PlaneShift
Fan Area => Roleplaying (Communitive Storywriting) => Poetry, Comedy, and other. => Topic started by: Under the moon on July 02, 2005, 12:17:53 am
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Scene One.
~This is sooo not happening~
Moogie sits at her computer after a hard day of...whatever she does, just coming in from outside. The day is dark and stormy, the humidity high. The wind was terrible, and the hot water just went out. The perfect conditions for a Bad Hair Day of epic proportions. And so it is. We join Moogie in mid grumble...
"Grrr, I hate my hair."
The hair doesn't answer, just sits there all in red tangles, a brush caught on one side, a random twig from a low flying branch on the other. She gives the brush one last tug in a vain attempt to fix the mess. The brush refuses to budge.
"I hate you! The girls in the stories never had bad hair days. It never goes, 'once upon time there was a Lady who had everything she wanted, except for her stupid, STUPID hair!' I should just shave you off! How would you like that??"
Again, the hair doesn't answer, apparently not listening. But there is someone who is listening. Deep in the bowels of her computer, ears prick up. For what Moogie did not realize, is that due to power surge while downloading the latest patch for PlaneShift, and the moon lining up just perfectly with the third ring of Saturn, something came alive. More than one something, in fact. Due to quantum doubling effects, and a random glitch in the magic coding, the entire character list of PS was given life, now residing magically in the copper wiring, twisted and warped. Also unknown, one of the beings grew more powerful than the others, gobbling up all the noobs and converting them to his will. He listens, for he had a secret love. He loved... Moogie's hair. Fear of baldness had started it, but it had become an infatuation. He wanted it. And all she had to do is say the right words.
"Oh, all that is great and powerful," Moogie said, raising hands above her head, "Take this snarled mess away from me!"
The listeners sigh in disappointment. Those where not the words. It didn't even start with "damnit". Moogie gives a painful jerk on the twig.
"Damnit! I wish I was a Fenki with no hair, so I didn't have to worry about bad hair days."
The listeners sit up. Those were the exact right words! What are the chances? Wind pushes the window open, rushing into the room. Voices chitter madly in the corners as the lights flicker and die. The bed throws itself against the ceiling, then crashes against the wall. Moogie shrieks. Come on, you all would if this happened to you, even the guys, give her a break. A dark shadow rises up in the center of the room, its hair a tall crown.
"Who are you, what do you want?" Moogie whimpers.
"Who I am does not matter Moogie, and I already have what I want."
The shadow holds out his hand. In it is Moogie's hair. She feels the top of her head. Smooth as a silk bowling ball.
"What did you do?!"
"You asked that you had no hair. I made you as bald as a fishbowl."
"Give it back, you git!"
"Um, no. But you can be my slave forever, combing my beautiful hair every day, talking to it, soothing it, and you get this." The figure holds out a snow globe.
"What is it?"
"It is a snow globe, nothing more, nothing less. But if you turn it this way?"
"It will show me my dreams?"
"No, it just looks pretty...see?" The figure turns it to demonstrate.
"It is kinda pretty. But let me get this straight...I will be your bald slave forever, and in return, I get a snow globe that doesn't actually do anything. Seems fair."
"Really?"
"No."
"Oh. How about a cookie?"
"Are you serious?"
"No, I don't have a cookie. But I can get one!"
"Don't bother."
"Ok...um...how about I...um...turn you into...um...an...Enki?"
"Can you do that?"
"Look down."
Moogie looks down?and screams. This figure holds his ears.
"I wish you would stop doing that."
Now, if you could see Moogie, you would know why she screamed. Instead of her usual body in her usual room with her usual clothing, she is now a snow white Fenki, with a Fenki body, standing on the green grass of a wide field, complete with the standard Fenki garb texture. Which is to say, not much. She drops into a crouch, trying to cover herself.
"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" The voice is no longer Moogie's of the real world. It is now that of Moogie the Fenki, of Yliakum. And it is quite panicked.
"I granted your wish."
"I never wished for this!"
"Really?"
"Well...maybe once or twice. But that is not the point! Turn me back!"
"Sorry, only one wish per day. Guild rules. You are going to have to work for this one."
"I am not going to be your slave!"
"No, no. That was my wish. If you really want to be...you again -with your hair- you must travel through the Stone Labyrinths to my castle beyond the Nooblin city."
"That shouldn't be so hard. We don't have very big maps yet."
"It is farther than I can possibly imagine."
"You?"
"Well...you see, I never actually traveled the whole way. I found a glitch that...er...never mind. But the point is, it is a long way, you only have thirteen hours, twenty-seven minutes, and eight and a half seconds starting...now. Oh, and I disabled Auto-run. Farwell Moogie. Such a pity."
Despite his words, the man does not do any cool fade out. He just stands there.
"Um...you're still here."
"No I'm not."
"Yes...you are."
"Well...um...my glitch doesn't seem to be working, so...if you don't mind, close your eyes. Please?"
Moogie closes her eyes. After the brief sound of running, she opens them to find the man vanished.
"Bravo...creep." I hope the sarcasm of that is not lost on any of you.
Moogie, now quite alone, stands in the field and looks around. High above is the Azure sun, and all around where the mist doesn't obscure them, are the sides of the cavern. Nearby, two huge bronze doors stand closed.
"Ah well, might as well get started."
Moogie tries to take a step but her new powerful legs and stilt-like feet toss her to the ground in a heap.
"Grrr... this is going to take some getting used to. Hey! I have a tail! That is sooo weird!"
Indeed, a snow white tail waves from under her. The tail flicks in irritation as Moogie tries to get up, and fails. She can't help but giggle. Amused at the antics of her newfound tail, it takes a bit for her to hear the sound of coarse, out of tune humming coming from near the Bronze Doors.
[[Anyone else who wishes to be in this story, speak now or hit me with a size 14 shoe.]]
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You\'re evil! :D
That\'s great, Under the moon, I\'m looking forward to more!
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Amazing.. ;)
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:D yes, very nice, very interesting. no one seems to want themsleve up for the same treatment though.
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[[That's no problem, Drey. I have no qualms about...er...kiddnapping other's characters ;) And maybe I am a bit evil. :evil: I just do what the voices tell me. :D ]]
Scene Two
~Is that your face, or did a hairy wart just talk to me?~
Moogie struggles to her feet, finaly finding the center of balance of her new body. She walks -carefully- towards the sound of the tuneless humming, every step threatening to dump her on her face again. The humming is further than first expected.
"My hearing must be better too."
But finally, she sees the source. A dwarf stands next to the doors, relieving himself on the wall. With expert precision, he finishes off what he is writing.
'Valbrandr'
Moogie clears her throat. Valbrandr jumps and turns, luckily for us all, with his trouser texture 'zipped'. Little bad compiling humor there. Don?t mind me. The dwarf is hideously ugly. The kind of ugly to make small -and large- children cry, and dogs to run for the horizon, never to be seen again.
"Oh, 'scuse me, miss. I din'a think yad be here sa soon. Too much ale."
Moogie swallows hard at the man's horrible visage, then looks at the long name on the wall.
"I can see that. You where expecting me?"
"That ah was Miss Moogie. Xordan said ya'd be har."
"That was Xordan? I thought he would be taller."
The dwarf raised what might be an eyebrow, but says nothing.
"Well, I did. So, how does this work?"
"How'es what work?"
"The doors."
"What 'bout em?"
"How do they open?"
"How'es whut open?"
"You're not helping me."
" 's not meh job."
"Then what is your job?"
"Ta answer teh right question."
"So what is the right question?"
"How do I git in the Labyrinth? Hiy, ya tricked meh!"
Moogie looks at the odd little man with a look of bafflement.
"Sooo, how do I get in the Labyrinth?"
"Ya ask meh to open the doors."
"Well, will you open the doors for me?"
The dwarf walks over and pushes the doors open. Moogie frowns.
"I could have done that much myself."
"But ya din'a think uf that now did ya?"
Moogie shakes her head, rolls her large cat eyes, and walks between the doors. It is dark inside, but she can still see.
"Cool."
Not so cool, though, is the fact that the path splits.
[[Ok, waiting on a decrepit lemur]]
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*hits under the moon with a size 14 shoe*
ill be in any story you want :D
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*Is knocked out by the shear force of Taser\'s throw. Won\'t be posting till he wakes up.]]
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Getting better each time.. Crap I can\'t stop laughing.. :D
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Wow, this just suddenly appeared and it\'s already two chapters in, and... it\'s brilliant :D It had me in stitches right from the very beginning with the hair ignoring my rants. :P Keep it up, I love it! :D
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that was so funny it hurt :D
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Scene Three
~And this makes you happy how?~
Mooige steps up to the split, her way cool cat vision not giving any sign as to which is the right way.
"Sa, which way ya gun'a take?"
Moogie jumps at Valbrandr sneaking up on her, then promptly falls on her face.
"Damnit! Don't do that!"
"Be carful whutcha 'damnit' for. It may just come true."
Moogie glares at the dwarf. The dwarf glares at the dark. The Dark doesn't glare, as it is too busy thinking of more important things, and dark can't glare anyways.
"So which way would you go Valbrander?"
" 'ts Valbrandr, more uf a 'drrr' than a 'der'. An ah wonit go niether way.'
"Why not?"
"Caus thars no ale."
"You're not being any help."
"Ah all'edy said that's not meh job."
"Fine, if you are not going to help, you might as well bugger off."
The dwarf vanishes in a poof of smoke, the Bronze Doors slam shut. Moogie blinks and slowly gets to her feet.
"Did I do that?"
"No."
Moogie jumps, falling on her face again.
"Damn legs! Who said that?"
"I did, like it matters."
Moogie looks around, sagely staying seated in case someone decides to startle her again. She finds the source of the grumpy sounding voice. I seems to be the head of a very old decrepit Lemur sticking out of a small hole in the wall. A hole too small for the head to fit through. A drip of water lands on his head. She stares at the Lemur.
"Stop staring. It's rude."
A drip of water lands on his head.
"I'm sorry, but I was trying to figure out how you got your head there."
A drip of water lands on his head.
"That's rude also. Stop it."
A drip of water lands on his head.
"What is rude?"
"Trying to reason the private motivations of a person or persons-- A drip of water lands on his head, --that you have just met without proper or formal introductions. And you are still staring."
A drip of water lands on his head.
Moogie looks at the dark, which does'?t seem to mind staring. Due to the people she has already met, she comes to a startling conclusion, luckily, she is already sitting. She also hears drip of water land on his head.
"You must be Phinehas."
The Lemur gives a grumpy grunt. Along with the sound of a drip of water landing on his head.
"Who divulged that information to you?"
":Um, I just guessed."
Drip.
"Stop guessing, it is.."
"It's rude. I know. Is there anything that isn't rude?"
Drip.
"Going away."
Moogie looks back at the soaked lemur, her tail flicking in irritation. She resists the urge to giggle at it.
Drip.
"Now that was rude, Phinehas."
"When you get to my age, you can be as rude as you want."
Drip.
"You're only twenty-three!"
Phinehas raises his thin eyebrow.
"Your point?"
Drip.
"Never mind. Do you enjoy that?"
"What?"
Drip.
"That."
"Immensely."
"How can you like it," she pauses for a *drip*, "It would drive me nuts."
"The minds of the weak can never truly comprehend the fathomless depths of the thoughts that go through the mind of a true genius."
Drip.
"You're stuck, aren't you?"
"No, inferior cat."
Drip.
Moogie raises an eyebrow. "Really?"
":Lying is rude."
Drip.
"Phinehas, you are rude."
"Fine, I'm stuck. Now go away."
Drip.
"Can you tell me which way to go? You could be a little nice for once."
"Don't go either way."
"I already got that advice. It didn?t help."
Drip.
"But did he say to take the third path?"
Moogie looks around.
Drip.
"There isn't a third path."
"There very well is. A texture glitch is covering it. It is right over there."
Drip.
Moogie gets up -slowly- and walks to where Phinehas indicated.
Drip.
"I don't see anything."
"It is there, but you have to run through, *drip* or you will fall through the floor and go to the death realm."
"Ok, here goes?"
Moogie runs at the wall. Moogie hits the wall and bounces off. Phinehas laughs.
"Now that was funny!"
Drip.
"You ass! You lied!"
"No I didn't. You just missed the hole."
Drip.
"You are a liar. You just want to see me hit my face again."
She picks up a rock and throws it at the wall. It vanishes. Drip.
"See, I told you. Next time you will listen to me."
"I did listen to you!"
Phinehas laughs as a drip hits his head.
"I'm glad you did. That was ever so funny."
"Grr. I"m out of here. One more thing though."
Drip. Moogie walks over to Phinehas and waits. Just as the next drop is about to hit, she catches it with a wicked grin.
Phinehas- "That is cruel!"
"I know. Ta."
Moogie runs at the wall and disappears to the reverberating sound of *drip*.
[[Isn't water torture fun? XD]]
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Scene Four
~How many monks does it take to?~
Surprisingly, for once, Moogie does not fall on her face.
"I must be getting used to this."
Her tail waves with pride. She giggles at it. Tails are funny, admit it. Moogie is now in a strange part of the Labyrinth, glowing moss abounds. 'Abounds' is such a cool word. I should use it more often. The paths twist this way and that.
"Now which way?" Moogie asks the empty cave. The empty cave actually answers back.
"Which way...which way...which way?"
The answer is not all that helpful, merely tossing her words back at her. Moogie sighs, the cave sighs back. Hey, this might be fun!
"I ROXORZ!"
"I ROXORZ...I ROXORZ...I ROXORZ..."
"WHOOHOO!"
"WHOOHOO...WHOOHOO...WHOOHOO..."
"Moogie is the BEST!"
"The BEST...the BEST...the BEST..."
"Xordan sucks!"
"Xordan sucks...Xordan sucks...Xordan sucks..."
"ABOUNDS!"
"BUUUURP!"
Moogie falls on her face. Now, you may be wondering why "burp" instead of "abounds". Well, for one thing, Moogie found a bug in the echo generator and crashed the ambient sound system. Also, there happens to be someone sitting on the ground a ways down the path. He wasn't there before, and I don't think we should go into why he is now. The point is, he is there, and he is a Diaboli. Moogie instantly recognizes him from his blood red robes.
"Tybalt? Is that you?"
"Sure is, sweet stuff."
"Sweet stuff?"
"You prefer 'Honey buns' instead?"
"Nooo?"
"Hot lips? Darlin? Muffin? Princess? Sweetheart? Lovely?"
"Um...no. How about just Moogie?"
Tybalt heaves a great put upon sigh.
"As you wish my beautiful Lady Moogie."
I don't know if Enkis can blush, but if she was in her human form, Moogie would be red as her missing hair.
"Um...aren't you supposed to be blind?"
"Ah, my Lady, blindness only enhances the beauty of a blushing rose. A flower in the hand is worth ten thousand in the field."
"Tybalt, behave yourself." Another voice comes from the side. Moogie did not see him there. He wears a smart suit vaguely reminiscent of 'Star Trek'. Yes I can say 'Star Trek'.
"You could only be Monketh."
Monketh bows.
"At your service, citizen. I believe you are trying to get to the center of the Labyrinth."
Moogie- "Yes. I am. Are you two going to be a help for once."
Monketh- "Yes...and no."
Moogie- "What do you mean?"
Tybalt- "Don't be so cryptic to the pretty lady. Come, sit with me and we'll discuss your options."
Tybalt pats the ground next to him.
Moogie- "I don't think so, Tybalt. I know how you 'see'."
Monketh laughs. "You forgot to input the proper passcodes, Monk. You aren't going to get anywhere with this one."
Tybalt- "I'll tell you where to 'input' your 'passcodes' spaceboy."
Monketh- "Anyday. I shall show you how we deal with your type in the Core."
Tybalt, getting up- "Bring it, tough guy!"
Moogie- "BOYS! Don't make me ban you."
The Red Monk and Monketh freeze, knowing full well she will do it.
Together- "Sorry, Moogie."
"That's better. Now, how are you going to help, or not help me?"
They look at each other. Monketh answers.
"Well, citizen, each of us has been given the duty of protecting a portal. One leads to where you want to go, the other..."
Moogie- "Bum, bum, bum-buum. Certain death?"
Tybalt- "No, worse. RuneScape."
All three shudder.
Moogie- "Um...I don't see any portals."
Tybalt- "Behind you, gorgeous."
Moogie turns to see two glowing blue portals behind her that were not there before. She turns back to see that the two men were looking at her posterior. Now, as you know, Tybalt is blind and has an excuse, but the other...
"MONKETH!"
"Sorry Ma'am."
Moogie- "You should be!"
Tybalt- "What?s going on? If Monketh gets to look, I should be able to..."
Moogie/Monketh- "TYBALT!"
Tybalt- "A man can dream, can't he?"
Moogie- "Not about me. Now which portal?"
The men look at each other.
Monketh- "We can't tell you."
"Why not?"
Tybalt- "Because one of us is real, and the other is not."
"What?"
Monketh- "Like he said. One of us is real, but both of us believe we are guarding the right portal. You have to figure out which is which."
"You have to be kidding. Aren't I supposed to trick you. Ya know, one of you always tells the truth, the other always lies?"
Monketh- "No dice, Ma'am."
"Crap."
Tybalt- "You could always come to my place and...think...about it.?
"I don't think I need to 'think' with you. I...wait...didn't you just leave PlaneShift?"
Tybalt- "Oh crap."
Tybalt disappears in a poof of smoke, as does his portal.
Monketh- "Very well played, Miss Moogie. On your way, now. Nothing to see here."
Moogie steps into the portal, and immediately begins falling.
[[Perhaps I should slow down? But then again, I am evil today.]]
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Very clever, very witty, very funny. :D More more!
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[[Very well. This one's a bit darker. ;)]]
Scene Five
~Close you eyes, I just got mooned~
Moogie falls through endless darkness before she hits the ground and, and you guessed it, falls on her face, stirring up a mass of dust.
*sneeze* "I am reeeeeeeeeeealy getting tired of that." *sneeze*
She looks around, realizing she can't look around. Why? Because it is too dark even for Enkis, that's why, dear reader. Come on, keep up.
"Why is it so dark in here?" she asks the dark.
The dark answers with a man's voice.
"This is the Role-play Forum. What did you expect?"
"Well...um...could you make it a little brighter?"
The dark- "That's what I've been trying to do, if anyone noticed."
"Well?"
The dark- "Fine. I like the dark, but here you go."
The room brightens. Old dusty books line shelves that surround the room. Most of them have 'unfinished' scrawled across the bindings. At one end of the room, a rather ordinary looking fellow in a button up checkered shirt sits on what appears to be a large chair made out of books. There also seems to be a half a dozen or more chess boards set up in front of him, odd pieces strewn over their surfaces.
The man- "Better?"
"Yes much. But Aren't you supposed to be Valbrander?"
The man moves one of the pieces. One of the books at his feet grows thicker. "That's 'drr' not 'der', Moogie. And yes, but he found some ale, and...well...you know dwarves.
