Author Topic: The Making of a Wizard  (Read 1382 times)

Phinehas

  • Guest
The Making of a Wizard
« on: July 08, 2005, 02:07:59 pm »
Well, I have decided to follow in Under the Moon\'s and Moogie\'s footsteps and write a longer story about my character. I hope you enjoy it!


Chapter 1.

Phinehas grunted with pain as he poured himself a glass of wine. He was in the small kitchen of the Ashes guildhouse. The building was empty of course, since Tybalt had left and Cyl had never actually made it his home. This suited Phinehas fine, since he could use the extra rooms as libraries and such. Still though, given the choice, he?d definitely choose to have Tybalt back.

With a shake of his head he brought himself back to what he was doing, realizing that his glass was almost full with the dark red fluid. He set the jug down and picked up his glass, gratefully sipping at the liquid. After a few seconds he opened his eyes to gaze down at his arm.

?Even after all these years?? He glanced up suddenly when he realized that he was talking to himself. He shrugged. ?Why not? After all, I?m not exactly the most popular person in Yliakum. If I don?t talk to myself who is there to talk to? Wouldn?t want my tongue to get rusty.? He smiled to himself, but the smile showed more pain and sadness than mirth. He looked back down at his arm.

?Even after all these years, it still hurts to do something so simple as lift a jug of wine. What an existence. What a miserable way to live.? He shrugged again, as if trying to cast away the heaviness of his thoughts. ?Well, another profitable day in the library again. I guess. I still can?t shake the feeling that things are moving slower than they?re supposed to. I wish I had a master?? He stopped talking, his thoughts having reached an area too painful to speak of out loud.

I?m still a boy. I?m still an apprentice. I need a master. I need someone else to teach me. I try. I try harder, perhaps, than any mage in the history of Yiakum. But it?s not enough. Gathering information, when I don?t even know what it is that I?m trying to learn is too difficult. I feel like I?m trying to build a house without having any plans. As if each brick I lay I must painstakingly measure  against all the other bricks already laid to judge whether or not it fits, rather than being able to see beforehand which brick fits where. Progress is like? like me walking on the beach. Almost nonexistent.

Tiring of this line of thought, and knowing that if given too much consideration it could lean to depression, Phinehas decides to change thought tracks. ?Well, I suppose I?d better get ready for bed. Another big day tomorrow.?

Phinehas put the jug away, slowly lifting it up to the cupboard. He closed the cupboard door and turned to view the kitchen with satisfaction. Like the rest of the building, it was a perfect example of organization. Not a single thing was out of place. It was dusty, but that couldn?t be helped. Phinehas was a mage, after all, not a maid. Perhaps it would do to hire a maid, but he didn?t really want anyone else wandering around his domain, messing things up.

Picking up his glass, he slowly made his way out the kitchen and toward the stairs in the main hall, glancing to make sure that the door was securely bolted shut. He smiled, happy with the knowledge that the whole building was warded by a spell he had cast that would wake him up should anyone try to force entry. It wasn?t much, but it would give him the edge he needed to deal with the intruders. He smiled again. It was satisfying to see his endless studies bear some fruit, even if it was in the form of a minor spell.

At the top of the stairs, he trudged down the hall, trying not to notice any of the empty rooms that he passed on the way to his. Each room brought back a memory. Dyari, he?d been like a younger brother to him, always so na?ve and so? nice. Colane, constantly drunk, but faithful and definitely fun to be around. The names went on, Kurik, Tybalt, Sharp, Zeus, Ionas. Each had meant something to him. The few people he could call his friends. Now he would never see them again. It got to him every time he walked this hallway.

He went into his room and closed his door. Slowly he got ready for bed, avoiding the mirror. He had no desire to be reminded of his decrepit state more often than necessary. After a few minutes he was ready, and he crawled into his bed. He closed his eyes, but sleep wouldn?t come immediately. He couldn?t stop thinking of how futile his studies felt. All that time and effort for so few results. Was it even worth it? Was it smart to even think about it? After all, what would become of him if he decided that the studies weren?t worth it? What would he do?

