"You ask us to disobey oldbies\' orders.\" Hevrah crossed his arms.
Draklar turned to him. \"Who cares about what they have to say anyway? Group can go to Ojaveda and after few hours return to the operation area, long before devs finish their feature.\"
\"Fine, we will stay.\" Said Bora.
\"Nay.\" Draklar shook his head. \"This mission requires someone of great competence. And there is only one person that has it...\"
\"You...\" Ayshe cocked an eyebrow.
\"Me.\" Draklar took a look around.
\"Damn you, Drak.\" Enraged shook his head. \"If you get killed on your mission... I\'m sure it\'ll be the best for the rest of us.\"
Draklar smirked. \"So it is settled.\"
Suddenly someone approached the doors of the tavern. \"Im looking for Uni\'o...\" He spoke.
\"Never heard of him.\" Answered Tybalt.
\"I haves something for h--\" Before the person could finish, Tybalt started touching his face. \"What the...\"
\"I need to get to know what is your face like...\"
\"Well, are you blind?!\" The person pushed him away.
\"Yes... Yes I am...\" Answered Tybalt.
\"Hmm...\"
\"But my other senses are sharper than a steel pole...\"
\"...What?\"
\"And pushing me away, will cost you your eyeball... Ough!\" Tybalt hit the door.
\"Hmm... Yes, anyways, I haves something for him... For setting me free.\" The stranger handed the martial artist a smelly object.
\"Fine, whatever,\" Tybalt took it. \"Now beat it!\"
\"Who was that?\" Unitearica walked down from the stairs.
Phinehas limped towards the Ylian. \"Some tra--\" Before he could finish, he tripped over and smashed his face against the floor.
\"Ouch!\" Unitearica turned away. \"Now that\'s gotta hurt...\"
\"He gave you this.\" Tybalt handed him the smelly object. \"I can\'t see what it is... But my other sharp senses are telling me that it\'s Klyros\' hand...\"
\"Hmm... a fish...\"
\"He also said you set him free...\"
\"The meeting is over.\" Unitearica turned to the doors. \"Take the cripple and join the others.\"
\"What?\"
\"The Game Masters are coming.\"
Tybalt moved away and started sniffing around. \"I can\'t see you, Phin... But thanks to my sharp senses I will find you anyway... Hmm... You are just about--\"
\"Argh!\"
\"Oh, sorry... Was that your leg, or...\" Tybalt picked him up.
\"Just let\'s go...\" Phinehas blinked. \"Tybalt watch out for the...\" He watched as the martial artist fell to the ground. \"...The wall.\"
Unitearica sighed. \"Or yes, you two may just stay here...\" Suddenly three Game Masters entered the tavern. \"Hiya, fellas.\"
\"It\'s him.\" Said one of the Game Masters.
\"The anomaly.\"
\"Do we proceed?\"
\"Yes...\"
\"He is still...\"
One of the Game Masters winced. \"What was I supposed to say now?\"
\"Only role-player.\"
\"...Only role-player.\"
One of the Game Masters attacked Unitearica, but he could dodge all the strikes with ease. After a while he sent a punch himself; The Game Master blocked it. \"Hmm... Higher levels.\" Just then all the others attacked. Unitearica dodged few blows and turned around, hitting with hilt head of one of the Game Masters and striking the back of another with his axe. The third Game Master was in shock and before he could get back to attacking, Unitearica sent a few blows at his corpus and head, finally sending him dead to the ground. The only remaining Game Master stood up, clutching his head in the place where he was smashed with the hilt and after a while, with eyes opened wide, he watched as Unitearica pierced him with his sword. The Ylian walked outside and took a look around. After that he moved directly into sky.
\"What happened there, Link?\" Draklar sent a private message.
\"I don\'t know, I\'m watching TV. Leave me alone.\"
Karyuu rolled her eyes. \"Is Uni\'o ok?\"
\"Yeah, yeah, whatever...\"
\"Where is he now?\" Asked Draklar.
\"He\'s doing his Burnt Face Man thing.\"
\"What?\" Karyuu cocked an eyebrow.
\"Heheh... Burnt Face Man...\" Draklar chuckled.
\"Damn it, you guys!\"
Unitearica landed in front of the temple and walked inside. After he reached the pedestal, he took a look around. \"Where are you?\"
\"This is Draklar\'s group.\" Link made contact with Ojaveda. \"Let us in, I can\'t stand those people anymore.\"
\"Group 7, this is Ojaveda control,\" He heard in return from Natrina. \"You may enter the Gate 1.\"
\"Wait, wait...\"
\"What?\"
\"Why do you call it Gate 1? We have -only- one gate...\"
\"Well if you don\'t like it, why don\'t you go and build a second gate?\"
\"Screw you, noob.\"
Suddenly Link got smashed in his face. \"Ojaveda control, this is Draklar. Can we enter the Gate 1?\"
\"We\'re opening the gate right now... Welcome home.\"
\"There\'s no place like it...\"
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Awsome! :D
more!!!!
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Agreed, this is going to be one hell of a ride ;) Very well done! And Drak\'s an Enkidukai, as he should be... All is well :D
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amazing :)
Where am i in all this mix though? :P
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PS - PX:RLDD is at an awesome start. Good job Drak, keep it up.
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Kwip gets a mad look in his eyes and starts shouting \"More, More\"
Hmm, though I do miss the old \"Draklar talk\"... :(
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\\o/
although sometimes like kwip says old draklar talk is missed.
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Tis as a bowl of chex mix!
It is planeshift and Matrix Reloaded Fused together in a mixing bowl for us to eat diliciously!
MORE I SAY!
/me wonders what he has instore with the \"ghostly\" guys at the mansion of vamps...
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Chapter II
The group passed the gate and entered the ojapath sector. As Draklar\'s group moved onward, suddenly a bunch of characters got in their way. Draklar nodded to one of them. \"Lord Sangwa...\"
Sangwa returned the nod. \"Sir Draklar...\"
\"I asked you to not title me that...\"
\"Fine, fine... Just Draklar.\" Sangwa chuckled.
\"Are you here to watch me squash those lousy maggots?\" Draklar nodded in direction of the other three characters.
\"Nope, I\'m here to gather some rumors.\"
One of the characters cleared his throat. \"Captain Murtagh demands--\"
Draklar sent him a glare. \"Speak that word again and before you know it, your eyeball shall be ripped out with a rusty spoon, whereas Trepor accid shall be poured into your skull, gradually, until your brain turns into a heap of fleshy pulp. And while I do so, I shall cut off your fingers one by one, with a blunt axe; Afterwards, craming them right up your--\"
\"...Requests your immediate counsel, sir!\" At the sound of the title, Draklar growled. \"Err, thing!\"
\"Link!\" Draklar turned to the member of his group.
\"What the hell do you want?\"
\"Take some of my equipment,\"
\"No.\"
\"Take these swords, and this hammer, and this mace...\"
\"...No.\"
\"Knuckle duster, flail, spear, claymore, halberd...\"
\"I said no, goddamnit!\"
\"Quarterstaff, pointy stick, pike, fluffsword, basilard, dirk, spoon, falchion, metal poker, and this battle-axe... Hmm... Nay, wait, I shall take the axe with me... It still might be of use...\"
\"You know what, Draklar? Fu-- Hmm...\" Link turned to the weapons and unzipped his pants.
Draklar walked away with the encountered group.
\"What is it between them? Unitearica turned to Karyuu.
\"Draklar and Murtagh?\" Karyuu rolled her eyes. \"Me.\"
\"You?\"
\"Yes, apparently Murtagh wants to \'steal\' me from Draklar... But he\'s more of an annoyance than anything else... So now Draklar wants to crack his skull open.\"
\"Hmm... Charming...\"
\"Like a charging Tefusang...\" The Enkidukai smiled.
\"...Right.\"
\"Uni\'o!\" Yelled Efflixi while rushing through the ojapath.
\"Damn... Here goes the banana boy...\" Unitearica rolled his eyes.
\"How does he always know?\"
\"Doesn\'t he have anything better to do?\"
\"Yeah, and that banana...\" Karyuu wrinkled her nose. \"Kind of creepy, really...\"
\"Right, dancing like that, with its... Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!\"
\"Shush, he\'s almost here...\"
\"Hiya, Uni\'o!\" Efflixi panted. \"Karyuu, Link...\"
\"Shut up, noob.\" Answered Link.
\"It\'s great to have you back.\" Efflixi turned to Unitearica.
\"Thanks, it\'s g--\"
\"Wanna see Mrs. Banana?\"
\"Wait, what? Hell no!\"
\"Look!\" He put a flashy banana on the floor. \"She\'s changing her colours and she\'s dancing! Look at her dance!\" Efflixi started dancing together with the banana.
\"Oh god, make them stop...\" Unitearica rolled his eyes.
\"Hey, wanna me to carry your equipment, Uni\'o?\"
\"No, just stick with your bananas.\"
\"How about you Karyuu?\"
\"No, I\'m fine.\" She grinned.
\"You can carry these...\" Link pointed at the weaponry on the ground.
\"Yeah, sure Link.\" He picked up all the weapons. \"Hmm... Are these weapons supposed to be so wet?\"
\"Err... Sure.\"
\"Are they Swords and stuff of Water or something?\"
\"Yeah, yeah, whatever...\"
Efflixi sniffed them a bit. \"Eugh, they smell more like Swords of Urine to me.\"
\"They just might be...\" Whispered Link.
\"What did you say?\"
\"Nothing! Carry the damn weapons, noob.\"
\"Anyway, I was thinking--\"
\"You don\'t say?\" Link interrupted him.
\"Yeah, and I thought... Maybe I should join one of the groups.\"
\"Let me guess...\" Unitearica sighed.
\"I want to join Draklar\'s group. I know Draklar didn\'t accept any propositions yet...\" He nodded to Link. \"Except for you, Link.\"
\"Get lost, kid.\"
\"...But I think it\'s fate... Just think about it... The banana... Draklar\'s group.\"
\"...What?\" Unitearica cocked an eyebrow.
\"Banana... Group. C\'mon, just think about it.\"
\"I don\'t think I follow you, Efflixi...\"
\"Hmm... Let me explain: When Mr. Banana meets Mrs. Banana--\"
\"Hey, look!\" Yelled Karyuu. \"A distraction!\"
\"Where?\" Asked Efflixi.
\"Where?\" Repeated Link.
Before the two regained from confusion, Karyuu and Unitearica ran away.