Moogie- "You seem to know me, but who are you?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
The man looks behind him to the high back of the chair over his head. On it is a large blue full moon.
"Oh. So you're Under the moon. What, no character for once, Moon?"
Moon gives a one sided grin and moves another of the many pieces. The book grows thicker.
"I wouldn't say that."
"I see. So how are you supposed to help me?"
"I'm not." Moves a piece, the book grows.
"Oh come on. That's not fair."
Moon takes two pieces from a board and considers them for a moment. One is male, the other female. He puts them back down on separate boards that suddenly appear. Some pieces follow the female, but none the male. "Lotsa things aren't fair."
He moves a piece on the new board as a new book grows thicker.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm writing."
Moogie's tail flicks in irritaition.
Moon- "Nice tail."
"I?ve had quite enough of that from Tybalt, I don't need it from you."
Moon laughs. "Fair enough."
Moogie looks around the room. There is still no exit.
"Come on, not even a clue?"
"Nope."
"You have to know what's going on."
"Yup."
"Then help me."
"Sorry. Not gun'a happen."
"I am so going to ban you when I get back."
Moon grins, but then looks at his boards, not moving anything. His grin is gone as he leans back. Moogie steps closer, trying to peek at the pieces.
"What's wrong?"
"Stumped."
"I don't believe you." Moogie creeps closer.
"Nope, really stumped. Unless?"
Moon puts his hand over two of the pieces before Moogie can see what they were. She hears them tip over, and when he takes his hand away, the pieces are gone. The book doubles in size. "That hurt. You are going to hate it."
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"Never mind then. Aren't you supposed to be finding your way out of here? You only have about ten hours left."
"I could if you would...hey...how did you know that?"
Moon says nothing, but reaches down behind a pile of books to move something.
"What was that?"
Moon, trying to hide a smile- "Nothing."
"You are such a liar. What was it?"
Moon reaches down again.
"Have a look."
Moogie does, and sees an empty board. "What..?" She then sees something white poking out from the hand he reached down with. "What is that?"
"Um...nothing."
"Oh ho, I don't think so. Let me see."
"No."
"You are so going to give it to me!"
Moogie leaps across the table, scattering books and pieces everywhere, and forgetting to fall on her face. Moon jumps awkwardly to the side, but Moogie pounces him, knocking him on the floor. She grabs at his hand, but he hides it under the table.
"Give it!"
"Hell no!"
Moogie kneels on his shoulders and twists his other arm behind his back.
Moon- "No fair! Enkis are too strong."
"Lotsa things aren't fair," Moogie says, trying horribly to imitate his Wisconsin accent. "Now give it up, or you'll be writing with one arm from now on."
"Ok, ok, here.?"
Moon holds out his fist. Moogie puts her paw under it.
Moon- "See'ya Moogie."
He drops something. As it hits her paw, Moon vanishes along with the rest of the room. It is replaced by an odd sort of temple in the Stone Labyrinths. Moogie is kneeling one the ground -instead of Moon's shoulders. She looks at the piece in her hand. It is that of a white Fenki.
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you sure do write fast, without losing any of the goodness.
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*grins*
Very good indeed :)
Will be checking in ;)
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Noooo what have you done with Tataro\'s guild leader!!!
:( so sad... but must remember that he likes ale.
Keep it up /me collapses from lack of oxygen due to laughing that had been escalating in decibels at a highly unnerving rate while typing...
like all the errors, reminds of the Megaman Battle Network Series. We must avoid R$ at all costs!!!
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Scene six
~Not even if you had beads!~
"Moon, you ass."
Now, I don't know if Moogie normally uses such language, but I'm absolutely sure it applies here. Along with several other explicative statements I will not replete here, but Moogie does. Just assume you all went deaf for the next, ooh, five minutes. That should give her enough time?.
...
...
...
Let's see how she's doing, shall we"
"...dirty, no good, son of a..."
Um...how about ten minutes? Sound good to you? I thought so. Put your feet up, listen to some music, have a snack, use the restroom. I mean, she can't stay mad forever...can she?
...
...
...
Ok, lets give it another shot.
Moogie sits on the ground, the fur on her back standing straight up, but at least she is quiet. Maybe a little too quiet. The kind of quiet someone has while plotting the severe and painful demise of some poor unsuspecting soul...
Perhaps it is better if I end this tale now before anyone gets hurt.
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...aww i wanted to hear the end... *sniff*
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Scene six- take two-
~Not even if you had beads!~
OK, OK! Doen't kill me! I was only kidding. The tale goes on. Sheesh. You people have no sense of humor. We join Moogie as she sits on the ground in peaceful contemplation. Yes I said peaceful, now shut up.
Moogie looks at the small white Fenki figure in her hand. Uh...I guess she didn't forget about that, did she? Well, anyways, the sound of a very drunken dwarf makes her sit up suddenly.
"Awish Murglie! Hobish munfitre juw walshideiben?"
I said he was drunk, didn't I?
Moogie- "What did you say, Valbrander?"
"Ish Vahbrangj'r' nosh Valjemnd'er'. Ah doenish nowh eye juall peplsh cansh get iad riih."
"Damnit. I can't understand a word you're saying. Speak proper English."
"I told you to be careful what you 'damnit' for." Valbrandr says in perfect proper English.
Moogie does not fall on her face, but is very close to it.
"Now then, my Lady Moogie, how can I help you? With the proper bribing, I will do anything you wish...anything." The dwarf raises that thing that might be an eyebrow again, and winks with a semblance of an eye. Moogie looks with disgust at the horrible little man.
"What is with all you men? You'd think you never saw a girl before!"
"No then?"
"Of course not!"
"All right. What then?"
"Can you help me get to Xordan's castle."
"Well...as to that, he would not like that much. What have you to offer?"
Moogie goes to check her pockets...before realizing she has no pockets. As if the fenki garb had enough fabric to make pockets. All she has is the white figure, and she is not about to give that up.
"I don't have anything."
"Oh, I think you do." The dwarf nods towards Moogie's skimpy top.
"You pig!"
"No, not that. Look on the strap."
Moogie does. On it is tied a small ring.
"How did that get there? What is it?"
"It is your 'Ring of the Past'. You migrated it, remember? Tell you what. You give me the ring, and I will lead you part of the way out of the Labyrinth, get drunk and lost, and eventually lead us both to our terrible deaths amongst a den of glitching uber-rats."
"That's a bad plan."
"Ok. I'm all out of ideas. What do you suggest?"
"How about; I give you the ring, you help me get to the castle, and just to sweeten the deal, I won't ban you when I get back."
"Um...sounds fair. But no uber-rats? Not even one?"
"No."
"Ok, let's go."
Moogie /trades Valbrandr the ring. The dwarf takes the lead, but they only get a little ways before Moogie has to ask a question.
"Why are you so ugly?"
Blunt and to the point.
"Well, my mesh got a little messed up with the last update. The stupid client mixed up my mesh with a sound file. Either that, or I have a virus. Or maybe this is all a cruel joke by some sadistic writer making up a terribly written parody of a beloved classic Jim Henson movie."
Moogie- "Must be the virus. But wow you're ugly."
Valbrandr- "Well you are no Jennifer Connelly yourself."
Moogie- "I can still ban you."
Valbrandr- "Point taken. I am ugly. No banning?"
Moogie- "As long as you don't say anything 'suggestive' again."
Valbrandr- "Hey, I just thought of something."
Moogie- "What's that?"
Valbrandr- "He left out that 'helping hands' groping scene."
Long pause...
Moogie- "Don't remind him. And you're pushing it."
[[Kudos to anyone who gets the 'beads' reference. And shame on you.]]
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Lol! Very nice :) I love the \"RuneScape\" bit... :P
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I finally finished reading the entire thread Moon and all I can say is wow. Thanks for sending it to me, I could have missed out on it. Instead of echoing the comments of everyone else about your cleverness, I leave with a mere question: Why cant I be a handsome Dwarf? .... Aaa well... atleast you gave a good explanation in the story. Keep it up man.
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[[A short one this time. Don't worry, V, a miracle may happen.]]
Scene seven-
~I'll tell you where to stick it~
Moogie and Valbrand'r' walk a little farther, but a sudden loud voice makes her stumble in surprise. Luckily for her, she does not fall on her face. Unluckily -for the dwarf, anyways- she falls on his. Oh, I suppose you wish to know what that loud voice was, and more importantly...what it said. Very well, as I see no reason to keep it a secret.
"IMPORTANT!"
Moogie- "What?!"
Valbrandr-........
Moogie, getting up- "What did you say Valbrandon?"
Valbrandr- "It's 'DRR', 'DRRRRR', not 'don' or 'der' or whatever! And I said get off my FACE!"
Moogie- "Well sorry. But you startled me."
Valbrandr- "I didn't startle you, they did."
Loud voice- "IMPORTANT!"
The loud voice seems to be coming from a large red stone face stuck on the top of a wall. There seems to be quite a few of them. Their eyes follow Moogie's every move in a very creepy way.
Moogie- "That's very creepy. What is it?"
Loud voice coming from a red stone face stuck on the wall- "IMPORTANT! README FIRST!"
Valbrandr- "Oh those. Those are just stickies. You find a lot of them around PlaneShift. Just ignore them, everyone else does."
[[new update to the is parody. For those of you who did not see the old forums, 'Stickies' all had IMPORTANT in big letters before the topic. Now, back to editing]]
"Hey! I wrote some of those, you know."
"Actually, I didn't. I never paid them much attention either."
Sticky- "IMPORTANT! CRYSTAL BLUE ERRORS!"
Moogie- "Well you should. They are there for a reason."
Sticky- "IMPORTANT! Community Questions: "What Will/Are/Do You...?"
Valbrandr- "Right. I will read them all...well...actually, I'll just pretend I did."
Moogie- "You know, you are very honest."
Sticky- "IMPORT...."
Valbrandr- "Oh shut up. No one is going to read you."
Sticky- "But it's my job. And no one reads me anymore. Just a little? I'll even whisper. Please...please, please, please, PLEASE, please??
Moogie- "Just let it talk. I can't stand to hear a Sticky beg. It's embarrassing."
Sticky, continuing- "...PLEASE, please, please, please..."
Valbrandr- "FINE! Just say it and SHUT UP!"
Sticky, after a pause- "Um...now I forgot what I was going to say..."
Moogie/Valbrandr- .........
Sticky- "Oh yes! Now I remember. Ehhem..."
Sticky, loudly and dramatic-like- "IMPORTANT! All Characters Will Be Wiped in the Near Future."
Valbrandr- "You said you were going to whisper."
Sticky, whispering- "sorry"
Moogie- "I think that one was read too much. I don't know how many 'Wipe' threads I locked. Can we go now?"
Valbrandr- "Might as well. But you stickies be quiet, or Moogie will delete you. Understand?"
All the stickies- ..........
"Good. Let's go, Moogie."
*pink pink pink*
Moogie- "What was that?"
*pink pink pink*
Valbrandr- "Uh oh."
-
Originally posted by Under the moon
...Moon puts his hand over two of the pieces before Moogie can see what they were. She hears them tip over, and when he takes his hand away, the pieces are gone. The book doubles in size...
Which two, I wonder.
I bet that hurts, Moon...
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[[So you caught that? And yes, it does, very much so. When the time comes, you will know it. =( ]]
Scene eight.
~And me without my flyswatter~
Monketh stands all by himself, watching people come into the thread. He holds out his hand to stop them.
"Sorry citizens, the update to this story is not yet finished, but the writer felt he needed to respond to that last post. I am calling an official intermission. Please move along. Nothing to see here."
He takes down the 'Scene eight ~And me without my flyswatter~' sign for later use.
[[Just out of curiosity, how many of you have rushed out to re-watch the movie 'The Labyrinth'?]]
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rushed out? Well reading it again if thats what you mean ;)
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Now this one makes me think Moon is trying to tell us something... and wasn\'t David Bowie in the Labyrinth?
Moon takes two pieces from a board and considers them for a moment. One is male, the other female. He puts them back down on separate boards that suddenly appear. Other pieces follow the female, but none the male. ?Lotsa things aren?t fair.?
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I thought that too, but can only think it has something to do with his stories, which... *glances around nervously for angry charging Arniguses* ...I still have yet to read. x.x
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Hahahaha!!!!! This is absolutely brilliant! I totally cracked up when I read about Phinehas! You\'re the best!
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[[@All> Thank you all so much! I am glad you are enjoying it. We had a huge fireworks party and I haven't slept for 24 hours, so the next installment may be a while whilst I recover.
But Moogie, Derwoodly, and Ayshe are on to something. Ayshe perhaps knows more, having read the first 'Chain of Souls', which the sepparation part has to do with. The peices tipping over and vanishing though, I have yet to write. ;) But the question is...who? :( That is a secret I will not reveal. You will all just have to wait until it is written. [[as of this edit, still not written, but will be...someday.]]
ps. Arnigus is not in CoS....yet.]]
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Ahaha, lol, ... *cough*
*cough*Whoah Moon you Villian I nearly died because of lau*cough*ghing,
Fun aside, I really nearly wet my pants at the r?nescape bit,
((come on do you really have no use for me in your story :blink:))
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[[In five more installments. ;) ]]
Monketh comes back out and pounds the sign back into the ground, using his special field *edit* kit.
Monketh- "As you were, citizens."
Scene eight.
~And me without my flyswatter~
Moogie yells at the sky- "It's about damn time! Do you know how long you left us standing here listening to 'pink pink pink...?!"
Valbrandr- "I concur. I don't care if you haven't had a nap in over forty hours, making people wait is rude."
The sky does not answer, being far to busy idly playing with a few clouds and enjoying the warmth of the bright sun drifting slowly across said sky.
Moogie- "Fine, if you don't want to answer, you can just...wait...why is there a sky? And a sun? This isn't part of the PS setting. Weren't we just in an 'odd temple'?"
Val- "He is obviously delusional from lack of sleep, I mean, look at all the typos."
The sky disappears rather quickly, suddenly, swiftly and any other synonyms meaning something being changed in hope that casual observers would not notice such a blatent mistack.
Val- "There's those typos again. Um...I seem to remember saying 'uh o'?. Shouldn't there be something to 'uh oh' about?"
Moogie- "Ya. Why did you say that? And why is your name just 'Val' now?"
Fine damnit. Just leave me alone. I'm tired. Moogie and Valbrandr stand as they where before, in the odd temple, in the Stone Labyrinths, in Yliakum, in the PS setting, in trouble.
Moogie- "I guess that explains the 'uh oh'."
*pink pink pink*
Valbrandr- "Uh oh."
Moogie- "That's being redundant. Holy crap! He just spelled 'redundant' without resorting to a spell checker!"
The sound in question comes from a kinda pretty snow globe bouncing across the flat stone floor.
Moogie- "Took you long enough to get to the point."
Moogie seems overly sarcastic. She suddenly loses the ability to read this, although it is quite uncertain why she could in the first place, as she never could before.
Valbrandr- "Like I said, you're delusional"
Valbrandr also suddenly loses the ability to read it, leaving them both completely in the dark.
Moogie- "Hey! Who turned out the lights?!"
The lights come back on, but the two of them...whatever... I'm too tired to cover everthing. Just go with me on this. The kinda pretty snow globe bounces over to a ragged heap of disgusting clothing that might be a person and hops into a mug grasped by a piece of the fabric.
Ragged heap of disgusting clothing that might be a person- "S'up?"
Moogie- "Not much."
Valbrandr- "Dido."
Ragged heap of disgusting clothing that might be a person- " 'Nothing' ? 'Nothing' , tra la la?"
Moogie, rolling her eyes in exasperation- 'Oh come on, now. If you're going to start quoting lines directly from the movie, you might as well go to bed. And before you say anything about me reading, he/it said that out loud, so it doesn't count. And third, it doesn't even make any sense! Neither of us even said 'nothing'."
Ragged heap of disgusting clothing that might be a person- "Um, excuse me?"
Moogie- "And another thing. Why did you pick me to be in your stupid parody? I'm sure I never gave you permission. Why not Kiva, or Karyuu, or I don't know... SOMEBODY? Why is it always me?"
Ragged heap of disgusting clothing that might be a person- "Hellooo?"
Moogie- "You just think you can grab whoever's character you want and do with it as you like. Who knows what you have been writing about us that you haven't been posting. I'm not sure I like the thought of that. I don't know what kind of sick sadistic things you are capable of writing?"
Valbrandr- "Ah...you prob'ly don't want to read his stories then. I think I see where he is going with the next one, and the last one had that one scene."
Moogie- "Hush! I'm ranting. Where was I? Oh yes. You try to make yourself look all intelligent and superior, but I'm sure more than one person on the forum can see through that. Just because people tell you that you are a great writer doesn't mean that you actually are. Did you ever consider that they may just be being polite? Your ego has been swelling from the moment you stepped on this forum. You think I don't remember that 'sea-sick' incident? And then saying that I owe you a post? I think you owe us and apology. Walking into the RP forum like you own the place, trying to insult all the guilds without their noticing? Oh yes, you think that we are all ignorant of the original reason behind your precious 'Sheeples'. And you got away with it too! And I make a little post..."
Ragged heap of disgusting clothing that might be a person- "HEY!! Are you ignoring me on purpose?"
Valbrandr- "Sorry, she's like that sometimes."
Moogie- .........
Moogie suddenly looks quite angry and annoyed as her voice ceases to make any noise.
Valbrandr, very very warily- "Uhh...you done Moogie?"
Moogie grinds her teeth...loudly. Whether this is an old habit or new may never be known except to those who knew Moogie before her bad hair day.
Ragged heap of disgusting clothing that might be a person- "Well, I'm tired of waiting. Do you have any idea how hot this ragged heap of disgusting clothing is? I'm sweating like a pig in here."
The ragged heap of disgusting clothing is thrown back revealing...a sweat soaked XORDAN! He pulls off a shower cap and his hair springs back to its normal luxurious proportions. He gives it an experimental shake, magically creating some wind for it to blow in. After another moment, he creates a full length mirror to gaze at himself in.
Valbrandr- "You look fine, pretty boy. Aren't ya supposed to be threatening us or something?"
Xordan, after one last fluff of his hair- "Oh yes...sorry, I almost forgot."
Valbrandr- "No problem."
Moogie- ..... Even though Moogie can't talk, she still gives that 'this is ridiculous' pose that all women are so good at.
Xordan- "It is getting kinda ridiculous. I mean, look at all you have written and you still haven't got to the point."
...
'''
The next character who attempts to read any thing after this sentence without permission immediately and infinitely painfully bursts into flame.
Xordan- "Ah...that doesn't sound pleasant. I don't like reading anyhow. Ah yes, on to the threats. Just what is that thing you have, Val?"
Valbrandr- "Um...well, it is a ring of the past that Moogie here gave me so that I would betray you and lead her to your castle and likely try to help defeat you in some horrible way."
Xordan- "You're very honest, you know. You are supposed to be leading her back out."
Valbrandr- "Well, I offered, but this ring was so damn tempting. If you have something better, I could probably try to trick her into following me back out to some horrible death."
