Interesting topic. I agree with the points Lou made way back when in the OP.
I play two main characters, and a small slew of others. One of my mains is a grinding character. She is a crazy, axe-wielding, Dark Way using nutjob. I RP with her often, and I grind on her a lot. Right now, I play her as having a fairly decent DW skill, while in fact, she's got a pathetic level. I don't have time to train it up along with everything else, but it is entirely IC for her to spend hours training. She doesn't like people. She avoids them, and would rather spend all her time killing things. I do a lot of duelling, and some PvP incidents like muggings and the like. If someone wants to RP a fight, I'm fine with that. If they want to PvP it, I still have a few options. If it's a newbie player, I don't have to use my q300 axes on them. I can fight with blunter axes [not telling them of course] to level things out a bit. I can use crappy armor, or take them on without armor atall. It's all about being able to work game mechanics into RP. And it should never be about winning all the time. I personally find PvP more fun than a dice roll, but honestly, I like RP fighting the best.
I will never forget the first encounter I had with Marsuveus, where it said he was "intelligent as a stone and frail and feeble." Tesh still walked away from that fight with a gaping wound in her side that required half an emu's worth of gauze to patch up. It's all about give and take, and making it fun for everyone.