Draklar entered one of the Ojaveda houses. Behind a counter, there was sitting Murtagh. He looked up to Draklar and after a while spoken. \"Ah yes, Draklar...\"
Draklar nodded to him. \"Maggot...\"
\"It seems the agression shall accompany our conversation... As always.\"
\"What would you say for my axe to accompany your arse?\"
Murtagh shook his head. \"Barbarian...\"
Draklar grasped his axe. \"Bard...\"
\"Cannot we talk in peace, for once?\"
\"Actually I wouldn\'t mind you talking in pieces, myself...\"
\"You think you are so wit, do you not?\"
\"All I think right now is which part of your face I should smash... first.\"
\"Now, now... Why would you want to mutilate my face? Is there a reason for making others look just like you?\"
\"Is there a reason why I shouldn\'t crack your skull right now?\"
\"Listen now!\" Uttered Murtagh. \"My father was a captain of a great ship!\"
\"...Not that again.\"
\"He sailed through endless seas and faced horrible monsters. Monsters that would make you flee in horror.\"
\"You father was a failure...\"
\"What?\"
\"I mean just look at yourself. How much did he have to screw up to raise such son as you?\"
\"...\"
\"I am sure he wanted to bring up a fierce sailor, but instead all he got is a wimpish bard who probably can\'t even tell a stern from a quarter...\"
\"Those are actually same--\"
\"And the way you walk? The way you speak? What kind of sailor would do that? I bet the one who threw you out of the ship was your father, who did so in an attempt to get rid of the biggest mistake of his entire life!\"
\"All right, that is it!\"
\"Aye, that\'s it, maggot... Come here and punch my axe with your face!\"
Aendar hemed while trying to get inside the house. \"Do I interrupt something?\"
\"Aye, I was just about to...\" Draklar glanced at Aendar. \"Hmm... some problems with entering there?\"
\"Yeah, head gets stuck... It got even bigger lately.\"
\"Let us pop it like a balloon!\"
\"...\"
\"Bad idea?\"
\"Yes.\"
\"Well, you shouldn\'t let your ego grow like that...\"
\"The bigger Frank gets, the better.\"
\"I am sure of that...\" Draklar looked over the doorway. \"So...\"
\"I\'ll just stay outside.\"
\"Aye, sounds good.\"
\"You both probably wonder why I came here...\"
\"To talk about what should be told to the masses about the sudden threat from the developers?\" Asked Murtagh.
\"Hmm...\" Aendar winced. \"No, no... I came here to talk about... Hmm... About oranges.\"
\"Oranges?\" Murtagh cocked an eyebrow.
\"Yes, orange... oranges.\"
\"Really...\"
\"Yes, in fact call me Lord Orange now.\"
\"We get rid of the lemon maniac, so we get an orange one instead...\" Draklar rolled his eyes. \"How quaint...\"
\"Oranges own lemons.\" Aendar nodded slightly.
\"Right, if that is all you had to say, I was just about to smash this--\"
\"Well no.\"
\"No?\"
\"No, I also want to talk about what should be told to the masses about the sudden threat from the developers.\"
\"Ah yes, we would have never thought of that.\" Murtagh rolled his eyes.
\"Indeed. So what are your views on that?\"
\"We cannot tell them everything just yet. There shall be no use of the panic that it might cause.\" Said Murtagh.
Draklar shook his head. \"We cannot hide the truth from them. We would be no better than the developers this way. Truth and honesty... It is all that matters. I say we tell them everything.\"
\"With all undue respect, my dear barbarian... Our defenses are not fully prepared just yet. We still need to think of a fighting tactic, decide on the battle positions and figure out who shall take part in battle, and whom not. So until our military is fully set, we have no way of making the citizens feel any safer than if we would simply tell them, they will all get banned tomorrow. Saying we are under threat of being attacked shall cause utter fear and total chaos, which all together mean, so unneeded right now, panic. When the need arises we should tell them. But not any sooner than we are ready to handle all the doubts and coflicts that surely shall be something we would have to face once the truth is brought forward. I think that fully explains my statement and removes any doubts that might be pointed at it. So I am asking you: did I make myself clear?\"
\"ODIN!\" Yelled Draklar and smashed Murtagh\'s head with his axe, putting him unconscious in the same moment.
\"Well now...\" Aendar cocked an eyebrow. \"I suppose that settles the case of what should be done...\"
Link and Efflixi approached Karyuu and Unitearica. The Ylian sighed. \"We were so close...\"
\"Hey, why did you run off like that?\" Efflixi titled his head.
\"Well we--\" Unitearica got interrupted by Efflixi.
\"Hey, did I tell you what Mr. Banana did to Mrs. Banana few days ago?\"
\"Oh boy...\" Unitearica rolled his eyes.
\"It was kind of amusing and creepy at the same time. Either way, worth telling about. So they were like all alone in that room, right?\"
\"Hey, look!\" Yelled Karyuu. \"A distraction!\"
\"Haha, I\'m not falling for that one again!\" Efflixi grinned. \"Huh? Guys? Where are you?\"
Link glanced at him. \"I hate you, kid...\"
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Murtagh... xD Oh gods. I can\'t stop laughing.
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HAH! Look! a distraction! HAHAHHA!
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8) :D When I am able to catch my breath from laughing so hard, I will have to plug in and congratulate you Drak. :] :)) :D So inredibly funny.
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i have no star :(
but i think i need to re watch again revolutions beofre i get this chapter polperly :/ but yeah, keep writing \\o/
Editation! just noticed, nice title picture :D
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Bleh, you people make me want to write even more :P
Originally posted by Drey
Editation! just noticed, nice title picture :D
Yeah, Kary makes the coolest stuff, doesn\'t she? ;D
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Chapter III
\"Where\'s my cheese?!\" Yelled Link after entering his home. On the floor there was some hand puppet. Link approached it and put it on his hand.
\"Where have you been, Link?\" He said in a very high pitched voice. \"I was worried about you!\"
\"Shut up, wench!\" Link said in a normal voice again. \"Where\'s my cheese!\"
\"I ate it!\"
\"What?\"
\"It was yum!\"
\"I will kill you for that, b*tch!\"
\"No, please Link! Don\'t hurt me!\"
\"Tell me where you hid the cheese!\"
\"It\'s on the top shelf. I wanted to keep it for our children.\"
\"We don\'t have any children, you tart.\"
\"Because you never give me enough attention!\"
\"Suck my--\"
\"Sure!\"
\"Get lost, wench! I don\'t want to have anything to do with you!\"
\"Well I think you do! I think I\'m pregnant!\"
\"You can\'t be pregnant! You are a damn puppet!\"
\"Puppets have feelings too!\"
\"Well feel this!\" Said that, Link started smashing his hand with the puppet on it against the wall. \"Huh? Do you feel that?\"
\"Oh, Link! It hurts! Please stop!\"
\"I\'ll stop when I want to, b*tch!\" Link yelped. \"F*ck that hurts...\"
\"Why are you so bad? Why are you never home?\"
\"Because I hang out with Draklar\'s group, you imbecile!\"
\"You shouldn\'t hang out with Draklar! He\'s crazy!\"
\"I know, but they told me I would get to meet some chicks...\"
\"What?! You are cheating on me!\"
\"Hell Yeah, I am. Gonna do something about it?\"
\"Hell yeah, I will!\" Link slammed his own face with the hand that had puppet on it, putting himself unconscious in same moment.
\"Today you all shall honor those who have been here before you!\" Aendar started his speech for the masses gathered in the Broken Doors tavern. \"As you all know, we, the oldbies, are better than you worthless scum! We are smarter, cooler and witter than any of you will ever be! Now I don\'t care how many posts you made, or how many monsters you have defeated! I don\'t care how active you all have been during your stay here! Despise all that, only one thing matters! We were here before you! So hear me, people of Ojaveda! We, and mostly I, are your Gods! If not for us, none of you would be here. We are the ground that you walk! We are the air that you breathe! We are the water that gives you your lives! We are the fire that inflames your souls! We are the feces that you dispose in the toile-- What the hell...? Who wrote that?\" Aendar started looking around, finally setting his eyesight on Draklar who tried to hid his grin. \"Why you...\" Aendar clenched his teeth. \"So as I was saying, listen to me scum! I am your God! And all of you were made just for one thing! Thing that I now order you all to fullfill! I order you all to praise me!\" Aendar took a look around. Everyone in the tavern were silent, staring at him blankly. \"Also, Draklar wanted to say something...\" As Draklar moved forward, everyone in the tavern started cheering.
\"Friends... Brothers in arms... Annoying imbeciles...\" Draklar smashed Murtagh\'s nose with his elbow, just when he started regaining consciousness and could finally stand up. \"We all have gathered here today for a reason! And I assure you that listening to Aendar\'s ego trip is not it! We have gathered here today because we are soon to face a horrible threat from the developers! In this very moment they are creating a tunnel, of which the sole purpose is to let the power-levelers into our land!\" Everyone started gabbling. \"Aye... The days of bliss are soon to be done! No more running around naked... No more making others to drink the yellow liquid... No more sticking the toes into the bottles... From this day on we must prepare to fight! But hear me as I say it! I am not afraid! Why, you ask? Because I want to die and finally go to Valhalla? No! ...Well, yes, but not only that! As I look at this place... As I look at you all... I see that it does not differ that much from the great hall of Asgard! Sure! I do not see here the mighty spears as long as the longest of trees! I do not see here the golden shields protecting our heads from the rain! I do not see here the streams made out of mead! But hear me say it! I see here that, which matters most! I see here an army of fierce soldiers that shall not flee from the threat. An army that shall face the danger and vanquish it with the godlike fury! An army that, when the time is right, shall send all the power-levelers where is their place! An army that shall send their arses all the way to Runescape!\" The tavern got filled with warcries. \"Today let us show them that we are not afraid! Let us show them that we await their move! Let us show them how much alcohol we can take! Today let us all get drunk! Men, women... krans... Tonight all shall feel the taste of ale! Tonight Aendar pays for it all!\"
\"...The Hell.\" Aendar cocked an eyebrow.
\"So let us party! Let us party until no sobber man remains! Let us party as never before, and show those bums that we shall party whenever we want... Let us show them that if they don\'t like it... They can go to hell!\" Draklar took a look around the cheering characters and moved backwards to the rest of his group.
\"You always had a way with words...\" Karyuu approached him smiling slightly.
Draklar half-smiled. \"There are things in this game, Karyuu, that shall never change...\" He nodded in the direction of his tale. \"Some things do change.\"
Karyuu grinned.
Murtagh approached them with a bleeding nose. \"Have you lost your mind? What was that for?\"
\"I believe someone being an imbecile is enough of a reason to hit him...\"
\"Well why will you not hit yourself th--\" Murtagh\'s word got interrupted by Draklar\'s fist. \"Alas! My eye!\"
\"See? You did it again...\"
\"What?\"
\"That imbecile thingy...\"
\"Oh, I will show yo--\"
\"Wait, wait... I think it is coming again...\"
\"It seems I am not wanted here...\"
\"You learn faster than I thought.\" Draklar nodded.
Murtagh snorted. \"Alright. May our next meeting fare better.\"
\"May there be no next meeting.\" Answered Draklar.
Murtagh turned to Karyuu. \"Lady.\" He nodded to Draklar. \"Beast...\" Finally he walked away.
\"Well!\" Uttered Draklar. \"I believe this beast needs to drink some mead... Now, if you excuse me... Aendar is funding my drinks...\"
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Excellent stuff, as always XD I have to say, Link is... quite the character.
Eheheh, warriors of Asgard... :] You write the best speeches.
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Absolutlely brilliant Drak. I cant wait for the next chapter.
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HAH! FUNNY!