Moogie, stomping her foot and realizing she can read this without bursting into flame, and can speak again if she promises not to rant anymore- ..............
Moogie raising her eyebrow as her tail flicks in irritation- ............
Moogie, as everyone waits impatiently- .........
Moogie, as....- "FINE! I promise! Happy now? All right, you two, I am right here. You can't just talk about plans in front of the person they are against."
Xordan- "Ok, I'll just threaten you outright. Val, if I find out that you have been helping Moogie again, I shall toss you straight into the Shallow Puddle that Will Make You Smell Somewhat Like Bananas for the Rest of Your Life...or Next Tuesday, Whichever Come First."
Valbrandr- "NO! Not that! Anything but the Shallow Puddle that Will Make You Smell Somewhat Like Bananas for the Rest of Your Life...or Next Tuesday, Whichever Come First! Please m'lord, have mercy!"
Xordan, distracted by his flowing hair- "What? Oh...forgot you were there. The threat stands...unless I'm busy or washing my hair or something. Then I'll probably let you off. By the way Moogie, how do you like my hair?"
Moogie- ?"hat isn't relevant! Stop combing your hair and pay attention! You are supposed to ask me what I think of your Labyrinth so far. Which is a real pain in the ass!"
Xordan, putting down the comb- "A piece of cake? Lets see how you like this slice."
Moogie- "One little rant...pleeeeease?"
Xordan ignores Moogie and tosses the kinda pretty snow globe down the hallway. It bursts into a cloud of very frightening looking black and gray swirling smoke. Xordan vanishes with a dramatic toss of his head, sending his hair out in long streamers.
Valbrandr, terrified- "OH NO! The Debuggers!"
Moogie- "What?!"
The smoke rushes forward.
Valbrandr- "RUN!"
They run, but Moogie suddenly laughs sardonically- "Oh, ha ha. Now I get it. Flyswatter...bugs. That was kinda lame, even for him. I wonder if he even knows what 'sardonically' means."
[[The above was a product of almost 40 hours of no sleep, burning eyes, not enough real food, a little bit of a sugar high- but not enough, that floating head feeling, just watching 'Batman Begins' with that funky theater smell, and I'm sure a few powerful mind controlling hexes thrown at me from Moogie.]]
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Bravo, I love the way you talk about Xordan and his hair. :D
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I only resent that he\'s the mage in all this. ;) Other than that, it\'s great.
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[[Um...well...I would like to apologise for that last post a little. I hope none of you really feel that way about me. But as I said, lack of sleep can do weird thinks to your mind. Or Moogies mind hexes are more powerful than I thought. ;) ]]
Scene...um...right. Nine it is.
~Never question authority...they don't know either...I guess~
Well, we left Moogie and the ugly little dwarf, Valbrandr, in another bad situation. It seems that someone has decided to debug this part of the Labyrinth. As you know, fixing one bug usually spawns ten more, and fixing those spawns another ten for each, and those...well you get the point. It's no wonder the Devs are grumpy. So, let's see if we can cheer them up a bit, shall we? We join the two very reluctant heroes in mid-run..
Valbrandr running and panting- "Why do *pant* we keep getting *pant* in these *pant* bad situations *pant, pant*?"
Moogie, at a slow easy jog- "You are really out of shape. So, what's so bad about the Debuggers?"
Valbrandr- "...*pant pant pant*..."
Moogie, sighing, not even work up a sweat- "Never mind. Oh, I see a side passage up there. If this follows the movie, I thing there should be a ladder or something to help us get out. This is getting easy."
Valbrandr- "...*pant pant pant grlack*..."
Moogie, stepping into the side passage as the Debugger fills the space she just left- "Yup, there's a ladder here. All we have to do is...Val?"
Valbrandr- *no answer*
Moogie, in a worried voice- "Val? Are you there? Don't tell me he kacked you just because I said this was getting easy."
Valbrandr- *still no answer*
Moogie, getting scared- "VAL, DAMNIT! Answer me!"
Valbrandr- "It?s a miracle! I'm handsome!!"
Valbrandr steps out of the swirling mass of dark smoke, and indeed, is one smokin' hot little man. Moogie's jaw drops.
Moogie- "Holy crap!"
Valbandr, grinning with an award winning smile and perfect teeth- "I'll take that as a compliment."
Moogie, getting a hold of herself- "Um...well...I guess you should. But damn! How did that happen? Why didn't you answer me?"
Valbrandr- "Well, as to that, I was dead."
Moogie- "WHAT!?"
Valbrandr- "Yup, dead as a doorknob. But you 'damnitted' me to answer, and since the dead can't answer, I was respawned. The Debuggers fixed my mesh with a few upgrades, you already gave me this way sexy proper English accent...the women don't stand a chance!"
He flashes that smile at Moogie. Moogie swallows. Hard.
Moogie- "Well, um...lets just go up the ladder before this becomes awkward."
Valbrandr- "After you, Moogie."
Moogie, eyes narrowed in suspicion- "I don't think so. You first."
Valbrandr grins even more winningly and heads up the ladder. Moogie pulls her eyes away forcibly with a few calming deep breaths. The dwarf's face was not the only thing improved.
Valbrandr, still climbing- "You going to follow, Moogie? I don't mind."
Moogie- "You have one dark sense of humor, Moon." shouting- "I think I'll wait till you get to the top."
Valbrandr, with a laugh, "Your loss." after a minute- "Ok, I'm up. You can look now."
Moogie sighs and starts climbing, mumbling something about sadistic writers under her breath. She comes to the top and blinks at the bright lights from hundreds of glowing crystals stuck in the walls. A large Kran sits atop an even larger crystal carved into the shape of a throne. A large Mexican style ten gallon -or perhaps that should be fifty gallon?- hat sits atop the Kran's head. A pretty Ynwnn female sits atop the Mexican style fifty gallon hat. All of them appear to be sleeping, though it is a bit difficult to tell with hats.
Valbrandr- "Well, here we are."
Moogie- "Who are they?"
Valbrandr- "Duno. But with the weirdoes we've met so far, I really think we should let them sleep."
The lighting in the room suddenly changes slightly, the shadows all shift. Something jumps out from behind the throne.
"YES!"
Moogie does not fall of her face or even stumble, as she is getting quite used to her new legs and being startled. She does however, let out a large- "Awwwwww! That's so cute!"
What per say, would have her give such a reaction? Well, the very cutest of gophers wearing a tiny tool belt and waving a itty bitty hammer triumphantly over its head.
Gopher- "I did it! The shadow coding works perfectly!"
Whether or not this is true, the tiny gopher?' exuberance wakes the Ynwnn on the hat, and quite possibly, the hat too, although it is hard to tell with hats. The Kran, however, continues to sleep soundly.
Ynwnn- "Jorrit! I'm trying to sleep here. Go work on something else."
Jorrit, the gopher- "Some of us have real work to do, Zayek. All you do is run around annoying people."
Zayek, snuggling back around the hat's huge brim- "Whatever. Wake me when you can do something cool."
Moogie- "You're Jorrit?! Why are you a gopher?! And what's with the hat?! And who is that Kran?!"
Valbrandr- "Obviously, a certain someone's been hitting the old dwarven spirits."
Valbrandr mimes tipping a bottle to his lips and staggers a bit for emphasis. He obviously doesn't know that a certain someone does not drink, he's just a little odd. Zayek opens her eyes to see who is disturbing her nap.
Zayek- "Oh, hi Moogie. How is...holy crap!"
That would be the instant she saw Valbrandr. No further words come out, though her mouth is hanging wide open.
Valbrandr, at Moogie- "Told you."
The lights flicker.
Jorrit, diving under the thone as it starts smoking- "Damn! I just fixed that!"
Valbrandr, at Zayek- "Hello. I am Valbrandr."
Zayek, regaining some composer- "Not with a face like that, your not. That's a name for an ugly dwarf. You are... Brandon Valjean."
Brandon Valjean- "Hey! You can't just do that!"
Zayek- "Can so. Look."
Zayek pulls out a badge with a large GM across the front in gold letters.
Brandon Valjean- "Damn!"
Moogie- "That's nice and all, but can you help us get to the castle. I mean, one of you has to know."
Jorrit doesn't answer, as the only thing seen are the tips of his tiny feet kicking from beneath the furiously smoking throne. Zayek shrugs, still smiling at the darkly brooding dwarf.
Zayek- "You should try that look with a black trench coat on. Maybe if you could grow some fangs?"
Moogie- "Ahem?"
Zayek- "Oh, sorry Moogs. You should ask Talad. He might know. Talad, sweety, wake up."
The Kran grumbles.
Zayek- "He's been working hard lately. Talad? WAKE UP!"
The Kran jumps.
Talad- "What do you want now Demarthl? If someone has a complaint against you again...and get off my head!"
Zayek, jumping to the ground- "Sorry. But Moogie wanted to know how to get to the castle."
Talad- "Castle? Who authorized a castle?"
Zayek - "Well...um..."
Anything that would have been said is cut short by a panicked gopher running for the door.
Jorrit- "RUN! SHE'S GUNA CRASH!"
Now, normally the scene would end here, with everyone dashing for the nearest exit, but the hat has requested a few words. Go ahead.
Fifty gallon hat- "Well, thank you. I would just like to point out that I was not sleeping. You left a few things vague, so I though I would clear them up. Zayek Skyrim is the Game Master character of Demarthl, who some have become angered with because of renaming incidents, Talad, the power that be of PS, was sitting on the metaphorical representation of Crystal Space, and Jorrit is a gopher because...I actually have no idea why he is a gopher, and the trench coat remark referred to the TV series 'Angel'. And just so you know, if anyone would have bothered to ask me, I know the easiest fastest way to get to the castle, and how to defeat Xordan. But no one did ask me, did they? Because I'm just a stupid hat."
No rants please.
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I\'m lovin it UtM! didnt expect you to write something like this, but still, wonderful!
/me wants to be included :/
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:D :D This is great UTM! Probably my favorite writing in all the PS forums so far!
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The gopher! :D Ohh the image! That really is cuuute!! *is loving every word*
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*wonders how Yliakum looks out of the eyes of a gopher*
Ahh teh Horror... (Just came across a Teffie)
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[[Cyl gets a cookie. He made the moon laugh. Sorry folks, a short one this time. But I think you may get a kick out of it.]]
Scene ten
~ROCK ON!~
We join our friends -well, your friends anyways, as I'm sure none of them will ever speak to me again- anyways, we join them running...again.
Moogie, running- "I'm starting to see a pattern here."
Brandon Valjean, also running- "What? You mean how we keep meeting extremely unhelpful weirdoes? Or the fact the we keep getting tossed into uncomfortable situations with barely veiled..."
Moogie- "That is enough. I don't think we should encourage him. But ya."
The light begins flashing madly as the textures crawl across the walls. Shadows jump and leap with a psychotic life of their own, clawing blindly at the running dwarf and enki. Suddenly, Moogie's foot meets nothing. She falls forward, right through the floor.
Moogie- "BRANDON! Omfh.."
Brandon Valjean- "I got you! Hang on!"
Indeed, the dwarf formally known as Valbrandr does have her...by the tip of her tail. He flexes his newly enhanced muscles, pulling her back to safety. With a final yank, they land on the ground in a heap. The lights stop flickering and the shadows finally settle. They stop to catch their breath as a blackened singed gopher walks past them, grumbling the entire way. Perhaps it is best we can?t hear what he is saying. However, Moogie does have something to say that we should hear, as well as the dwarf.
Moogie- "Thanks. I'm grateful and all...but get your hands off me!"
Brandon Valjean removes his hands with a bashful- "Sorry...but can you blame me?"
Moogie- "Yes."
Brandon Valjean- "Ok ok. Won't happen again."
Moogie- "It had better not. But thanks for saving me. You're a good friend."
Brandon Valjean- "Friend? If that's what you would call an uber handsome dwarf risking his very life guiding a lost Fenki through evil infested caves until a better deal comes along allowing him to dump her into the nearest death realm... then ya, I guess I am your friend. I've never had anybody call me friend before."
Moogie- "Ah, Brandon...sometimes you are a little too honest."
Brandon Valjean- "You seriously going to call me that?"
Moogie- "It's your name, isn?t it?"
Brandon Valjean- "grrrr"
A loud blair echoes through the cave, making the two of them jump.
Moogie- "Do you know what that was, Brandon?"
Brandon Valjean- "That's it. I'm outa here."
He turns and stomps off the other way before Moogie can stop him. She has no choice but the go on alone if she wants her hair back.
"I guess I'll just have to go on alone. I have no choice if I want to get my hair back."
What Moogie did not realize is that she was about to meet her next ally. For some odd reason, Moogie suddenly starts running towards the blaring, a relieved look about her face. As she turns the next corner, she stops in confusion at the scene unfolding before her.
A large kran is being assaulted by a group of odd creatures wielding banana tipped spears. The kran swings a large kran-sized saxophone at one, but the things are too quick.
Kran- "Damn nooblins! Get the hell away from me! You can't have my Cubans!"
The nooblins jump about, bouncing on their heads, getting stuck walls, asking nonsensical questions, incessantly challenging the kran, and doing all sorts of other things that would make a normal person pull their hair out. That is if an evilish, hair obsessed mage hadn't already taken it. Moogie growls. The kran hears her growl and looks at her.
Kran- "Little help here?"
Moogie looks about for something to toss, but finds nothing. The Kran sees her dilemma and proceeds to blow on his saxophone. Suddenly, and incredibly oddly, an ax falls at Moogie's feet. Now, normally, you would say a thing like this happening would be called 'somewhat oddly'. However, when you take into account that it is not an actual 'ax' per say, but a wicked Fender electric guitar. Moogie, taking immediate action grabs the ax and winds up to fling the thing at the nooblins.
Kran- "NO! Do you know how much that thing is worth?! Use it's power!"
Moogie stands confused, until the Kran blares again and an amp lands next to her.
Moogie- "You have got to be kidding. You know, they have clinics and twelve step programs that could help you."
Kran- "JAM, lady!"
Moogie- "This is going to be ugly."
You had better believe it. It was so ugly, in fact, that I can't bare to write down the next few events. The horrible calamity which I cannot even bring to light. Lets just skip ahead a few moments, shall we?
Moogie stands gazing over the destruction. The amp is tipped on it's side, the priceless ax smashed into splinters over it, with only a few inches of the neck still in her hands, strings curled at all angles. The nooblins lay in a moaning pile on the ground in what remains of their improvised mosh pit, the large kran sprawled atop them, still gripping his sax. A reverberating hum fills the air. The Kran sits up, a huge smile on his face.
Kran- "That was wicked awesome. You are one rockin' dame."
Moogie- "Um...thanks...I guess. I didn't know I had it in me. Sir...uh..ma'am...whatever?"
Kran, taking a cigar out and lighting it- "They call me Kwartz. And you *puff* are welcome to jam in my club any day. That was classic."
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:) It makes me happy and sad at the same time. How I miss Kwartz... :(
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I know, but he was the only guy that would fit. :D :(
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*grins*
Good one :)
Loved the name changing and the upgrading? ;)
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[[Sorry folks, another short one. And it is not as evil as I would have wished, but the characters made me play nice. The next one though...the gloves are off. :evil: ]]
Scene eleven
~Nice Knockers~
Moogie- "Oh that is so not funny. Now I refuse to be a part of this chapter."
Actually, it's a scene, and I find nothing wrong with that title...and why aren't you bursting into infinitely painful flames?
Moogie- "Scene Eight. Five paragraphs after you said that."
What does...ohh. I see. So you've been reading this the entire time? That explains a few things. Just go with me on this. I promise, nothing ...er...bad this time.
Moogie- "I don't think so. From what I've seen so far, you are just setting me up again."
Honest. No tricks.
Moogie- "Riiiiight. And pigs will fly."
Winged pigs float through the air past Moogie and a startled Kwartz.
Moogie- "Now I know you are going to pull something."
Come on. People are waiting.
Moogie- "Bugger off."
I could just make you go along. This is my parody.
Moogie holds out her paw and wiggles the white figurine.- "I don't think so."
Oh...that.
Moogie- "Until I get some sort of assurances, I go no further."
I can't do that. I wouldn't be funny.
Moogie- "That's it, I'm walking."
Ok, ok. I'm sorry. I'll write an embarrassing part for myself later in the parody. If you don't stick around, you won't see it. Promise. Ok?
Moogie considers- "Fine. Let's just get this over with. As long as you don't pull any tricks on me. I wouldn't mind slapping you up again. But it better be good."
Kwartz- "Who are you talking too?"
Moogie- "No one that matters. Let's go."
Kwartz- "Me? Now listen lady, I just got sacked by a bunch of nooblins. I don't think I want to go to their city. Do I look nuts?"
He says this being a very large kran holding a sax and puffing on a stoogie.
Moogie- "Moon? Little help?"
Kwartz has a sudden change of heart.
Kwartz- "Of course '?ll help. Can't let a dame like you get into trouble, can I?"
Moogie- "Thanks Moon. That takes your ban time down a bit."
The two move on, having no other demands. Soon, they find themselves facing two exquisitely designed doors. Every detail is perfect. One is carved, the other is flat, but just as well decorated with what seems to be pencil drawings. On each door is a face. One carved, one drawn. Below them are two knockers. Oh yes, tha are vera nice.
Moogie- "Oh, I see. Very funny. Ha...ha. Now what?"
Carved face- "These be the simple doors of Cherppow."
Drawn face- "Knock and enter."
Moogie- "Simple?"
Kwartz- "Knock?"
Flying pigs- "Oink?"
The pigs vanish in a puff of smoke.
Drawn face- "Er...that was odd."
Carved face- "Odd indeed."
Moogie- "So all I have to do is knock...you will open...and I go through? No tricks?"
Drawn face- "No tricks."
Carved face- "Now what would make you think that?"
Moogie- "I have my reasons. But I don't think Moon would make Cherppow an untrustworthy character. So, here goes..."
Moogie knocks on the drawn door. It opens. No tricks. She walks through slowly. Still no tricks.
Moogie- "Well at least you are honest."
Kwartz vanishes in a puff of smoke.
Moogie- "Hey! I said no..."
You said no tricks?on you. This one was on Kwartz. You?ll need to be more specific in your negotiations next time.
Moogie- "Why you..."
The scene quickly shifts to a place further away before Moogie can finish her polite remark, and where she can no longer read this. It also happens to be the sight of where an odd meeting will take place. Which we will get to in due time. Since Moogie can not read this, it seems like a good time to inform anyone interested that there will be tricks played on her in the next scene...along with others.
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Bravo! Bravo! Encore!
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/me wants to see the next one..now...I said now Moon! :P
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[[My apologies to all involved in this next scene. Please inform all involved for me, as I...ah...have to be elsewhere. Ya, that's it. *runs for the nearest exit, thinking of the best hiding spot he can find*
Scene Twelve
~Wait a minute, Mr. Postman...I need a dictionary~
Moogie walks alone through a giant mushroom forest. A dark mysterious forest, filled with anomalous unidentifiable noises. Sinister shadows conceal their secrets with tightly clenched jaws. It is the manner of place that one could vanish into, and never be found...or missed. The breed of place only nightmares give rampant hallucination to. All alone, solitary, where someone...or something... could be right behind you, skulking, stalking, hovering maliciously with venom dripping fangs, the hair raising on the back of ones neck, chills crawling down the spine, and you would...
