PlaneShift
Fan Area => The Hydlaa Plaza => Topic started by: Ravenmaster on March 13, 2003, 01:18:35 am
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Here is a board for any good quotes anyone knows.
For example, here\'s one from Spoonjoppa:
Why test your luck at killing two birds with one stone, when you could take out a whole flock with one bazooka.
-Spoonjoppa
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If you drop your keys in a river of molten lava, don\'t try to get them back.
-Spoonjoppa
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Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you\'ll be a mile away from them, and you\'ll have their shoes.
-hypothermia.us
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Lies
Almost everything you believe to be true is a lie. You are living a lie.
Here are the truths:
You?re naked.
Slugs can tap dance if their lives depend on it.
You?re walking on the ceiling.
Nothing is made in China or Japan because both are just countries made up by the Parker Brothers for the game Risk.
The Quaker man is a bloodthirsty pirate.
Ducks have six-inch retractable claws.
You have 6 toes on your left foot.
Santa Clause does exist, but he?s evil.
Gravity only works on Tuesdays and you, but you can defy it by holding your breath and rubbing your belly.
Elmer?s Glue is made from people.
Eye charts are sending subliminal messages.
Charles Dickens was a golden retriever with magic powers.
The Genie in Aladdin is a prostitute.
NASA didn?t fake the moon landing, they faked the moon!
The Sims are really alive.
No one in Turkey has ever heard of a ?Fez?
Your shirt is on backwards.
Everything that has ever existed is a creation of your mind. It?s not real.
The only real thing in the universe is a small, green comb.
?Fubsy? is an expletive.
Gremlins have already conquered Russia and will soon proceed to conquer the rest of the world.
Brits have extraordinary dentistry.
Dolphin = Tuna and Tuna = Dolphin
Your legs really bend the other way.
If you turn a TV upside down, everything will play backwards.
Parmesan cheese is a staple food in most of the world.
Most stuff is only two dimensional.
Before kissing was invented, people would headbutt.
The most commonly rolled number on two six-sided dice is 2.
Two men do not walk into your life from nowhere every time you or someone around you says the word, ?Urge?
You can see around corners if you really try.
Nobody is really dead, they just act like it.
Your right leg is twice as long as your left, but only half as long as your far right leg.
Dr. Seuss, Douglas Adams, Bilbo Baggins, and M.C. Escher are the same person.
Six times seven equals 42 along with every other mathematical or philosophical question.
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This can actually be found in a book in some underground church in the old text-based game Zork:
Commandment #12592
Oh ye who go about saying unto each other: ?Hello sailor?:
Dost thou know the magnitude of thy sin before the gods?
Yea, verily, thou shalt be ground between two stones.
Shall the angry gods cast thy body into the whirlpool?
Surely, thy eye shall be put out with a sharp stick!
Even unto the ends of the earth shalt thou wander and
unto the land of the dead shalt thou be sent at last.
Surely thou shalt repent of thy cunning.
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Man who stands on toilet seat is high on pot.
Chinese saying, by Unkown Chineseman
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Those who would sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither.
-Benjamin Franklin
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I\'d say a Deep Thought by Jack Handy but I can\'t think of any right now.
\"Small two way exterior pet doors are open invitations to small doers.\"-Space Ghost
\"Inconcievable!\"-The Princess Bride
Peace 8)
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I copied the following quotes from http://3kingdoms.tripod.com. That website, in turn, recieved the quotes from the Three Kingdoms novel, which is based on the Three Kindoms Period in China. The Three Kindoms Period is after the Han Dynasty of China. Anyways, the quotes.
