Scene Twenty
~There's more than one way to skin a cat~
Instead of my usual prolog, we shall try something different this time, jumping right into a little action.
Taser- "Hold still! I'm just goin' to send you to the Deathrealm for a little while, nothing permanent."
Taser swings the ridiculously large claymore again, wielding it as if it were no heavier than a big, fluffy pillow. Not to mention she is only using one hand, and her left one at that. This is quite a feat, being that she is not only out weighed by her own sword, but is also right handed. Lhoran removes his head from the path of the whistling blade, grinning widely. Now, you may wonder why Lhoran would have such an expression on his face when said face is in severe peril of being removed rather messily. Well, you may remember that he was introduced as being brave and fearless to a fault. What was not mentioned is that he is somewhat reckless, hence, the sometimes dead part. But perhaps the greatest reason for the grin is the fact that he is facing a profusely perspiring Fenki with great...er...strength, who has no qualms about showing it off.
Moogie, staying out of dangers way- "You enjoyed writing that, didn't you?"
Immensely. I enjoy everything I write. Where was I? You distracted me. Oh yes, admiring Misses Rander's strength. Lhoran jumps to the side nimbly as Taser's sword cleaves the stone where had just been standing.
Lhoran, encouragingly- "You must do better than that, Lady Rander. You simply are not trying hard enough."
Kwartz, also grinning- "Cast Cold on her!"
Moogie- "That wouldn't do any good. It's bugged. All it would do is...."
Moogie stops and stares at Kwartz's huge widening grin.
Leonor- "Yay!"
Okay, sorry. I'm done now. You can't expect me to direct all of my comments towards Moogie, now can you? Getting back to the tale, regretfully or thankfully, depending on how you view it, Lhoran is not in possession of said cold Glyph. In fact, none of or ill prepared heroes possess a helpful Glyph of any sort.
Moogie- "None of us have a Glyph?"
Leonor, holding out his pebbles- "I have these."
Kwartz- "Yum!"
Kwartz snatches the pebbles out of Leonor's hand and pops them into his mouth, crunches once loudly, and swallows. Leonor stares in shock at his empty hand with a look similar to that of a lost puppy in the rain.
Moogie, frowning- "Now that was just plain mean, Moon. And now we don't have any magic at all."
A little mean, yes, but it sets up this next part nicely. Speaking of which, Kwartz looks bashfully at Leonor's empty hand as Lhoran dodges yet another of Taser's mighty swings.
Kwartz- "Sorry man. I didn't know they where friends of yours."
Leonor stares blankly at his empty palm.
Kwartz- " Wait! I do have this Red Way Glyph. It's yours, Leo."
Kwartz /trades Leonor said Glyph. Leonor looks at it doubtfully as Lhoran leaps over a low swing with a loud "HA!"
Leonor- "Meh. It's not the same. What does it do?"
Kwartz- "Makes and endless supply of tasty tacos is all."
Leonor- "Yay!"
Now, I could let Leo keep the Red Way Glyph of Infinite Tacos, but I did say he was to be abused henceforth. Sooo?
A figure swings out of nowhere on a Cyl tied to a protruding buttress overhead, sweeping the Glyph from Leonor's hand in a flurry of post-it notes.
josePhoenix- "MINE!"
jose vanishes over the outer wall at the end of his swing, his post-it cape flaring dramatically in the wind.
The fading voice of josePhoenix- "All phear the Taco and Toast conspiracy!"
Leonor stares at his empty palm.
The Cyl, still tied to the overhang, makes a sudden and simple statement- "Orange."
Eveyone, including a puffing Taser- "Orange?"
The Cyl, grinning for the first time in the parody- "Yes, orange you glad I didn't say banana?"
Come on, you all knew it was coming. Admit it, you chuckled. Everyone groans, except for Taser, who begins laughing hysterically. While she is doing so, the heroes have time to plan their next move.
Lhoran- "So what is our next move?"
The Cyl, still tied to the overhang- "If I may suggest something?"
Moogie- "As long as you don't say banana or orange."
The Cyl, nodding- "Given what we know of Taser Rander, and her projected reputation, we should be able to easily conjure up some sort of distraction so we may slip by. Also, being that she is female, a mesh enhanced, uber handsome, smokin' hot little man would do nicely."
Valbrandr, appearing in a poof of smoke- "You rang?"
Taser- "Holy carp!"
Valbrander smiles. Taser drops her sword, awestruck. Kwartz chuckles. Moogie raises an eyebrow, very conspicuously not looking at the dwarf. Lhoran shrugs ruefully. Leonor stares at his empty palm. Finally, the Cyl is still tied to the overhang.
The Cyl, still tied up- "That went well. Shall we be on our way?"
Moogie- "Untie that Cyl. We should take it with us in case we need it again."
Kwartz complies as Taser continues staring openmouthed at Valbrandr, who winks at her. She faints cold.
Lhoran- "Good show, Sir Valbrandr. The Cyl's plan worked perfectly."
The Cyl grumbles to himself as the enlarged cast of characters steps over Taser's limp form and passes into Nooblin City, home of the Cabals, Hopscotch champions four years running.
The Cyl, looking back- "At least we now know she has one weakness."
We are nearing the end now, folks. Only a few more...
Authoritive voice- "Hold!"
Moogie- "Monketh? What are you doing here? Your part ended a long time ago."
Monketh- "Sorry ma'am, I am going to have to confiscate that Cyl."
The Cyl- "What for?"
Monketh- "Violations of the Cyl and/or taller than normal elf accords, section thirty-five, subsection eight, paragraph ten, parts E through G. Unauthorized or illegal use of a Cyl in a Planeshift parody. Specifically, the use of a Cyl for any other purpose than that of climbing, tying, tripping, swinging, jump rope, or any of the other things you would use a Cyl for. Giving it a speaking role, taking its advice, referring to it as 'himself' once, and last but not least, letting it partake in a terrible pun are all clear violations of these edicts. Also, that fact that it no longer smells somewhat like bananas when it is clearly not next Tuesday. That in itself is a violation of seven different codes in the..."
Moogie- "Just take it, okay."
Monketh- "Very well ma'am. Remember, the laws are there to protect you. Have a nice day."
The Cyl- "I hate you."