The next thing he knew, he was waking up. That was confusing, and it took him a moment to realize that that meant he must?ve fallen asleep. The next thing he set his mind to was figuring out why he was awake now. For a second he thought that something must have gone wrong, but then he realized it couldn?t have, since whatever woke him definitely wasn?t his warding spell. Nothing could get past that, it was simple, but effective. No one would even know it was there. So it had to be something else, but what?

Then he saw something out of the corner of his eye. It was white, and seemed to move. He turned his head toward it and jerked upright at what he saw. There, calmly watching him, was a man dressed completely in white, his face covered with a white hood. Phinehas opened his mouth to speak, but shut it tight again when he realized that the man was not alone. There were several other men, standing next to each other, but not next to the man in white. Although he couldn?t see their faces, he had a feeling that they were watching him, in the same way he would watch an experiment, as if waiting for something to happen. He counted them. There were five, and each was dressed in a different color robe, each robe was hooded.

Phinehas

  • Guest
(No subject)
« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2005, 02:09:03 pm »
For a split second he thought of attempting to talk to them, but he dismissed the thought almost before it entered his mind. After all, they were intruders, and there was something eerie about the way they stared at him. He didn?t even bother to get out of bed, but immediately brought his hands up, closed his eyes, and began to draw on his inner power. A split second later, purple fire poured from his fingertips, lancing into the men. It touched on each for a few moments, before moving on to the next. After he knew he had hit each one, he lowered his hands and opened his eyes. To his amazement, they were all still there, completely unfazed. They were all nodding, as if in approval, and one or two were smiling slightly.

The white one began to speak, his voice deep and resonant, ?Very impressive, Phinehas Kreal. That was quite a display of power. Raw and uncontrolled, but impressive nonetheless. You will do quite well.? At the last statement, all the heads nodded in unanimous agreement.

Phinehas could not believe his eyes! His face, originally contorted into a mask of anger, changed to show wonderment. He spoke, his voice demanding, confident, and yet tinged with a desire to understand. ?Who are you? How did you get in here without waking me? What do you want??

When the man spoke, you could hear the smile in his voice. ?You are very eager to understand. That is good. You will understand all in due time. For now, I will attempt to answer your questions the best I can. I will start with the second question, if you don?t mind. We got past your warding spell thanks to Ratadan. He sensed your spell before we entered the building, and was able to open a hole in it, so our presences could pass through undetected.?

?As for who we are. We are wizards. All six of us.? Seeing the confusion on Phinehas? face, he smiled. ?Yes, my brother Ren is not easily visible to those who are not looking for him.? Then Phinehas realized that what he thought was a gap between the speaker and the others was actually filled by a man, covered head to foot in a black robe. For a second, Phinehas was given the impression that light ceased to exist when it entered the presence of this black-robed man. He pushed the thought away quickly, as the man in white began to speak again.

?Now is as good a time for introductions as any. I will begin with myself. I am  a master of the Crystal Way. My name is Mer.? With that, the man removed his hood to reveal that he, like Phinehas, was a Lemur. His face was that of an old man, his eyebrows and hair so white that they gave the illusion of shining. Despite that, his eyes were ageless. Phinehas couldn?t decide whether they were old eyes that seemed young, or young eyes that seemed old. They were very kind eyes, indeed, the Lemur?s whole being radiated warmth and light. Phinehas knew was that this man was more than he seemed.

After allowing Phinehas to study him, the Lemur turned to the Darkness beside him. ?This, as I have already mentioned, is my brother Ren. He is a master of the Dark Way.?

The Shadow stepped forward. It did not remove it?s hood, but it did begin to speak. The voice coming from the darkness of the hood was as close to being the opposite of his brother?s as possible. It was low, but slippery and slimy. It grated against the ears, and whispered of dark deeds and evil thoughts. ?Greetings, Young One. You look promising. We shall see. You will forgive me if I don?t remove my hood. I doubt that you are capable of withstanding the experience.? With that, he stepped back in line, all but disappearing as he did so.