Men, women... krans... Tonight all shall feel the taste of ale! Tonight Aendar pays for it all!\"
\"...The Hell.\" Aendar cocked an eyebrow.
HAHAHAHHAHAH!
and Kary made that title pic? Good Job with it! looks great!
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First, I was Gandalf.
Now, I\'m an elder council guy.
And why do I always have a big ego in your stories?
:]
P.S. Frank says hi.
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hahaha I just read this...
funny though I find that it makes me come off as...stupid...
Edit: aendar who said it was just in the storys :P
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Chapter IV
Aendar sighed, seeing Manar serving drinks to everyone and putting all of it on his tab. After a while he twinkled slightly and started his slow stroll towards the bar. Once he fot there, DepthBlade turned to him and finally spoken.
\"So. A Nolthrir, eh?\"
\"As you can obviously see.\" Aendar rolled his eyes. \"Or are you the blind dude?\"
\"I don\'t know what you\'re talking aboot, eh?\"
\"The blind dude? Guy that walks around sniffing women\'s hair, saying it\'s necessary for him to recognise them?\" Aendar shook his head.
\"Oh, you mean Tybalt, eh?\" DepthBlade grinned broadly.
\"Yeah, whatever.\"
\"Well, it\'s true that Tybalt can\'t see, but that doesn\'t mean he wouldn\'t recognise your race, eh? His others senses are sharp as a spoon and just sniffing you would let him--\"
\"Who\'s your Klyros friend, DepthBlade?\" Suddenly Tybalt approached them.
DepthBlade blinked and an awkward silence replaced the conversation. After a while he spoke again. \"Soo... do you wet your bed often?\"
Aendar raised an eyebrow. \"Ok, that just has to be the worst Nolthrir joke I have ever heard...\"
\"Joke?\"
\"Gah!\" Aendar slapped his forehead. \"Manar, can you please pour me some wine?\" He turned to the bartender.
\"I\'m afraid I cannot do that.\" Answered Manar.
\"What? Why not?\"
\"There is already over 1000 circles on your tab right now... I can\'t serve you any drinks until you pay that back.\"
\"...The hell? I\'m going to kill Drak... How did you get such a big ammount anyway?\"
\"Well for one, Draklar was nice enough to give me a 200 circles tip for a good service.\"
\"...And you put the tip on my tab?\"
Manar nodded. \"He said he doesn\'t have that much at the moment.\"
\"...\" Aendar twinkled.
\"Well met, Manar.\" Murtagh joined the company by the bar.
\"Greetings.\"
\"Can I have a bottle of mead, please?\"
\"Sure.\" Answered Manar and started searching for a bottle of requested drink. After handing it to Murtagh, he scribbled something on a piece of paper.
Aendar glanced over to it. \"Wait, wait... Is that my tab?\"
\"Well, yes.\" Manar nodded.
\"But you said I passed 1000 circles and therefore can\'t buy anything anymore!\"
\"Yes!\" Manar sighed. \"I said -you- passed it, not Murtagh...\"
\"What\'s the difference? It all goes onto my tab anyway...\"
\"Of course.\"
\"So why do you still give them drinks and don\'t do so for me?!\"
\"Because they always paid back their debts so far, while you have an unpaid 1000 circles one.\"
\"...\"
\"Now now, no need to be grumpy about it. You should have thought twice before you offered to pay for everyone\'s drinks.\"
\"I didn\'t offer anything! It was Draklar who--\"
\"Manar?!\" Suddenly Draklar\'s shout could be heard from the crowd.
\"Yes?\" Manar turned in the direction of the voice.
\"Murtagh destroyed a table with his head!\"
\"Oh...\"
\"Do you think 250 circles will be enough for repairing cost?\"
\"Yeah, sure!\"
\"Great! You know where to put it!\"
Manar reached for the piece of paper.
\"...The hell? You\'re not going to put that on my tab, are you?\"
\"Why not?\"
\"I offer-- I mean, -Draklar- offered that I\'ll pay for all the drinks, but he didn\'t mention anything about destroyed tables.\"
\"True...\" Manar pondered for a while. \"Draklar! Only prices of drinks can be put on the tab!\"
\"Now he\'ll have to pay 250 circles...\" Aendar grinned. \"Suits him fine for getting me into this.\"
\"You\'re right!\" Answered Draklar. \"So let\'s say I asked for 250 bottles of finest mead and gave 250 circles for them. Oh, and put another 250 circles for a good service!\"
\"Sure thing, Drak!\"
Aendar slammed his head against the counter.
\"Do you realise we just stumbled upon Hydlaa plaza, the place filled with -many- people that are -very- likely to start shouting because of -anything- interesting we might do, therefore bringing attention of -all- the Game Masters online?\" Seytra muttered under his breath.
\"Yes I do. So?\" Zanzibar shrugged slightly.
\"So! Any attempt we might make in order to get out of the Planetrix will be done on the eyes of all the people gathered around here. Whatever you might think, that is -not- a good idea.\"
\"And I am the one to blame for that or something?\"
\"Well... yes!\"
\"Look, if you have something against me just take it to tells. There\'s no need to make it all public, as both you and me should already know.\"
\"Just listen. I asked you where we should go in order to log out from the Planetrix. You said we should go forward. And so we did, but does this in any way look like a good place to log out from the Planetrix?\"
\"No.\"
\"So do you see how it is you who brought us to this unpleasant and most of all dangerous situation?\"
\"No, because I wanted to turn left just after we passed the last home.\"
\"Then why didn\'t you say so?\"
\"I thought that this information might be unnecessary or maybe even prohibbited. Therefore I thought that maybe it would be better to just keep it for myself.\"
\"Prohibbited? Are you joking? How can information about where you want to go be prohibbited? And yes, I think it was rather necessary. In fact, I think that you didn\'t want to turn left in the first place, only say so now to hide your fault in the situation, which we now found ourselves in.\"
\"I never said this exact information might be prohibbited. I said so about informations that might be acquired in general. Also I think you are too suspicious of my motives. But if you want to discuss it any further, I think we should take it to tells.\"
\"What? But you said so about -this- exact information, not any other!\"
\"I said so about all the informations in general. If you believe it was any different, I think you just didn\'t read what I said.\"
\"But--\"
\"If you really want to keep this in a form of intelligent conversation, I advice you to read carefully what I\'m saying, instead of guessing everything and replying according to what you think I might say.\"
\"You -have- to be kidding...\"
\"Look, you have been proven wrong by numerous of my arguments--\"
\"Proven me wrong by numerous arguments? What are you talking about?\"
\"Well, you would know if you just had checked what I am saying. But if you aren\'t going to do so, then I believe you\'ll just make yourself look very unintelligent.\"
\"I can\'t believe you\'re being serious... This just isn\'t right\"
\"As I already said, me and...\" Zanzibar took a look around. \"Hey, you guy!\"
Some random person turned in their direction. \"lol me?\"
\"Yes, do you think that my friend Seytra here is wrong?\" Zanzibar asked him.
\"lol freebies?\"
\"There you go.\" He put a ruby on the ground. \"So?\"
\"lol Seytra ur wrong.\" The person ran off with the newly acquired ruby.
\"As I was saying, me and many other people proven you wrong with multiple strong arguments.\"
\"What other people?\"
\"This guy we just talked with.\"
\"What? He just said I\'m wrong and ran off! That\'s hardly making a strong argument!\"
\"You just weren\'t reading what we\'re saying, again.\"
\"You know what? This is stupid. I\'m going to go now and pass on this information from Grono. You, do whatever you want... away from me.\" Said that, Seytra walked away.
\"Now there is no need to flame me! You know you are just doing that because you lack any arguments to counter my own with. Also I can\'t believe you are bitter about it now!\" Zanzibar again took a look around, spotting some person staring at him. \"What, you have something against me? Take it to tells.\"
\"Why if it isnt zanzibar...\" Suddenly some other character approached him.
\"C-Count Drey?\" Zanzibar moved back a bit.
\"Senior Drey now. I haves... business with yous.\"
\"All right, this is seventh time I\'m getting banned for 30 days...\"
\"Noes! I wants to give you a gift... And ask you for something in return.\"
\"And that would be?\"
\"Eliminate Uni\'o.\"
\"I don\'t think I should--\" He glanced at the 100 slash dagger he was offered by Drey. \"Thank you.\"
\"My pleasure.\"
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Well, I\'ve only seen the first Matrix movie, so I have no idea how faithful you are being to the story. But as a frequent reader of these forums, I find it hilarious in any case...
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So... well... done XD
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what SuburbanPlankton said.... kind of but less.
still great though \\o/
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Funny as ever! :D
Can I order some milk and put into Aendar\'s tab?
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Hah i love it just finished reading it all.... i have to say the ultimate high point was your kwartz imitation on the plantrirx one....the fact he actually talks to people like that just makes it all the more funny :)
*waits impatintally for the part with the french dude*
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I know, that part is going to rock. Cant wait o see who he picks for it.
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Originally posted by Unitearica
I know, that part is going to rock. Cant wait o see who he picks for it.
*points at the loon that posted above*
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Rofl :D :)) :]
Hey Wait \"loon\"? 8o
Oh well, cant help it, :rolleyes: so far the story is prolly one of these best parodies I\'ve ever read, whether I was in it or not is beside the point. Though I do like being in it Keep it up Drak, ur an extremely talented parody writer. ;)
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Draklar, awesome chapter. Keep on writing; it gets better and better. :D
P.S. Good handling of the party. Though I think you sort of left out something with Neo and Trinity (well, actually, you seem to have left the whole Neo-Trinity thing out, in general)... awww, alright, fine. Leave that bit out. :P
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The day you\'ll see me put Karyuu in anyone\'s arms other than mine, is the day you\'ll see Talad go \"zomg! PS needs goblins!\"
I hope I made myself clear enough :P
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Oh, I know. I was just teasing. :P
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Thing is Uni\'o :D (Unitearica) doesnt have an interest within PS, AND since this is a loosely based parody, aplying more to PS than Matrix, I think it has been handled very well. I believe for the PS parody, a love interest isn\'t necessary as much as the protection of a friendship/group/guild interest. (hope that makes sense) :rolleyes: :))
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Originally posted by Draklar
The day you\'ll see me put Karyuu in anyone\'s arms other than mine, is the day you\'ll see Talad go \"zomg! PS needs goblins!\"
I hope I made myself clear enough :P
*thinks about making Talad say that... because
*notices what he wrote and starts running
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\"As I already said, me and...\" Zanzibar took a look around. \"Hey, you guy!\"
Some random person turned in their direction. \"lol me?\"
\"Yes, do you think that my friend Seytra here is wrong?\" Zanzibar asked him.
\"lol freebies?\"
\"There you go.\" He put a ruby on the ground. \"So?\"
\"lol Seytra ur wrong.\" The person ran off with the newly acquired ruby.
wow you captured those \"13372042\" very well... well you left out the number parts but who cares...
lol before every sentence is funny because its true... and the asking for freebies... it makes it seem as you acted that way in the early days of your PSness...
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Chapter V
\"Uni\'o! You\'re not on the party?\" Annah approached Unitearica who wandered around somewhat away from the tavern.