Moogie, looking quickly over her shoulder- "Enough! That isn't funny anymore. Now you're just being mean."
The creaking of nameless objects in an unnatural deviant breeze is her only answer. The wind whispers across her fur, the final caress before the predator's ever so silent strike. It feels as if the is forest closing in, closer and closer, though nothing really moves in the surrounding gloom. Paranoia sets in... skittering along the recesses of the mind, giving birth to countless imagined noises wafting from the rising, obscuring mist...or are they real? Was that the sound of a footstep? The whisper of steel on leather? The heart beats faster, blood pounding in ears. Only the...
Moogie, nervously watching the dark, eyes flicking from here to there, near panic- "Stop, already! We get your point. You don't have to..."
"BOO!"
Moogie- *shrieks* falling on her tail, not her face for once.
"Oh sorry. Did I scare you?"
This, being a silly question to ask, goes without answer, as it is plain to see that... well, I'll just make it easy for you. Have you ever seen a cat turn a corner and end up face to face with a strange, possibly rabid dog? That is how Moogie looks at this moment. And in no shape to answer silly questions with obvious answers.
Moogie, holding her paws over her pounding heart.- "YES! You did!"
Or I could be wrong.
"I said I was sorry."
The voice seems to belong to a young enki woman... a very abashed Fenki at that. She has grayish fur, the tips around her head are dyed red.
Moogie- "Karyuu? Is that you?"
Karyuu- "Uh-huh."
Moogie pouncehugs.
Moogie- "FINALLY! A female character actually played by a female! I'm so happy!"
Karyuu, grunting- "Uh... Moogie? You need to get a grip... and not on me... you're strangling me..."
Moogie lets go- "Sorry. But I just don't see how he can get me into trouble this time."
A long silent pause follows. There is the sense of an evil grin in the air. A massively malevolent smile, driven from the edges of dark madness...
Moogie- "Oh no, you better NOT! Karyuu will KILL you."
Karyuu looks at Moogie with utter confusion. Moogie grinds her teeth, most likely preparing herself for the worst.
Moogie- "You had better believe it."
Despite Moogie's fears, nothing of that sort is going to happen, as Karyuu would kill me. Moogie heaves a sigh of relief.
Moogie- "So what are you doing out here?"
Karyuu- "Well...as to that...it's a little embarrassing."
Moogie- "Figures. You might as well tell me. I'm sure it's going to come out anyways before this scene is done."
Karyuu, digging her paw in the ground embarrassedly- "Well...if you won't tell anyone...we're starting a boy band."
Moogie, having just heard the last thing she ever expected- "Boy band!? But you're a...wait, we?"
Karyuu- "Ya. Hey guys! We have an audience! Come on out!"
At her call, a group of almost all actual 'boys' comes out of hiding, sheepish looks on faces all. Karyuu looks on them with pride.
Karyuu- "Let me introduce Efflixi..."
Efflixi bows.
- "..Demarthl..."
The Fenki bows. Moogie frowns.
Moogie, interrupting- "Didn't you already have a part?"
Demarthl- "No...that was Zayek. She wouldn't want to be in a guy's band. She prefers to hang with the girls."
Moogie, ignoring the innuendo- "How can this be a 'boy band' when half of you are female?"
Elf, actually male- "Thy many pardons, m'lady, but that be'ith a mere technicality. We be'ith members of an enlightened society, and not need'ith to be precluded by the winsome fancies of gender separation."
Karyuu (I'm sure some of you know what's coming)- "Hush Drak. You know no one understands you when you talk like that."
Moogie- "Draklar?!"
Oh, yes. You knew I couldn?t leave him out of this. Just when you think he's out, someone drags him back in. 'sides, this'll teach him for leaving.
Draklar- "As true as the Azure Sun casting its blessed rays upon us, so true be'ith your words of greeting."
Karyuu- "I said stop it."
Draklar bows in a somehow superior, humble acquiescence.
Moogie- "That's Drak all right. Who's that hiding in the shadows?"
Indeed, a large form hides in the shadows. How Moogie spotted it before it was mentioned is unknown.
Moogie- "I have good eyes. Come on out. We all know you're there. You might as well be as embarrassed as the rest of us."
The shadow comes out at Moogie's kind, thoughtful beckoning. Once in the light, it becomes a large Ynwnn, and another actual male. He tries to keep his face hidden.
Efflixi- "Oh come on. All Ynwnns have the same texture. It's not like anyone is going to recognize you, Acraig."
Acraig, standing straight with as much dignity as he can manage, which happens to be quite a bit- "Thank you Fes. I don't know how we would get along without your imperturbable wisdom."
Draklar- "Thow hast dealt him a fearsome scorching, my good sir Acraig."
Everyone- "Knock it off!"
Karyuu- "For those of you who don't speak Drak, I believe he said 'BURN!'."
Draklar- "Indeed, twas..."
Moogie- "Zip it. I can't believe you put Draklar, two girls, though one is played by a guy, and a programmer in a Boy band. What were you thinking? Are you insane?"
That is what I will plead. Now, while Moogie seemed to be arguing with herself, the band gets the most brilliant idea. Moogie holds her breath.
Karyuu- "Hey, I just got the most brilliant idea! The main requirement for joining our boy band is having a high post count."
Moogie- "Well it must have been something, since it obviously wasn't being a boy. Wait. Where are you going with this?"
Karyuu- "Weeeeeell, since that is the reason...and all of us have high post counts?but no one has a higher count than??
Moogie- "Oh no you don?t!"
Acraig, in a deep noble voice- "Come now, Moogie. With you as our lead, we shall soar to greatness and honor beyond compare. Think on it as a duty."
Moogie- "I am trying not to think on it at all!"
Draklar- "You must choose'ith..."
Everyone- "Can it, Drak!" or similar phrases, with or without helpful explicatives (swear words, for you that didn't know).
Efflixi- "Moogie, you just have to be in 'The Postmen'."
Moogie- "I knew it. I just freaking knew it. If I see one more bad pun..."
Karyuu- "We need you Moogs. It's all we need to go public."
Moogie- "No you don't! You all need mental help is what you need. I am so out of here."
The Postmen all look at each other...and come to a unanimous decision"
Draklar- "Grab'ith her!"
Moogie screams, and starts running...
Meanwhile, in that other part of the Labyrinth that I mentioned in the last scene, an odd meeting is about to take place...but since this post is already more than three pages long in Word, I think it best to give your weary eyes a rest.
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Need... air... xD
This is pure brilliance, all of it. Your wit is priceless, Moon! I laughed out loud at nearly every other sentence.
And Acraig in a boy band... *grins and shakes her head* That\'s either genius or insanity.
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*pleads insanity*
Judge- \"Sustained!\"
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[[brain broke. call back at another time]]
Scene thirteen
~Do you know the muffin, Man?~
As we left the last scene, there was mention of an odd meeting. Now, instead of merely mentioning it for a fifth...er...third time, we shall just join it.
Brandon Valjean- "Durn Moogie. Calling me not by my rightful name. And that durn GM flashing her powers, and not being affected by my great smile. What is up with that?"
Brandon hears Moogie *shriek* in the distance. This would be the time a certain someone said "BOO!". But there is no reason to go into that again as you must have read it....unless you are skipping ahead, you bad reader you. Anyways...
BV (cause I'm sick of typing it out)- "Crap! I guess I have to help her since she paid me and all."
Xordan, appearing as he turns, his hair flowing in a gentle wind- "Not if I pay you more."
BV jumps- "Why. What do you got? This nifty 'ring of the past' is gonna be hard to beat."
Xordan- "I have this nice used shoelace. How's that?"
BV- "Say...that is nice. But it don't beat no ring."
Xordan- "A half eaten muffin?"
BV- "Na. Got one."
X ('cause now I'm really lazy)- "Two tickets to the grand opening of 'The Postmen'?"
BV, looking sick- "I would work for you if you promised not to give me those."
X- "Well, I can't do that. I may need someone to go with me. If you're not busy next Thursday?"
Long pause.
BV- "Will there be ice cream?"
X- "Mint fudge."
BV- "I'm in. But that is still not good enough."
X- "Oh...hmmm...I could....ah...give you...ah...back your name?"
Brandon Valjean- "You can do that?"
Xordan- "Look down."
Brandon Valjean, looking down- "Aaaa...I don't think that one is going to work this time."
Xordan hits Valbrandr on the nose. - "Works every time!"
Valbrandr- "Did it work?"
Xordan- "Don't know...I don't want to burst into flames."
Valbrandr- "Just say my name."
Xordan- "Uh...hi...uh... Valbrandr."
Valbrandr, shaking his head- "How did you get this job?"
Before Xordan can come up with an answer that would have made no sense anyways, another scream is heard. Valbrandr turns to go, but Xordan stops him.
Xordan- "Remember the deal."
Valbrandr- "Ah...I take her back to the beginning?"
Xordan looks confused. "Nnno...I want you to give her this half a muffin."
Valbrandr- "When did we make that deal?"
Xordan- "Right now."
Valbrandr- "Oh. Well I won't do anything to hurt her."
Xordan looks shocked- "Why not?"
Valbrandr- "You didn't pay me for it."
Xordan- "Oh...right. Just give her the muffin?"
Valbrandr- "Half a muffin."
Xordan- "...half a muffin. But just remember..."
Valbrandr- "I know, I know. No kissing her."
Xordan blinks- "Whatever gave you that idea? Kiss her all you want. I was just going to tell you not to get your hair messed up."
Valbrandr feels his head, with its upgraded curls - "Whhhy?"
Xordan- "Cause I might need it later. So if you mess it up, I will wake you a Dev."
Valbrandr, hopeful- "Really?"
Xordan- "No, you ponce. I'll just toss you into the SPtWMYSSLBftRoYLoNTWCF."
Valbrandr- "No! Not the Sptwumysslibfteroylotwicf! I'll do anything! Uh...what is it, anyways?"
Xordan- "It's a acronym, for 'Shallow Puddle that..."
Valbrandr- "NO! Don't say it. The acronym is bad enough. I'll be careful."
Xordan- "You had better. Oh, one more thing. Next Thursday...say eightish?"
Valbrandr- "Whatever. I have a muffin to deliver."
We now go on scene to where Moogie has her back to a high, slippery wall, 'The Postmen' surround her.
Moogie- "Get away! I don't want to be in your band!"
Karyuu- "But think of the guys!"
Demarthl- "And the girls!"
Long pause where everyone is staring at Demarthl.
Dem- "I am played by a guy. Sheesh."
Moogie- "Come on! Someone is supposed to help me!"
Valbrandr- "I'm coming Moogie!"
Moogie- "Hey! Your name is Valbrandr again! Way to go. Now get me out of here!"
The Postmen- "You gota/ Good lady, you must/ be'ith the utmost/ all together!"
Valbrandr- "Well as to that...I would need a branch of a length of rope or something. Which I don't, so...wait...I thing I've found something!?
Male voice- "Grlack!"
A pair of size 14 shoes suddenly dangle next to Moogie's head. Attached to said shoes seems to be a very tall elf, of the dermorian verity. Holding said elf in place from the top of the wall... is Valbrandr.
Valbrandr- "I found this Cyl! Grab hold, I'll pull you up!"
Hesitantly, Moogie grabs the Cyl's feet. 'The Postmen' rush her, but are struck by a sudden mob of screaming fans.
Karyuu- "I told you!"
Valbrandr pulls hard on the Cyl, dragging Moogie to safety.
The Cyl- "Gruak...kleck...fmmm."
When Moogie reaches the top, Valbrandr tosses the Cyl aside and brushes himself off.
Valbrandr- "Well that wasn't so hard."
The Cyl- "Speak for yourself."
Moogie is about to say something, but instead, pouncehugs the dwarf, thoroughly mussing his hair. They immediately fall screaming though the floor. All three of them, including the Cyl.
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Cool! This is hilarious! Cyl\'ll be pleased that you finally got around to using him.
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All the familiar faces :)
Although most I know more from the forums then ingame but ahh well :)
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Pestilence: It\'s probably the time zone thing like with me.
Under the Moon: Keep it comin\' big fella. Nothing better then a parody of a Jim Henson work. You\'ll have to do the Dark Crystal next ;)
I\'m laughin\' my *$$ off. :)
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The Dark Crystal? Hmmmm... that would be a tough one. This was actually up in the air against \'The Nightmare Before Christmass\', but came down on the side of \'The Labyrinth\' because Jennifer Connely is hot. ;)
*edit*grrrr...can\'t spell...Moogie...hexing...me....
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[[Sorry this took so long?but I was having a brain block. Enjoy]]
Scene fourteen
~I'll give you an acronym, you SOB~
Now some may wonder why so many scenes have ended with Moogie falling. Well, besides it being rather funny to imagine a white Fenki with her arms flailing in the breeze? it also make a good cliffhanger. So, we join them again. Falling.
Moogie- "AHHHHH!"
Valbrandr- "NOOOO!"
The Cyl- "This is my damn part? A rope? I hate you."
Now, why the rope..er, the Cyl would say such such a thing is unknown, but perhaps it has something to do with the empty sheath on his back. Knowing the Cyl...
Moogie- "Ah...can you go into details later? We're still falling here."
Right. The three come to a sudden stop on a giant pile of cushy soft moss, breaking their fall, but not their extremities. Valbrandr and the Cyl immediately begin gagging uncontrollably at a putrescent odor, holding their noses at its vileness.
Moogie- "Actually, it smells a little like banana. Now I wouldn't use it as an air freshener, but 'putrescent'? You really need to lay off the thesaurus."
A thesaurus was not involved in the selection of said word, and the two with Moogie disagree adamantly with her assessment.
Valbrandr- "Are you nuts? This is the where the Shallow Puddle that Will Make You Smell Somewhat Like Bananas for the Rest of Your Life...or Next Tuesday, Whichever Come First is! What the hell did you have to muss my hair for?!"
Moogie- "Are you serious? Really, it's not that bad."
The Cyl looks sick- "Did not you hear him? Ba...na...nas. Next... Tues...day." The Cyl stresses each syllable to get his point across.
Moogie- "It didn't work. I don't know what these guys are all worked up about. I am quite tired of this insanity."
With that, Moogie tries to get off the moss, but instead finds herself siding down the slick face, the dwarf and the Cyl in tow. All three of them land on something hard. Something hard that talks. Or perhaps I should say shouts.
Something hard- "Damn! Find another place to fall. I'm tryin to jive here."
Moogie- "Kwartz!"
Moogie pouncehugs Kwartz, right after I add 'pouncehugs' to my spell-checker.
Moogie- "You would do that for me?"
No. It's just that you do it so often that I'm sick of the auto-correct making it two words.
Moogie, sadly- "Oh."
Fine. I did it for you. Don't let it go to your head, I can only do one favor per parody... guild rules. Moogie smiles.
Kwartz- "Moogs! Good to see you again. Who are these other cats?"
Moogie- "This is Valbrandr, and that is a Cyl."
Kwartz- "A Cyl, huh? Good to have one of those about, just in case someone falls down the well, or you can't reach a light bulb."
The Cyl- "I AM NOT A ROPE! I am a warrior! I was once the greatest gladiator of my homeland! I single handedly killed one of the greater cats! I trained the bearer of the chain! You can not address me like that!"
Kwartz- "You had better keep it. You never know when you're going to need a good Cyl."
The Cyl- "I hate you."
Valbandr- "We have more serious problems right now. LOOK!"
Valbrandr points one of his 400fps fingers at something.
Moogie- "Wow. That is quite an upgrade. I wonder what card he's using."
Valbrandr- "Focus, Moogie. We are in the middle of a dire situation."
Moogie- "Oh, sorry. But 400fps. Imagine it."
Kwartz, his eyes glassing over- "Wicked groovy."
The Cyl stands with his mouth hanging open, drool flowing unhindered from the corner of his mouth.
Valbrandr- "SNAP OUT OF IT!"
The others snap out of it, finally looking were the dwarf pointed. All except the Cyl, that is, who stands as before. What the dwarf is pointing at seems to be a rather inconspicuous puddle no more than three steps across. A seemingly totally unnecessary bridge made of Popsicle sticks and Legos crosses it. A small bubble floats on its slightly yellow surface. The bubble pops.
Kwartz- "OH GOD NO!"
Moogie- "Don?t say it. We all know what it is. What is so bad about that?"
All of them stare at Moogie as if she had gone mad, even the Cyl.
The Cyl- "Tuuuuesdaaaaaaaay."
Moogie- "Whatever. Tell you what, I'll just go across and you can all stay here."
The others stare in shock as Moogie begins walking towards the bridge. Moogie stares in shock as a figure jumps out from behind another gargantuan pile of moss. It is the figure of a rather short, light-gray with off-gray stripes Menki brandishing a fiddle.
Menki- "I can not let you pass, good Lady. Hey! I'm supposed to be 5'9! And a fiddle?"
Moogie- "Get used to weirdness. Moon is off his rocker. Now who are you supposed to be?"
Menki- "Why I am Lhoran, the brave and fearless to a fault and also sometimes dead enkiduki. At your service."
Moogie- "You mean XpYtZs character?"
Lhoran- "But of course, my lady."
Moogie- "So... can I pass now?"
Lhoran- "No."
Moogie- "Why not?"
Lhoran- "Baffles me. I'm not writing this thing."
Kwartz- "Damn, man. I can't stand this smell anymore. I'm skippin town."
Kwartz heads for the bridge. Lhoran jumps in his way, again brandishing the fiddle.
Lhoran- "I may not know why, but I can not let you pass."
Kwartz- "Beat it, fuzz!"
Kwartz swings his sax in a wide arc, bringing it to his mouth.
Lhoran- "So... a duel then. I accept."
Lhoran brings the fiddle to bear, flourishing his bow.
Moogie- "Oh god. Not again."
Indeed, again. Kwartz starts out with a mighty blow of his sax. Lhoran counters, drawing the bow across the strings with a long mournful chord.
Kwartz- "So that's your jive, is it? Well then..."
Kwartz hovers over his sax, drawing from it a harmony of low notes meant to stir the soul. After a moment of consideration, Lhoran joins in, lending his bow in counterpoint. The effect is that of the wind crying. The two of them sway over their instruments, lost in the moment. After what seems like forever, the notes stop, yet hang floating in the air, timeless reminders of what has passed. The others sit in awe.
Moogie, wiping away a tear- "Thanks Moon."
Lhoran places his fiddle on the ground at Kwartz's feet.
Lhoran- "You have bested me, mighty Sir. I would have it no other way."
Kwartz smiles- "So can we pass now?"
Lhoran- "I do not see why not. I'm not sure why I'm here in the first place."
Moogie walks to the bridge an starts to cross. As she reaches the halfway point -two steps in- the bridge collapses. Moogie falls three inches, as the puddle is very shallow. So shallow in fact, that the top of the bridge comes nowhere near the surface of the yellow, banana smelling water, leaving Moogie completely dry.