The next figure to step forward was dressed in crimson. It was a massive figure, easily towering over the rest of them, the hood almost brushing the ceiling. A hand reached up quickly, almost impatiently, to yank back the hood, revealing the broad features of an Ynnwn. His face looked about middle-aged, and his eyes darted all over Phinehas and the room, as if unable to stop at one thing for too long. He began to speak quickly with short, clipped words, as if unable to get them out fast enough. ?I am Terren, master of the Red Way. I?m sure this will be enjoyable.? Phinehas puzzled at the remark, as the big man stepped back into line.

The one dressed in brown was next to step forward. The man tilted his head back, allowing the hood to slip off. Phinehas saw that he was a Dermorian, not particularly tall or, but not short either. His face looked fresh and young, but one look at his eyes, and Phinehas realized this was not so. He smiled at Phinehas and began to speak, his voice sounding young and eager, yet confident. ?Greetings, brother. It gives me great joy to finally be meeting you face to face. I hope our relationship shall be long and prosperous. I am Breth, master of the forces of nature.? He smiled, ?Yes, that?s the Brown Way, sorry for being cryptic.?

Phinehas was struggling to keep up with what was going on. He just managed to nod when the next man, dressed in blue stepped forward. His movements were slow and deliberate as one robed arm reached up, brushing the hood back from his face. He was a Xacha, his face solemn and withdrawn. He nodded to Phinehas and began to speak. ?As you most likely have already deduced, I am a master of the Blue Way. My name is Llesef. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.?

Phinehas, slowly beginning to catch up with things, managed to nod back at him before the next stepped forward. The man paused while Phinehas examined him. His robes looked blue at first glance, but there was something about them, something that he couldn?t put his finger on?

The man pulled his hood back, revealing the sharp features of an Enkidukai. He looked shrewd and intelligent. His eyes burned into Phinehas and seemed to enter his very eyes. When he spoke, the words were not only in the room, but inside Phinehas? head. ?Hello Phinehas. I am Ratadan. I am master of the Azure Way. We have much in common, you and I. I will enjoy our time together.? The Enkidukai winked at Phinehas, and then quickly stepped back in line.

Phinehas forced himself to shift his gaze back to the white-robed Mer. His surprise and confusion was written all over his face, but he forced himself back under control. His mind searched frantically for something to say, something to give him time to adjust. Then it came to him. ?It is a pleasure to meet you all, but you have yet to answer my third question. What are you doing in my house, in my bedroom, in the middle of the night, without my permission??

Mer smiled, and answered with one, simple sentence. ?We have come to make you our apprentice.?



(Uh-oh. First chapter and I already had to double post. This can\'t be a good sign...)

Under the moon

  • Forum Addict
  • *
  • Posts: 2335
  • Writer extraordinaire.
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2005, 02:01:13 am »
Yes, I finally got to this, Phinehas. You truely have a way with character description. I enjoy reading about Phinehas. Keep it coming.

Phinehas

  • Guest
(No subject)
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2005, 05:47:16 am »
Yeah, so far all my stories have been about Phinehas. That\'s because I don\'t feel sure enough in my writing capabilities to try and concentrate on both the writing, and the developing of characters, so I\'m sticking with Phinehas, who, to one extent or another, is already developed.

Hopefully after this story\'s done I\'ll be good enough to try writing stories about different people, or at least about more than one person.

Zan

  • Veteran
  • *
  • Posts: 1944
  • Just a regular guy, with an irregular soul
    • View Profile
    • Photography
(No subject)
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2005, 10:18:19 am »
Very nice .. I loved it from the start. Though I have to say that I \'m a bit disappointed with how the story progresses. Nothing wrong with the writing but it \'s just that I was hoping Phinehas would be different I guess. I probably got attached to the character as it has recognizable experiences and I wasn\'t really in the mood for another happy end when I read it.  

