The Labyrinth (a parody) staring Moogie. (Done reformating. Read it again. Now.)

[Drey]

when have you ever saw me? sometimes i make a little bit of effort atm i need to get my fame back. plus noob killing is fun.

[Keyaz]

you never used kthx utm  ;(  im hurt

Drey, not a good example to the community that, \"noob killin is fun\" sure they deserve it, eh.. im out of rant power *walks off mumbling coffee summoning rituals*

[Seytra]

This was the best part of it! It made me laugh, several times even!

Originally uttered by Nooblin, running
WOOT

:tup: several times for this episode!

[Drey]

i agree, i think this one was the best part.

[Niavard]

Well, I can clearly remember meeting you in the tavern once, you imeadietly greeted me with my name, and soon told me it was above my head when I asked how you knew it, not exactly roleplaying.

I\'m still trying to translate that leet sentence to english, does anyone have a clue what it means?

[Under the moon]

Ehem... \"It\'s the Moogie Stop it!\" But the translation may be off.

I tried Demarthl, but I typoed the kthx into a kthz. Sorry \'bout that. Next scene for sure.

I am going to start writing that next scene today, so it may be done sometime or \'soon\' (TM) (C).  

[Drey]

Originally posted by Niavard
Well, I can clearly remember meeting you in the tavern once, you imeadietly greeted me with my name, and soon told me it was above my head when I asked how you knew it

O_o

...did i? i have no memory of that  :/

[Under the moon]

This post is bought to you by the letter 'M' and the number '27'.
And special thanks to Niavard and Mr. Drey for spamming this thread.


Scene twenty-two
~Clicky, copy, paste. Rome wasn't built in a day~

Moogie runs as fast as her Fenki legs can takes her, the others close behind...some of them actually watching where they are going instead of Moogie's...

Moogie, panting- "HEY! Eyes on the road, ya bloody gits!"

Kwartz- "Damn, that dame's got eyes in the back of her head."

Or she just reads what everyone else is doing, like the nooblins catching up due to exploiting a speed bug.

Moogie- "Carpfish! Where do we go?"

A voice whispers in Moogie's ear, though not seeming to come from anywhere.

Voice- "Turn right. Trust me."

There is an alley to the right, which Moogie skids into. The others follow. At the end, the alley splits.

Voice- "Turn left. Trust me."

Moogie turns left at a full run, using the wall to aid her turn. The others follow, though Kwartz takes a chunk of the wall with him, being of the not so graceful type. A street opens up ahead.

Voice- "Straight across. Trust me."

Moogie runs straight across. The others follow. A few pebbles from the broken wall fall from Kwartz shoulders onto Leonor's empty palm, which he had been staring at this entire time.

Moogie, puffing- "That *puff* must take *puff* talent..."

Leonor- "Yay!"

The heroes race into the next alley and turn the only corner, the nooblins' "OMGZORZs", "WOOTs", and uber l337 fade behind them as they try to figure out how to turn corners.

Voice, urgently- "Turn right! NOW!"

Moogie, startled, turns right...and runs headfirst into a wall. The others follow.

Voice, laughing and no longer in Moogie's ear- "As bad as the nooblins, and about as smart."

Moogie extracts herself from the twitching pile of Kran and Enki to see Phinehas sitting on a barrel a few steps away, chuckling to himself.

Moogie, rubbing her nose angrily- "Phinehas! You jerk! You said I could trust you."

Phinehas- "Did I now? How many times?"

Moogie, irritated- "What does that matter?"

Phinehas- "It seems I must enlighten you to the folly of your thinking. You see, I spoke four times, whereas I only said the words 'trust me' thrice. Therefore, you had no right trusting me on the fourth instance. It was rude of you to infer any different."

Moogie, flabbergasted- "So it was my fault?!"

Phinehas, nodding as if to a slow pupil- "Precisely. Now let us continue on this ridiculous quest of yours before those nooblins learn which key turns right."

Phinehas slides off the barrel, grimacing slightly, and begins shuffling towards the end of the alley. Kwartz and Leonor dust themselves off.

Kwartz- "We gunna trust him Moogs?"

Phinehas- "You will if you want to get through Nooblin City with out a trip to the Deathrealm. Trust me."

Moogie- "Fine, whatever. Just get us out of here without anymore trouble."