\"No, I--\"
\"Don\'t worry ... heh ... I have the same problem ...\"
\"Problem?\" Unitearica arched an eyebrow.
\"You know ... the problem?\" Annah winked to him. \"Getting those ... awful gasses after ... drinking alcohol. When everything ... rumbles ... in your stomach ... trying to get out ... advancing and advancing ...\"
\"Ok, you may stop now.\"
\"... And then you feel like ... throwing up ... everything you ate ... including that rat eye ...\"
\"No, seriously...\"
\"... But the worst part is ... when you just have to go ... to the toilet ... and when you do what has to be done ... you have to smell that awful ... stench ...\"
\"Annah...\"
\"Yes?\"
\"I don\'t have such problem.\"
\"Oh ... heh ... well ... neither do I ...\"
\"So why are you here, Annah?\"
\"It\'s ... because of ... ... the newbies ...\"
\"You hate them?\"
\"No, no ... you see oldbies and ... newbies have to live ... in peace. There\'s not even such things as ... oldbies ... or newbie ... we are all ... part of a whole ... We are ... the ... unity. There mustn\'t be ... categories ... like newbie or oldbie ... we are all equal ... When the ... universe ... was first created ... it also was ... a newbie ... But now we see it ... as old ... as an oldbie ... So how can universe be both ... newbie and oldbie? ... Because newbie and oldbie ... are same things ... Do you ... follow what I\'m ... saying?\"
\"No.\"
\"Planets were created ... Yes, planets also were ... once newbies ... But now they are ... oldbies ... Look at me ... I am considered as cool ... and oldbie ... by many ... But what do you think ... our planet thinks of ... me? It thinks ... that ... I\'m a newbie ... Because it was here ... before me ... But our planet is wrong ... Because it all is relative ... And no one can ... consider other to be a ... newbie. When God created human ... he didn\'t want them ... to be newbies or ... oldbies ... He wanted them to reproduce ... and consider their children as their ... equals ... Because ... no child is newbie to ... his parents ... Did you see a parent ... call his son a noob? No ... So in same way ... I won\'t call you a noob ... my son ...\"
\"What did you just call me?\" Unitearica arched an eyebrow.
\"It is not ... about what I called you ... It is about ... what I ... didn\'t ... call you ... I didn\'t call you ... a noob ... And you know why? ... Because you aren\'t ... a noob ... Just like I ... am not an oldbie ... Even though ... I was here ... for so long ...\"
\"What\'s your point, Annah?\"
\"Point? There is no ... point ... I don\'t bother ... making points ... I am ... only saying ...\"
\"So I see...\"
\"Say ... have you ever ... been ... in Avril Lavigne\'s... house?\"
Unitearica sighed. \"No Annah, I have not.\"
\"Right ... Just checking ... if you tell ... the truth ... If you were ... in her house ... she would ... tell me ... heh ...\"
\"You know Avril Lavigne?\"
\"Yes ... We ... play squash together ... The central north Romanian version of it ...\"
\"What the hell, Annah? You don\'t expect me to believe that, do you?\"
Annah gasped. \"You said the ... H-word.\"
\"H-word? You mean \'expect\'?\"
\"No, no ... the other H-word.\"
\"...Hell?\"
\"Ahh! You said it ... again!\"
\"What the hell?\"
\"Lalalala! I can\'t ... hear you!\"
\"Cut the crap, Annah...\"
\"Because I\'ve never felt like this before ...\" Annah started singing. \"I\'m naked ... Around you ... Does it show? ... You see right through me ... And I can\'t hide ... I\'m naked ... Around you ... And it feels so right ...\"
\"...Think I should go now.\"
\"I feel like I am all alone ... All by myself I need to get around this ... My words are cold, I don\'t want them to hurt you ... If I show you, I don\'t think you\'d understand ... Cause no one understands ...\" Annah took a look around. \"Uni\'o? Where are ... you?\"
\"Uni\'o!\"
\"This just isn\'t my day...\" Unitearica turned in the direction, which he heard the voice from. There were few men approaching him.
\"This is from the oracle.\" One of them handed him a cookie.
\"It\'s time to go...\"
\"I want to divorce you, Link.\" He said in a high pitched voice.
\"No way, you\'re after my money!\"
\"You don\'t even have any money, you maggot!\"
\"Sure I do! I just hide them from you.\"
\"Why did I marry you in the first place anyway?\"
\"Because of sex.\"
\"Oh yeah...\"
\"Well I\'m going to find some chicks now. You just wait here and be your usual b*tchy self.\"
\"Well once you\'re gone, I\'m going to meet with Josh!\"
\"Josh? That screwdriver?\"
\"I told you not to call him that!\"
\"But he -is- a damn screwdriver!\"
\"Whatever, at least he\'s better in bed than you ever were!\"
\"...\"
Zanzibar got his 100 slash dagger ready and glanced at the passing Draklar\'s group.
\"I can\'t believe Bora did it...\" Said Draklar. \"I told them quite clearly that I should be the one to contact Grono. Why must some people be some stubborn?\"
\"You know what? Screw you, idiot.\" Link turned to Draklar.
\"Link... I believe we had a small talk about that.\"
\"Fine, fine... Screw you, boss.\"
\"That\'s more like it.\"
Once they passed by him, zanzibar got out from the shadows and headed for Unitearica with intend to stab him in the back. He was getting closer and closer... The murder was inevitable, yet something unexpected happened... He tripped over. After standing up, he tried to approach Unitearica once again. Once more he approached the stabbing distance and was ready to make his final move.
\"Uni\'o!\" Someone yelled from behind. Everyone turned around and noticed zanzibar standing in an attacking position, with dagger in his hand.
\"I uhh... My grandma asked me to shave her back... No, wait... crap.\" Zanzibar has quit Planeshift.
\"Well that was... odd...\" Draklar arched an eyebrow.
\"Uni\'o!\" Efflixi approached them. \"I heard you\'re going to see Grono.\"
\"We don\'t have time, kid.\" Muttered Draklar.
\"I only want to talk with Uni\'o.\"
\"No way Efflixi,\" Said Unitearica. \"I stroked your banana yesterday already.\"
\"You -what-?\" Draklar\'s eyes widened.
\"Uhh... I don\'t know what he\'s talking about.\"
\"It was -you- who said it!\"
\"My banana was very happy about it...\" Efflixi turned to Unitearica. \"And looks forward to your another visit. I can show you how happy my banana is now.\"
\"No!\" Uttered Draklar.
\"So what do you want?\" The Ylian asked.
\"One of the special ones said to give this to you... And that you would understand.\" Efflixi handed him a bent spork. \"He said you will be next.\"
\"Crap...\"
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*wets himself laughing at the annah monolog*
best conversation EVER!
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ok... i think i read that efflixi section in totaly the wrong way, dirty minds and all.
the annah convo totally wierded me out
but as ususal a two thumbs up and a big grin from me. keep writing.
and yes, i do spell the same word in different ways in one post. that way one has to be correct... hpoefully.
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The Annah conversation was ridiculously hard to read.. xD
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That was so D4|\\/|N funny, I lost it halfway through the Annah convo. Dude, I dont know where u manage to come up with the makeshift storyline to parody so closely to PS and Matrix, but dang ur way too good at it. I shake the hand of a master parody write.
:D :)) :) ;) :P
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Originally posted by Draklar
\"Do you realise we just stumbled upon Hydlaa plaza, the place filled with -many- people that are -very- likely to start shouting because of -anything- interesting we might do, therefore bringing attention of -all- the Game Masters online?\" Seytra muttered under his breath.
\"Yes I do. So?\" Zanzibar shrugged slightly.
[clip]
1. I was only banned once, and it was reduced (I\'ll be playing again starting tuesday).
2. Drey and I have always been good terms, and it offends me that you would suggest otherwise.
3. Whenever I asked people to \"take it to tells\", it\'s because the developers specifically told me to keep the flaming out of the public IRC chat.
I appreciate that you put a lot of work and creativity into whatever that was. I\'ve yet to read the rest of it as I only had my attention pointed to that later section of it. However, I\'m sure you have better use for your active imagination than insulting me and making up lies about things you obviously do not understand.
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1) If you\'d read up the whole story, you\'d know it is set in future of PS.
2) I know. Drey said that many times. I\'m on good terms with Drey either anyway, it\'s just a story :P
3) It is a parody. It\'s purpose is to ridiculously enlarge some things, as to a point of it becoming hilarious. It is not meant to be taken seriously.
Lighten up dude, I didn\'t mean to offense you in any way.
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shal, i dont see where he has made you look bad, you should be glad that you have a role in the story :P
also, where did he suggest that we were no friends?
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Chapter VI
\"If I may ask, why did you let them go on their little mission when Ojaveda is currently under a serious threat and obviously needs anyone who can use a weapon of their choice and who is able to defend it?\" Said Murtagh, seemingly annoyed at Annah. \"The developers are progressing rather quickly. They are at the state of final touches. The new tunnel will soon be opened and the vast number of power-leveling scum will storm our land and wipe out anyone who stands on their way. We need every single warrior on our side to stand against this threat. I mean it. Even with all our forces ready we will be forced to face a horrible battle in which many, if not all, will find their death. And yet you allow Draklar and his group to leave Ojaveda and contact the so called oracle! Do you really believe in what Draklar says? Does it make any sense? He is crazy and you know that. He cannot be trusted, all he can do is swing his goddamn axe at anything that moves. His brain isn\'t capable of making any serious decisions. You can expect him to say \'Me Drak! Me smash moving stuffs!\', but -not- do anything of importance. I am the one who does all the thinking here, not him. And yet for some reason you listened to his crazy plan. I demand to hear the reason behind all this, valid enough to prove to me that the elders of this place still are capable of using their brain cells. So?\"
Annah hemed. \"Even though ... you are a newbie ... and I am ... an oldbie ... there is no difference between ... us ... We must learn to live in ... peace ... Because ... we all ... are equal ...\"
\"Why do I even bother..?\"
Unitearica slowly entered the temple. It was rather quiet in there, he didn\'t hear any lively conversations that usually could be heard in this place. He continued his stroll, finally reaching he gate to the main hall. Next to the pedestal he noticed a robust, unkept Ylian who had his hair reaching the shoulders and almost as long beard.
\"Hello.\" He said, with a bit of unease in his voice.
\"Hail!\" The Ylian uttered.
\"Who are you?\" Unitearica approached him.
\"My name is Xalthar. I am here to take you to the gloried oracle. Yet first, I must say something.\"
\"Say what?\"
\"Heads!\" Said that, Xalthar swinged his axe at Unitearica\'s head.
Unitearica ducked just in time and after jumping away, he grasped his dual shortswords. Xalthar didn\'t give him much time to prepare, charging at him with a battlecry without any further wait. Unitearica sidestepped from the attack and swinged one of the swords at his opponent. He didn\'t manage to hit him however, receiving a kick in the chest and getting thrown away a bit, yet managing to land back on his feet. Xalthar leaped at him with the axe ready for attack. Unitearica jumped away just in time and with unease glanced at the crack in the floor caused by the hit of his enemy\'s axe. He leaped at Xalthar, making himself spin in the air and sending two attacks at the robust Ylian. Before he could do any harm, Xalthar grabbed him by the collar and sent him back to ground, creating a shock wave directly from under his body. Unitearica instantly jumped back to his feet and aimed his shortswords.