Aside from me silenty hoping he would remain masterless it \'s a great story though ;)
Zan Drithor, Member of the Vaalnor Council
Tyrnal Relhorn, Captain of the Vaalguard
Thromdir Shoake, Merchant
Giorn Kleaver, Miner.

Grayne Dholm, Follower of Dakkru

Robinmagus

  • Hydlaa Notable
  • *
  • Posts: 883
  • Pixies!!
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2005, 11:55:24 am »
That was very nice Phinehas. I too liked your character description, especially Ren, the master of the dark way.

And dont worry, I\'ll talk with you :D Besides, I need a new room....
Talamir - DeT, Dark Empire, etc, etc, etc.

Phinehas

  • Guest
(No subject)
« Reply #6 on: July 11, 2005, 05:47:30 am »
Quote
Originally posted by Zan
Very nice .. I loved it from the start. Though I have to say that I \'m a bit disappointed with how the story progresses. Nothing wrong with the writing but it \'s just that I was hoping Phinehas would be different I guess. I probably got attached to the character as it has recognizable experiences and I wasn\'t really in the mood for another happy end when I read it.  

Aside from me silenty hoping he would remain masterless it \'s a great story though ;)

Don\'t worry, it\'s not the end of the story.

Phinehas

  • Guest
Chapter 2
« Reply #7 on: July 11, 2005, 07:44:28 am »
Chapter 2.

Phinehas sat in his bed staring at them. At first he was so surprised he was speechless, but that didn't last long.

"You have a lot of nerve, don't you? I am already a great mage, for my years, and certainly don't need the help of six men who are in the habit of breaking into people's houses at night. I honestly don't know what you could teach me." Mer frowned at these words, as did Breth, but he saw Ratadan grin and nod, and was pretty sure he'd heard a low chuckle come from the darkness where Ren was. Phinehas decided to continue. "I understand that you are great mages, more powerful than me, due to your dedication to one Way each. However, I don't tend to get along with great mages for the most part. They tend to be annoying, selfish, arrogant, and petty. You have to understand that I know nothing about you, and so have no way of deciding whether or not I even want to study under you. I know nothing of your skills, or whether..."

Ren had had enough. The dark figure had jumped up onto the end of Phinehas' bed and crouched there, staring at him. All of a sudden one of the robed arms shot out and black, vinelike growth emerged from it. The vine kept coming, slowly winding it's way around Phinehas' body until it had completely covered him. Then it began to contract. It squeezed his body tighter and tighter until he couldn't even breathe. The pain was unimaginable. Even the slightest touch was agony for Phinehas, but this vine pressing into his body all over was unbearable. He clenched his teeth, the pain almost literally driving him mad. All of a sudden, he couldn?t bear it anymore, and he screamed. It was not the shrill, piercing scream of a girl in pain. No, it was the scream of pure, animal rage. Purple fire erupted from his body, knocking Ren, who was not expecting retaliation and had taken his defences down, back towards his friends where he was caught by the towering Terren. Phinehas collapsed back onto his bed, the vine having turned to ash at the intensity of the purple flames.

Mer walked up to him then, and stood over him looking down. "You would like to be able to control that, wouldn't you? I can feel the disgust you have for your own undisciplined magic. We can give you that discipline."

Phinehas lay there, thinking over the possibility. There is something about these men. Something different from the other mages I?ve known. Who would miss me if I went with them? Cyl, perhaps, but he wouldn't think of it for long. What do I stand to lose? My life? No, if they wanted to kill me, they could have done it in my sleep. Well, why not then?

"All right. I'll go with you. Only on the condition that I can leave at any time I wish, should I find your teaching not to my liking." Without even waiting for a reply, which never came anyway, he got up and got dressed. They all waited till he was ready, and when he was, they all turned and left, Phinehas following behind.