Kwartz- "Lead on, gramps."

Phinehas grumbles, but continues shuffling towards the end of the alley.

Thirty-seven minutes latter...

Phinehas is still grumbling...and still shuffling towards the end of the alley. Kwartz just finished polishing his great sax, Leonor named all his new pebbles and is now sorting them alphabetically by shape, and Moogie wakes up from the nap she had been taking.

Moogie- "How far now?"

Leonor- "Metric, standard, or as the snail crawls?"

Moogie- "That's it. Kwartz, carry him."

Kwartz obeys, ignoring the indignant squawk of Phinehas as he is piggybacked on one of the Kran's massive shoulders.

Moogie- "Off we are then. Which way?"

Phinehas grumbles but points past an oddly familiar building.

Leonor- "Isn't that Kada'El's Tavern? What gives?"

Moogie- "Ya, it is. Aren't we in... where's Val?"

Phinehas- "That is a tavern, right?"

Moogie, slowly- "Yeeees."

Phinehas- "And he is a dwarf, right?"

Moogie- "Yeeees. What is your...oh crap. We have to get in there right now, damnit!"

The world disappears in a poof of smoke. As it clears, our heroes find themselves standing in the center of the oh so familiar Kada'El's Tavern. Well, most of them find themselves standing. Phinehas, being situated on Kwartz's shoulder, finds his head stuck through the ceiling.

Moogie- "Oh my god! Phinehas! Are you ok?"

Muted voice through the floor- "Not again. At least there is no dripping this time."

Valbrandr- "Moughisd! Coomsh heff ah drang if meh!"

Man behind the bar- "Welcome to Lordbug's Magic Mug, where the drinks are free at a reasonable price!"

Moogie- "Lordbug? Why didn't any GM change your name by now? Isn't this Kada'El's, not the Magic Mug? And how many did he have?"

Lordbug- "To answer your second query first, this is indeed the Magic Mug. It looks like...that other tavern because Xordan was too lazy to actually make his own city, so he just copied all the maps and meshes, and renamed them. He also made Xordan's Temple a lovely pink."

Kwartz- "Hey soda jerk, don't you mean Lan...?"

Lordbug, eyes going wide- "Shhhh! Xordan?s Temple..." His eyes go warily to the mugs hanging on the wall as he continues in a whisper. "They can hear you. You don't want to make them angry. They never sleep. Never, never, never, never..."

Moogie- "Oooookay. We'll be leaving now, come on Val."

Valbrandr- "Awwwwwwsh Murgah, jesh on mooe?"

Man at the end of the bar- "Another round for everyone, on me. Every time someone takes a drink, Talad kills a nooblin. Think of the nooblins."

Lordbug- "That's the spirit, Robin!"

Robinmagus- "I told you not to call me..."

Whatever he was about to say is cut short by a great battle cry from outside the tavern.

Great battle cry- "HOWS DO U OPEN DOORS? KTNX. OH SOORY CAPS LOK."

Robinmagus- "Talad save us! The nooblins finally found the tavern. Someone must have drawn them a map."

Lordbug- "Who would...." spots the end of a pencil sticking out of one of the mugs. "YOU! You little traitors! I'll cut your freaking handles off!"

We leave this scene to the sound of breaking pottery and the sight of Phinehas dangling from the ceiling in the best impression of a Lemur chandelier anyone has ever seen. There should be awards for that.

[Moogie]

Nice way to slot in extra characters, though it\'s deviating quite a bit from the Labyrinth storyline now. Still, keep it up.

[Robinmagus]

I agree with myself! If we want the nooblins to leave, we must all get drunk..especially Moogie..

>>
<<

[Ralas]

/me raaaghs at UTM

Awesome!  just keeps getting better.  As usual, I look forward to the next installment with baited breath.

[Hatchnet]

Originally posted by Robinmagus
I agree with myself! If we want the nooblins to leave, we must all get drunk..especially Moogie..

>>
<<

Or you could just call in an army of heros (the rocks) to slaughter the nooblins and save the day.

[Robinmagus]

I\'m pretty sure all of our heros would prefer moogie drunk, to slay the noobs

[Under the moon]

Scene twenty-three
~If you can't beat 'em...get a bigger stick~

Moogie, irate- "I do not get drunk! Don't even think about it! Robin can shove it..."