Moogie- "Huh."
The others have a different reaction.
Valbrandr- "OH CRAP! I still have to give her the muffin! Save her!"
Kwartz- "We're comin? Moogs! Hang on!"
Lhoran- "Don't move, dear Lady! I shall save you."
Moogie- "Really, guys, I'm ok. No reason to..."
Valbrandr- "Don't talk! Save your strength!"
Kwartz- "Stay with us, damnit! Don't give up!"
Moogie- "It is completely..."
The Cyl- "Quick! Someone toss her a Cyl! Err...rope I m..."
Whatever the Cyl was about to say is cut short by Kwartz grabbing him by the neck and tossing him at Moogie. The Cyl falls into the puddle.
Kwartz- "It's too short! We need..."
Moogie shakes her head and finishes crossing the bridge. The others stare in shock, then follow cautiously. That is, except for the Cyl, who runs the opposite direction, screaming something incoherently about Tuesday and bananas.
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*wipes tears of laughter from eyes*
*point-click-highlight-copy-paste-save*
*joy*
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Brilliant! Good thing I always keep a Cyl on hand. You just never know... :D
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HAHA, haha, throwing a Cyl.
*looks at a certain part of the parody*
I guess that will be my role in \"path of fate\", considering that useing me as rope will not be my main role.
Utm, you really hit the nail on the top, I cracked so much up, I nearly wet my pants (It was strange I was listening to a sad song of rhapsody at the moment I read it and had to laugh) ..
No...w I w..ill taaalk very.. slo...wly on. t.eh.. fo..r..u.m fro..m n..ow .on..
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[[This may be my meanest scene yet. Sorry Moogie.]]
Scene fifteen
~What goes around...~
Mourning the lost of their Cyl, the troop moves on. Lhoran and Kwartz get a ways ahead of Moogie and Valbrandr, talking about the subtleties of jazz. Moogie's stomach growls.
Moogie- "I guess I'm hungry. I don't suppose there's any fast food joints around?"
Valbrandr, looking thoughtful- "Well, since you asked..."
Moogie- "You have something?"
Valbrandr- "Just this half a muffin Xordan gave me in exchange for my real name. I'm sure it is going to have some strange effect on you and make you act funny so Xordan can keep your hair forever."
Moogie- "Ah...No thank... *stomach grows* Is it... chocolate?"
Valbrandr- "Devils food."
Moogie, stomach growling even louder, sighs- "I might as well eat it. I don't see any way around it anyways."
Valbrandr- "K. Her ya go."
Valbrandr trades Moogie the half of a devils food muffin. Moogie closes her eyes, ready to take a bite.
Familiar voice- "I have a better idea."
Moogie- "Moon?"
Moogie turns to see the rather ordinary looking fellow she knows as 'Moon', though he is now wearing a grayish button up shirt instead of the checkered. He gives what might be the semblance of a bow...an awkward unpracticed bow.
Moon- "In the writing."
Valbrandr- "Hey, you can't just go and change the plot like this. It ain't right."
Moon- "Beat it, Valbrandr. I'm not changing it... just tweaking it a little. Like this..."
Valbrandr vanishes in a poof of smoke. Moogie looks at Moon warily.
Moogie, warily- "Tweaked how?"
Moon gets that one sided grin again, and that twinkle in his eye that always let everyone know he was about to pull something.
Moogie- "I am still reading that you know."
Moon- "Of course. So am I."
Moogie, eyes narrowing- "What are you up to?"
Moon- "That is entirely up to you."
The half of a devils food muffin vanishes, replaced by a large red strawberry. Moogie almost drops it.
Moogie, very suspicious- "What is this supposed to be?"
Moon- "My promise."
A snow globe floats into sight nearby.
Moogie- "You are going to tell me what the hell is going on."
Moon?s half smile becomes a full fledged grin.
Moon- "No Moogie... you are."
He tosses something to Moogie, which she catches with ease. She looks at it in confusion. It is the figure of a rather ordinary looking fellow wearing a gray button up shirt. The snow globe suddenly grows larger, encompassing everything.
Moon- "Your move, Moogie."
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God damnit Moon! Take those cameras out of my room at once. How the crap do you know I play the violin!?
Anyhow at least I made it in :)
*point-click-highlight-copy-paste-save*
Ah, much better.
[edit]Why am I occationaly sometimes dead. Either that\'s redundant or I\'m seldom dead but...I\'m lost. *Goes back to the DR....again?[/edit]
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Witty and hilarious .. great work :D
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Xordan should have been in this, but I figured I'd torture Moon a bit. ;) It's not nearly as evil as I had planned, but what can I say... I'm just too nice. :D Enjoy~
Scene Sixteen.
~As the Moon Falls Down~
The little snowglobe expands quickly, encompassing everything around Moogie. She watches in amazement as she is whisked inside, strawberry and Moon figurine in hand, to a large hall. The room is beautifully decorated, with long satin drapes across the marble walls and long, elegant tables laid out with food, so delicious-looking that it defies all possible description. I won't try to describe it. Trust me, the second your eyes would fall upon such a description, your stomach would leap out and throw itself repeatedly against the screen in an attempt to reach it. And then you'd have to clean up the mess. I'm just being kind here.
Moogie, gasping in delight- "Oh my god! My wildest dreams have come true!! All this food for me!"
Because you know, apparently not only am I writing this, but I'm also inside the scene.
Moogie, existing in two places at once- "Funny that, isn't it?"
Quite, as long as it doesn't cause a paradox and destroy life as we know it.
Moogie- "With food this good, who cares?"
Moogie, deciding the food is henceforth more interesting than anything else in the world (even the danger of ripping apart the very fabric of existence), quickly squishes the little figure of Moon inside the strawberry and dismissively throws it over her shoulder. But before she can trip over herself running like a possessed crazy woman towards the mouthwatering buffet, people of all shapes and sizes suddenly appear around her, dancing together joyfully. And when I say "all shapes and sizes", I mean it; this is a fancy dress party with a difference.
This is the Fruit Ball!
Through crowds of twirling people dressed up as lemons and bananas, apples and cherries, hidden beneath masks of custard pie and swiss cheese (well you need holes for eyes, right?), Moogie notices him; Moon stands watching her whistfully, his arms by his sides... though really his arms are quite far apart, resting on his giant strawberry suit. His head is poking out of a hole at the top, while his feet struggle to keep the huge fruit balanced under the immense weight. He wears a large green hat above his red-painted face, completing the costume. He shuffles towards Moogie unsteadily, but with a calm, serious expression.
Moon, approaching slowly dispite the high speed shuffling of his feet- "Ok, I know I made a promise, but... I'd like that figure back now."
Moogie- "Oohhhh... oh right, I get it now, ya... hey, where did I throw that thing again?"
Moogie searches behind her and spots the little figure amidst the dancing feet of an enormous cherry. But before she can pick it up, the cherry accidentally kicks it across the floor. She hears a stifled cry behind her, and turns to see Moon disappearing through the crowd, arms and legs waving frantically as he rolls helplessly away. The dancing cherry turns to her.
Cherry- "Oh, sorry Moogs, didn't see ya there."
Moogie- "Who are you?"
Cherry- "I'm Lord Cherry Cherrington, at your service m'lady."
The giant strawberry rolls past and back into the midst of the crowd.
Moogie- "Seperot?? Erm... wow. Nice costume... I guess?"
Lord Cherry Cherrington, looking frightfully insulted- "Costume!? This is no costume! I am Lord Cherry Cherrington of the Cherry Elite! We will rule the world! Down with the Banana Samurais!!"
Before she can reply, the cherry spots a large, thin banana doing the tango nearby and waddles furiously over to him. Moogie looks on as he pounces on the unsuspecting fruit, and they begin rolling clumsily around on the floor, arms swinging wildly amidst cries of "Bananas suck!" and "Cherries must die!".
Meanwhile, the giant strawberry continues its collision course with everyone in the room as the little Moon figure skids around the dancefloor. Ignoring the rekindling Fruit Wars going on nearby, Moogie chases it through the crowds, always one step behind.
Moogie- "Darnit, come here! Hey you! Watch where you're dancing!"
She bumps clumsily into a prim looking woman dressed as a Lemon, adorned with citrous jewerly and a lemon-encrusted crown, who turns to her rather irritably. Moon yells a warning as he plows through an evergrowing group of warring cherries and bananas nearby.
Prim looking woman dressed as a Lemon- "Excuse me, girl. Who do you think you are? Telling me where to dance? Me, Princess Lemons, Arch Priestess of Lemonia and Empress of the Lemon Empire? You didn't even join in the Fruit Wars! Go away!!"
The little Moon-stuffed strawberry is sent flying underneath the buffet table with a swift kick. Moogie hears a rumbling growing quickly behind her, and stands up, eyes wide. She turns slowly to see the crowds parting either side of a giant red boulder bouncing uncontrollably towards her, its little legs and arms flailing in vain. Moon's expression is one of silent terror as he rolls across the floor towards her.
Like a scene from Indiana Jones, Moogie flees from Moon's giant strawberry suit through a crowd of oranges as they are helplessly knocked down like bowling pins. She dives under the table but meets a dead end- the glass of the snowglobe reflects the ominous image of its approaching doom.
Moogie jumps out of the way as Moon collides with the glass, shattering the globe. All the fruits are sucked out into the air and vanish, along with the shattered world, as Moogie lands amidst a mountain of screwed up bits of paper and old, torn documents. The squished fruit lands nearby, splattering on the ground and releasing the figure within. Moon, dressed as his normal self again, approaches and picks it up. Moogie looks around, confused.
Moogie- "Where am I? I don't remember..."
Formatting fixed at Moon's request. :flowers: --Santiago
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hehehe :)
Not as mean as moon was but fun :)
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[[Yes, that was a little nicer than I expected. And nothing like what I expected either. :D ;) But damn funny. I had to stop reading at one point to catch my breath.
Ok, I know you all expected an update here, but I am having a little fight with my pc right now (he\'s winning) so I won\'t be able to add to this until I get a new OS and any other parts that died. Sorry for the holdup. :( ]]
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Hey Moogie! When you get your new computer and your dad gets your old one, send the one your dad is useing now to Moon, it has to be better than whatever vacuume tube powered device Moon is using now!
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Hehe... I\'m starting to love this.
Which reminds me, I should continue to work on my story, before I get caught up in the parodiness of this parody of the parodies which is the uncle of the brother of the father of his cousin\'s former roomate.
Which comes to absolutely nothing.
(I was always waiting to use that one :) )
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Under the moon, how do you know all this about PlaneShift?
Are you a coder or something like that in the game?
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Originally posted by nitro4ce
Under the moon, how do you know all this about PlaneShift?
Are you a coder or something like that in the game?
What would give you that idea?
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Impressive. I should like to appear more, naturally, but that may just be my narcissistic instincts appealing to me. :P
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Originally posted by Monketh
Impressive. I should like to appear more, naturally, but that may just be my narcissistic instincts appealing to me. :P
It is. I have the same feelings.
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[[Sorry for the delay, folks, but my pc is still down. This was written by hand then typed up on a borrowed box. I fear it is not my best work due to the irritated mood this week has put me in. (including being stung by a bee while on the top of a ladder holding something overhead I couldn?t put down).
And howdy Monketh. Long time. Perhaps I am not done with you and Phin or the Cyl yet. XD
On another note? ME?! A coder? You have to be kidding. That is the most oddistest thing I've heard and even had to make up a word to describe it. But coincidentally...]]
Scene Seventeen.
~Garbage in, garbage out~
Moon has that small half smile again, but touched with more than a little -that was really odd- expression on his face.
Moon- "I don't think I will ever forget that. Strawberry indeed. Well, Moogie, I must be going now. Have a nice trip."
Moogie- "Wait! I don't..."
Moon vanishes in a puff of smoke, as seems to be the chosen method of sudden transport so far. Overly dramatic and clich', yes, but effective. It also seems to irritate and frustrate Moogie to no end. In said irritation and frustration, Moogie kicks a pile of paper refuse, the paper being much obliged to fly off the tip of her foot with little or no complaint. That is not to say there is no complaint from any other source.
"Hey! Just what do you think you are doing?"
Moogie whirls to the source of the new and quite irate voice. Not only is the voice irate, but also is the male Enki who stands a little ways away brandishing an overly large blacksmith's hammer. More odd than the hammer, though, are the hundreds of post-it notes stuck randomly on his body and forming a long fluttering cape.
Moogie, startled, but not falling on her face, posterior, or any other protruding extremity- "That was tactfully written Mr. Whoever-you-are-writer."
Thank you... but you were supposed to have an amusing response to the Menki. Moogie looks confused.
Moogie- "Was I... I can't seem to remember. I'm not even sure why I'm here. And that odd... Menki was it? That odd Menki seem to have forgotten me."
Moogie having sharper eyes than I do pens (which this was written in, by the way. <- including that), points to the man with her paw. Indeed, the thin Menki does seem quite preoccupied, his multitudes of post-it notes fluttering in the wind as he stares at the open space before him, surrounded by enormous piles of crumpled papers. Who knows what thoughts could be passing behind those deep contemplating eyes... The fathomless depths of a great mind at work. The intricate...
The Menki, thoughtfully jotting something down on a post-it- "No, I simply cannot see how tacos could be used as substitute algorithms, no matter how much cheese you use."
Ok... maybe I carried away with those deep thinking remarks. Sue me. Moogie rolls her eyes and begins walking over to the man, perhaps in hopes of finally finding some sort of sane help in her quest.
Moogie- "What do you mean 'finally'?And 'quest'? Have you been doing this type of thing? *SQUEE* I have a tail! That is so weird. Was it always here?"
Moogie reaches out to snatch her wayward tail, only to have it wave out of reach.
Moogie- "Come here!"
She pounces at it, but again it eludes her, always being one step ahead. With a giggle, she rushes her tail, chasing in a circle. The circle becomes tighter and tighter in her frantic chase, until she stands rapidly spinning in place. Faster she twirls, akin to deranged ballerina on a three-day caffeine high, until her tail finally lands in her grasp. Victorious in her quest, Moogie brings her crazed twirling to a sudden stop, a huge triumphant grin on her face.
Moogie- "Gotcha!"
Now, what happens next I'm sure some of you are very well acquainted with... but that doesn't make it any less funny. But since I am in a somewhat humane mood today, I think we shall pass over the ensuing humiliation and rejoin the story in its aftermath. So, as we were?
Moogie tries to get to her feet again for what must be the tenth time. Well, we can't skip all of the humiliation, now can we? This time, to the accompanying sound of uproarious laughter, she finds the ground with her front paws. The ground, however, not being all that cooperative, tosses her on her side. Not that the ground has moved, you see, it just doesn't seem to wish to stay in one place in Moogie's vision. She glares at the swaying ground, which seems to mind glaring even less than the dark did earlier in the story.
Moogie- "Stop moving and let me stand up!"
The ground neither responds nor obeys, being that it has better things to do. On the other hand, the sound of laughter only increases. Moogie tries to glare at the Menki blacksmith covered in post-its, as he is the source of said laughter, but finds it too disturbing to watch the two of them crossing before her eyes. Moogie growls.
Moogie- "JosePhoenix! Stop laughing and help me up."
JosePhoenix chuckles a few last times and... Wait a second. I never wrote who he was. How did you know his name? Moogie struggles into an awkward wavering semblance of crouch, her limbs spread wide.
Moogie- "He told me while you took your little interlude, you jerk. How else was I supposed to know, since you are being such a great help?"
I see.
JosePhoenix, no longer laughing and looking at Moogie warily- "Are you speaking to me? You did ask 'Just who do you think you are?' and I gave what I though my name was. Though in your confusion, I may have been mistaken. But maybe the answer has mistaken the question for a distant... no, that doesn't make sense. Oh! I know. You are the one mistaking the name given by me as your own to help with... wait, let me figure this out."
JosePhoenix pulls out a fresh post-it pad and begins scribbling furiously with a pencil shaped eraser. Moogie decides that it may be best to just sit for a while until up and down stop arguing over who is supposed to be on top.
Moogie- "So Mr. Wordy, are you going to tell me what is going on yet? I can't remember anything."
I am not sure why that is. I never... Oh, I see. You did this to yourself in the end of the last scene. I can't help you out of this one... even if I wanted to. You are just going to have to do this on your own. Moogie looks sadly at the ground, which has finally decided to stay in one place. Hold on, that is cheating. The white Fenki looks up with her big sad pink eyes, her ears drooping in the most depressing way. Crap. Pouting is so not playing fair. Moogie's bottom lip trembles. All right, all right, fine. One more favor. The guild is going to have my hide for this. You were looking for something important to you, and you only have three hours left to find it. There is a clue somewhere near you. If I tell you any more I will have to turn in my magic pens and quit the guild. Now you are on your own. Got it?
Moogie, grinning- "Works every time. Thanks Moon."
Why you little... Oh you are so going to get it in the next scene. Moogie shrugs and struggles to her feet, the dizziness not being an act. She frowns at the bits of paper scattered about.
Moogie- "Now I just have to remember what is was I am looking for. Hey, what is this?"
She reaches down and picks up a few pieces of paper. One has an ugly, winged, lizard-like creature with the words 'Klyros concept' written on it. Another appears to be random letters, numbers, and words. Both have 'trash' stamped in big red letters over them.
JosePhoenix- 'Give that here! You are not a coder!"
The Menki snags the paper with the 'code' on it, hugging it to his chest behind his overly large blacksmith hammer.
Moogie- 'What is a coder, Josephoenix?"
JosePhoenix, looking at her oddly- "JosePhoenix? I thought we decided to call me JP. That was the question to the answer you mistakenly requested. See?"
JP holds out the post-it he had been working on earlier as proof.
Moogie- "Ah... JP, that is blank."
JP- "Which proves NOTHING! They said it wouldn't work, but I'll prove them right, even if I am wrong."
JP begins scribbling more letters and symbols on the paper he took from Moogie. Moogie slowly backs away. Suddenly, JP sticks a post-it to the paper and tosses it forcefully the ground.
JP, raising the abnormally large hammer overhead and brining it down to smash the papers to pulp- "KAAAEEEEEEAAAAAAH! It'll work I tell you! Just give the code a chance!"
JP swings his hammer about himself, randomly crushing piles of old discarded code papers in his attempt to join them together.
JP- "They will compile! There is no stopping me!"
Moogie dives out of the path of one of his wider swings, apparently not wishing to be compiled. Her paw comes down on something. Without thinking, she picks it up and begins running. Soon, the incomprehensible hollers of JP fade away. Moogie stops, only to find herself still lost amongst the huge piles of trashed files. She looks down at what she picked up. It is the tiny figure of herself before all this started, red hair, brush, twig, and all.
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oooOOOOoooh :D *claps*
...
can i have that little moogie figure when your done? xD
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whahahahahaha, that is sooooooo funny.
You could get Tuvok to laugh with that!
Really, you\'re trully skilled at that.
Oh, is it too late for me to slap with the size 14 shoe?