When they had all left the building, they paused. Ratadan turned back towards the building and raised both hands to his head, putting his fingers on his temples. After a few seconds he turned and smiled, and nodded that he was ready to go. Phinehas didn't know what he'd done, but he knew that he'd removed the simple warding spell and replaced it with something larger, more powerful. Phinehas could almost see it, like a thin spider-web of magic all over the house.

They began to walk through the streets, led by Ren. It seemed rather strange to Phinehas that seven men dressed in almost identical robes could walk through the Hydlaa completely undetected, but he didn't have much time to consider it, as Ren set a swift pace and it was all he could do to keep up. He had no idea where they were going, but Ren obviously did, and never once did he pause to get his bearings. Eventually they came to a door in the wall, which Phinehas wasn't even aware existed. It was unlocked, and they all slipped through quietly. Little did Phinehas know this was the last he was to be in Hydlaa for two years.

Once outside, they set off again, but this time at a slightly slower pace. No one in particular seemed to be leading, so they obviously all knew where they were going. All, that is, except Phinehas. He did his best to keep up, desperate not to seem feeble in the eyes of the men he was travelling with. After they were a fair ways away from the walls of Hydlaa, the men began talking to each other. Ren and Mer walked together, discussing something that Phinehas couldn't hear. Breth, Terren, and Llesef were talking together as well. They were obviously discussing magic, but to Phinehas' surprise he had no idea of what they were talking about. The concepts they were speaking of were entirely outside his knowledge.

After a few minutes of listening to the others, Phinehas blocked them out and went down into his own mind to think, as was his habit. He was trying to figure out what had gone on this night, trying to comprehend it. It was all so sudden that it almost had no meaning, as if it was a dream. Eventually he decided to let it go, and think about things that were easier to understand, namely, the magic that had been used that night, what he had already seen. He was already wondering how he could duplicate it, trying to figure out how it had been caused, and what forces were behind it.

"That's simple enough, really." Phinehas started. He hadn't even realized that Ratadan was next to him until the other had spoken. "The warding spell I placed on your house was a simple one, but effective. Unlike yours, which was really a waste of energy, this spell doesn't need to seek out someone else and alert them, it simply makes the intruder forget why they were there in the first place. It's really quite effective. A thief walks up to your house, forgets why he's there, feels foolish, and leaves. He's not likely to tell anyone after doing something like that, and so the spell remains undetected. Quite brilliant, really. One of my own creation. And don't look at me like that, your thoughts are as easy to read as if you'd been speaking out loud."

By the time the Azure Crystal began to brighten again, they had reached a set of massive doors set in rock. Although he didn't know where he was at first, it didn't take Phinehas long to realize that this was, indeed the Stone Labyrinths. First of all, the description of them that trickled back to the taverns of Hydlaa was actually quite descriptive. Secondly, he had been in them before, albeit in a different location. He had no doubt that these were indeed the dreaded corridors of the fabled Labyrinths.

While Phinehas stood there, staring up at the doors, he overheard the others discussing the best way to get in. All of a sudden Terren broke away from the group and strode up to within a few feet of the doors and stopped. He rolled up the sleeves of his robe and planted one foot behind him. Then he slowly brought his hands up to his chest, palms facing towards the door and paused, gathering himself. All of a sudden his hands flew forward, and a ball of fire appeared, hurtling towards the doors. It hit them with such force that they were torn off their hinges and thrown backwards into the tunnel behind. Then Terren slowly straightened up, and turned back to them, grinning.

"Well, that solved that problem. Shall we?"