Call him Bin. Outside, the nooblins begin pounding on the walls of the tavern in a way that does -in fact- follow the original storyline quite well. Of course, the nooblin army could just walk in the door, if not for the return of all the door entering collision bugs at once.

Moogie- "So he copied one of the old clients?"

Um...ya, that's as good an explanation as any. But, as stated before, the nooblins are outside about to get in, so there is no time to get drunk...

Valbrandr, drunk- "Ah begr ta differ."

Everyone waits...

Still waiting...

Damn, there must be a bug in the immediate and infinitely painful flame generator.

Moogie- "Or drunk Dwarves aren't flammable."

Good point. Let us continue. The walls begin to shake as the nooblins toss themselves against it in renewed fury. Apparently, Xordan had told them there was a new room somewhere in the tavern. A nooblin slides her wrinkled Dwarven face through a window. Bin lets out a high-pitched girlish scream.

Bin- "Sorry, I thought it was my mom. How we going to get out of here?"

Lordbug sits rocking in a corner, cradling the broken shards of pottery- "I am sorry, my little friends. Let us never fight again, ok? Does anybody have some super glue, duct tape, or chewing gum?"

A nooblin beings slowly creeping though the open door.

Leonon- "Oh carp! They found the unstuck command. Do something Kwartz!"

Kwartz twiddles his huge thumbs.

Moogie- "No! Something useful!"

Kwartz- "Oh. You need ta be more specific, Moogs. Kran ain't all that bright."

Moogie- "Cripes. Use your sax. Summon...something."

Leonor- "The stones! Summon the stones, the stones, the stones..."

Lordbug takes up the chant, followed by Bin- "The mugs...er, stones, the stones, the stones..."

The nooblins, being nooblins and having not a clue as to what is going on, also take up the chant- "The st0n3s, teh s7o|\|es, the stonz..."

Kwartz- "Um...ok...I didn't know you were fans."

Kwartz blows his sax mightily, shaking the Magic Mug with its power. Everyone waits.

Kwartz- "Don't worry, they are always late."

A low rumbling is heard outside, and the nooblins -for once in their PS existence- fall silent. A loud SSSPFSHHHHHHH sounds off. A few seconds later, a gasp of awe comes for the collective nooblin horde. The nooblin in the doorway is pushed aside, and a craggy faced man steps through grandly.

Man- "You are a fine looking bunch of mugs, though some of you seem a bit furry under the ears. Kwartz, looking well as ever."

Moogie squeaks- "MICK JAGGER!?"

Mick Jagger- "In the flesh, love."

Leonor faints.

Kwartz- "Nice of you to come on such short notice, my man."

Moogie squeaks- "MICK JAGGER!?"

Kwartz- "That's been established, Moogs."

Moogie- "Um...and...ah...he...you...are going to help us?"

Mick Jagger- "Sure thing. There is nothing like crushing a few nooblins under foot to blow off a little steam after a long tour. Come on, mugs, lets have at it. The lovely white catlady can drive."

Sir Jagger tosses some keys to Moogie.

Moogie- "Drive?"

Sir Jagger- "The tour bus of course. It is the only mobile thing about this place with collision detection. Custom mesh."

Moogie- "Collis...ooooooh!"

Moogie gets an evil grin. Bin and Lordbug cower.

Bin- "Oh god. She looks that way right before she goes into holy rant mode."

Well, many of you requested that the nooblins to be crushed, mangled, humiliated and otherwise dispatched in new creative ways. Can you think of anything better than Moogie driving the Rolling Stone's tour bus in holy rolling rant mode? Neither could I, except...

Bin- "No! The other gear!"

Gears- "GRRIIINND! CRINK!" *assorted mechanical crunching noises of the not so pleasant type*

The bus come to a shuddering halt only a little ways from the castle. Everyone releases his or her white knuckle grips on whatever happened to be the nearest thing. A few nooblins slide off the windshield with long *squeeeeee*s.

Moogie- "I told you I could'?t drive. Anyways, we're here."

Lordbug- "Thank the Mugs for that."

Bin, just surviving a life threatening and possible limb-losing event- "Hakunamatata. Coulda been worse."

Valbrandr- "Ja sherda let meh drife. Crassy womn dreffers."

Bin- "Like that."