\"Good.\" Said Xalthar. \"There are many people who want to bug Grono. I had to be sure.\"
\"Of what?\"
\"That you are the one, Uni\'o.\"
\"You coul\'ve just check my label.\"
\"No. You do not truly know someone until you fight them. Come, she awaits our arrival.\" Said that Xalthar walked into the mid-air.
Unitearica followed him instantly. \"Is this a modification of map?\" He glanced at Xalthar who nodded slightly. \"Are you a programmer?\" This time he shook his head. \"Then what are you?\"
\"I am a proud son of the northland! Glorious descendant of the vikings and a true follower of the way of STEEL! Ready to crack the infidel skulls--\"
\"Ok, that\'s nice. But what do you do in -here-?\"
\"I protect that, which matters most.\" They arrived at the plaza, where Grono was already awaiting them.
\"Quickly, quickly!\" She yelled. \"Let\'s not waste any time. I have a game to play.\"
\"Aren\'t you playing one right now?\" Unitearica tilted his head.
\"What?\"
\"Planeshift.\"
\"Oh, that. Well Planeshift sucks, I have a better game to play.\"
\"Is that why you aren\'t in council?\"
\"Council?\"
\"The oldbies of Planeshift.\"
\"Ah, yeah. All those people are being silly, still believing that this \'game\' is going anywhere. And Kiern is there just for the fun of watching people arguing, I think.\" She shrugged.
\"Then why are you here?\"
Grono shrugged. \"Just because.\"
\"Just because? And they call you the oracle?\"
\"Let\'s get back to the point when I said let\'s not waste any time, shall we?\"
\"Fine, what did you want to tell me?\"
\"You want to save all that Ojaveda business, right?\"
\"Yeah, I guess... Draklar will yell at me if I won\'t.\"
\"Listen up then. To save Ojaveda, you have to reach Darkmoon, but to do that you will need the storymaker.\"
\"The storymaker?\"
\"Yeah, he disappeared some time ago... Last seen eating a cake... Or five cakes, doesn\'t matter. What does matter is that he was found just recently. He\'s being help prisoner by a very dangerous... or just very curious individual. His name is Seperot and he will not let him go without cutting off all of his limbs beforehand.\"
\"What does he want?\"
\"What do all freaks with power want? More power. Find a way into the hole behind Zak and you might have a chance of meeting him.\"
\"We must go.\" Xalthar jumped a bit around Grono.
\"Well it\'s game time for me. Good luck, kiddo.\" Both Grono and Xalthar logged out.
\"Mr Unitearica!\" Drey approached the plaza. \"Did you get my fish?\"
\"Yeah, it was very... smelly.\"
\"Glad you liked it. Surprised to see me?\"
\"After all the stuff I went through lately? No.\"
\"Then you knows it.\"
\"Knows... Know what?\"
\"That im no longer a Game Master. I dont knows how it happened, how you removed my character, how you made me lose the Game Master status. But thats not important. Important is what followed it.\"
\"Party at the Game Masters HQ?\"
\"Noes! I banned you, Mr Unitearica, I watched you vanish. But then somethings happened. Something that I thought would happen anyways. You removed my Game Master status, Mr Unitearica. I knew what I was goings to do afterwoods losing that.\"
\"Heh, afterwoods...\"
\"What?\"
\"It\'s \'afterwards\'\"
\"Ah, so thats how its spelled... Anyways, I wanted to leave this game. But I didnt. I couldnt. I still wanted to stay. And now im here because of you, Mr Unitearica, because of you im no longers the Game Master of this game. But as you knows all people needs a reason to be here, without purpose our characters would not exist.\"
\"It is purpose that created our characters.\" Some character approached them, with another few following him.
\"lol purpose that makes us level.\"
\"Purpose that guides us.\"
\"That makes us better than others.\"
\"That shows us our place.\"
\"wtf? lol whatr u ppl doing?\"
\"That makes us stay.\"
\"I ams here because of you, Mr Unitearica. Im here to take froms you what you tried to take from me. Purpose.\"
\"Really?\"
\"Yes.\" Drey handed him a diamond encrusted fire longsword. \"Want to join Dreys fan club?\"
Unitearica inspected the sword carefully and gave it back after a while. \"No thanks.\"
\"As you wish.\" Drey bit him.
\"What the hell?\" Before Unitearica got his answer, all the other characters attacked him. He jumped away a bit and unsheathed his shortswords. As all the people leaped at him, he managed to kill them one after another. Another few attacked from the behind. It seemed as if every single of them wielded some special weapon. Unitearica dodged all the blows and returned the attacks with his own, more accurate ones. All of Drey\'s followers were getting killed. Suddenly one of game Masters teleported himself to the plaza. He took a look around, seeing the large fight.
\"I thought we disallowed fights on the plaza...\" Suddenly he noticed the former Game Master. \"Drey!\"
\"Yes, Drey!\" Answered Drey. \"Drey, Drey, Drey!\" He handed him a 200 slash shortsword.
\"Drey too!\"
Unitearica continued getting rid of all the Drey followers, but now he had to take care of the Game Master as well.Even though their number was large, he still held the lead in this battle.
Drey winced. \"More.\" He took a look around the plaza and started handing away his powerful weapons.
More and more people were attacking Unitearica and soon the crowd was too much to handle. Even though he managed to kill another few, much more were joining constantly. Suddenly one of them pounced onto Unitearica, allowing others to help in pinning him to the ground. After some time of struggling, Unitearica managed to get out of the grip and moved high into the sky, diappearing from everyone\'s sight.
Unitearica logged out from the Planetrix and returned to Draklar\'s group.
\"Are you all right?\" Asked Karyuu.
\"It was Drey...\" Draklar approached him.
\"Yes.\"
\"Now he has a bigger company.\"
\"A lot bigger.\"
\"How is that possible?\" Asked Link.
\"I don\'t know - somehow he has found a way to get many items and just bribe people.\"
\"No!\" Yelled Link. \"I mean on TV. I\'m watching this porn movie and I wonder how is that thing the guy\'s doing even possible.\"
Draklar kept staring at Link for a while. \"Is that what he was doing to you?\" He turned back to Unitearica.
\"What? Heck no! I mean I don\'t even know what that guy might be doing, but I\'m sure that\'s not it!\"
\"...I mean Drey.\"
\"Oh. I don\'t know what he was doing, but I know what it felt like.\"
\"What?\" Karyuu arched an eyebrow.
\"Pretty much felt like taking a candy from the stranger from that car.\"
-
Pure Hilarious Brilliance - 2 :tup: :tup: and a :diamond:
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Chapter VII
\"The developers are finishing their Ojaveda tunnel,\" Said Murtagh while facing the oldbie council. \"But I believe they will have to keep all the power-levelers interested with something until all that will come into existance. By spreading false rumors we can make few of the power-levelers leave before they find out it is nothing more than a bunch of lies. If it shall be done accordingly, the threat will be reduced and the number of enemies, we will be forced to face, shall decrease. We will have to send few groups with enough skills in leet speak, just to make sure that our targed doesn\'t get suspicious because of us using proper language.\"
\"The council is well aware of the seriousness of the attack, captain Murtagh.\" Said Kada. \"We allow you to do whatever you think is necessary to prepare the defense lines of the Ojaveda city.\"
\"Thank you, councillor.\"
\"However, we ask if there has been any message from Draklar or from his group.\"
\"No message, nothing.\"
\"Then we request a group to be sent to find out what happened with them.\" Aendar joined the conversation.
\"But we need all of our forces in here. It is enough that this madman left already. We cannot spare any further fighting force.\"
\"But ... We will have ... to ...\" Said Annah. \"Even though ... we are oldbies ... we still need to ... care for the ... newbies ...\"
\"Fine, fine. But it\'ll take days for one group to find them.\"
\"Quite frankly, Planeshift isn\'t nearly big enough for that to be the issue.\" Said Kiern.
\"This is insane!\"
\"Watch your mouth, Murtagh.\" Replied Aelya.
\"I am truly sorry, but I just cannot understand the council\'s decission. It seems to stand against any form of common sense.\"
\"Well what did you expect?\" Asked Kiern. \"This -is- Planeshift.\"
\"But I cannot order anyone to go on this suicide mission.\"
\"The orders will be unneeded.\" Said Kada. \"All the groups are here, let them decide on their own.\" She moved her eyesight over all the people behind Murtagh. \"We need one group to go on the said mission. Any volunteers?\"
\"Let\'s just make sure that this group won\'t follow the absurd of the last mission.\" Added Kiern.
\"Did he just insult me?\" Whispered zanzibar.
\"What? Keep quiet, zanzibar.\" Replied Seytra.
\"No, I\'m pretty sure he just insulted me...\" Zanzibar stood up. \"Hey, you!\"
\"What the hell?\" Kiern made the scary baby face.
\"I appreciate that you put a lot of work and creativity into your \'smart\' comments, however, I\'m sure you have a better use for your time than insulting me and making up lies about things you obviously do not understand!\"
\"Cut the drama, peanut.\"
\"No! I will not stay silent when the council members are constantly making up insults and throwing them at me in the public! If you have something against me, take it to PMs. But in this situation I feel obligated to report the behaviour of the council member to the proper authorities.\"
\"Congrats peanut, you\'ve just won the drama queen crown.\" Kiern made yet another scary baby face.
\"You keep digging your hole further and further... Just wait until I reach the authorities. Then you\'ll have to deal with every single thing you said at my person. Just to think of all the explaining you\'ll have to do... my oh my.\"
\"Shut your hole, zanzibar, before I put you in one.\" Whispered Bora.
\"Hey! I have the full constitutional right of defending my name and I am sure to use it. None of you will stop me! None, you hear?\"
\"The peanut\'s losing it...\"
\"And for your information! It offends me that you call me by the name of an edible, nut-like, oily seed! A petition containing all your words is being formulated as we speak and soon will be sent to the proper authorities.\"
\"This is so sad that it becomes hilarious. Hey, can I send a petition about you being an idiot?\"
\"You\'re asking me to take the radical measures.\" Zanzibar has quit Planeshift.
\"Heh...\"
\"We\'ll go.\" Said Bora.
\"Are you sure about that?\" Asked Kada, still feeling unease from the odd conversation.
\"Yes, maybe zanzibar will do less damage when... he isn\'t here.\"
Draklar, Karyuu and Unitearica jumped down onto the tunnel behind Zak and glitched in afterwards. After that they moved further into that tunnel.
\"That wasn\'t here before.\" Whispered Karyuu.
\"Aye.\" Draklar nodded. \"I see some modding work here.\"
\"What can you see, Uni\'o?\"
\"Uhh... Walls... darkness...\"
\"No, no. I mean what special things you can see in the map.\"
\"Well, the walls seem to be filled with C4...\"
\"...Just great.\"
Finally they reached a large hall. In the center, behind a desk sat leji.