They had headed straight along one of the corridors, once again all of them seeming to know instinctively which way to go. All of a sudden they stopped. So suddenly, in fact, that Phinehas almost bumped into Llesef, who was walking right in front of him. He looked up just in time to see Breth step toward a wall that seemed to be made of solid rock. There was only one small plant with a single leaf growing from a crack in the wall. Breth smiled, and raised his hand toward the plant. He caressed it, as a father would the face of his child, and began whispering to it. After a few seconds he stepped back and lifted his other hand to the plant. With both hands cupped a few inches from the leaf, he closed his eyes and began to hum. Phinehas watched in astonishment as the plant grew before his eyes. The plant did not grow large, but the roots began to grow into the crack in the rock. Slowly, it spread, forcing the rock to open a few more inches. Then the roots began to work in earnest, straining at the rock, forcing the crack open farther and farther, until it was a small fissure. Phinehas watched, fascinated, as, in the course of a few minutes, the plant had pushed the rock far enough aside to allow a man to enter the crack. Then Breth lowered his hands and opened his eyes. He smiled at the plant, as if proud of what it had accomplished. From under his robes Breth pulled something that looked suspiciously like a pruning knife. He began to cut the roots away, bit by bit, throwing them out into the larger cavern, until there was only the small plant left again.

Phinehas, stunned by all that had happened, was even more shocked as Breth, followed by the others, stepped into the crack and disappeared.
« Last Edit: September 19, 2006, 11:02:17 am by Phinehas »

Phinehas

  • Guest
Chapter 3
« Reply #8 on: July 11, 2005, 07:45:15 am »
Chapter 3.

Shaking his head in disbelief, yet determined to keep up, Phinehas stepped into the crack. To his surprise, the fissure went all the way through to what appeared to be another tunnel on the other side of the rock. This one was smaller, and they had to walk in single file. After a few minutes, it had begun to tilt down sharply.

Phinehas was struggling to keep his grip on the smooth, steep floor. It seemed every step he took was harder than the last. He glanced down at the others before him, and took some small measure of pleasure in the knowledge that the others weren't finding it easy, either. Although they weren't exactly falling down, he could see they were using their hands against the sides of the tunnel to hold themselves up. The relief he felt at the realization that it wasn't just hard for him was cut short as he slipped, almost falling. He managed to catch himself with his cane, but decided to concentrate on what he was doing, rather than the fate of his newfound acquaintances.

After what seemed like days, but was probably closer to hours, they reached the bottom. Mer called a halt then. Terren pulled some provisions out of the pack Phinehas hadn't even realized he was carrying, and they ate. Then they set a watch and laid down to sleep. Although they all appeared to be glad to rest, Phinehas couldn't shake the feeling that it was for him that they had stopped. Although he resented being weaker, he decided it would be stupid to make a fuss over it when he was tired, after all.

They got up the next morning, or at least Phinehas assumed it was morning. It was hard to tell since they were completely surrounded by rock. After eating again, they set off once more. As they were walking, it came to Phinehas' attention that, if they were truly surrounded by rock, then it should be pitch black. He was trying to figure out why it wasn't, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of water.

They had reached a lake. Well, not exactly a lake, since Phinehas couldn't see the end. He was trying to figure out where they were, when he realized that everyone else was walking into the water. He began to follow them uncertainly, as water had never been something he particularly enjoyed. To his surprise, he saw that as soon as he got to be about waist deep, a bubble began forming around him. He looked ahead and saw that all the rest were in one large bubble, their heads just barely visible above the water.

He hurried to catch up to them, and when he did, his bubble joined with the large one, and he could see that the bubble was created by Llesef. The Xacha was at the front of the bubble, and was obviously concentrating on what he was doing. Phinehas looked around and noticed that the sides of the bubble had become hard, and yet were still clear. It was like being in some sort of underwater ship. Llesef was propelling them forward through the use of his magic, and all they had to do was to sit back and relax. Phinehas found this hard to do, since it was rather disconcerting to be in a place where there was nothing visible between him and the water on all sides. Eventually though, he relaxed and sat down.

Phinehas didn't know how long they had travelled in this strange bubble of magic, but he was glad when they reached the end. The trip hadn't entirely agreed with him, more so because he felt his way of return being cut off. He felt them stop moving but still all he could see on all sides was water. All of a sudden, Terren, who, by the look on his face, had been even more uncomfortable than Phinehas on this trip, hurriedly stepped through the side of the bubble. Phinehas was about to ask what had happened to him, when, one by one, the others also stepped through the exact same place Terren had. Eventully, all that was left was him and the Xacha, Llesef.

