PlaneShift
Fan Area => The Hydlaa Plaza => Topic started by: Gyerfry Stoemsaber on November 10, 2006, 01:41:27 am
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Ok, so a few weeks ago, this bully was talking his head off during art. Everyone was being quiet. I asked my friends, "Should I tell them to be quiet?" And thei like, "Yes please!" So I say to ther bully, "Be quiet please, we're working here." Suddenly he starts throwing lame disses like, "You're so ugly when you went to he grudge's house the grudge ran away from fear." I was drawing a nice couger, didn't look to good cause all we had to wrk with was cuetips and paint. So he starts insulting the couger "That couger looks like a dog! Atleast I don't draw cougers that look like dogs!" Me: "And you can do better?" Him: "I don't feel like drawing right now." Right. Well he keep throwing disses till he upsets me. I do acually start crying at one point. before that though, I went to tell. "Tattletale!" He called. Me: "It's not tattling when you're verbally harrassing me." Well after i start crying my friends goes to tell on him. Poof, he's gone to the office. One more strike and he's out. He's being suspended alot these days. He even got his butt handed to him by this bully-like guy (You'd think he's a bully but he doesn't pick on people) Well the bully got so mad he took his own CD player and smashed into the ground. Poof. Suspened for starting fights. In conclusion: Bullies need to find better hobbies or be hit with a shovel.
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Eh, possibly.
A lot of the time they bully people because they feel they are inadequate.
I'm good at finding out what they're problem is and shoving it in their face, so I'm left alone. It's a good skill and has earned me many friends.
Of course...I guess you could also be compasionate and sympathetic...but where is the fun in that?
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I'm not as old as most of you, and non-constructive critisism and flames have always upset me like, alot. Ignoring never works for me, cause I usually break down in the middle of trying.
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I wish I could understand better, I've always had a high tolerance for this kind of thing.
It's a fact of life that bullies will always be around, not much you can do about it.
Just remember you are better than them :)
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Right now I'm trying to find out what his problem is.... He has HORRIBLE grades but I'm guessing he doesn't care. He has an Xbox.... Um..... I don't really know much about him. Whenever anyone dissaggrees with him, he starts a fight.
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He wants attention. Negative of positive, it doesn't really matter. But don't listen to me, just got suspended from school today for fighting. Though I'd like to think that it was "self-defence"
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Play more, Robin, I want to call you Talad :P
And that's the gist of it, that's why ignoring them has such a good effect a lot of the time.
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Acually, everyone in class knows I can't take it for long, which is true, so he doesn't shut up, and sometimes theres little giggles at what he says, which encourages him.
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Then file for verbal harassment if he's keeping it up. Before though, confront him, and make the verbal harassment report a serious possibility in his mind. If he keeps it up, I guess you'll be giving him his last strike.
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*Matt enters with a very small, robed man holding a cane sitting on his shoulder.*
Well then I think you need to work on you, not him. It's not your job to be responsible for his behaviour, you're responsible for yours. I'm not saying that you should let everyone walk all over you and never do anything about it because you're "not responsible for their behaviour", I'm saying you should concentrate less on what you can do to make him back off, and concentrate more on why it bothers you so much. I never had a problem with bullies because they knew I didn't give a proverbial rat's behind for their bullying. I never got in a fight, not because I'm chicken, because I never had to. I was never bothered. It's in your attitude. They didn't not bother me because I'm a "kung-fu fighter" or anything like that. I'm a geek and never hid it, but they knew that I was in control and they couldn't intimidate me. I'm not saying all this to puff myself up, although that's admittedly a pleasant side effect. I'm saying it to point out that you should work on yourself and the way it affects you rather than trying to make him stop. Even once he's out of your life, you're going to have negative influence and bad situations, it's a part of life, and you're not going to be able to "tell" on everyone and everything to make it go away.
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Damn Dr. Phil good going. I agree!