\"I\'d rather betray the world than let the world betray me.\" - Cao Cao
\"The world can do without Cao Hong, but not without you, my lord!\" - Cao Hong
\"What are you waiting for? If I, a leader of rank, can risk my life, cannot you?\" - Gan Ning
\"But do not grieve; so long as I live, I will not allow Wei to come and conquer Shu.\" - Jiang Wei
\"If you will not, O Master, what will become of the people?\" - Liu Bei
\"Do no evilness because it is a small one; do not leave a small deed undone because it is just a petty one.\" - Liu Bei
\"You see everything from the point of view of brute courage. You seem not to know the principles of war laid down by Sun Zi and Wu Qi. This display is only meant to entice us into fight. You will see the pretense yourselves in about three days.\" - Lu Xun
\"There are five possible operations for any army. If you can fight, fight; if you cannot fight, defend; if you cannot defend, flee; if you cannot flee, surrender; if you cannot surrender, die. \" - Sima Yi
\"Your words, O Wise One, are as gold and precious stones, but I fear that my soldiers will not carry out my commands unless I myself share their dangers.\" Sun Ce
\"When a worthy person is born into a turbulent world, he has to be a soldier and gird on a three-span sword to step on the mountains to mend the sky. I have not rendered great service. Why must I die before I have attained my desire?\" - Taishi Ci
\"Essence of my father, blood of my mother, i cannot throw this away,\" and he proceeds to swallow his own eye. - Xiahou Dun
\"It is said that the lord\'s honour is the servant\'s glory, the lord\'s sadness is the servant\'s shame. How can I turn my back on the family I have so long served.\" - Xin Ping
\"Those who are skilled in combat do not become angered, those who are skilled at winning do not become afraid. Thus the wise win before they fight, while the ignorant fight to win.\" - Zhuge Liang
\"Do the unexpected, attack the unprepared.\" - Zhuge Liang
\"When a man is in the world, O, He ought to do his best.
And when he\'s done his best, O. He ought to have his rest.
And when I have my rest, O, I\'ll quaff my wine with zest.
And when I\'m drunk as drunk can be, O, I\'ll sing the madman\'s litany.\" - Zhou Yu
\"The noble person who has eaten of his lord\'s bounty should die in his lord\'s battles; to return to one\'s home dead and wrapped in a horse\'s hide is a happy fate. Am I the sort of people to bring to nought the grand designs of my country?\"
- Zhou Yu
\"He who wins people, prospers; he who loses them, fails. Your present plan should be to seek humans of high aims and farseeing views, and you can establish yourself firmly.\" - Zhou Yu
Also, I have two of the above quotes in my signature. :P
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Who cares? -Dogbert
Bah-Dogbert
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\"Hey... that means... WE CAN GET THAT CHAIR!!!\"
Me and my friend after visiting the mall and sitting in massage chairs
\"Dude... where are all the hott people\"
Me and my friend standing next to some girls at the mall
\"Where they hell are...\"
\"may I take your order\"
my dad and the cashier at mcdonalds a few hours ago
\"I love GGOOOOLLLDDDD\"
\"I\'m from holland, isnt that vierd\"
Goldmember ...I dunno, I just love the way he says that stuff
\"I believe people who are going to commit crimes, shouldnt have guns\"
Good Ol\' Bush Jr.
\"I believe pornography demines women, or as I like to call them, bitches\"
Ali G
\"I woke up with my cloths on, which I have no idea how, I went to sleep naked\"
One of my other friends
...In my opinion, the best/funniest quotes ever are from people you know...
edit: please excuse the word peanuts up there.... censored... youll have to finish the sentence...
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In the words of Homer Simpson \"mmmm....donuts\"
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No amount of experiments could prove me right, but one single experiment could prove me wrong.
-- Albert Einstein
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I now look with astonishment on any intellectual who is a believer.
- Chekhov
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There was once a great game called Alpha Centauri, and here are some of my favorite quotes from it (some are pretty thought-provoking as well):
Man has killed man from the beginning of time, and each new frontier has brought new ways and new places to die. Why should the future be different?
Col. Corazon Santiago
\"Planet: A Survivalist\'s Guide\"
Some would ask, how could a perfect God create a universe filled with so much that is evil. They have missed a greater conundrum: why would a perfect God create a universe at all?
Sister Miriam Godwinson
\"But for the Grace of God\"
Man\'s unfailing capacity to believe what he prefers to be true rather than what the evidence shows to be likely and possible has always astounded me. We long for a caring Universe which will save us from our childish mistakes, and in the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary we will pin all our hopes on the slimmest of doubts. God has not been proven not to exist, therefore he must exist.
