PlaneShift
Fan Area => Roleplaying (Communitive Storywriting) => Collaborative Stories => Topic started by: ParaSite on December 08, 2002, 11:58:47 pm
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On a sunny day (actually it was raining), Talad and Gronomist walked (actually they drove a Mercedes-Benz E-Class) over the planet. With their Holy Rune being stolen by some spacepork, they were desperately trying to find a way to take over the planet.
But suddenly (!) the sky turned black and all became dark! This lasted for 5 minutes. Then, when the light broke through again, Gronomist was gone!
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Talad continued on in search of his lost rune. All of a sudden Talad heard a giant bang. Seeing that the front end of Talads Mercedes was mangled, he decided to investigate. He slowly approched the front of the car to see a kitten. Talad was stunned that a kitten had survived such a crash, but being a gentleman he picked it up only to have the cat give him several large blows about the head. Talad would not stand for this, he walked to his car and picked out the biggest weapon he could find in his trunk, which just so happened to be his trusty exavior (sawn-off shotgun). Talad blasted the cat to pieces only to be approched by a little girl who asked him \"hello sir, have you seen my cat\".
the kitten (http://pantransit.reptiles.org/images/1998-08-24/kitten.jpg)
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The girl went shocked when he notice her cat was..dead.
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-91-03.jpg)
\"What did u do...u monster!\"
\"Be sure that now I will call a very big monster to...to destroy u!!\"
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-148-05.jpg)
THE SUPREME MUSCULATOR
Fear his muscles.
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Musculator vs Talad
Talad HP: 50
Musculator HP: 180
Initiative d20:
Talad rolls 15 + 2 = 17
Musculator rools 16 - 7 = 9
Talad wins
Round 1
Talad hits Musculator
1d8 * 10 = 60 points of damage
Musculator attacks Talad
1d20 = 1 Critical miss
Musculator trips
Round 2
Talad attacks Musculator with his breath weapon
Musculator is poisoned
Talad turns the dead kitten into an undead kitten and sends it at Musculator
Undead Kitten? Rips Musculator apart for 19000 points of damage
(http://argnet.fatal-design.com/gfx/photos/nature/cat/cat-foot-attack.jpg)
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Suddenly the undead kitten begins to approach Talad. Talad knew it wanted revenge so he did the only thing he knew how. Talad quickly made up a new MMORPG and made the cat wait for ages until the next update. Luckily, the cat died of waiting, as did many of the players. Talad then held the cat high in the air by its tail.
(http://members.ozemail.com.au/~mickay/dead-cat.jpg)
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Meanwhile, in Magnifika\'s social party, where now dwells Gronomist...
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-147-06.jpg)
MAGNIFIKA:
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-219-05.jpg)
Berrhold. Thre tirme hassr come!! We here, frrom the DIMENSION OF FAILURE have decided to strike!
Know I\'ve captured GRONOMIST, one of the SERVANTS OF THE EVIL.
We just discovered that they are also HURRRRTRING CATS AND SOME OTHRER ANIMALRS. A RRHUNT TO PREVENT THAT MUST BE MADE!!
Whitewolf , the Lone Wolf:
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-219-06.jpg)
\"Miss Magnifika, I have a sugestion. Let us throw animals against them! Let us mess up with this so-so-called god \"Talad\"!!\"
Magnifika: OPEN THE DOORS FROM THE DIMENSION OF FAILURE! MAY THE CAT OF DARKNESS + 6 STRIKE!!
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-144-01.jpg)
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Gronomist was converted to \'The Failure Adept\', equipped with a vorpal quaterstaff +2 and a Robe of unintelligence -15. But since the robe +her normal intelligence became so ridiculously low, the spell broke and Gronomist was herself once again! From the shock she accidentally hit a candle. The candle feel onto Magnifica\'s Mansion\'s carpet.
(http://home.planet.nl/~faase009/BrandDekker.jpg)
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Meanwhile Talad was busy dancing around with the dead cat carcas (a hobbie that talad found quite fun) when he was approched by the Cat Of Darkness +6.
Talad was quick to swing the dead cat around his head but was dissapointed when its tail broke off and the dead cat went flying into a nearby tree.
The Cat Of Darkness +6 began to run at Talad.
All of a sudden Talad remembered the pictures in his pocket that he had taken with his own cat earlier that day. Talad threw the photos to the ground to which the Cat Of Darkness stopped in its tracks. Realising Talads great cat fetish, the Cat Of Darkness ran away, leaving trails of sick.
Many of Talads baby pictures shown proof of an early fetish with cats.
(http://www.cwi.nl/~steven/julian/choclet/cat.jpg)
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But the cat found himself in a so deep despair that, after running, he opened himself a gate to the Dimension of Failure.
Talad entered too.
As soon as he did enter, he met the GUARDIAN TROLL.
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-171-04.jpg)
BEHOLD GOD. I AM THE GUARDIAN TROLL. I DEFEND THE DIMENSION OF FAILURE.
There came then the arch-god Teamguardus.
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-171-01.jpg)
\"Hello!\"
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Talad took his defencive stance. But just as the troll was about to charge, a uqaterstaff hit him on the head from out of nowhere. It was Grono!
\"Phew, I got him! hey sweety, it\'s meh!\"
Talad was happy to reunite with grono. They both reentered the portal to make an end to The Plane itself.
(http://www.city-net.com/~tpq/Gateway.JPG)
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But just before leaving the portal....
....they met something they would never want to see again....
Impetuous....
Stronger than ever...
Their biggest nightmare.
The weirdest two extra-dimensional forces merged into one.
ARMORED DEFENDER SUPER-DIMENSIONAL BATTLE-TCD/LINK
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-235/image-04.jpg)
X(
Talad: Oh NO!
Gronomist: Oh no!
Talad: This battle will be extra-hard. Gronny...We need to merge.
Gronny: Key! hihihhi
THE FUSION BEGINS
-BWAARGH.....ALIVE...I AM ALIVE....
-I AM....
GRONALAD
(http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/page-167-06.jpg)
-FEAR MY STRANGE POWERS...Woo!
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Gronalad used his/her new powers to open a portal, releasing a conga line of tranvestites that then began to circle the Armoured Defender. The Armoured Defender became confused, he couldnt tell if they were men or women so he used his laser beam eyes burn each one to the ground. Gronalad was stunned he/she had to think of something fast, so he did the best thing cross-dressers do best, he dropped the soap.
Gronalad: can you get that?
Just as the Armoured defender bent down to get the soap Gronalad made his move and after 5 minutes the Armoured defender was reduced to a crying mass in the corner. Gronalad left through the portal, only to be confronted with tons of food. Gronalad could not help himself, within minutes all the food was gone and Gronalad had grown to a giant size, so big that his clothes all ripped off leaving him bare in a room on his own. All of a sudden Gronalad heard a rumble. He thougt nothing of it but then the walls changed color and he found himself atop of the tracks for a rollercoaster ride. He peered around him to find that he was being chased by a rollercoaster carrying nothing but food.
The dimension of failure had finally found Gronalads weakness.....Food.
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(http://www.slowart.com/slow/fatties/fat-blk.jpg)
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Gronalad ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and tripped and stood back up and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran....
Until Talad and Gronomist were forced into two beings again. The fusion was over. But now they found themselves in the Plane of Failure. Now what?
\"Let\'s eat!\"
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Heh... will the mayhem never end?... hope not
although the gratuitos Cat jokes and cruelty doesnt sit well with some people, coughs... me being one.