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Happened to me a bit in high school, once in art class actually :P Pinning them to a wall by their throat usually makes it stop (although that gets you in trouble too). I'd leave violence as the last solution though.... How supportive are teachers about this kind of thing? What would the reaction be if you told a teacher that you're going to throw a chair at his head if someone doesn't stop him (I'm serious)? You've got to do something. Unless you can do what Phinehas said and make yourself able to ignore him, then it's not going to stop unless you take some other kind of action.
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I try to ignore him. Lately I haven't been getting into any fights with him. He picks on people that say or do something he doesn't like. So he won't bother him untill I ask him to be quiet or disaggree with him on something. My friends are now discouraging me to tell him to be quiet, but just cause he isn't picking on me doesn't meen the problem is solved. I know a few karate moves, but sure aren't going to use um' any time soon. I'v come a pretty long way since two years ago, when I got mad/upset at anything. I'll probobly not care a bit by next year, because I do understand their doing this to feal big and make others feel weak. One of my friends(one of the strongest people in school and the tallest guy in school) even called him a wimp. I'm kind of I wimp too, since even though I'v got skill, I'm always afraid to fight. I blaim teachers for that xD. If I wasn't so discouraged about that type of thing, I'd punch him in the face. I always perfer not to do things that get me in trouble. I am a geek, a techno geek in fact. I don't really mind, some people even envy me. Basicly bullies at my school don't use that kind of thing. They just use lame disses. I just belive they follow the code of C.O.O.L.(Constaped Overrated Out-of-style Loser.) If I ever hear someone call themselves cool, I'll laugh in their faces.
EDIT: Also, according to the teacher, if he bothers me one more time, he's in trouble. Big trouble.
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Damn Dr. Phil good going. I agree!
That's Dr. Phin, to you. Or, in this case, Dr. Matt.
Me=amateur psychologist. :P
Also. Gyerfry, without being condescending it sounds to me from your last post that you're not so much dealing with the bully as who you are as a person and how you act and react, etc. etc. This is all fine, and it shouldn't bother you, since everyone goes through that sort of thing. Just try not to do anything stupid till you've got it all figured out. ;)
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Um, K. But I still wanna hit him with a shovel xD.
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I'm not sure you do, he may have permanent disabilities if you do, and it will definitely destroy his facial features. Are you ready to handle that responsibility? Are you willing to go through life knowing that you've made his life hell? Are you willing to wake up every day and picture in your mind the life he must be living due to your wanton act of cruelty?
Use a baseball bat, at least you'll put him out of his misery... :P
(Had you going there, didn't I?)
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(Had you going there, didn't I?)
A post in reply was already forming in my mind...kinda sad I won't get to post it...but otherwise, well done.
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I don't think this is a situation that calls for a shovel. You don't have to ignore them, but you have to learn how to not give a reaction. That's often all these people are after.
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They're looking for attention. ANY attention. Call them on this and people of this sort will often explode.
When they do, authority busts 'em down a bit.
ie: "I know you're just trying to get attention by bothering me."
If you want, you can add a taunt on the end, like "...due to your insecurity." or "...you must be awfully desperate." or mild somesuch. Be sure to deliver the line in a dead serious manner. I recommend against taunting, though, as bullies are generally better at it, will get you emotionally involved, and then pissed off. When you get pissed off, they win. Just like the internet.
The best (and most egotistical! :) ) way to avoid becoming angry is simply thinking "He's not important enough for my attention." It's like having an /ignore list.
Make sure the bully understands that you don't care about his self-serving "rules" against "telling." Your masculinity and pride are not at stake. "Telling" means you are clever enough to use the system to your advantage, and courageous enough to admit when you can't fight. Authority figures don't like malcontents.
I've pretty much gotten over taunting back, as I can best most my age in logical debate, but not in base stuff.
"Dude, [insult]"
"Right. Good for you."
"You [insult]."
"Your opinion is of no relevance to me."
