here is a little some\'n i wrote
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Monacco
Dear journal,
Today I looked death in his face and lived to tell about it. I?ve walked with death, hand in hand and then somehow been able to get away from his grim clasp. You?d never know how it is to walk with death. It?s like knowing beyond a doubt that you?re dead, saying your last prayer, making your peace with god, accepting it; then, miraculously coming back from the grim stupor. I?ve seen all the evil in man concentrated down to one cup of fine wine; I?ve sipped the wine of death and its scary. First it curls up into your insides, seemingly pulling your stomach from you then handing it to the congs. Who consume it. Spite it up and onto the ground where it crawls, leaving a slim trail of bubbling reddish green transparent sludge. The sludge mutates into all things vile and perverted. It stands teen feet tall, 20-30-40- gradually growing massive enough to consume you; It stands over you as if to swallow you whole. Its continence so up close and personal you can feel its sour breathe. Breathing so warm it threatens to melt your face. You stand there unable to move, day-dreaming and another part of you is conscious that for every second you spend transfixed, a bit of your very essence is vanquished and sent to a swirling red void never o be seen again. You spend twenty seconds in hell but on its counterpart you?ve been there for months, years and sadly you realize that you?ve only become conscious of this reality only since you?ve stared the beast in the face and although you live to tell about it, if you can call existence after the beast life. You find your self wandering the open hallways of your own mind and uncover another startling fact: that your existence is more like being a zombie. Your not quite alive, just your body and some animalistic conciousness. You?re nothing more than a unit in a swarm of the living dead. Mind numb, body alert and ever ready to sedate the mind more, if need be. And whenever you do actually happen to swim up from this mindset, all you find yourself thinking is: ?I?m alive, but why??
