PlaneShift
Fan Area => Roleplaying (Communitive Storywriting) => Single Author Stories => Topic started by: Garris Shrike on February 07, 2007, 06:00:56 pm
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At first when I read the shortened title back on the main page, I was thinking this was gonna say "The first 9 lives of Garfield."
Anyway, good story. :)
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(23 years later, Ojaveda, Th' Broken Door)
"Sooo.....Am I done with my training?" Garris asked, downing a pint.
"Yep. You're done. I just have one thing to tell you" The asassin said.
"Wazzat?" Garris asked.
"Your father was part of a secret guild known as the Vespers of Laanx, who stole the Dragon Horn Amulet to gain power over Duraza and the Death Realm. As you can tell, it didn't quite work." The asassin said quietly.
"Ah..............." Garris said, soaking in the information.
"I'll kill that freak Duraza, and finish the power of the Death Realm for once and for all" He yelled, and burst from the tavern into the open air of Ojaveda, to gain his reputation and finish off his mother's killer.
To be continued..........
[Read more at: http://hdo.xordan.com/index.htm, at the forums, under stories]
i think this part in your story was either rushed, you didnt like to write it, or you couldnt think of anything else but i feel its missing something.. it sais 23 years later, he finished his training and found out about a key of the story in like 10 or less sentances.
The rest of the story is well done accept this part. maybe add a bit more, maybe a reply from Garris or add a long reaction?
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[Oh, and yes, the Invisble Ulbers were a sort of training for the massive one]
:oops:
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its a great story, not much i can say other than :thumbup: \\o//
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[thanks everyone! Here is a picture of our hero, Garris, drawn by the exceptionally talented Xythe http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/7563/garrisfs4.jpg
The Next bit is coming soon!
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Great story i especialy enjoyed the fight against the dragon although i think it was a bit to easy for Garris i mean taking a full grown dragon down in one blow...Or maybe it was not full grown but just plain old ?(would love to see a dragon with one of those long wizard beards ;D ) Well again great story and keep em coming.
The great Quitarias demands it! :devil:
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I haven't read it as there is usually too much stuff here to read through but... A dragon? A live dragon which you fought?
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You're right, Parallo, I had to make the dragon up....but more is about to come.
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Well I feel I should inform you that dragons do not exist in Planeshift's settings.
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Talad, the head of the project, has already stated rather firmly that there will be no dragons in PlaneShift. I'm not so sure it's the "originality" factor that plays into this, but more the "it's-been-done-and-done-and-done-again" bit. Dragons can be twisted around to be rather unique, but change them enough and they're no longer dragons, and something else. To learn previous arguments, both for and against, please search as there have been plenty of discussions concerning this issue in the past.
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Righto. Thanks
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That was okay. Nothing really happened except figting though. Attack, dodge offence, avoid, attack, defence. Wasn't very attention holding to be honest.
*edit*
Having discussed it I was informed my comment didn't get across my feelings properly by being only negative. I found it to be well worded and show great potential. Keep at it.
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Nah thats all good. You're right, I need to work on the overall story more. The next part should be more so. Unfortunately, the only one that focused it better was the part with the dragon, which of course we all know is anti-canon.
And you don't have to be nice!
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[I took to the pen for about 5 minutes, and came up with this horrible recreation of a cave-guardian. Anyone want to draw something more impressive? (http://img85.imageshack.us/img85/2835/cavecreatureguardgq4.th.png) (http://img85.imageshack.us/my.php?image=cavecreatureguardgq4.png)
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Quick questions: does anyone want me to continue this? another one: would anyone be interested in this being turned into a full-length story, edited with better stuff, etc.? please post, or pm me if you do! I'm interested in anything you all have to say about any of my stories, really.
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I really like your story Garris and it would be great if you continue the tale.
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*groans and creaks* oh wow it's been a long time. Thanks for that comment, Mariana, even though it twas a while back. I hardly ever check these forums and I feel as if I left as a noob, but you may have just brought me back. I'll consider continuing this if I get some more support. :thumbup:
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*groans and creaks* oh wow it's been a long time. Thanks for that comment, Mariana, even though it twas a while back. I hardly ever check these forums and I feel as if I left as a noob, but you may have just brought me back. I'll consider continuing this if I get some more support. :thumbup:
Finally coming back to the game? You sure have taken long enough :P
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*groans and creaks* oh wow it's been a long time. Thanks for that comment, Mariana, even though it twas a while back. I hardly ever check these forums and I feel as if I left as a noob, but you may have just brought me back. I'll consider continuing this if I get some more support. :thumbup:
Finally coming back to the game? You sure have taken long enough :P
Wow, I sure wish, but I won't be back to the game till......2 more years or a new computer I'm guessing. I sure wish I was back :(...Eh, I'm just back to be a forumer and keep my PlaneShift self alive till I can truly come back :innocent:. Nice to see you're still here!