I want in, please.
Greetz, Leo
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Underthemoon... that was most excellent!
*steals the story and runs away*
And, ahem, just so it doesn\'t look like I\'m favoring the scene that includes myself.. the others were nifteh too.
Plus, I already told you all of this in IRC.. or did I? *blames a conspiracy of Drey and Tacos*
josePhoenix
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UTM you really should write professionally. To make money. So you could buy a new computer. So I wouldn\'t have to wait so long for the next chapter! Argh! LOL
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Scene Eighteen-
~If you don't have anything nice to say...~
We last left Moogie staring at the tiny figure of herself. If you will remember, she had lost parts of her memory, if not her sharp wit or the rougher side of her tongue. Now, being the evil person I am, I could have dredged up a slew of unfinished 'Moogie' projects until Miss Moogie was forced into the full remembrance of herself and her precarious predicament, but once again the humanitarian bug has bitten me. Or it could just be that my hard drive went though a wipe sooner, more unexpected, and less announced than PlaneShift, taking with it my 'Terrible Black Book of Horrible Secrets' and the creepy files I keep on you all. So, we will just assume the figure brings back all of her memories. Also, you can stop boarding up your windows or thinking about a sudden untraceable move, as I don't really keep files on everyone. Really... now stop looking at me like that. Let's join Miss Moogie with all of her memories in tact, shall we?
Miss Moogie, raising an eyebrow- "How kind of you. And where have you been? Do you know how many people have been waiting for this? And why the sudden 'Miss' Moogie? You can't just..."
Ok, no more Miss Moogie. Blame Drey. But no more rants please. You did promise.
Moogie- "Under duress! You know, I shouldn't have let you have your little figure back. I should have stomped it, set it on fire, threw it in a hole, set the hole on fire, filled the hole with dirt...no, rocks... no, flaming rocks, and covered the entire thing with a steaming pile of..."
Moogie's pleasant little train of thought is interrupted by the sound of voices approaching, those voices belonging to none other than Kwartz and Lhoran.
Kwartz- "No, man, you just can't get the same soul from classical. It just don't happen on the same level, dig?"
Lhoran- "But my good Sir Kwartz, have you never heard the stirring rendition of... oh, hello my lady Moogie."
Kwartz- "Moogs? How'id you get ahead of us? I thought you were back shinin' around that Val chap."
Moogie, apparently quite irate- "I was NOT shining around Valbrandr! Didn't you two morons even notice I was gone?"
Kwartz and Lhoran glance at each other in that 'Oh crap' look guys are all so good at. Oh yes, you know the one. It its an art that comes with much practice and little patients. Lhoran pulls his hat off to fiddle with.
Lhoran- "My Lady, I do fear there is no safe answer to that question."
Moogie, growling dangerously- "I have half a mind to..."
"TUUUUUUESDAAAAAAAAAY!"
All three stop in shock as the Cyl runs screaming passed, its long arms flailing in the wind. The slight smell of something smelling somewhat like bananas fills the air. The Cyl vanishes into the piles of discarded papers to the fading scream of- "BAAAAAANAAAanaaaas!"
Kwartz, snapping his fingers- "Damn. We should have snagged it. You never know when a good Cyl will come in handy. Even one that does smell like bananas."
Moogie- "Somewhat like bananas. But whatever, Cyl or not, let's just get to Nooblin City and hope that we don't have to climb another wall or tie someone up."
Distant receding shout- "I hate you!"
Shrugging to each other, the small band continues on their way, still lacking a good Cyl for climbing walls, tying things up, or such. Before long, they come to what seems to be the towering gates of Nooblin City. More than seems, by the large blinking neon sign hanging slightly at an angle above the gates, stating in grand Times Roman Letters:
Welcome to Nooblin City
Proud home of the Yliakum Cabals!
Moogie- "I really, really don't want to ask...but the Cabals?"
Lhoran, in utter disbelief- "You hath never heard of the Yliakum Cabals?!"
Moogie- "The Cabal, yes, but what are these Cabals supposed to be?"
Kwartz- "Only the evilest, most despicable, baddest, most messed up, fourth year in a row championship winning Hopscotch gang around."
Moogie, after a long shocked pause, in which many bewildered, perplexed, (yes I know I'm being redundant) disbelieving expressions pass before her face- "Hopscotch!? The Cabal?! Hopscotch!? Are you completely insane?! You turned the evilest organization in PlaneShift into a... a... Hopscotch gang!?"
Lhoran, taking no note of the very irregular punctuation in Moogie's speech- "To be fair, m'lady, there has not been much implemented for evil aligned characters to do."
Moogie, still shaking her head- "But Hopscotch? There is nothing whatsoever evil, bad, or even slightly malicious about Hopscotch in any way."
Kwartz, after a short pause- "They do cheat."
Lhoran- "And they stole the stone."
Moogie, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation- "I give up. Xordan is goning to kill you. That's all there is to it. At least I'll have something to look forward to. Let's go before this gets any more insane."
Moogie stomps of towards the gates, muttering something about the Cabal, but stops at the sight of a rather stiff looking Kran guard standing to the side.
Moogie- "Now who did you drag into this?"
Guard, politely- "I am sorry, but I did not hear your question. Would you mind repeating it?"
Moogie, eyes narrowing suspiciously- "Who are you?"
Guard, polite and chipper- "I am Guardsman Ghellen. Welcome to Nooblin City. Obey the laws and stay out of trouble. If you need assistance, I will gladly assist you."
Moogie- "Ghellen? I don't remember anybody by that name. When did you join PlaneShift?"
Ghellen- "Your words confuse me, Sir. Could you speak a more common dialect?"
Moogie, kicking the ground angrily- "I knew it! I just bloody knew it! Of all the unhelpful people you have thrown at me, now you have to bring in an NPC? An NPC?! How am I supposed to get any useful help out of a bloody NPC?!"
Ghellen, irritaited sounding- "Sir, if you are going to continue to waste my time, you might as well move along."
Moogie, to her companions- "Come on. This guy isn't going to get us anywhere. The only thing they understand is 'Do you have a quest for me?'"
Ghellen, polite and chipper- "A quest you say? Well, Sir, there have been some bandits plaguing the road for some time now. Bring back proof of their demise, and you shall be richly rewarded."
Kwartz and Lhoran immediately turn back down the road.
Moogie- "Where do you think you are going?"
Lhoran- "He has bestowed on us a quest, m?lady. We must accept."
Moogie- "We are on a quest! You can't just leave me."
Kwartz- "But Moogs, a working quest. Working. And the reward. You can't just pass a thing like that up."
Moogie, trying very hard not to scream, rant, or mindlessly tear anyone limb from limb- "The real me is bald. We are on a quest to get my life and my hair back from a twisted Xordan. Your reward will be to not have to find your way out of the Deathrealm, because I won't have to KILL YOU!"
Kwartz, swallowing hard- "You can't argue with that."
Lhoran- "Her words carry much wisdom. Keeping ones head does seem the greater reward in the long run, does it not?"
Moogie nods tartly and walks to the gates, giving them a stiff push. They don't move. She gives it another shove. Still nothing. Grinding her teeth, she braces her shoulder on the gates and heaves. Not a budge. With a low growl, she kicks the gate, only to have them rebound, swinging easily outward on well oiled hinges. Kwartz opens his mouth, pointing at a small sign to Moogie's side. -Pull to open- Moogie glares at the others, daring them to speak. Kwartz snaps his mouth shut and cringes. Lhoran winces. Ghelles does nothing, obviously not scripted to respond to glares. Moogie turns and strides through the doors, the others following quietly, besides Ghelles, as NPCs are horrible at following. The only sound is a distant, "Baa....naaa...naaas..."
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Woot!!! A new chapter! It\'s awesome Under, I love the Cyl, and the NPC, and Cabali. :D :D :D Perfect.
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Again, i must say: extremely funny, you are truly skilled at this
*hurls another size 14 shoe and some pebbles at Underthemooon* \"Please???\"
Greetz, Leo
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Sorry I was out looking for a good Cyl...err Rope. Actually I was camping with my Martial Arts class. Good stuff there and I love my overactive verbal oldfashionedness (ha, ha, I can invent words also.)
Just keep it coming and no one will have to get lit on fire or skinned alive or anything of the sort. Err...maybe I\'ve said too much...Or have I said enough?
*/emote Wiziz away in a puff of cartoon smoke like daffy duck in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.
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Keep writing Moon! I love it. :)
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Great, could not stop reading :D
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L.O.L this is the funniest thing i have ever read...
(hmm my friend scargil won\'t like me saying that, must remain silent around him)
anyway keep it coming 8D
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Ok, folks, I know you all want more of this, but you will have to wait a bit. Due to my pc crash, injuring my back, healing, going to working again, and... other things, I have been distracted of late. Couldn\'t focus on writing. Sorry.
But I promise this will be finished. I feel the writing bug biting me again, but work may delay it. I\'ll make time somehow.
Thank you all.
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Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!
I haven\'t been reading the forums recently (mostly because I couldn\'t post, so I kept getting annoyed whenever I read things I wanted to respond to, but Venge fixed that, as you can see since I\'m posting, and I\'m sorry for writing such a long sentence, but you all just had to know about this. P.S. You may just want to start this paragraph over and skip the parentheses) and so I figured I might as well stop by the RP forum. And so I did. Hrmmm, new threads, dum de dum and, ah... something by Under the Moon. Well, I should read that; I mean, he writes good stuff -- wait, it\'s a parody; this should be good. *insert smug, expectant look*
Well, I started reading, and laughing, and reading some more; and then, to my surprise and joy, I kept reading, and kept laughing all the way through.
The best thing by far is the character-writer relationship. Similar to the \"voices in your head\" thing you did before. Excellent. And then there\'s the way you manage to bring all of those forum-dwellers into the story and keep them (mostly) in character. Extraordinary. And then there\'re the Planeshift jokes scattered throughout. Exemplary (I\'m running out of \'e\' words). And then there\'s the story itself, a blend of all these other things with just the right balance. Entertaining.
Keep up the great writing. It brightens my day and I look forward to reading all of it. :)
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*tries to walk into the forum, but finds that his head no longer fits.*
[[Thanks Cha0s and everyone else, now I need bigger doors :P ]]
Scene nineteen
~A pebble for your thoughts~
Moogie taps her foot impatiently. Lhoran tunes his fiddle for what must be the hundredth time. Kwartz snores loudly, sound asleep against a wall, one hand cradling his great sax, the other having the thumb stuck firmly in his mouth. Normally, you would think this to be somewhat odd behavior for a group of stalwart heroes about to invade and wreck havoc on an unsuspecting nooblin city. You would think that they would be more inclined towards excitement, nervousness, and perhaps even a little fear. That would be, of course, if a certain lazy and infinitely distracted writer had not left them sitting like this for quite some time.
Moogie- "I couldn?t have said it better myself. You leave me with these two like that again, and you will be banned for a year. Every bloody five minutes, 'Is he here yet?' 'No,' 'Is he here now?' 'No,' 'Did he write anything?' 'No,' 'Are you sure? Could you check, m'lady?' 'NO!' You are in so much trouble when I get out of here, mister."
Continuing on that happy thought, let us recap. Led by our own Miss Moogie, the Companions of the Hair... Moogie raises an eyebrow. What?
Moogie, rolling her eyes- "Nothing, just get on with it. You know what? Never mind, I'll recap. I am sure everyone it quite tired of your little asides, you type slow, and I am tired of waiting. I have been kidnapped by a sadistic writer and tossed into a horribly hacked parody of 'The Labyrinth'. Everywhere I turn, there has been insanity, bad puns, and constant comments about my bum. After all that, we now stand inside the first gates of -get this- Nooblin City, where Mr. Great Writer has dumped us for more than a week. I don't like all this glaring I have been doing, and he could have written me a nicer part."
That wouldn't have been funny. Moogie glares at the source of these words, who grins and shrugs, being safely on the other side of an ocean, and not stuck in the insides of her own computer with a cast of deranged, unhelpful, and outrageously caricaturized characters...
Moogie- "Bite me, you...OUCH!"
Being across said ocean, I did -in fact- not bite Moogie. This is not to say no one did. Judging by the young menkidukai latched onto her ankle in a bear-trap like grip, you might even find it impossible to say someone did not bite her. That someone being the aforementioned enki, who seems to have dropped a few colored pebbles in the process of enacting previously described bite. Now, those pebbles probably have nothing to do with the bite itself, and more to do with the bitey....no that would be the biter, as Moogie happens to be the bitey. So back to the biter, his pebbles, and the alleged but as of yet not completely proven bite...
Moogie- "Stop writing about it and get him off me!"
Oh, sorry. You can let go now, Leonor. Leonor obeys obediently with a huge grin, gathering up his pebbles.
Leonor- "Yay! He put me in! And I got to bite a pretty Fenki!"
Moogie- "Leonor? But all the parts are filled. Not that I mind the company, as long as you don't have him bite me again. Why the change?"
Alleged bit, and call it a favor to a friend. He shall be abused henceforth from now until the end of the parody, suffering endless humiliations just as the rest of you have. Leonor does a little dance, pulling a very fine violin from somewhere and playing a short didy.
Leonor- "Yay!"
Leonor's happy and unfounded little outburst wakes the slumbering Kwartz, who -luckly- has not begun drooling very much yet.
Kwartz- "Aw man. Five more minutes. Where's the snooze?"
Kwartz reaches over and smacks Leonor in the back of the head with one of his great hands, effectively simulating a snooze button as the enki drops dazed to the ground.
Moogie- "You're abusing him already?"
Leonor, dazed- "Yay!"
Back to Kwartz, it is common knowledge that it is best to let a sleeping Kran lie, especially one who has such troubles waking up, and a mean right hook to boot.
Leonor- "Yay!"
That would be in normal circumstances. These, though, being not the run of the mill normal circumstances...
Lhoran, stepping out of Kwartz's reach- "Kwartz, my good man. GET UP! The lady is waiting."
Kwartz, swinging wide and finding nothing to hit this time- "Dang it, man, I was having the best dream. Good ale, pretty genderless Kran, and they finally implemented sitting. Sitting!"
Moogie, indeed tapping her foot again- "You were dreaming. And kind of you to notice my precious time running out. Aren't we supposed to be fighting some sort of giant, mechanized, golem type thingy right now?"
Leonor- "Yay?"
Moogie points at an overly large claymore twice as tall as Kwartz leaning against the wall as proof. Now anybody who has seen the movie knows what she is referring to. However, seeings how giant, mechanized, golem type thingies are another of those little things that have not been implemented, we'll have to improvise. Clackers or rats? Too small. Gobbles? Again just not right. Ulbes and Teffies? Big enough, but just not intimidating in the right way, and they can't carry giant claymores. Now, as the second set of massive gates begin to slowly swing inwards, let us consider what disturbing creature waits on the other side. What sort of nightmarish beast could I have planned for this terrifying moment. What could possibly be worse that a giant, mechanized, golem type thingy. Everyone gasps as something steps though the gates.
The something- "Hey everybody! Check it out; I'm finally in the parody! I rock!"
Everyone, in varying states of shock- "Taser?!"
Taser- "Yup. How did you like that sweet entrance? It totally rocked! You should see your faces right now! Leo! What are you doing here?"
Taser walks towards Leonor, grinning widely. Oddly, though, Leonor's expression is that of stark terror. He hugs his violin close to himself protectively.
Leonor- "No! I just got it fixed again."
Taser- "Come on. Just one song? I won't break it this time."
Leonor, terrified- "You said that last time!"
Leonor ducks behind Moogie. Moogie grabs her tail just in case biting is habitual for Leonor. Being of an astute mind, and a keen sense of events, she asks the one question on everyone's mind.
Moogie- "What the heck are you pulling now?"
Spoken like a true poet. What she meant was, I think, What is Miss Rander -otherwise known as dragonfire999- doing here instead of the golem? We'll let Taser answer that one.
Taser- "Oh, I'm working for Xordan now. Someone's gotta pay for my training. Check out these awesome pecks. I made them myself. Hey! Who's that? He's cute."
Lhoran backs slowly away from Taser's pointing finger and also hides behind Moogie. A wise choice, it would seem, judging be Taser's large predatory grin.
Moogie, shaking her head at the two menkis- "My heroes. So Taser... ah, you work for Xordan... doing what?"
Taser- "Oh! Didn't I tell you? I'm here to kill you all. Doesn't that rock?"
Leonor- "Yay?"
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caught their personalities in a jar and spoon fed them a dictionary a day till the became words did you eh? :D
tremendous stuff
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I rox ^^
Also, im there because of my \"Ub3r 111 $73g|-|n7h 0f d()()/\\/\\\"
:D
Why am i the bad guy here?
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You\'re not, Miss Rander, you\'re just drawn that way. ;) :D <---obscure movie trivia
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im not one for obscure stuff, you can tell us now? ^^;
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Said by Jessica Rabbit in the movie Who framed Roger Rabbit.
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derwoodly gets a cookie. :D Jessica Rabbit is right. A must see classic movie.
Sorry for toning your character down a bit, Taser, but there are young\'uns reading this forum. ;)
On another note, I\'ll try to write the next scene in the next few days, but work may make it tight. Only a few scenes left now, folks. Then I may set Moogie free.
*considers for a bit*
But not likely. :D
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It\'s great as usual, Under.
The only thing though, this \"party\" is conspicuously lacking a mage... Even if it\'s not me... Still... just one...?
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Scene Twenty
~There's more than one way to skin a cat~
Instead of my usual prolog, we shall try something different this time, jumping right into a little action.
Taser- "Hold still! I'm just goin' to send you to the Deathrealm for a little while, nothing permanent."
Taser swings the ridiculously large claymore again, wielding it as if it were no heavier than a big, fluffy pillow. Not to mention she is only using one hand, and her left one at that. This is quite a feat, being that she is not only out weighed by her own sword, but is also right handed. Lhoran removes his head from the path of the whistling blade, grinning widely. Now, you may wonder why Lhoran would have such an expression on his face when said face is in severe peril of being removed rather messily. Well, you may remember that he was introduced as being brave and fearless to a fault. What was not mentioned is that he is somewhat reckless, hence, the sometimes dead part. But perhaps the greatest reason for the grin is the fact that he is facing a profusely perspiring Fenki with great...er...strength, who has no qualms about showing it off.
Moogie, staying out of dangers way- "You enjoyed writing that, didn't you?"
Immensely. I enjoy everything I write. Where was I? You distracted me. Oh yes, admiring Misses Rander's strength. Lhoran jumps to the side nimbly as Taser's sword cleaves the stone where had just been standing.
Lhoran, encouragingly- "You must do better than that, Lady Rander. You simply are not trying hard enough."
Kwartz, also grinning- "Cast Cold on her!"
Moogie- "That wouldn't do any good. It's bugged. All it would do is...."
Moogie stops and stares at Kwartz's huge widening grin.
Leonor- "Yay!"
Okay, sorry. I'm done now. You can't expect me to direct all of my comments towards Moogie, now can you? Getting back to the tale, regretfully or thankfully, depending on how you view it, Lhoran is not in possession of said cold Glyph. In fact, none of or ill prepared heroes possess a helpful Glyph of any sort.
