I\'m going to be posting a few short stories here about Phinehas. Don\'t worry, I will be continuing my longer tale, these are just short stories. So now, without further delay, I present the first of the stories:
A Tax Collector\'s Mistake
Dher was an unusual fellow. Not in looks, for he was really your average Dermorian, perhaps slightly heavier than most, but not exactly fat either. All in all he didn\'t exactly stick out in a crowd. His job wasn\'t even particularly unusual, he was a tax collector.
What made him unusual was that he loved his job. He wasn\'t exactly cruel, but he couldn\'t help but enjoy the power of making other people give him their money. He wasn\'t exactly a favorite back at the barracks, either. Most of the guards weren\'t particularly pleased when it was their turn act as his bodyguard. They hated the idea of empowering him, but could do little else as long as he didn\'t do anything particularly outrageous. He was careful, he loved his job and had no desire to lose it, so the guard just had to put up with him.
On this particular day, Dher and his bodyguard, two very reluctant Ylians, were collecting taxes on one of the many back streets of Hydlaa. They had been through a couple houses without any trouble, and Dher decided to visit two more before heading to a local tavern for lunch.
The next house in the street was a moderate sized building, too big to be a private house, but too small to be anything else. It wasn\'t particularly dilapidated, but it did look as if it had seen better times. If it hadn\'t been for the faded drawing of what looked like a hand on a sign above the door, Dher would have thought it was tenant housing. As it was, he had no idea.
He approached the door and knocked loudly, already thinking about the lunch he\'d enjoy so much more for the knowledge that these poor fools he took money from were paying for it.
After a few moments there was no sound or indeed any sign of life whatsoever, so he knocked again, even louder. After waiting for a few more seconds he was about to leave when he heard a voice say almost inaudibly, \"Hold on, I\'ll be there in a second.\" The strange thing was, he could have sworn he had heard the voice not as if spoken from far away, but as if whispered in his ear. As he was thinking about that, he heard the sound of shuffling feet and the tap-tap of a cane from the other side of the door.
When the door finally swung open, Dher saw before him a little Lemur who was obviously rather crippled and looked to be in the waning of his lifespan. The little man was dressed in purple robes and smiled slightly when he saw who was at his door. This rather took Dher aback since he was used to an expression of discouragement, fear, or even hatred when people first saw the insignia on his arm.
Throwing his shoulders back and trying to act imposing, Dher looked down on the little Lemur and said, \"I am here by order of the new Octarch to collect the new medical tax. This tax is to support the various communal hospitals that are being installed in each of the neighborhoods of Hydlaa. Name, please.\"
The Lemur smiled again and said, \"Phinehas. My name is Phinehas.\"
Dher glared down at the frail little man, for he had the feeling he was being toyed with. He wasn\'t used to this feeling, and didn\'t like it one bit. \"Full name, please. Don\'t be smart.\"
Phinehas raised an eyebrow up at him and an amused smile spread across his face. \"You haven\'t heard of me, have you? My name is Phinehas Kreal.\"
Dher decided to bring this conversation to an end as he had the feeling that the two guards were enjoying this immensely. In his most pompous voice he pronounced, \"The tax for you is 40 tria, to be paid immediately.\"
Phinehas stared back at him calmly. \"No it isn\'t. You see, I\'m exempt.\"
\"You can\'t be exempt, the new Octarch was particular in her orders, everyone is to pay this tax.\"
\"In that case she must have forgotten. I\'m exempt.\"
Dher could not believe this little runt\'s audacity. \"You cannot be exempt. This building is in Hydlaa. Hydlaa is under the Octarch\'s rule. Therefore, you must pay this tax.\"
Phinehas was smiling again, obviously enjoying himself immensely. \"Ah no, you see. Although Hydlaa may be under the Octarch\'s rule, this building isn\'t. I bow to no government, and particularly not to the present Octarch. I suggest you go now before this turns bad. You\'re beginning to sound rather like a donkey who thinks he\'s a charger. Leave now please.\"
Dher began to turn red in the face, and even the guards behind him didn\'t like the attitude the little man was taking. He decided to try one more time. \"You WILL pay the tax, or I\'ll ask these two gentlemen to...\" He paused as Phinehas flicked his hand towards him, but then continued. \"As I was saying, I\'ll ask these two gentleme...ee-ah ee-ah.\"
The little scene went deathly silent. Phinehas\' shoulders were moving up and down as they tend to do when one is laughing about something on the inside. The guards, in the meantime, had frozen in confusion, not sure as to why Dher had started braying like a donkey. Dher himself was rather upset and tried to speak again, but all that came out was \"Ee-ah ee-ah\".
Phinehas turned to the still rather bewildered guards and said, \"You should take him back now. In a few days he\'ll be as good as new. In the meantime, his voice will reflect his attitude.\" With that, he turned and shut the door, leaving the guards to take a very silent Dher back to the barracks.
During the next few days the guards had a good laugh at Dher\'s expense. Dher himself kept quiet during that time and was never quite so unbearable afterwards. Word travels fast in Hydlaa, and for some inexplicable reason, the old Ashes guildhouse was never visited by another tax collector...