The Dermorian glanced at them. \"Puis-je vous aider?\"
\"Fius re nali portahier.\" Answered Draklar.
\"...I asked if I can help you.\"
\"Aye, take us to the bunny rabbit boy.\"
\"Bun--\"
\"Seperot.\"
\"Right, follow me.\"
They walked after leji and soon found themselves in a temple-like room. Lots of people were there, in the far end sat Seperot and Moogie. Leji moved onwards and upon reaching the two, jumped onto Moogie\'s bakc.
\"My bakc!\" Yelped Moogie.
\"Aha, here hes at last.\" Said Seperot. \"Uni\'o, the one himsefl, right? And the legendary Draklar. And the beuatiful Karyuu of course.\"
\"You know why we are here.\" Said Draklar.
\"Of course I knwo! I hav various inforemers running all acorss the Planetrix. I know eevrything. The questien is do you know why youre heer.\"
\"We are looking for the storymaker.\"
\"Juh, juh, the storymaker. But do yuo knwon why youre looking for him?\"
\"To save the Planeshift.\"
\"And why do you wnat to do taht? Becose its right? Because its good? What is good? Dose it difer from evil?\"
\"Are you getting anywhere or just felt like making up some random questions?\"
\"My my, impotent as always.\" Seperot patted Draklar on the head.
\"I seriously hope you just horribly misspelled that...\"
\"Did yuo ever look at thoes peolpe running around screming \'Im evil! Im evil!\'? I hate it. They dont knoew whats evil about. Just look at deveolepers. Did anyone ever see them as evil? Until introdecing of monethly fee I mean. No, they were praised. They wer hiding wiht their evilness. Until it was the time to strike. Now thats evil! Not soem kids play. And just look at this place. It holds so much power, more power than ayn of tohes evil kidides ever had. It startd so innocentent. I startd the Cult of Seperot. I gave the suckers some cool sounding ranks and evryone started sucking up to be in it. It kept growing and growing and noone knwen waht I truly wantd to get by it. Power, Drakler... Power. Befr anyone could react, the cult was so big that it becam unstotable. And now yuo see me on the high point of power.\"
\"...Back to the storymaker.\"
\"Just look at that woman.\" Seperot pointed at Agara. \"So obvies, so nicely goody good. Gathering everyones atention by sending her smiles, amany smiles and grins. So much need of atentien. Well I have a little gift for her. Watch.\"
Someone delivered a package to Agara and quickly ran away. She opened it slowly, with curiousity on her face. The package opened... Before she could react it exploded.
\"Charming...\" Draklar arched an eyebrow.
\"Great wasent it?\" Seperot burst out laughing. \"Beats running around yelling youre evil.\"
\"...Storymaker.\"
\"Fine! The storymaker. You dont exepect me to just give him away, do you? I grew in powre because I collectd it, not gave it away. If you wantr me to give you some of my power, you have to give me some power of yours. Do you have such power? The power taht Id want?\"
\"No...\"
\"Then I beleiv we have nothing to talk about. All we can say is goodbye.\"
\"This isn\'t over yet.\" Said Unitearica.
\"Oh yes it is. This place is filld with C4 and I haev the button for detonaeting it all. So if you wont--\"
\"Fine, we\'ll go.\" Draklar muttered under his breath.
They turned towards the tunnel.
\"Well that went well...\" Karyuu winced.
\"It couldn\'t go any other way.\"
\"How do you know?\" Asked Unitearica.
\"I talked with Seperot many times already... It\'s just something you take as given.\"
Once they left the tunnel, they noticed Moogie standing in front of them.
\"If you want the storymaker, follow me.\"
-
I seriously have to ask: just how hard it is to have to mistype entire paragraphs? :P
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\\o/
but like i said, i cant see shal being best pleased with that :P
-
\"Just look at that woman.\" Seperot pointed at Agara. \"So obvies, so nicely goody good. Gathering everyones atention by sending her smiles, amany smiles and grins. So much need of atentien. Well I have a little gift for her. Watch.\"
Someone delivered a package to Agara and quickly ran away. She opened it slowly, with curiousity on her face. The package opened... Before she could react it exploded.
\"Charming...\" Draklar arched an eyebrow.
\"Great wasent it?\" Seperot burst out laughing. \"Beats running around yelling youre evil.\"
*wets himself laughing once again* my god i love it!
-
Originally posted by Karyuu
I seriously have to ask: just how hard it is to have to mistype entire paragraphs? :P
I simply tried not to look directly at the keys and typed without much thinking :P
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Originally posted by Drey
shal, i dont see where he has made you look bad, you should be glad that you have a role in the story :P
He\'s depicting me as a noob. Not just a newbie, but someone who acts like an upity idiot. Why wouldn\'t I feel a little bit offended?
It doesn\'t help that there isn\'t even a character named Zanzibar in Planeshift. My moniker in game is Shalmaneser, while I post OOC on the forums as Zanzibar. Further, the joke about IRC is completely tasteless.... the devs wanted the flaming to leave the public chat, and I was trying to cool people down.
He isn\'t making a play on my in-game character. He\'s making a comment on me personally. If he\'s going to make a special exception in my case and attack the person rather than the character, so be it. I don\'t mind being poked fun at. But unlike what he\'s done elsewhere, with me it seems nasty and mean-spirited.
-
Kiern isn\'t a character in-game. Grono isn\'t either. Nor is Seytra ;) What does it matter? It\'s a parody of exxagerations, whether in-game characters or the players behind them. It\'s not serious. Maybe instead of being offended at things, you can chuckle and really see the humor behind them.
-
Originally posted by zanzibar
Originally posted by Drey
shal, i dont see where he has made you look bad, you should be glad that you have a role in the story :P
He\'s depicting me as a noob. Not just a newbie, but someone who acts like an upity idiot. Why wouldn\'t I feel a little bit offended?
first to get banned \\o/
am I crying about it? :P
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zanzibar, Look at what he did to me in the parody, he made my spelling 100 times worse then before and turned my whole \"evil dont call themselfs evil\" rant on its head. a parody of oneself is only as true as you percive it. if you take it lightheartedly then you know its all fun and games. if you take it to heart then clearly you either have some trust issues with people or you see more of yourself in it then you would like publically known. im not saying this is true to you however this is how you are being percived by me by being the only person to complain about how the parody of yourself has been viewed :)
in simple terms. lighten up its a joke not a condeming letter
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It\'s about time Draklar got his revenge on me for putting him in a boy band. :D Can\'t wait to see what I do. This is insanely funny on all levels.
Just a question, wasn\'t Moogie already the oracle\'s helper in the first parody? The milk incident and threat of bodily harm?
*makes no comment about Zanzishalmanesebar, so as not to start a long winded, pointless argument*
That is a joke, take it as so.
-
Originally posted by Under the moon
Just a question, wasn\'t Moogie already the oracle\'s helper in the first parody? The milk incident and threat of bodily harm?
Yes, but it\'s not the first time I give two roles to one person in this parody... And I will refer to that :P
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Chapter VIII
The group followed Moogie up to the hanging bridge.
\"Must she bounce so?\" Asked Unitearica.
\"Some things are better to remain unanswered...\" Replied Draklar.
\"I\'m so sick of his evil bullsh*t.\" Moogie stopped. \"On and on, pompous pr*ck.\"
\"Who?\" Unitearica arched an eyebrow.
\"Duh!\" Draklar shook his head to the question.
\"Seperot...\" Answered Karyuu.
\"Yis.\" Moogie nodded. \"A long time ago, when we first came here, it was so different. He was so different.\"
\"...No he wasn\'t.\" Draklar arched an eyebrow.
\"Silence! I\'m making a point.\"
\"Of course.\"
\"I would be glad to help you in pissing him off, but... From you people I want something in return.\"
\"Why?\"
\"Because that freaking as*hole spilled my milk!\" She pointed at Unitearica.
\"Woah there...\" The Ylian stepped back.
\"Give me back my milk, Uni\'o, or I\'ll make sure that your lungs will end up as Dorbian\'s food!\"
\"Moogie, you don\'t expect us to have any milk, do you?\" Asked Draklar.
\"Actually...\" Unitearica pulled out a bottle of milk.
\"...The hell?\" Draklar tilted his head. \"What did you need that milk for?\"
\"What I do in my private time doesn\'t need to be known by you or anyone else for that matter.\"
\"Miiiiilk!\" Shrieked Moogie.
\"Gah!\" Unitearica threw the bottle of milk in direction of Moogie, who then caught it rapidly.
\"My dreaded enemy and the greatest ally... Together at last.\" She curled up with it.
Draklar approached Moogie and poked her with a pointy stick, to which she replied with a growl. Quickly he jumped back and handed the stick to Unitearica. \"You poke her.\"
\"Moogie... fluff! I, man holding the name of Uni\'o, order you, with the power given to me by Draklar--\"
\"Hah, she\'s done for.\" Said Draklar with pride in his voice.
\"Eheh... ehh...\" Commented Karyuu.
\"--To stand up and fullfill what you promissed to the people gathered around here. To make you abide by my orders, hereby I poke you with this allmighty st-- Arghh! Holy crap! My arm, my arm! Someone get her off, she might have rabies!\"
\"Well that didn\'t work out well...\"
\"Not really.\" Karyuu shrugged. \"...What are you doing?\"
\"Watch.\" Draklar threw a fluffy ball at Moogie, who then released Unitearica and started palying with it. \"So.\" He turned to Karyuu. \"You\'ll poke her?\"
After a while the group led by Moogie went up and reached yet another tunnel. After walking into it they noticed two characters inside. It was Grakrim and Monketh.
\"It\'s ok, guys. They\'re with me.\" Said Moogie.
Monketh and Grakrim only glanced at the group.
Unitearica looked at them casually. \"They\'re...\"
\"They\'re Seperot\'s sheep.\" Continued Moogie. \"Just like we, they came in the middle period of Planeshift and like all the people from back then, they sticked out of the crowd. Seperot wanted them around, but eventually one of them had to be... removed.\"
\"I cannot but notice, Moogie, that we both are present in this exact location,\" Said Grakrim. \"Which puts into serious doubt whatever it is that you just tried to pull forwards as a certain fact.\"
\"Oh really?\"
\"It appears so to me, yes.\"
Moogie clawed Grakrim. \"Fixed.\" She turned to Monketh. \"You can either run to the temple and tell Seperot what I have done, or you can stay here and share Grakrim\'s fate.\"
Monketh ran out and Moogie carried on leading the group. After a while they realised that just a bit further the tunnel turned into a corridor with many doors to the left and right. Moogie led them a bit further and stopped after a while.
\"He\'s to the right.\" She said.
Unitearica walked up to the door.
\"She said right, Uni\'o.\" Muttered Karyuu.
\"Yeah, yeah... What\'s the difference?\" He walked up to the other door and opened it. Walking further, he finally reached a room with many books in it and a twitching Underthemoon sitting in the center, writing something like crazy. \"My name is Uni\'o.\" He said.