"[insult]"
"Of course." ("Sure." "Very mature of you." "Totally proves your point," etc.)
[Dude leaves.]
Edit: Pity works sometimes too.
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Until you have fought someone a couple of times: DO NOT use objects. You might spaz in the middle of the fight and end up with a very serious criminal charge on your record. Since you can install PS and play it, I would guess that you are smarter than the guy. You CAN find a better way to neutralize the situation, preferably one that embarrasses the hell out of the twit. Of course, there is the reality that if you back down from any encounter like this you become a mark and the rest of the pack will come for you, so do what is in your best interests in any case. But be cool about it, such things are best served cold.
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Well, problem people like that usually stem from problems they have at home or from early childhood. Be they of lack of attention from parents or siblings or an abuse environment. Thing is the have not learned to deal with whatever problem it is. It is most the time embarrassing to such individuals. So they lash out because it's the only thing that temporarily makes the situation better. Although they seem to forget to think of the repercussions of their actions or worse yet they do not care. Perhaps you might consider talking to your guidance councilor if there is one in your school about this guy. Maybe have him help him.
One thing might be as you say he has bad grades, a sign of a possible learning disability, or not being challenged enough with his work in school. I would tend to say that it comes from problems at home as most do. Know thy enemy if he is that to you. Then and only then if you wish to help can a resolution be come to. Because if not now the next person {bully} you meet down the road will do the same thing or something similar or worse. Good luck in your endeavors to overcome this ordeal of growth.
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Ive always responded to that stuff by ignoring, or by trying to sympathize with him...its hard but im a compassionate creature, like to see where the other person is coming from...maybe they are lonely? maybe their home situation isnt good and thats how they learned to get attention?
*me shrugs* hmmm i dunos :/
i ahve a bad temper myself :P as im sure some of you lukcy ones might ahve seen...
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well really what you should have done well ok maybe not should have done but what seems best to be is lean over to him real close
and ask him exactly how much better his day will be if you dont have to jam an ink pen in his eye
bullies arent lookin for attention n they dont feel bad about themselvs. they just dont like certain people or they think it will be easyer to pick on a select group and well thats how the world works the buisness world. and the world of bullies. they are the same just do a corporate takeover.
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Guys, I was kidding about the shovel. And he is suspended, wich is why everyone can work in peace now. His mum is nice, I'v met her. I'm guessing it's because his parents pay no mind to it, and don't care. I did try "You're just picking on me to feel big cause you aren't happy with your life." Him: "I have an Xbox, you don't. My life is way better then yours." Yeah, who says? I could kick his sorry butt in stretegy games. And I'm one of the smartest people in the school. I even know more about computers then the teacher.
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Which ones the keyboard? ::|
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Lol, the thing you type with.
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Ok... what Capprion said is definitely not sound advice.
i ahve a bad temper myself :P as im sure some of you lukcy ones might ahve seen...
[dripping sarcasm]Whaaat?!? I hadn't noticed! Could it be?[/ds]
Gyerfry, your last post emphasized in my mind the fact that what you're really dealing with here is not him, but you. You're trying to figure out who you are and how you're meant to respond to life. This bully thing is just one of the more blatantly necessary areas to think through at the moment.
I should stop the whole psycho-analazying thing. I'm scaring people. At least me, and the man on my shoulder. We're people, too.
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The best way to deal with bullys... is to show them that they massivly underestimated the force they are dealing with :D
Seriously... Say someone says your ugly, you dont ignore them, turn around and look at em then pick out there faults... You can imbelish a bit (webbed feet is a good one) and round off the insult by pointing out there mental insecurity as the reason they feel the need to bully others. 9/10 times they dont even expect you to do something like that and shuts them up. Works even better when there are more people around =)
but hey... thats my way to deal with people make your own way up >:|
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wait... Xordan didn't throw that chair at his head?
>_>
<_<
I did... managed to throw a table once too.
kinda left me alone after that
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you're kidding.