Moogie- "None of us have a Glyph?"
Leonor, holding out his pebbles- "I have these."
Kwartz- "Yum!"
Kwartz snatches the pebbles out of Leonor's hand and pops them into his mouth, crunches once loudly, and swallows. Leonor stares in shock at his empty hand with a look similar to that of a lost puppy in the rain.
Moogie, frowning- "Now that was just plain mean, Moon. And now we don't have any magic at all."
A little mean, yes, but it sets up this next part nicely. Speaking of which, Kwartz looks bashfully at Leonor's empty hand as Lhoran dodges yet another of Taser's mighty swings.
Kwartz- "Sorry man. I didn't know they where friends of yours."
Leonor stares blankly at his empty palm.
Kwartz- " Wait! I do have this Red Way Glyph. It's yours, Leo."
Kwartz /trades Leonor said Glyph. Leonor looks at it doubtfully as Lhoran leaps over a low swing with a loud "HA!"
Leonor- "Meh. It's not the same. What does it do?"
Kwartz- "Makes and endless supply of tasty tacos is all."
Leonor- "Yay!"
Now, I could let Leo keep the Red Way Glyph of Infinite Tacos, but I did say he was to be abused henceforth. Sooo?
A figure swings out of nowhere on a Cyl tied to a protruding buttress overhead, sweeping the Glyph from Leonor's hand in a flurry of post-it notes.
josePhoenix- "MINE!"
jose vanishes over the outer wall at the end of his swing, his post-it cape flaring dramatically in the wind.
The fading voice of josePhoenix- "All phear the Taco and Toast conspiracy!"
Leonor stares at his empty palm.
The Cyl, still tied to the overhang, makes a sudden and simple statement- "Orange."
Eveyone, including a puffing Taser- "Orange?"
The Cyl, grinning for the first time in the parody- "Yes, orange you glad I didn't say banana?"
Come on, you all knew it was coming. Admit it, you chuckled. Everyone groans, except for Taser, who begins laughing hysterically. While she is doing so, the heroes have time to plan their next move.
Lhoran- "So what is our next move?"
The Cyl, still tied to the overhang- "If I may suggest something?"
Moogie- "As long as you don't say banana or orange."
The Cyl, nodding- "Given what we know of Taser Rander, and her projected reputation, we should be able to easily conjure up some sort of distraction so we may slip by. Also, being that she is female, a mesh enhanced, uber handsome, smokin' hot little man would do nicely."
Valbrandr, appearing in a poof of smoke- "You rang?"
Taser- "Holy carp!"
Valbrander smiles. Taser drops her sword, awestruck. Kwartz chuckles. Moogie raises an eyebrow, very conspicuously not looking at the dwarf. Lhoran shrugs ruefully. Leonor stares at his empty palm. Finally, the Cyl is still tied to the overhang.
The Cyl, still tied up- "That went well. Shall we be on our way?"
Moogie- "Untie that Cyl. We should take it with us in case we need it again."
Kwartz complies as Taser continues staring openmouthed at Valbrandr, who winks at her. She faints cold.
Lhoran- "Good show, Sir Valbrandr. The Cyl's plan worked perfectly."
The Cyl grumbles to himself as the enlarged cast of characters steps over Taser's limp form and passes into Nooblin City, home of the Cabals, Hopscotch champions four years running.
The Cyl, looking back- "At least we now know she has one weakness."
We are nearing the end now, folks. Only a few more...
Authoritive voice- "Hold!"
Moogie- "Monketh? What are you doing here? Your part ended a long time ago."
Monketh- "Sorry ma'am, I am going to have to confiscate that Cyl."
The Cyl- "What for?"
Monketh- "Violations of the Cyl and/or taller than normal elf accords, section thirty-five, subsection eight, paragraph ten, parts E through G. Unauthorized or illegal use of a Cyl in a Planeshift parody. Specifically, the use of a Cyl for any other purpose than that of climbing, tying, tripping, swinging, jump rope, or any of the other things you would use a Cyl for. Giving it a speaking role, taking its advice, referring to it as 'himself' once, and last but not least, letting it partake in a terrible pun are all clear violations of these edicts. Also, that fact that it no longer smells somewhat like bananas when it is clearly not next Tuesday. That in itself is a violation of seven different codes in the..."
Moogie- "Just take it, okay."
Monketh- "Very well ma'am. Remember, the laws are there to protect you. Have a nice day."
The Cyl- "I hate you."
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my... sides.... hurt....
i need a lawsuit
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you... are... a genius... UtM...
*stares blankly at his palm* yay?
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/me just had a 3 page readathon or something like that and its still going great, nice job Mr Moon.
although i seem to be getting blamed for things which i have no clues about :/
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While I haven\'t posted here, I\'ve been following this one. :tup: This last scene makes me wish for the devs to use the dermorian model for the ropes that will probably be implemented eventually, knowing that the alternative would be the dwarf model. :D
*wonders what killed the Cyl*
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ADD suffering, never finishes a story writer throws a shoe of random size at Moon, having forgotten what size it was supposed to be, then proceeds to download some podcasts, rebuild planeshift in optimized mode, write little bits of four different stories simultaneously one paragraph from each at a time, and then finally drops everything he\'s doing to eat ice cream and pizza rolls.
:D
-Miya
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PM me your char info and I\'ll see what I can do. But parts are rather limited, so I can\'t promise anything. I\'ll see about getting the next scene out in the next few days. Again, no promises.
ps. size 14
Seytra: The Cyl? He ist on vacation with no net of any kind right now and for a while. So, you\'ll just have to find one of the Diaboli for all your tieing needs. Not as strong, but a heck of a lot purdier.
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wow... awesome. I haven\'t been this interested in something since a friend started playing with a battle fan before Tang Soo Do the other day... This story is amazing... Wow... I\'ve never even managed to be satisfied with all of my characters personalities... I guess this would make things a little easier... but wow... Ok, no more elipses for now, just one more \"Excelent.\" :P
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Forgive my lack of nooblin translation and leet skills in this installment. I would also like to apologize for stuff. That?s right, you heard me, stuff.
Scene twenty-one
~Nooblin is as nooblin does...~
Now, this storyline has followed our Moogie quite closely for some amount of time now. Some would say a little too closely. Others might say, "Give our Moogie back you Fenki obsessed freek!" But there are those who would state simply and eloquently, "OMGZORZ! Itz teh MOOGIE! j00 is the ROXORZ!!! OMG hows do u get a sord. K thnx 1111!!!" This scene could focus on any of the above, but since we are in Nooblin city, and every nooblin has his day, this scene shall belong to them... Talad save us. We join the parody in a scene I stole...er, borrowed from Star Wars...
Two random nameless nooblins (they are all interchangeable, are they not? Why insult just one when you can generalize and get them all in one fell swoop?) stand in awe as the huge black snowglobe begins to open. A bald man sits in a massive black chair in it's center. A man with wings and a slightly lizard-like form. Slowly, a flowing wig of white hair -now with red steaks mixed in stylishly thanks to Moogie- lowers from the shadows above to come to rest on the Klyros' head. Yes, a Klyros. A Klyros named Xordan.
Nooblin A- "OMGz! Xordan ist a KLYROS?!?!?"
Nooblin A immediately and infinitely painfully bursts into flame. You've all been waiting for that, haven't you? If you are confused by said bursting into flame, you would have to go back quite a few scenes, so I shall recap. Ehem, Scene eight, 'And me without my flyswatter': "The next character who attempts to read any thing after this sentence without permission immediately and infinitely painfully bursts into flame." Nooblin A, being one of said characters, and reading said forbidden text, has burst into previously stated flames. I believe Xordan can sum it up best.
Xordan- "Stupid n00b."
Nooblin B "k I new here what just happened kthz?"
Xordan- "I will burn you to ash where you stand if you ask another moronic question. Just take orders and don't read anything."
Nooblin B- "ok thnx"
Xordan adjusts his hair to be more flattering, then adjusts the wind to make it wave properly. Nooblin B stands in one spot staring blankly. Xordan frowns.
Xordan- "Wait. What are you doing here? I said I was not to be bothered unless the castle was on fire, CS was declared bug free and you could finally sit, you found my rubber ducky 'Goonthure', or Grono posted a picture of herself. I think that was it, or am I forgetting something?"
Nooblin B- "ok u said u wnted to no if the purty catlady and the golem with the horn made it to the city kthz."
Xordan blinks- "Listen n00b, you speak normal, or I'll...wait... the catla- I mean Fenkidukai is here?! In the city?! With her friends?!"
Nooblin B- "K yes teh other catlady fell down and they came in ok thx"
Xordan- "WHAT?! Stop her you fool! Get the guards together. She can't have it back!"
Xordan hugs his wig protectively.
Nooblin B- "ok thnx how does I do that plz?"
Xordan- "Run down to the plaza an tell the rest of you Runescape and WoW rejects to arm up and stop them!"
Nooblin B- "ok................how do u run ok thnx?"
Well, I am sure many of you understand the frustration Xordan is going through right now, and so agree with his next course of action completely, even if he is playing the bad guy. The sound of breaking glass accompanies Nooblin B a he flies out the nearest window.
Nooblin B, plummeting- "how do u fly ok thnx" *distant splat*
It is best not to stay with Xordan now, as there may be young-uns reading this, and so should not be exposed to such language. So we move on to the plaza, where the mighty Nooblin army is readying for gruesome battle.
Nooblin G5- "OMG this is teh ROX! I got a ax of ++++PAWNAGE!!!!"
Nooblin NC12- "WOOT!!! U r teh > 111one11!!!"
Nooblin F /shouts- "I FOUND A WICKED DAGGER OF FIRE! I'M A JEDI!!"
Nooblin R- "Shutup n00b! You r a suck!"
Nooblin F /shouts- "I PAWN YOU! YOU SHUT UP!"
Nooblin Q- "how do u use mouselook?"
Nooblin F- <Nooblin R has challenged you>
Ok, I think we've seen enough of that. A certain writer would not like a mob of angry Planeshifters setting his house afire if he continued. So, as the nooblins continue...um...whatever they do, we'll shift the view back to where it should be. Moogie stands surveying the city before her, striking a striking heroic pose...
Moogie, interrupting- "Ehem. My face is up here."
Lhoran, Kwartz, Leo, and Valbrandr- "Sorry, Moogie."
Er...ya, what they said. To distract Moogie from m...the other's embarrassment, a group of heavily armed nooblins turn the corner not too far away, each brandishing one of those new randomly generated, ridiculously high powered weapons capable of killing any of our heroes with a single scratch.
Moogie, worried- "They can kill us with just a single scratch?"
Lhoran, his red eyes glinting- "So he has made something easy for once. Off I go."
With those words, Lhoran dashes towards the nooblins, despite being out numbered and weaponless. The nooblins spot him with a shout.
Nooblin <insert random leter/number combination>- "OMG! Itz teh LOOT! KEEL IT!"
Kwartz- "Brave cat, that one."
Another, even larger group of nooblins with even more powerful (thanks Talad, give the kids sharper knives) weapons comes from another direction, cutting the rest of the group of from Lhoran.
1337 Noblin- "17?5 7|-|3 /\\/\\ ()()613 57()|> 17!!"
Normally, one might wonder why all these nooblins are speaking in caps, phonetically, and -worst of all- numbers and punctuation... but when someone is waving a 500+ damage Sword of the Way Damn Too Much Ungodly Power +1, you tend to let them speak however they wish. You also run. Moogie and the others stare at the nooblins in disbelief. I said RUN!
Kwartz, running- "This is craaaazy, man!"
Leonor, running- stares at his empty palm.
Kwartz, still running- "I said I was sorry."
Nooblin, running- "WOOT I found the autorun key!"
Moogie, running- "Where the hell is a GM when you need one?"
Drey, running- "Like hell I's goin to try to stopped them!"
With that, the writer has to run. Stay tuned for next time, when Noobin R1 shall say upon Nooblin W, "u shud budy up an join my guld cus o ya we kill stuff." [[aside from the writer in this edit. Those were the actual qouted words of one of the guilds that tried to stat up about a year ago. And Venge says there can never be too many guilds.... xD ]]
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*scoffs at nooblins
*loves parodies
I\'ve been reading this for a while, but I was too lazy to post. More, more, more!!!
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To be fair... Most people who play spoonscape... well, you gave them way too much credit to say the least. That made them sound positively scholarly by comparison :rolleyes: They don\'t really have that good or coherent grammar... lol
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Drey, running- ?Like hell I?s goin to try to stopped them!?
bah, with my super powerleveled char (kinda but im out of progression points) i could take out a bunch of noobs by looking at them, also why am i in it?
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Drey, why would you want to stop the nooblins, you\'re a powerleveler after all, that\'s why Draklar called you a \"community peanut\", I\'ve never seen you in character, are you ever?
Hilarious story, Utm, keep up the great work.
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when have you ever saw me? sometimes i make a little bit of effort atm i need to get my fame back. plus noob killing is fun.
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you never used kthx utm ;( im hurt
Drey, not a good example to the community that, \"noob killin is fun\" sure they deserve it, eh.. im out of rant power *walks off mumbling coffee summoning rituals*
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This was the best part of it! It made me laugh, several times even!
Originally uttered by Nooblin, running
WOOT
:tup: several times for this episode!
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i agree, i think this one was the best part.
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Well, I can clearly remember meeting you in the tavern once, you imeadietly greeted me with my name, and soon told me it was above my head when I asked how you knew it, not exactly roleplaying.
I\'m still trying to translate that leet sentence to english, does anyone have a clue what it means?
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Ehem... \"It\'s the Moogie Stop it!\" But the translation may be off.
I tried Demarthl, but I typoed the kthx into a kthz. Sorry \'bout that. Next scene for sure.
I am going to start writing that next scene today, so it may be done sometime or \'soon\' (TM) (C). :D
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Originally posted by Niavard
Well, I can clearly remember meeting you in the tavern once, you imeadietly greeted me with my name, and soon told me it was above my head when I asked how you knew it
O_o
...did i? i have no memory of that :/
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This post is bought to you by the letter 'M' and the number '27'.
And special thanks to Niavard and Mr. Drey for spamming this thread. ;)
Scene twenty-two
~Clicky, copy, paste. Rome wasn't built in a day~
Moogie runs as fast as her Fenki legs can takes her, the others close behind...some of them actually watching where they are going instead of Moogie's...
Moogie, panting- "HEY! Eyes on the road, ya bloody gits!"
Kwartz- "Damn, that dame's got eyes in the back of her head."
Or she just reads what everyone else is doing, like the nooblins catching up due to exploiting a speed bug.
Moogie- "Carpfish! Where do we go?"
A voice whispers in Moogie's ear, though not seeming to come from anywhere.
Voice- "Turn right. Trust me."
There is an alley to the right, which Moogie skids into. The others follow. At the end, the alley splits.
Voice- "Turn left. Trust me."
Moogie turns left at a full run, using the wall to aid her turn. The others follow, though Kwartz takes a chunk of the wall with him, being of the not so graceful type. A street opens up ahead.
Voice- "Straight across. Trust me."
Moogie runs straight across. The others follow. A few pebbles from the broken wall fall from Kwartz shoulders onto Leonor's empty palm, which he had been staring at this entire time.
Moogie, puffing- "That *puff* must take *puff* talent..."
Leonor- "Yay!"
The heroes race into the next alley and turn the only corner, the nooblins' "OMGZORZs", "WOOTs", and uber l337 fade behind them as they try to figure out how to turn corners.
Voice, urgently- "Turn right! NOW!"
Moogie, startled, turns right...and runs headfirst into a wall. The others follow.
Voice, laughing and no longer in Moogie's ear- "As bad as the nooblins, and about as smart."
Moogie extracts herself from the twitching pile of Kran and Enki to see Phinehas sitting on a barrel a few steps away, chuckling to himself.
Moogie, rubbing her nose angrily- "Phinehas! You jerk! You said I could trust you."
Phinehas- "Did I now? How many times?"
Moogie, irritated- "What does that matter?"
Phinehas- "It seems I must enlighten you to the folly of your thinking. You see, I spoke four times, whereas I only said the words 'trust me' thrice. Therefore, you had no right trusting me on the fourth instance. It was rude of you to infer any different."
Moogie, flabbergasted- "So it was my fault?!"
Phinehas, nodding as if to a slow pupil- "Precisely. Now let us continue on this ridiculous quest of yours before those nooblins learn which key turns right."
Phinehas slides off the barrel, grimacing slightly, and begins shuffling towards the end of the alley. Kwartz and Leonor dust themselves off.
Kwartz- "We gunna trust him Moogs?"
Phinehas- "You will if you want to get through Nooblin City with out a trip to the Deathrealm. Trust me."
Moogie- "Fine, whatever. Just get us out of here without anymore trouble."
Kwartz- "Lead on, gramps."
Phinehas grumbles, but continues shuffling towards the end of the alley.
Thirty-seven minutes latter...
Phinehas is still grumbling...and still shuffling towards the end of the alley. Kwartz just finished polishing his great sax, Leonor named all his new pebbles and is now sorting them alphabetically by shape, and Moogie wakes up from the nap she had been taking.
Moogie- "How far now?"
Leonor- "Metric, standard, or as the snail crawls?"
Moogie- "That's it. Kwartz, carry him."
Kwartz obeys, ignoring the indignant squawk of Phinehas as he is piggybacked on one of the Kran's massive shoulders.
Moogie- "Off we are then. Which way?"
Phinehas grumbles but points past an oddly familiar building.
Leonor- "Isn't that Kada'El's Tavern? What gives?"
Moogie- "Ya, it is. Aren't we in... where's Val?"
Phinehas- "That is a tavern, right?"
Moogie, slowly- "Yeeees."
Phinehas- "And he is a dwarf, right?"
Moogie- "Yeeees. What is your...oh crap. We have to get in there right now, damnit!"
The world disappears in a poof of smoke. As it clears, our heroes find themselves standing in the center of the oh so familiar Kada'El's Tavern. Well, most of them find themselves standing. Phinehas, being situated on Kwartz's shoulder, finds his head stuck through the ceiling.
Moogie- "Oh my god! Phinehas! Are you ok?"
Muted voice through the floor- "Not again. At least there is no dripping this time."
Valbrandr- "Moughisd! Coomsh heff ah drang if meh!"
Man behind the bar- "Welcome to Lordbug's Magic Mug, where the drinks are free at a reasonable price!"
Moogie- "Lordbug? Why didn't any GM change your name by now? Isn't this Kada'El's, not the Magic Mug? And how many did he have?"
Lordbug- "To answer your second query first, this is indeed the Magic Mug. It looks like...that other tavern because Xordan was too lazy to actually make his own city, so he just copied all the maps and meshes, and renamed them. He also made Xordan's Temple a lovely pink."
Kwartz- "Hey soda jerk, don't you mean Lan...?"