\"Yes, I\'m the storymaker,\" Underthemoon bowed to him. \"I\'ve been waiting for you.\"
\"Did you write all this?\" He glanced at the books on the shelves.
\"Indeed, I did.\" Underthemoon twitched slightly.
Unitearica checked one of the books. \"Chain of Souls VIII: Ambushed By The Son of a Trepor... Huh?\" He took another. \"Chain of Souls XIX: The Cake And The Pie... Ehh...\" Unitearica moved onward. \"Chain of Souls LXII: On The Hill of Unexpected Event That Gave Him The Meaning of More Than Just Two-Sided Trees... Chain of Souls CLIX: Is Anyone Still Reading This?\" He glanced at Underthemoon. \"You have serious problems, dude... Maybe you should see a specialist, or something?\"
\"No time for... Specialists. Must write... Nine million nine hundred ninety-five thousand five hundred forty-one. Forty-two. Forty-three. Forty-four. Forty-five.\"
\"...What are you doing?\"
\"Must reach... Ten million words... Forty-eight. Forty-nine.\"
\"Ooook, we seriously need to get you out of here.\" Unitearica pulled on his collar.
\"Nooo! Must write! Fifty-three. Fifty-four. Fifty-- ack!\" Underthemoon got led outside to the rest of the group. Once Underthemoon noticed them, he bowed to Moogie, Karyuu and Draklar.
\"Let\'s go.\" Said Draklar.
Outside of the tunnel there was already waiting Seperot and his band. Underthemoon bowed to Monketh, Faldrok and less than bowed to Seperot.
\"Bah! Bah I say!\" Seperot stepped forward and turned to Moogie. \"How chould you do this?! Yuo chouldnt do that! I demand expelanatien. Why did you do taht, woman?\"
\"Because of the evil bullsh*t, Sep.\"
\"Evil? Evil? What craziness your talking about woman, there is no evil.\"
\"Save it, Sep. No matter whether you run around screaming you\'re evil or not, you\'re still the same old evil b*stard.\"
\"Juh juh juh, woman, this is nothing. Its a game, it is only a game.\"
\"So is this. Have fun.\" Moogie walked away.
\"Alright, alright. Lets find out wehere this goes. Release Dorbian and Newpie.\"
\"Are you sure, boss?\" Asked Faldrok.
\"Dont questien my oreders! Release them at once!\"
\"As you wish...\" Faldrok opened two cages and moved a bit away.
\"You two, get the storymaker.\"
Dorbian and Newpie growled, leaping high up and landing just in front of Underthemoon.
\"That\'s a nice trick.\" Said Karyuu.
Underthemoon bowed to Dorbian and Newpie. \"I cannot go back!\" Said that, Underthemoon rushed away. The two followed him without waiting even one second.
\"I\'ll handle them.\" Unitearica turned to Draklar and Karyuu, who then rushed after Underthemoon.
\"Handle us?\" Asked Seperot. \"You will handel us? You know, all the other peopel that we killed before showed much moer respect.\" He pulled out his minigun and started shooting at Unitearica. The Ylian however didn\'t move, all the bullets fired by Seperot stopped in the mid-air. \"Ok, you haev some skill...\" He turned to Faldrok and Monketh. \"Kill him.\"
-
So, glancing through here as I don\'t have enough time to start from the beginning atm; that makes me one of those guys from the chateau scene? And sep the french guy?
I really can\'t imagine Seperot as a frenchman. :P
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Originally posted by Monketh
I really can\'t imagine Seperot as a frenchman. :P
You\'re the only one then :P
And, well... yea, you\'re one of the warewolves.
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buhahaha love it. Making Dorb and Pie the ghosts was a great idea :D
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So, when do we get number 3?
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Number 3? We\'re still waiting on him to finish this one....
Patiently waiting I should say, no rush if it causes u writerrs block or the feeling that u no loner want to do it... just take ur time, lol
-
Originally posted by Unitearica
Number 3? We\'re still waiting on him to finish this one....
Patiently waiting I should say, no rush if it causes u writerrs block or the feeling that u no loner want to do it... just take ur time, lol
but still WORK FASTER DAMNIT!
-
I keep writing, only that not Planetrix. My priorities are elsewhere right now :[
-
Chapter IX
"Kill me? Just like that?" Unitearica tilted his head. "Shouldn't we first have some cookies?"
"I'm afraid it's not cookies we'll have right now." Monketh drew his sword. "It'll be your head!"
"I wouldn't mind a cookie, actually." Faldrok scratched his head.
"Shadap, Faldork!" Seperot scorned him and right after turned to Unitearica. "We hed soem pie, but im afreid rait now its after our cammen friend."
"You won't get the storymaker." Unitearica shook his head. "Over my dead body."
"Fer enaf." Seperot shrugged.
"Fight!" Monketh slashed at Unitearica, but not fast enough to strike the enusually agile Ylian. He lashed out with a few more missed blows, yet eventually Unitearica used his forearm to block the sword.
"May I have a try?" The Ylian grinned and took a hold of his enemy's weapon, right after knocking him down with a thrusting kick.
"Get up, yuo wuss!" yelled Seperot.
Monketh slowly stood up and dusted himself off. "Look who's talking. The one who had his ass kicked by a little Moogie."
"Did I ask you for an opinien?!"
"He does have a point though, boss." Faldrok nodded.
"Faldie?" Seperot smiled.
"Yes, Seppie?" Faldrok smiled back.
"Why in the bloody name of Venge's yelow pajamas arent you faiting?!!"
For a moment Faldrok stared blankly at the rogue. "They're yellow?"
"Ya, their yellew, Falderk," answered Seperot. "Yelew with pink stripes on top and bleu elephants on the bottem... Does that felfil yuor curiesity?!"
"Actually, no. How do you know all this?"
"We had a sleepover party. Playd truth or dare and had a pillew fight."
"You what..?!"
"Get into the goddem fait, yuo imbecail!!"
"Hey, guys?" suddenly Monketh interrupted them. "How about a little help here?" The two turned in his direction, just to see their friend leaning against the wall, now covered with many a wound. "And Faldrok..." Monketh continued. "Seperot is pulling your leg. They're blue."
"We better speed up lest they catch the storymaker!" exclaimed Draklar.
"Gotcha!" Karyuu grinned, exposing her sharp teeth. From her equipment she pulled out a large axe.
"Wait, wait, wait." Draklar stopped "What's that?"
Karyuu blinked. "A battle-axe?"
"And just about what do you think you're going to do with it?"
"Um. Chop the bad guys..?"
"I'm afraid I cannot let you do that."
Karyuu arched an eyebrow. "Oh, this gotta be good."
Draklar grabbed the axe. "In the vital chase scenes it's only the main heroes who are to use the flashy weapons."
"So what am I supposed to kill them with? My cold stare?" The Enkidukai rolled her eyes.
"Hero sidekicks may use this." He handed her a stick.
"Ohh, a stick! Well thank you so much!" Karyuu cherished the stick. "How many battles would have been lost if it wasn't for the mighty short sticks! How many warriors would wind up in oblivion if no stick protected their dear lives! How many tales have been thus far told about the brave deeds of the stick-bearers!"
"Glad you like it." Draklar smiled.
"Have you gone mad?! It's a fricking stick! What in the name of Verrliit's dirty socks do you expect me to do with it? Am I supposed to use it to poke people all the way until they get bored and go away?! Or maybe throw it at them and run away screaming like a little girl, should they refuse to trip over?!" Karyuu panted for a while. "What kind of fighting value do you think it has?!"
"...It's pointy."
She mock-gasped. "It's pointy, he says! Well that changes so much, really Draklar. Thank you for enlightening me with those grand words of wisdom. What darkness would I befall into should you not bring this utmost important fact upon my petty mind?! Thank you! Thank you so much!"
Draklar blinked. "...You're welcome"
Karyuu continued. "Hey! I'm Draklar and I am the master of EVERYTHING! My knowledge is superior! I should be PRAISED! Without me, your community will DIE! Your fees are KILLING Planeshift! BLAH BLAH BLAH! LOOK AT ME, I HAVE TEETH AND EAT STUFF!"
Draklar threw a glare at Karyuu. "You know what? I don't think you're really thanking me at all. In fact, I think under all those kind words you're hiding something that is less as much kind. It seems you aren't ready to wield the power of the stick." Said that, he took back the stick.
"I chant beleiv these imbeicales, cant do nothing wrong," said Seperot while checking his set of katanas. "Haev to do evrything on my own... Lets see now..." He began inspecting one after another. "Darklaw, Suzy, Darkwhite, Mike, Darksteel, Bobo, Darkbatnativyl, Diana... Ah, here it is... the Darkstorm Blade!"
"So, Faldrok, isn't it?" Unitearica smirked. "Do you too want to have your ass kicked, or would you like to pull back?"
"What I'd like to do," answered Faldrok. "Is to introduce you to my little friends." Said that, he pulled out a bag of something.
"Candies?" Unitearica arched an eyebrow.
"Something of the sort, yes."
"Sugar Wh*res." Monketh chuckled. "Now you're done for."
"Sugar what..?" Unitearica turned back to Faldrok, just to see him spreading sugar from the bag all around himself.
"You know..." Unitearica shook his head. "You people never cease to fr--"
"Rise!" yelled Faldrok, giving a beginning to five Sugar Golems, which in fact looked like Kran models with changed textures.
Unitearica tilted his head. "Whoa..."
"He's... Mine!" Hearing these words, Dorbian turned around, but before he could react, Karyuu pounced onto him, pinning the beast to the ground.
"Good job, Kary!" said Draklar while passing next to the two. "You take care of Dorbian, while I go after Newpie!"
"Give me back my damn axe, Draklar!"
"No!"
"Well at least give me that stupid stick! ... Bah! Well finger to you too!" Karyuu slowly moved her eyesight down to Dorbian.
"I'm sorry, babe." Dorbian grinned. "You may be cute, but you're not dead enough for me."
Karyuu arched an eyebrow.
"Though we can change that!" Said that, Dorbian pushed Karyuu with full force, getting her off from himself. After a while both slowly stood up.
Karyuu sighed. "Well I might just as well try it..." She started staring coldly at Dorbian.
"Iiiiiii!" screamed Under the moon while running away from Newpie.
"Come here, girlie." The beast grinned. "It's not going to hurt... Not me, at least..."
"Newpie!" He heard Draklar's voice from behind. "In the name of my axe, I order you to cease your foul chase after this poor sheeples soul! Here and now, hear my words! There will be no shaft between you and me,"
Newpie arched an eyebrow.
"but cold and sharpened STEEL! By the power of blood and all that is righteous, I shall swing my blade with might! I shall sweep the dirt off this world! I shall right all wrongs! In this day, I shall put an end to your filthy life! So. Are you ready to die?!"
"Are you ready to see my Stuff?!" answered Newpie.
"Wha..?" Draklar arched an eyebrow.
"Here goes!" Newpie rapidly moved his hands to his pants.
"No, no!" Draklar covered his eyes. "Don't do that!"
"Dingily, dingily, dong! Look at me Draklar! I'm Stuffing all around!"