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I am no longer availiable for being upset verbally by anyone apart from the people I like or love.
An insult to me gets one of the two following answers:
A swift "F**k off"
Or simply a blank stare of "i;m really not impressed"
This is because i dont care. Whoever this person insulting me is can continue doing so as they are meaningless. If were too die tommorrow i wouldnt care. if they were too repeat the sentances again tommorrow I would not care.
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you're kidding.
me?
nope
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wait... Xordan didn't throw that chair at his head?
>_>
<_<
I did... managed to throw a table once too.
kinda left me alone after that
This works fine for me as well.
If they bully you why not bully back?
It makes them think twice before they do it again. :devil:
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Booo, Physical violence is boring.
The whole slowly picking your enemy apart with words that will stick with him until he grows old is much more fun.
And effective :D
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or a chair leg embedded in his face, not like he'll forget that every time he looks in the mirror
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Booo, Physical violence is boring.
The whole slowly picking your enemy apart with words that will stick with him until he grows old is much more fun.
And effective :D
Naturally one does that first :D but if they have the intellect of a brick then fists talk a bit more clearly to them. :P
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Booo, Physical violence is boring.
The whole slowly picking your enemy apart with words that will stick with him until he grows old is much more fun.
And effective :D
Doesn't really work so well if they're too stupid or stubborn to listen to a word you say, however well picked.. Loud enough to shout over you every time you open your mouth, and then receive the support of everyone else for doing it. Bah.
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You people have too much anger. You should pity your enemy, but never hate him.
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violence for violence / Words for words
eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth
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eye for an eye
Leaves the whole world blind.
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Does it? I would have thought that putting eyes out was illegal these days..
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if you get caught :]
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from gyefrys last post, it seems that he is actually pretty small and scared, but puts up an illusionary safety by insulting people. And goes into fight to feel better than the one he goes into fight with... or disses. Nurahk... um your conclusion too?
And next time he says things about his xbox go like "Yeah you got an xbox, is taht all you've got? I actually have a bed, if you use your xbox as a bed it surprises me it haven't broken yet because you're so fat" if you want to go on his intelligence "You never said you had a television, what good is an xbox if you don't have a television... idiot" yeah... I can be evil.
good to stop before you pick up a chair and start breaking his feet and arms with it xD.
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I had a speach inpediment when i was young, wich made me a great target for bullies. I was kicked out of school many times for fighting, as it was my only recourse at the time. Any attempts at a verbale retaliation was stopped dead with more laughter and insults. Once i had overcome my speach problems, I had a big chip on my shoulder and became a bully myself. My targets were not the weak or geeks, they were the jocks and the biggest and strongest around. looking back it was very stupid and very funny, a little guy picking on kids 3-5 years older and much larger.
A new student came to my school who had a speach problem and I became his first friend in the school, however it didnt take long before i saw he was a bully, picking on younger and weaker kids. We ended up fighting, and it was one of the funniest memmories I have of childhood. He was an experienced fighter with a brown belt in one of the martial arts ( I forget which one), so it didnt take him long to have me down and sitting on my chest. He started to rain down punches to my face, and all i could do was laugh, I said 'is that supposed to hurt' and couldnt stop laughing. There was a lot of kids watching, and they started to laugh when they heard what I said, even one of the teachers started to laugh as she watched. The bully started to cry and ran home, he didnt come to school for days. when he finaly did return, I greated him with a hand shake and said ' We arnt gonna have any more problems are we?' He said no and he didnt pick on anyone after that, and I made sure no one picked on him because of me laughing at him. After that the only fights i had in school were with bullies, and it didnt take long before all the bullying stopped at my school. The school became a much friendlier place, grades picked up across the board, and everyone helped anyone they could. We only had 150 students, but it amazing how well we all worked together.
It is interesting how things are the same all over the world, kids are kids and there is always going to be someone there trying to make themself feel better at the expence of others.