Academician Prokhor Zakharov
\"For I Have Tasted The Fruit\"
The genetic code does not, and cannot, specify the nature and position of every capillary in the body or every neuron in the brain. What it {can} do is describe the underlying fractal pattern which creates them.
Academician Prokhor Zakharov
\"Nonlinear Genetics\"
You are the children of a dead planet, earthdeirdre, and this death we do not comprehend. We shall take you in, but may we ask this question--will we too catch the planetdeath disease?
Lady Deirdre Skye
\"Conversations with Planet\"
Organic Superlube? Oh, it\'s great stuff, great stuff. You really have to keep an eye on it, though--it\'ll try and slide away from you the first chance it gets.
T. M. Morgan-Reilly
Morgan Metagenics
\'Abort, Retry, Fail?\' was the phrase some wormdog scrawled next to the door of the Edit Universe project room. And when the new dataspinners started working, fabricating their worlds on the huge organic comp systems, we\'d remind them: if you see this message, {always} choose \'Retry.\'
Bad\'l Ron, Wakener
Morgan Polysoft
Eternity lies ahead of us, and behind.
Have you drunk your fill?
Lady Deirdre Skye
\"Conversations with Planet\", Epilogue
Information, the first principle of warfare, must form the foundation of all your efforts. Know, of course, thine enemy. But in knowing him do not forget above all to know thyself. The commander who embraces this totality of battle shall win even with the inferior force.
Spartan Battle Manual
As the Americans learned so painfully in Earth\'s final century, free flow of information is the only safeguard against tyranny. The once-chained people whose leaders at last lose their grip on information flow will soon burst with freedom and vitality, but the free nation gradually constricting its grip on public discourse has begun its rapid slide into despotism. Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master.
Commissioner Pravin Lal
\"U.N. Declaration of Rights\"
I plan to live forever, of course, but barring that I\'d settle for a couple thousand years. Even five hundred would be pretty nice.
CEO Nwabudike Morgan
MorganLink 3DVision Interview
A handsome young Cyborg named Ace,
Wooed women at every base,
But once ladies glanced at
His special enhancement
They vanished with nary a trace.
Barracks Graffiti
Sparta Command
Of course we\'ll bundle our MorganNet software with the new network nodes; our customers expect no less of us. We have never sought to become a monopoly. Our products are simply so good that no one feels the need to compete with us.
CEO Nwabudike Morgan
Morgan Data Systems press release
What actually transpires beneath the veil of an event horizon? Decent people shouldn\'t think too much about that.
Academician Prokhor Zakharov
\"For I Have Tasted The Fruit\"
No longer mere earthbeings and planetbeings are we, but bright children of the stars! And together we shall dance in and out of ten billion years, celebrating the gift of consciousness until the stars themselves grow cold and weary, and our thoughts turn again to the beginning.
Lady Deirdre Skye
\"Conversations with Planet\"
Proper care and education for our children remains a cornerstone of our entire colonization effort. Children not only shape our future; they determine in many ways our present. Men and women work harder knowing their children are safe and close at hand. And never forget that, with children present, parents will defend their home to the death.
Col. Corazon Santiago
\"Planet: A Survivalist\'s Guide\"
Richard Baxton piloted his Recon Rover into a fungal vortex and held off four waves of mind worms, saving an entire colony. We immediately purchased his identity manifests and repackaged him into the Recon Rover Rick character with a multi-tiered media campaign: televids, touchbooks, holos, psi-tours--the works. People need heroes. They don\'t need to know how he died clawing his eyes out, screaming for mercy. The real story would just hurt sales, and dampen the spirits of our customers.
\"Mythology for Profit\"
Morgan Stellartots Keynote Speech
In the great commons at Gaia\'s Landing we have a tall and particularly beautiful stand of white pine, planted at the time of the first colonies. It represents our promise to the people, and to Planet itself, never to repeat the tragedy of Earth.
Lady Deirdre Skye
\"Planet Dreams\"
It will happen, and it will happen in our lifetimes. Fusion Power isn\'t just the future. Fusion Power is now.
