The Labyrinth (a parody) staring Moogie. (Done reformating. Read it again. Now.)

[Moogie]

That was a great chapter!

[Under the moon]

[[It come to the end now, folks. I hope you've had fun.]]


Scene twenty-four
~I have the power~

The huge gates slam shut behind Moogie with a resounding clash, making her jump and squeak in fright.

Moogie- "I did not squeak, and I am not afraid.?"

Did. Are. Moogie growls a little, but begins climbing the only stairs she sees. The stone is cold and hard beneath her paws, the air slightly damp.

Moogie- "Stop with the filler, no one cares about details or they would have all read your other stories."

Ouch. Harsh, but true. To get to the point then, light strains of haunting music begin playing from the dark depths above. Moogie pauses before squaring her shoulders and continuing. After a good number of winding steps, she finally she reaches an opening and stops in confusion.

Moogie- "This is the top of the tower. What the hell?"

Xordan- "Indeed it is, Moogie."

Moogie whirls to find Xordan standing behind her, and not alone. Karyuu, Efflixi, and Acraig stand off to his side, going through what seems to be lyrics and tabs.

Moogie, again- "What the hell? Where's Draklar?"

Karyuu- "Big sissy thought he was to good for us and went solo. He claimed we didn't sing enough 'Viking' songs."

Efflixi- "I was like, 'Dude, they've been dead for like a hundred years or something. But he wouldn't hear it. Thinks he's the second coming of Eric the Red or something. I can see why he was voted as meanest. I mean, he made Acraig cry."

Acraig, sadly- "He said I sang like the Hansens."

Moogie, shocked- "That is downright uncalled for. I'm sure you're better than them. You'd have to be if you can sing at all. So why are you up here with Xordan??"

Xordan- "Obviously, I am the new lead singer of The Postmen. You have to admit, I look damn good with a mic."

Moogie- "I don't have to admit anything. That is my hair on your head. Give it back."

Xordan- "Sure."

Moogie- Really?"

Xordan- "Heck no. Why should things get easy now?"

Moogie rolls her eyes in frustration- "Ok, the hard way then. What now? Isn't there supposed to be some sort of 3D maze thing I have to run through?"

Xordan- "Are you joking? We can hardly keep things working with one up and down."

Moogie- "This is going nowhere. So what is supposed to happen?"

Xordan- "Karaoke, of course. This is a musical, after all. Ready, Postmen?" He pulls out a kazoo and gives it a short toot. "Our first song is a single off our new album: 'Life is a Glitch' titled: 'You Fell Off the Edge of the World (And Died)'. Cds and T-shirts will be available after the perfomance. We don't do autographs."

Moogie- "Thank Talad for that."

Xordan ignores Moogie's jab and raises a hand to the others. Karyuu strokes the frets of her gweetar (jose made me do it), Acraig sounds the beat on drums, and Efflixi...well, he plays a mean tambourine. Xodan begins to sing.

-You think your post count matters
-I?m here to tell you it's truuuuuue
-In the minds of the nooblins
-I am far better than youuuuu

-You can't fight the system
-The system always wins in the end
-But you can never go wrong
-With Xordan as your friend

The others join in.

-Follow us to the horizon of tomorrow
-Listen our orders or read the words that say
-You fell off the edge of the world
-And died... and died
-You fell of the edge of the world
-And died...and died today.

Moogie- "I can't take it! Keep the hair!"

Moogie runs to the edge of the tower, and does as countless nooblins and players alike have done in the past... 'trips' and falls off the edge. The music thankfully fades behind her. But she does not hit the ground. Instead, the world dissolves around her, leaving nothing but chunks of random texture floating on a black backdrop. As her feet alight on something solid, Xordan appears before her, his hair blowing in all directions at once in his greatest effect ever.

Xordan- "That was rude. You walked out on Efflixi's tambourine solo. He'll never forgive you."

Moogie- "Then I left just in time. It's time to give my hair back, Xordan. You're a Klyros for crying out loud. Do you realize how ridiculous you look?"

Xodan- "I have it on good authority that I look quite nice."

Moogie- "Um...I know this part! Give me the wig. Through idiocy unknown, and morons unnumbered, I have trudged, tripped, fallen, climbed, ran, transported, and finally driven a bus here to your unauthorized cardboard castle at the center of Nooblin City to take back the hair that you have shaved from my head...now I'm supposed to pause dramatically while you try to convince me to be your slave or something.?"

Xordan pulls out the kinda pretty snowglobe that really doesn't do a whole lot, and shakes it.

"Remember what I offer you, Moogie. You can be my slave. I mean, who wouldn't want to be the great Xordan's slave. Think of the fringe benefits. Health, dental, your own parking space, and free slushies on Friday. And best of all, you get to play PlaneShift for FREE!"