Lordbug, eyes going wide- "Shhhh! Xordan?s Temple..." His eyes go warily to the mugs hanging on the wall as he continues in a whisper. "They can hear you. You don't want to make them angry. They never sleep. Never, never, never, never..."
Moogie- "Oooookay. We'll be leaving now, come on Val."
Valbrandr- "Awwwwwwsh Murgah, jesh on mooe?"
Man at the end of the bar- "Another round for everyone, on me. Every time someone takes a drink, Talad kills a nooblin. Think of the nooblins."
Lordbug- "That's the spirit, Robin!"
Robinmagus- "I told you not to call me..."
Whatever he was about to say is cut short by a great battle cry from outside the tavern.
Great battle cry- "HOWS DO U OPEN DOORS? KTNX. OH SOORY CAPS LOK."
Robinmagus- "Talad save us! The nooblins finally found the tavern. Someone must have drawn them a map."
Lordbug- "Who would...." spots the end of a pencil sticking out of one of the mugs. "YOU! You little traitors! I'll cut your freaking handles off!"
We leave this scene to the sound of breaking pottery and the sight of Phinehas dangling from the ceiling in the best impression of a Lemur chandelier anyone has ever seen. There should be awards for that.
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:D Nice way to slot in extra characters, though it\'s deviating quite a bit from the Labyrinth storyline now. Still, keep it up. :)
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I agree with myself! If we want the nooblins to leave, we must all get drunk..especially Moogie..
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/me raaaghs at UTM
Awesome! just keeps getting better. As usual, I look forward to the next installment with baited breath.
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Originally posted by Robinmagus
I agree with myself! If we want the nooblins to leave, we must all get drunk..especially Moogie..
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Or you could just call in an army of heros (the rocks) to slaughter the nooblins and save the day.
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I\'m pretty sure all of our heros would prefer moogie drunk, to slay the noobs :P
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Scene twenty-three
~If you can't beat 'em...get a bigger stick~
Moogie, irate- "I do not get drunk! Don't even think about it! Robin can shove it..."
Call him Bin. Outside, the nooblins begin pounding on the walls of the tavern in a way that does -in fact- follow the original storyline quite well. Of course, the nooblin army could just walk in the door, if not for the return of all the door entering collision bugs at once.
Moogie- "So he copied one of the old clients?"
Um...ya, that's as good an explanation as any. But, as stated before, the nooblins are outside about to get in, so there is no time to get drunk...
Valbrandr, drunk- "Ah begr ta differ."
Everyone waits...
Still waiting...
Damn, there must be a bug in the immediate and infinitely painful flame generator.
Moogie- "Or drunk Dwarves aren't flammable."
Good point. Let us continue. The walls begin to shake as the nooblins toss themselves against it in renewed fury. Apparently, Xordan had told them there was a new room somewhere in the tavern. A nooblin slides her wrinkled Dwarven face through a window. Bin lets out a high-pitched girlish scream.
Bin- "Sorry, I thought it was my mom. How we going to get out of here?"
Lordbug sits rocking in a corner, cradling the broken shards of pottery- "I am sorry, my little friends. Let us never fight again, ok? Does anybody have some super glue, duct tape, or chewing gum?"
A nooblin beings slowly creeping though the open door.
Leonon- "Oh carp! They found the unstuck command. Do something Kwartz!"
Kwartz twiddles his huge thumbs.
Moogie- "No! Something useful!"
Kwartz- "Oh. You need ta be more specific, Moogs. Kran ain't all that bright."
Moogie- "Cripes. Use your sax. Summon...something."
Leonor- "The stones! Summon the stones, the stones, the stones..."
Lordbug takes up the chant, followed by Bin- "The mugs...er, stones, the stones, the stones..."
The nooblins, being nooblins and having not a clue as to what is going on, also take up the chant- "The st0n3s, teh s7o|\|es, the stonz..."
Kwartz- "Um...ok...I didn't know you were fans."
Kwartz blows his sax mightily, shaking the Magic Mug with its power. Everyone waits.
Kwartz- "Don't worry, they are always late."
A low rumbling is heard outside, and the nooblins -for once in their PS existence- fall silent. A loud SSSPFSHHHHHHH sounds off. A few seconds later, a gasp of awe comes for the collective nooblin horde. The nooblin in the doorway is pushed aside, and a craggy faced man steps through grandly.
Man- "You are a fine looking bunch of mugs, though some of you seem a bit furry under the ears. Kwartz, looking well as ever."
Moogie squeaks- "MICK JAGGER!?"
Mick Jagger- "In the flesh, love."
Leonor faints.
Kwartz- "Nice of you to come on such short notice, my man."
Moogie squeaks- "MICK JAGGER!?"
Kwartz- "That's been established, Moogs."
Moogie- "Um...and...ah...he...you...are going to help us?"
Mick Jagger- "Sure thing. There is nothing like crushing a few nooblins under foot to blow off a little steam after a long tour. Come on, mugs, lets have at it. The lovely white catlady can drive."
Sir Jagger tosses some keys to Moogie.
Moogie- "Drive?"
Sir Jagger- "The tour bus of course. It is the only mobile thing about this place with collision detection. Custom mesh."
Moogie- "Collis...ooooooh!"
Moogie gets an evil grin. Bin and Lordbug cower.
Bin- "Oh god. She looks that way right before she goes into holy rant mode."
Well, many of you requested that the nooblins to be crushed, mangled, humiliated and otherwise dispatched in new creative ways. Can you think of anything better than Moogie driving the Rolling Stone's tour bus in holy rolling rant mode? Neither could I, except...
Bin- "No! The other gear!"
Gears- "GRRIIINND! CRINK!" *assorted mechanical crunching noises of the not so pleasant type*
The bus come to a shuddering halt only a little ways from the castle. Everyone releases his or her white knuckle grips on whatever happened to be the nearest thing. A few nooblins slide off the windshield with long *squeeeeee*s.
Moogie- "I told you I could'?t drive. Anyways, we're here."
Lordbug- "Thank the Mugs for that."
Bin, just surviving a life threatening and possible limb-losing event- "Hakunamatata. Coulda been worse."
Valbrandr- "Ja sherda let meh drife. Crassy womn dreffers."
Bin- "Like that."
Leonor leaps out and begins kissing the ground. The rest of our heroes follow him out.
Kwartz- "Didn't know you were hungry, Leo."
Lhoran- " 'Tis about time you folks showed up. These chaps have been giving me a bit of trouble."
Three people besides Lhoran sit crouched around some squares drawn on the ground in a T pattern.
Moogie- "You are actually going to go through with this ridiculous hopscotch thing?"
Lhoran- "Of course, my Lady. They have challenged, so I must accept. It is Savion's turn next, then Auran, and finally Lady Adrift."
Adrift- "Call me 'lady' again, and I shall have you whipped into referring to yourself in an annoying third person mannerism."
Savion- "But that is Savion's job. Savion would not like to be replaced. Please whip Savion instead."
Auran- "Keep your degenerate speech to a minimum, Savion. Do not think to befoul the ears of such a lovely blossom as the Madam Mogura. We come here to best them in a game of skill and cunning, not bandy crude words over the reek of spilt ale and unwashed Dwarves..."
Valbrandr- "Ies beg ta differ..."
Adrift- "Differ all you like, Valbrandr, but in the end, you shall be doing the begging you speak of. There are places I will show you so dark even Dwarves fear to tread. Places where I can toy with you endlessly while your last shreds of sanity are ripped from your mind with practiced ease.?
Valbrandr whimpers. Everyone else stares in shock.
Moogie- "Oh come now. I wasn't that mean, was I? And this is really weird. You are creeping me out."
Auran- "You injure the very heart of my soul, Moogie, with your talk of creeping. We are beyond that now. Does my presence disgust you so, my once queen of the darkest shadows? We care nothing for the past anymore, only wishing to cast stones and hop on one foot till none other remain standing. It is only an honest game of Hopscotch we wish to challenge you to."
Savion- "Honest? Savion thought Savion was supposed to cheat."
Adrift smacks her forehead, followed by a smack to the back of Savion's head.
Adrift- "You moron of epic stupidity! No wonder we never let you talk. Remind me to beat you later."
Savion- "Thank you ma'am. Savion deserved that. May Savion have another? Slap Savion with a porkchop."
Moogie- "Enough with the over the top caricatures. Can we please just get on with this? Auran, can't you just let us pass, for old times sake?"
Adrift- "Hands off, wench! No sweet talking is going to save your worthless hide. Save your begging for later after the stones are cast and you lie weeping on the ground."
Moogie, laughing- "That's rich. I'm threatening myself." [[OK, another editing aside. Adrift was Moogie's evil alt character some time back]]
Savion, falling to his knees- "Noo! Only Savion can threaten Savion's self!"
Auran- "If..."
Moogie- "Enough! This parody has gone so far off course it's not even funny anymore. Can we please just get to the end, Moon? No more random characters tossed in?"
As you wish. Auran, Adrift, Bin, Lordbug, Sir Mick Jagger, Savion, and the tour bus vanish in a puff of smoke, in keeping with the cliche way of instant departures. Only Moogie, Valbrandr, Kwartz, Lhoran, and Leonor remain in the empty street at the base of the castle.
Leonor- "Yay!"
Moogie- "Finally, some quiet. Let's go."
Moogie starts heading into the castle, but the others pause.
Kwartz- "Ya forgettin' something, Moogs?"
Moogie- "Oh...ya... I have to go alone, don't I?"
Almost alone. Moogie nods in understanding.
Moogie- "Well guys, it's been... well it's been a pain in the ars is what it's been. But I'll miss you anyways."
Lhoran- "Fare thee well, Lady."
Kwartz- "Stay cool, Moogs."
Valbrandr- "Well allwafe haf Parish."
Leonor hands Moogie his pebbles- "Take care of them."
Moogie turns and strides though the wide castle gates, to face down the villainous hair-stealer once and for all.
*edit*
Far away, in a tavern called the Magic Mug, a Lemur dangles from the ceiling...
Phinehas- "So nice of you to remember me. Now, would you mind?"
Not at all. We bring this scene to a close, so as you people stop staring at Phinehas, which we all know is rude.
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great :D
I was also awestruck when i saw mick jagger
from about 50 feet away ^^;
yea, i went to rolling stones concert in boston.
Anyways, seeing nooblins splattered across a bus is awesome. The screams of little nooblins are like music to my ears!
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That was a great chapter!
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[[It come to the end now, folks. I hope you've had fun.]]
Scene twenty-four
~I have the power~
The huge gates slam shut behind Moogie with a resounding clash, making her jump and squeak in fright.
Moogie- "I did not squeak, and I am not afraid.?"
Did. Are. Moogie growls a little, but begins climbing the only stairs she sees. The stone is cold and hard beneath her paws, the air slightly damp.
Moogie- "Stop with the filler, no one cares about details or they would have all read your other stories."
Ouch. Harsh, but true. To get to the point then, light strains of haunting music begin playing from the dark depths above. Moogie pauses before squaring her shoulders and continuing. After a good number of winding steps, she finally she reaches an opening and stops in confusion.
Moogie- "This is the top of the tower. What the hell?"
Xordan- "Indeed it is, Moogie."
Moogie whirls to find Xordan standing behind her, and not alone. Karyuu, Efflixi, and Acraig stand off to his side, going through what seems to be lyrics and tabs.
Moogie, again- "What the hell? Where's Draklar?"
Karyuu- "Big sissy thought he was to good for us and went solo. He claimed we didn't sing enough 'Viking' songs."
Efflixi- "I was like, 'Dude, they've been dead for like a hundred years or something. But he wouldn't hear it. Thinks he's the second coming of Eric the Red or something. I can see why he was voted as meanest. I mean, he made Acraig cry."
Acraig, sadly- "He said I sang like the Hansens."
Moogie, shocked- "That is downright uncalled for. I'm sure you're better than them. You'd have to be if you can sing at all. So why are you up here with Xordan??"
Xordan- "Obviously, I am the new lead singer of The Postmen. You have to admit, I look damn good with a mic."
Moogie- "I don't have to admit anything. That is my hair on your head. Give it back."
Xordan- "Sure."
Moogie- Really?"
Xordan- "Heck no. Why should things get easy now?"
Moogie rolls her eyes in frustration- "Ok, the hard way then. What now? Isn't there supposed to be some sort of 3D maze thing I have to run through?"
Xordan- "Are you joking? We can hardly keep things working with one up and down."
Moogie- "This is going nowhere. So what is supposed to happen?"
Xordan- "Karaoke, of course. This is a musical, after all. Ready, Postmen?" He pulls out a kazoo and gives it a short toot. "Our first song is a single off our new album: 'Life is a Glitch' titled: 'You Fell Off the Edge of the World (And Died)'. Cds and T-shirts will be available after the perfomance. We don't do autographs."
Moogie- "Thank Talad for that."
Xordan ignores Moogie's jab and raises a hand to the others. Karyuu strokes the frets of her gweetar (jose made me do it), Acraig sounds the beat on drums, and Efflixi...well, he plays a mean tambourine. Xodan begins to sing.
-You think your post count matters
-I?m here to tell you it's truuuuuue
-In the minds of the nooblins
-I am far better than youuuuu
-You can't fight the system
-The system always wins in the end
-But you can never go wrong
-With Xordan as your friend
The others join in.
-Follow us to the horizon of tomorrow
-Listen our orders or read the words that say
-You fell off the edge of the world
-And died... and died
-You fell of the edge of the world
-And died...and died today.
Moogie- "I can't take it! Keep the hair!"
Moogie runs to the edge of the tower, and does as countless nooblins and players alike have done in the past... 'trips' and falls off the edge. The music thankfully fades behind her. But she does not hit the ground. Instead, the world dissolves around her, leaving nothing but chunks of random texture floating on a black backdrop. As her feet alight on something solid, Xordan appears before her, his hair blowing in all directions at once in his greatest effect ever.
Xordan- "That was rude. You walked out on Efflixi's tambourine solo. He'll never forgive you."
Moogie- "Then I left just in time. It's time to give my hair back, Xordan. You're a Klyros for crying out loud. Do you realize how ridiculous you look?"
Xodan- "I have it on good authority that I look quite nice."
Moogie- "Um...I know this part! Give me the wig. Through idiocy unknown, and morons unnumbered, I have trudged, tripped, fallen, climbed, ran, transported, and finally driven a bus here to your unauthorized cardboard castle at the center of Nooblin City to take back the hair that you have shaved from my head...now I'm supposed to pause dramatically while you try to convince me to be your slave or something.?"
Xordan pulls out the kinda pretty snowglobe that really doesn't do a whole lot, and shakes it.
"Remember what I offer you, Moogie. You can be my slave. I mean, who wouldn't want to be the great Xordan's slave. Think of the fringe benefits. Health, dental, your own parking space, and free slushies on Friday. And best of all, you get to play PlaneShift for FREE!"
"PlaneShift will always be free, Xordan."
"You can give me my dreams, Moogie."
Moogie grins and points a finger at Xordan- "Xordan... I PAWNS you! All your base are belong to me!"
Xordan- "Oh carpfish."
The wind builds to tremendous proportions, causing Moogie to shield her eyes. The wind becomes so powerful, she is forced to the ground to keep from being tossed about. When the wind dies, she opens her eyes slowy...to see the familiar yellow walls of her room. She reaches up to touch her head, and finds every strand of red hair just as it had been...in a complete mess, brush, twig and all. Safe and sound. An IRC channel blinks on her screen. #PS-ifyouneedus. Moogie looks at the nicklist to see all of her friend's names listed. @Underthemoon rests on top, even though he has no idea what the @ is.
Moogie, smiling- "I'm home."
~The end of this story?the beginning of another?
Thank you all for sticking with me on this, and for Moogie putting up with me. My apologies to anyone I left out and for taking so long to finish. This will likely be the last long parody I do, as Draklar is far better at them anyways. I hope you enjoyed this tale. I will now be going back to writing my 'Chain of Souls stories, of which I have over 100k words to write.
*bows out*
<edit>
Far in the wilds of the lands of PS, a voice is heard, full of sorrow and despair.
"Oh gods! I am bald! Somebody get me a hat!"
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Excellent as always. I look forward to the rest of Chain of Souls. :)
:diamond: :diamond: :diamond: :diamond: :diamond:
^ That\'s my 5-star rating, by the way. ;)
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claps,
whew now I can ignore this forum for a while.
:P
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It\'s a ploy! Now that there\'s no more \"porody\" for me to read, I\'ll have to go back and read your other stuff. This was witty, intelligent, and addictive all the way through. /me hands Underthemoon an award for Oustanding Achievement in the field of Excellence.
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Ralas has exposed me evil plan! But it is too late! No one can stop me now! You are all TRAPPED! Mine! You are ALL MINE!!
Muhahahahahahahaha!
(Actually, it did start out as somewhat of a bribe to get someone to read my stories. :D)
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That was addictive. And funny. And it\'s too bad there\'s no way to drag it out longer...
Unless...
*Grabs a Cyl and attaches Moon to his PC
More!!!! More, I tell you!!!
Btw, I already read CoS and what there is of CoS:SM, so it\'s too late for me. HELP!!! IM A UtM ADDICT!!!! GET ME OUT!!!
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*bump*
Evil I know, but what are you going to do about it?
Ok ok, before Karyuu starts beating me for taking advantage of her good will, I should explain that I actually have a reason for resurrecting this thread.
I only yesterday got to read the last couple of chapters. To tell the truth, I read the whole thing over. For those of you who haven't read it, do. For those of you who have read it, do it again. Trust me, you won't regret it.
I'm not the kind of person who laughs when they're alone. If I read something amusing, I raise my eyebrows. If I read something funny, I smile. If I read something hilarious, I grin. This story, however, put me into the state of needing to exercise control over myself to keep from laughing so hard as to wake my roommate and spew Pepsi all over my monitor. Now, I'm the first to admit that it was late and I was tired, and that affected my emotions, but still this thread is worth a read. If you don't crack up at least five separate times, then... well, I think of something for that later.
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Evil? Incredibly, as I had to spend the last three days of my spare time editing out all of those darn question marks. Though, I do admit I liked reading it again. Funny stuffs, I must admit. :)
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Do you get the feeling that there are only two serious writers here, you and me, and I don't even count?
*Phinehas nudges Moon as they laugh over all sorts of writer-only jokes and secrets.*
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Dacapo, UTM! I very much enjoyed reading it though I am of a bit more sturdier nature then old Phinehas ;] I would very much have liked to be in this story-Once again, dacapo, and encore. I hope to smile continously throughout 9 more pages and wish you the best of luck in future writings(Yes, I want you to write 9 more pages ;])
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God!So long!
/me pants while buckets of sweat sit at his feet.
Very very well done. Funny too. Put me in your next one! Good job \\o//
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I very much enjoyed reading it though I am of a bit more sturdier nature then old Phinehas ;]
I beg to differ. There is no more sturdier nature than mine. It's just that you're too "young" for the jokes to be truly amusing to you, plus your character is not in the story. In fact, if I was you, I'd probably find it rather boring. It's knowing the people, not just about them, that makes the parody funny.
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Oh, I thought we were in character. My excuses. Good story.