T. M. Morgan-Reilly
Morgan Metagenics
You are orphans, earthdeirdre, your homeworld already buried so young among the aeons. Yet now you fill the skies where we watched a million sunsets with flame and contrails, paying no heed to the hard lessons the universe has tried to teach you. Are you a breath of life to invigorate a complacent world, you earthhumans, or an insidious cancer which must be excised?
Lady Deirdre Skye
\"Conversations With Planet\"
We are all aware that the senses can be deceived, the eyes fooled. But how can we be sure our senses are not being deceived at any particular time, or even all the time? Might I just be a brain in a tank somewhere, tricked all my life into believing in the events of this world by some insane computer? And does my life gain or lose meaning based on my reaction to such solipsism?
Project PYRRHO, Specimen 46, Vat 7
Activity Recorded M.Y. 2302.22467
TERMINATION OF SPECIMEN ADVISED
I hold a scrap of paper in the darkness and light it. I watch it burn bright and curl, disappearing into nothingness, and the heat burns my fingers. Where has it gone? What has it become? I cannot shake the feeling that I have witnessed a form of transcendence.
Commissioner Pravin Lal
\"The Convergence\"
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Heh, I just found this too. I\'m sure some of you have heard of Douglas Adams, the guy that wrote \"The Hitchhiker\'s Guide to the Galaxy\"
HOW TO LEAVE THE PLANET
by Douglas Adams
1) Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it\'s very important that you get away as soon as possible.
2) If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House ?
(292) 456-1414? to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
3) If you don\'t have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don\'t have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of) but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
4) If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is
011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
5) If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that it\'s vitally important that you get away before your phone bill arrives.
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\"Cyanide, the only deadly poison named after a beautiful color\"
-Spoonjoppa
\"Just dust and echos...\"
-Cortana
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The
Real
Answer
Never
Comes
Easy
Almost
Defying
Definition
It\'s
Called
TRANCE!!
:D :D :D :D :D
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If you kill one, it is a tragedy, if you kill one million, it is a statistic - Stalin
tells you something about human nature, doesn\'t it?
\"BAD MONKEY!!! NO SEX FOR YOU!!!\" - Daniel Coghlan
and of course, my sig.
Jessyn
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\"If I don\'t see it, it\'s not illegal.\" - Homer Jay Simpson
\"... where people thorow ducks at baloons and nothing is the way it seems.\" - Homer Jay Simpson
\"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.\" - Albert Einstein
\"When you have completed 95% of your journey you are halfway there.\" - Don\'t Know Who
\"Evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.\" - Spaceballs
\"The Lord\'s Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, and there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence. Yet, government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words. - David McIntosh
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\"\'Murderer\' is such a harsh word; I prefer \'population control specialist\'.\"
-Spoonjoppa
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\"don\'t count your dinosaurs before they are hatched because a weird other dinosaur might steal it before it\'s hatched.\"
-Little foot talking to his son.
ya pretty good eh. Not bad eh? Yup I know it. LOL
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beautiful posty place.
There once was a game for NES called Backstreet Brawlers that was horrible. Its quotes were horrible, but funny... \"Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate\" is probably my favourite. :D
In the words of Rex Nebular in correct response to the feminist\'s question of where the silverware goes on the table: \"Wherever it lands when I through it from the kitchen\"
Of course we have the memorable moments in gaming where translation or sanity faltered, such as \"I will knock you all down,\" (Garland) \"Ipso facto meenimo Magico\" (Spekkio), and of course the ever popular \"All you base are belong to us\"
Too many good ones in the QFG series to address in one sitting, or many sittings for that matter...
And I\'ll give you a cookie and some respect if you can guess who I\'m quoting here
\"How long have you been in there, listening to me?\"
\"Too long, your story needs editing\"
One of my favourite quotes of all times is that of a Japanese philosopher that I will love you if you could tell me who it is from, I forget. \"My true love died before I was born, and my closest friend will come about after my death\"
I\'ll have more when its not 430 in the morning
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Karate Quotes
The first step towards learning, is to learn to help yourself -
It\'s not how much you know, but how well you know it -
Conquer your own weakness, knowing that you are superior to the obstacles placed in front of you -
Stick to it, do not give up until you have reached your goal-
(http://www.rijnhoven.nl/britt/assets/images/karate.jpg)