"PlaneShift will always be free, Xordan."

"You can give me my dreams, Moogie."

Moogie grins and points a finger at Xordan- "Xordan... I PAWNS you! All your base are belong to me!"

Xordan- "Oh carpfish."

The wind builds to tremendous proportions, causing Moogie to shield her eyes. The wind becomes so powerful, she is forced to the ground to keep from being tossed about. When the wind dies, she opens her eyes slowy...to see the familiar yellow walls of her room. She reaches up to touch her head, and finds every strand of red hair just as it had been...in a complete mess, brush, twig and all. Safe and sound. An IRC channel blinks on her screen. #PS-ifyouneedus. Moogie looks at the nicklist to see all of her friend's names listed. @Underthemoon rests on top, even though he has no idea what the @ is.

Moogie, smiling- "I'm home."

~The end of this story?the beginning of another?

Thank you all for sticking with me on this, and for Moogie putting up with me. My apologies to anyone I left out and for taking so long to finish. This will likely be the last long parody I do, as Draklar is far better at them anyways. I hope you enjoyed this tale. I will now be going back to writing my 'Chain of Souls stories, of which I have over 100k words to write.

*bows out*

<edit>

Far in the wilds of the lands of PS, a voice is heard, full of sorrow and despair.

"Oh gods! I am bald! Somebody get me a hat!"

[Cha0s]

Excellent as always. I look forward to the rest of Chain of Souls.

:diamond: :diamond: :diamond: :diamond: :diamond:
^ That\'s my 5-star rating, by the way.

[derwoodly]

claps,
whew now I can ignore this forum for a while.

[Ralas]

It\'s a ploy!  Now that there\'s no more \"porody\" for me to read, I\'ll have to go back and read your other stuff.  This was witty, intelligent, and addictive all the way through.  /me hands Underthemoon an award for Oustanding Achievement in the field of Excellence.

[Under the moon]

Ralas has exposed me evil plan! But it is too late! No one can stop me now! You are all TRAPPED! Mine! You are ALL MINE!!

Muhahahahahahahaha!

(Actually, it did start out as somewhat of a bribe to get someone to read my stories. )

[Rerogo]

That was addictive. And funny. And it\'s too bad there\'s no way to drag it out longer...

Unless...

*Grabs a Cyl and attaches Moon to his PC
More!!!! More, I tell you!!!

Btw, I already read CoS and what there is of CoS:SM, so it\'s too late for me. HELP!!! IM A UtM ADDICT!!!! GET ME OUT!!!

[Phinehas]

*bump*

Evil I know, but what are you going to do about it?

Ok ok, before Karyuu starts beating me for taking advantage of her good will, I should explain that I actually have a reason for resurrecting this thread.

I only yesterday got to read the last couple of chapters. To tell the truth, I read the whole thing over. For those of you who haven't read it, do. For those of you who have read it, do it again. Trust me, you won't regret it.

I'm not the kind of person who laughs when they're alone. If I read something amusing, I raise my eyebrows. If I read something funny, I smile. If I read something hilarious, I grin. This story, however, put me into the state of needing to exercise control over myself to keep from laughing so hard as to wake my roommate and spew Pepsi all over my monitor. Now, I'm the first to admit that it was late and I was tired, and that affected my emotions, but still this thread is worth a read. If you don't crack up at least five separate times, then... well, I think of something for that later.

[Under the moon]

Evil? Incredibly, as I had to spend the last three days of my spare time editing out all of those darn question marks. Though, I do admit I liked reading it again. Funny stuffs, I must admit.

[Phinehas]

Do you get the feeling that there are only two serious writers here, you and me, and I don't even count?

*Phinehas nudges Moon as they laugh over all sorts of writer-only jokes and secrets.*

[Baldur]

Dacapo, UTM! I very much enjoyed reading it though I am of a bit more sturdier nature then old Phinehas ;] I would very much have liked to be in this story-Once again, dacapo, and encore. I hope to smile continously throughout 9 more pages and wish you the best of luck in future writings(Yes, I want you to write 9 more pages ;])

[Dahoma]

God!So long!

* Dahoma pants while buckets of sweat sit at his feet.

Very very well done. Funny too. Put me in your next one! Good job 

[Phinehas]

I very much enjoyed reading it though I am of a bit more sturdier nature then old Phinehas ;]

I beg to differ. There is no more sturdier nature than mine. It's just that you're too "young" for the jokes to be truly amusing to you, plus your character is not in the story. In fact, if I was you, I'd probably find it rather boring. It's knowing the people, not just about them, that makes the parody funny.

[Baldur]

Oh, I thought we were in character. My excuses. Good story.