LOTR Parody- by mistwalker

[mistwalker]

Sorry about the leangth between stories, but it\'s been a long time since I have read the Lord of the Rings. Next one will be soon, I promise.

[Golbez]

Hey, what happened with the stories?  They were really funny, but why did mistwalker stop writing them?

[mistwalker]

Hello, I have returned from the dead. Many things have happened between the time that I last posted and now.

I would not like to go into detail, but I see that although I have been gone for at least a couple of months, Lenric seems to still have not found the website he claims I copied all this from. I am still a little angry about that. After he insulted me and my integrity, he went on to send me a private message to me claiming that I wanted him as an enemy.

Lenric, if your reading this, f*** you. Heh. I don\'t really care about that any more. I suppose I can\'t stop the foolish from being fools.

I\'m tired. Tired of caring what people think. Tired of caring period. I might write some more stories, but I\'m not sure I have the energy, after what I\'ve been through in the past couple of months.

The air I breathe is stale and unwholesome, and stinks of dreams dreamt and lost. But it is air, and I am breathing...

If you would like me to keep writing this, let me know. If not, I\'ll just go back to sleep for a while.

[Golbez]

Mistwalker,
I believe everyone would just love to read your stories again.  Nevertheless,  if you don\'t feel like writing them, then don\'t do it.  You shouldn\'t care if other people want you to write stories or not,  you should write them only if if makes you feel good.

[mistwalker]

Thanks. Although the reason I write these parodies is that I get a kick out of peoples reations to them, and so far, the reactions have been good, with the exeption of Lenric. Except he didnt actually react to the story, except insofar as to claim that I didn\'t write them. Although it doesen\'t bother me a lot anymore, it would still be nice to have him apologize, because clearly he was wrong.

Well, anyway, I\'m gonna try writing at least one more installment. It will be later today, and on a fresh thread. I\'m gonna have to look over the stories again, and also the two towers, as I can not remember a whole lot from the book.

Well, anyway, if anyone is actually reading this, look for the next storie in a new thread, with a title like \"LOTR parody 2\" or something similar.

[Montenegro]

I got a kick out of the stories.  It sounds like you can infuse new installments with a healthy dose of cynacism to; I\'m looking forward to what you next write.

[Arzosah]

Originally posted by mistwalker
Thanks. Although the reason I write these parodies is that I get a kick out of peoples reations to them, and so far, the reactions have been good, with the exeption of Lenric. Except he didnt actually react to the story, except insofar as to claim that I didn\'t write them. Although it doesen\'t bother me a lot anymore, it would still be nice to have him apologize, because clearly he was wrong.

Well, anyway, I\'m gonna try writing at least one more installment. It will be later today, and on a fresh thread. I\'m gonna have to look over the stories again, and also the two towers, as I can not remember a whole lot from the book.

Well, anyway, if anyone is actually reading this, look for the next storie in a new thread, with a title like \"LOTR parody 2\" or something similar.

Oh my god, this story is hilarious, continue, go on, keep going, may the Balar be with you (the Dilmarillion)

[eruinn]

i cant wait for the next to come out
mixt you should get this published lol
 

[mistwalker]

The new one is up! Check the new thread : LOTR parody: Book two. Hope you enjoy!

[Cyonamie]

New comers probably haven\'t read this hilarious story from when I was actually active....

here is last part not included in here:

The Wristwatch of Doom: Book 7
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Recap: Mistwalker and Sam run off to Boremore, after the tragic but completely obvious death of Boedtotears. The rest of the party has run off to try to find Marie and Flippin, who have been captured by Dorcs, because for some reason Sorehueman told his Dorc\'s to grab the \"Little butt-ugly-hairy-smelly ones\", even though they don\'t have the wristwatch of power...

Streaker: I see something there! Yes, it is a broach off of the cloaks that only fools cannot see!

Lickanass: I don\'t see anythi- I mean, yes, I see it too!

Streaker: They must be this way! And still alive at that!

Gimpy raises an eyebrow.

Gimpy: Wait, have either of you read a story, called, \"The Emporers new Clothes?\"

Streaker: No, but what does that have to do with anything?

Gimpy: Nothing, nothing at all. I see it too.

GrandAlf: It is clearly there. They must be this way. Come, I will lead you into battle!

They journey on for many hours...

Streaker: When you said you would lead us into battle, you didn\'t time that very well, did you?

GrandAlf: Not really, no...

Meanwhile our \"hero\" looks apon Scrotum with distaste, and holds out the wristwatch for him to see.

Mistwalker: Apparently I can make you do anything I want with this damn thing. I think I\'m gonna have you fall down this big hill onto those rocks...

Slam: We can\'t kill him! He could be useful!

Mistwalker: For what?

Slam: Arrow absorbtion?

Mistwalker: Or we could have him get eaten by- I mean \"distract\" that huge spider in the tunnel we for some reason will have to go through, even though there is a shorter and easier and much safer way to get into Boremore, that leads directly to Butte Doom, with signs pointing out that crack, and directions on how to destroy the ring properly in it...

Slam: We can\'t go the easy way, because I heard somewhere from someone completely unreliable who likes to make things up for no obvious reason that there were mosquitos there that carry disease.

Mistwalker: Just heard? I mean, we know that there is a HUGE F***ING SPIDER the other way.

Slam: Can\'t be taking chances...
------------------------------------------------------------------------

have fun, i\'ll see you all in another 3 years

[Cyonamie]

Has anyone heard from mistwalker or is there anyone with a good sense of humor that would be willing to continue the series?

[Cyonamie]

read this if you haven\'t i\'ve probably bumped it before...but c\'mon this thing is classic

[John_Thazer]

Mistwalker: Why don\'t we go south through the gap of Ramen?

Streaker: The inhabitants of the gap are not known to be friendly...

GrandAlf: They are skilled in the art of noodlemaking, and use their skills well in battle...

Mistwalker: No, not again, please dear god no...

GrandAlf: Yes, the Ramen Noodlers. Their intent is not clear. We must go under the mountain!

Damn, this is funny...I mean...really funny...I just ate...agh...all this laughing makes me sick...

[40 pancakes]

Obscenely hilarious...