Leonor leaps out and begins kissing the ground. The rest of our heroes follow him out.

Kwartz- "Didn't know you were hungry, Leo."

 Lhoran- " 'Tis about time you folks showed up. These chaps have been giving me a bit of trouble."

Three people besides Lhoran sit crouched around some squares drawn on the ground in a T pattern.

Moogie- "You are actually going to go through with this ridiculous hopscotch thing?"

Lhoran- "Of course, my Lady. They have challenged, so I must accept. It is Savion's turn next, then Auran, and finally Lady Adrift."

Adrift- "Call me 'lady' again, and I shall have you whipped into referring to yourself in an annoying third person mannerism."

Savion- "But that is Savion's job. Savion would not like to be replaced. Please whip Savion instead."

Auran- "Keep your degenerate speech to a minimum, Savion. Do not think to befoul the ears of such a lovely blossom as the Madam Mogura. We come here to best them in a game of skill and cunning, not bandy crude words over the reek of spilt ale and unwashed Dwarves..."

Valbrandr- "Ies beg ta differ..."

Adrift- "Differ all you like, Valbrandr, but in the end, you shall be doing the begging you speak of. There are places I will show you so dark even Dwarves fear to tread. Places where I can toy with you endlessly while your last shreds of sanity are ripped from your mind with practiced ease.?

Valbrandr whimpers. Everyone else stares in shock.

Moogie- "Oh come now. I wasn't that mean, was I? And this is really weird. You are creeping me out."

Auran- "You injure the very heart of my soul, Moogie, with your talk of creeping. We are beyond that now. Does my presence disgust you so, my once queen of the darkest shadows? We care nothing for the past anymore, only wishing to cast stones and hop on one foot till none other remain standing. It is only an honest game of Hopscotch we wish to challenge you to."

Savion- "Honest? Savion thought Savion was supposed to cheat."

Adrift smacks her forehead, followed by a smack to the back of Savion's head.

Adrift- "You moron of epic stupidity! No wonder we never let you talk. Remind me to beat you later."

Savion- "Thank you ma'am. Savion deserved that. May Savion have another? Slap Savion with a porkchop."

Moogie- "Enough with the over the top caricatures. Can we please just get on with this? Auran, can't you just let us pass, for old times sake?"

Adrift- "Hands off, wench! No sweet talking is going to save your worthless hide. Save your begging for later after the stones are cast and you lie weeping on the ground."

Moogie, laughing- "That's rich. I'm threatening myself." [[OK, another editing aside. Adrift was Moogie's evil alt character some time back]]

Savion, falling to his knees- "Noo! Only Savion can threaten Savion's self!"

Auran- "If..."

Moogie- "Enough! This parody has gone so far off course it's not even funny anymore. Can we please just get to the end, Moon? No more random characters tossed in?"

As you wish. Auran, Adrift, Bin, Lordbug, Sir Mick Jagger, Savion, and the tour bus vanish in a puff of smoke, in keeping with the cliche way of instant departures. Only Moogie, Valbrandr, Kwartz, Lhoran, and Leonor remain in the empty street at the base of the castle.

Leonor- "Yay!"

Moogie- "Finally, some quiet. Let's go."

Moogie starts heading into the castle, but the others pause.

Kwartz- "Ya forgettin' something, Moogs?"

Moogie- "Oh...ya... I have to go alone, don't I?"

Almost alone. Moogie nods in understanding.

Moogie- "Well guys, it's been... well it's been a pain in the ars is what it's been. But I'll miss you anyways."

Lhoran- "Fare thee well, Lady."

Kwartz- "Stay cool, Moogs."

Valbrandr- "Well allwafe haf Parish."

Leonor hands Moogie his pebbles- "Take care of them."

Moogie turns and strides though the wide castle gates, to face down the villainous hair-stealer once and for all.

*edit*

Far away, in a tavern called the Magic Mug, a Lemur dangles from the ceiling...

Phinehas- "So nice of you to remember me. Now, would you mind?"

Not at all. We bring this scene to a close, so as you people stop staring at Phinehas, which we all know is rude.

[dragonfire999]

great

 I was also awestruck when i saw mick jagger

from about 50 feet away ^^;

yea, i went to rolling stones concert in boston.

Anyways, seeing nooblins splattered across a bus is awesome. The screams of little nooblins are like music to my ears!