"Stop this at once, Newpie! ... Newpie? ... Newpie, are you there..?"
"Why are you staring at me like that, Kary?" Dorbian tilted his head. "Is it because I pushed you, or something?" He winced, but Karyuu was still staring coldly at him. "What?! Was me calling you babe offensive in any way? Or is it about myself wanting to kill you? C'mon, you know I didn't really mean it... You know, right? ... ... Oh c'mon!! What do you want from me? I only did it, because Seperot asked me to! Look, I'm not really a bad guy. I just, you know, like to play one... Why can't we just shake hands and get all along? ... ... What?! What else do you want me to say? I'm sorry, okay?! I won't do that again! I'm really, really sorry, Karyuu! Oh ffs! This is getting REALLY retarded, you know? ... Screw you guys, I'm going home..." Said that, Dorbian walked away.
Karyuu arched an eyebrow. "What the hell just happened?" She blinked... twice. "Draklar!" Said that she rushed onward.
"Neeeewpie... I know you're there. Standing all naked and stuff... Stuff, I mean. You won't trick me into uncovering my eyes!"
"Draklar..." Karyuu scratched her head. "What in heaven's name are you doing..?"
"No Karyuu! Don't look!"
"Wha?"
"Cover your eyes, now!!"
She did as he said. "So why are we playing hide and seek now?"
"Newpie is exposing his Stuff."
"I beg your pardon?"
"His... equipment."
"Eh?"
"You know, pee-wee..."
"..."
"Penis, Karyuu! He's showing his penis!"
"Drak..." Karyuu uncovered her eyes.
"Yes?"
"I assure you Planeshift models don't have private areas implemented... yet."
For a while standing motionless, Draklar then slowly moved his hands away from his eyes.
"Drak..?" Karyuu tilted her head, seeing Draklar's blank stare. After a while he started slightly shaking. "Drak?!" She moved a bit away as he clenched his fists and rage started covering his face.
"Newpie..." he growled.
"Oh boy..."
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Update after one and a half year \o/
It's hard to make up funnies in these scenes, since Matrix at this point is all action and stuff. But believe me, I try!
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Wow...! It's... Planetrix!
Good job Draklar! Next chapter please!
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I approve of this... although i would like a "little" less spelling error's on my part please...
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Wow...you know...I've never read this.
I'll start at the beginning in a couple days.
And More spelling errors for Seperot! :P
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So you found back this quill of yours... 'twas about time! :D
*throws wibbles*
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You managed to revive Cad! Truly, this is a wonderous piece of literature. And a hilarious one.
Welcome back, Draklar \o/
josePhoenix
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(http://img246.imageshack.us/img246/3500/squeejf6.gif)
Wibble.
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;D ;D ;D
That's great Drak' :thumbup:
Hello everybodyyyyyy, been ages !!
Yop Cad, lost Ur e-mail :'(
how to pm you ? :detective:
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Nice, first post since 4 years and it is made in my story thread. I'm honoured, Abaddon ;)
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/me reads and smiles
Good job Draklar!
And now, Karyuu, we need more pictures of you in the Planetrix ;)
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Hello everybodyyyyyy, been ages !!
Yop Cad, lost Ur e-mail :'(
how to pm you ? :detective:
Ages? Eons!
Glad to see you're still alive and kickin' :)
You can't send PM's until you have 10 posts or so I've been told (and Tavern posts don't count here, sadly enough). You can send me an email at cadripper/hotmail.com though, I'll watch out for you.
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Draklar, my friend, you deserve far better than an old (eons aged !! :sorcerer:) wanderer's humble presence !
But I can see that you're in a nice company ! :thumbup:
\\o// *Starting the Cad'dance* :sweatdrop:
Hihihihi... I don't mind that keeping in the tavern doesn't allow PMing, as long as the ale is as great as it used to be !!
Kadaaaaa, please, pretty please, I'm completely dryyyyy *hic*
Hydromel for us all in the room !!
It's great to see you again, buddies \\o// \\o//
*Sits down and listens attentively to the story teller, with his barrel next to him*
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/me reads and smiles
Good job Draklar!
And now, Karyuu, we need more pictures of you in the Planetrix ;)
/me glares at ThomPhoenix
Those pictures are for me <.<
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Chapter X
One of the Sugar Golems started thrusting its fists at the still confused Ylian. Dodging several blows, Unitearica finally jumped back and made an attempt to analyse the situation.
"How do you like my sweeties?" Faldrok grinned. "They're quite handy, I should say. And quite tasty, should you try them." He licked one of the creatures.
The Sugar Golem giggled.
"You disgust me." Unitearica straightened up.
"I disgust you? Tell me, Uni'o. What did Draklar's group offer you to eat? Hmm? Fish? Lemons?"
"...Something like that, yes."
"And could you remind me what Kwartz does with those lemons?"
Unitearica shuddered. "Where are you heading, Faldrok?"
"While you barbarian kind eat filthy fish and lemons, here I taste the food of the kings! Sugar, Uni'o! Sugar!" Faldrok glanced at one of the golems. "Oh what thrill fills myself, when delicious caramel drops down from their heatening sugar bodies! What pleasure enthralls me when I lick their--"
"Enaf!" shouted Seperot, standing on a tall, might-encrusted stone and having his cloak, of colour blacker than the blackest black, flapping on the wind, while in his background, dreadful, will-shattering lightning pierced through the thick air with might.
"wtf Sep?!" asked Faldrok.
"Wat now?!"
"What's with all the flashy stuff?"
"Their my cinematic efects, idiet!"
"Okay, but the lightning?!"
"Waht abaut it?"
"We're in a goddamn cave!"
"And youre point is?"
"My point is you're a moron!"
"Thats it!" Seperot jumped down and thrusted his katana into Faldrok's body, thus piercing his kidney. He then twisted it and pulled up, sheding Faldrok's blood all around. Before the body would fall to the ground, Seperot also swinged his sword at Faldrok's neck, swiftly cutting off his head. "Whos the maroon now?!"
Faldrok blinked. "ffs, Seperot! You used the /me command!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"You people are a bunch of idiots. You do realise that, right?" Unitearica interrupted them.
Seperot turned to the Ylian. "This idiet wil cost you moer then ever costed you remark pointed at someoen else or for that metter youreself and had it idiet in that..."
"What?"
"Thats right!"
Three golems charged at Unitearica. After several evasive moves, the Ylian thrust his sword into one of the creatures. To his dread, it didn't seem to affect the golem much, while himself, he couldn't pull the weapon out. Monketh picked up an axe and charged at the enemy. He swinged the weapon, yet Unitearica was quick enough to move away from the line of the blow, which instead ended in body of the golem. Using Monketh's confusion, Unitearica smashed his nose with an elbow, pulled out the axe and used it to hack through the golem's leg, thus tripping over the large creature.
"Come out and Stuff!" yelled Newpie.
"N-no! Leave me alone!" Under the moon remained hidden behind a rock, rapidly searching for something in his bag.
Before he could react, Newpie took the bag away and looked inside. "Books, paper, Stuff. This Stuff won't be of any use where you're going." He reached for Under the moon.
"Not so fast!" Draklar growled from behind. Before Newpie could do anything, the Enkidukai gripped his neck and threw away from the storymaker.
"What?" Newpie stood up. "You want to see my Stuff again, Draklar?" He moved his hands to his pants.
"Why don't you Stuff this?" Draklar swinged his axe, hacking it into Newpie's crotch. The beast crashed.
"Ugh..." Karyuu blinked. "So what now?"
"We need weapons, lots of weapons."
"Ohh, and let me guess! Karyuu will get a bright new shiny stick!"
"Don't be silly, you're not ready to wield the power of he stick."
"Oh for gods' sake, Draklar! It's no longer a 'vital chase scene', I can be given a normal weapon!"
"Fine, fine. But we have to hurry, before the beasts return."
"Return? But we got rid of them."
"No. No matter how much one would wish them away, they will always haunt this place. We need to reach the lockers before they find us."
"...Lockers?"
"Hey, hero!" yelled Seperot, immidietely drawing Unitearica's attention. "Catch this!" said that, Seperot launched against him a set of C4 explosives.
The Ylian hacked his axe into a nearby sugar golem and pulled it to himself, thus setting the creature in the way of the explosives. The golem caught the bomb and Unitearica pushed the creature away, just before the C4 would explode, sending sugar particles all over the place.
Seperot arched an eyebrow. "...phooey."
Another golem charged at Unitearica, but before it would get close enough to attack, the Ylian threw his axe, hacking it into golem's head. Unitearica jumped onto the confused creature, and sitting on its shoulders, tried to get out his weapon. Yet another golem charged in their direction. It aimed at the Ylian and thrust its feast, but not until after Unitearica pulled out the axe and rolled down to the ground. The golem instead smashed head of the second creature.
"Nice job," said Seperot.
"Nice? I bet you wouldn't do it half as well."
"Why dont we see for oursalves?" Seperot greeted Unitearica.
Unitearica was about to greet him back, but before he would type the command, Seperot knocked him down with a thrusting kick.
"See? Hes just a roelplayer!" He got his katana ready and approached the Ylian.
"Here we are," said Draklar after reaching another sector of the dungeon.
"And where are the lockers?" Karyuu approached him together with Under the moon.
"Right here!" He pointed at a set of three large lockers.
"They're huge! Has no one EVER noticed them?"
"Nay, I've hidden them cleverly." Draklar pointed at large 'FAQ' letters written on them.
"...Go figure."
Draklar opened one of the lockers and started gathering the weapons.
Karyuu shrugged and opened another one.
"moOOoo," she heard from inside.
"Drak..? There's, uh... a person in here..."
"What? Afrix? Just leave it there."
"..." Karyuu blinked.
":3"
"Nevermind, I don't want to know."
":o"
Karyuu closed the locker.
"Step away from the lockers!" yelled Dorbian.
Draklar smirked. "Already back, Newpie?"
">:|" answered the beast.
"I do believe, we have an unfinished business in here." Said that, Dorbian drew a sword.
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I need no more proof about it, specially due to the fact there's a visual evidence that it's a delusion...
Planetrix general fault of doom - 0F0114A1C (http://hydlaa.com/smf/index.php?topic=27598.msg314172#msg314172)
(http://i141.photobucket.com/albums/r75/tl3c7y/shot02.jpg)
Some people are trying to free those poor victims from it.
The reality now is a much more complete game full of Guild Wars where "leet guilds" rule everything :P
What we see isn't real.
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Jay for more \o/
For real though...I don't spell that bad :/
I just have crappy grammar :P
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lies sep and you knows it :p
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Great stuff my old Friend! Fun times and good... times! I would tell you live but seeing as to how "they" are trying to exterminate teh Link....
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You should completely ignore the rantings of this madman. He is clearly a lunatic. There are no "they", and no one is being "exterminated". There are no aliens either, and the Government is not being run by a pack of squids.
Majestic 12 does not exist. And neither does Quakenet.
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Link, glad you like it :)
And yeah, silly what you were banned for, but the community is sensitive over everything now so those of us who stay around have to simply live with it :P