The Xacha smiled at his confusion and motioned to the side of the bubble. "Go ahead and step through. I have to be the last out, or the bubble will dissolve. It's my magic that's holding it up."

Phinehas nodded and slowly stepped through the side of the bubble. He braced himself for the feeling of weightlessness and the cold of the water, but to his surprise his foot met with solid rock. He realized that he wasn?t soaked with water either, and decided to open his eyes. When he did so, he saw that he was in a narrow tunnel, and that all of the mages, including Llesef, who just stepped up behind him, were there as well. He spun around to see what was behind him, and saw a wall of water. It was just there at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel ended in water, but none of the water came into the tunnel. It didn't take long to for Phinehas to realize that this too, was Llesef's work, and he begun to think that maybe he'd made the right choice in coming after all.

As he was staring at the wall, he realized that the others had gone ahead. He turned and hurried to catch up with them. After walking for a few minutes, the tunnel began to widen until it opened up so far that Phinehas couldn't see the walls to his right or left any more. At about that same time, Mer halted the group. He turned to Phinehas and smiled a strange smile.

"You are the only person who has ever seen this other than the six of us." He slowly raised his hands as the place filled with light. "Welcome to the 9th level of Yliakum."
« Last Edit: September 19, 2006, 10:54:15 am by Phinehas »

Phinehas

  • Guest
(No subject)
« Reply #9 on: July 11, 2005, 07:49:36 am »
You may find that these last two chapters were a bit dry. Personally, I found them so. It was originally meant to be one chapter about how he got to where he was now, but it ended up being too long. I found it rather frustrating to write, actually, as I find it hard to write about a large group, and easier to write about one or two. I also had little patience with these chapters, becasue I was too excited about getting to what\'s next. Please understand that the three chapters just written are, for me at least, only the prelude to the story that\'s coming. Phinehas\' apprenticeship. Woo-hoo! Magic!

Valbrandr

  • Hydlaa Notable
  • *
  • Posts: 935
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2005, 10:11:49 pm »
I didnt think that the last two chapters were dry at all.  You are just trying to explain alot and you had a lot of characters to develop.  Im just waiting to see where your story is going and how you get there :).

Robinmagus

  • Hydlaa Notable
  • *
  • Posts: 883
  • Pixies!!
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2005, 11:13:35 pm »
0.0 I love your writing Phinehas. You may not think it, but your descriptions are extremely clear. And I also just like the way you think :) The 9th level..thats wonderful!


/me wants to be an apprentice too :P

EDIT: Though..only thing is...I couldn\'t Imagine Phinehas with a master..especially not 6 :P
« Last Edit: July 11, 2005, 11:14:34 pm by Robinmagus »
Talamir - DeT, Dark Empire, etc, etc, etc.

Phinehas

  • Guest
(No subject)
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2005, 03:46:13 am »
Quote
Originally posted by Robinmagus
EDIT: Though..only thing is...I couldn\'t Imagine Phinehas with a master..especially not 6 :P

That\'s the whole point isn\'t it? Any one master would have his hands more than full with Phinehas.

Anyway, I\'m really glad you guys are liking it. REALLY glad. It\'s a relief, especially since I found the last chapter rather frustrating to write.

CadRipper

  • Hydlaa Citizen
  • *
  • Posts: 486
  • merry troublemaker
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #13 on: July 21, 2005, 04:30:22 am »
I finally found some time to read the last part, and really enjoyed the whole of it so far! It\'s original, well-written and balanced, bravo! :)

Even if you fear some people will find it slow, you shouldn\'t worry about being descriptive at the beginning, as long as you have enough patience to keep it under control - interesting, purposeful and tidy. It gives more depth to the story and will pay off later.