PlaneShift
Gameplay => General Discussion => Topic started by: lurkmost on September 08, 2007, 01:38:01 pm
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I assume that this is a good place to request this.
First, I would like to know the kind of things people think are appropriate to put in your description.
(I'm itching to start roleplaying, but I allways wait till I have my character idea ready, and now I want to write my own description)
I'd like to see a list of player descriptions that people really like.
I'd specifically like to see ones that fit the setting/don't "break character".
The reason I want to see this is I'd like to know the kind of structure and information that's most commonly used here.
Of course, that doesn't mean I won't "break" some of the standards if I feel it necessary.
Thank you in advance.
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Well I can give you the general layout of the better roleplaying player descriptions.
- The 1st section contains anything another person would notice about your character with a quick glance. This entails the race, build, height, hair, clothes, weapons worn, etc.
- The 2nd section is usually for details which wouldn't be seen by anyone right away but can still be spotted if someone looks at your character for a few moments. This could be specific jewelry, a more detailed description of his/her face, etc.
- The 3rd section would reveal a bit more about the personality and intricate details which either require you knowing the person or knowing something about their culture. These are things you'd only find out if you know the character for a while already.
Some people also like to write their entire character's history out in the player descriptions, which is alright but I'd put it between brackets at the very bottom. Nobody should know a character's entire history by just looking at them so this is actually out of character information. Personally I keep my character's history written down somewhere else and only share it by interacting with others.
As long as you write a description with the idea that it will be what people see when they look at your character in the back of your head, you'll be fine.
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I’ll give you one of my shorter ones as an example. I actually like to keep them as short as possible, as making people read pages of details takes away from their playing time.
Hyuken Servent
(pronounced HIGH-you-kn) >I just added this part to clarify to other players<
>I have seen other players put their current mood here<
Current mood: Hyuken seems in happy spirits.
>This is the part where you tell folks what you want your character to look like on the surface only. Avoid things like “You feel fear looking upon this man” or such things as “His eyes glow with an angry red light”. The first is telling other players what they should be thinking and doing, the second is a bit silly.<
The Menki you see seems young, perhaps seventeen, and looks thin for one of his kind. He has a ready smile, though it is more shy when ladies are about.
>Then, you can go into closer details, telling folks what they might see upon closer study, or what folks might notice is different from the last time they saw your character. Add “you may notice ‘this‘” instead of telling folks what they -do- notice.<
Oddly, if you know Hyuken, there is a large claymore strapped to his back (or sometimes leaning against the kegs if he is behind the bar).
>You can add your history after this, but I think the Storywriting forum is a far better place for it, and it will not get lost in any wipes. Keep your history vague, and do not make up any town names or horrendous events that are not supported by the settings.<
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I met your character earlier tonight... Wonder if they'll implement the Pile of Dust tavern or whatever in the next verson. :D
My character's detail format is like this: the first thingy you see is what she's currently doing/feeling at the moment, the second is the usual description thingy (Father, Mother, Child Activity, blah), and the third are several paragraphs about her. I only describe visible things you can tell, or things you can interpret after watching her for a while. Just to get a good feel of the character. Like, she's a teenager, so I put some things about her personality: curious, feisty, a bit rebellious.
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Personally I just do a physical description and I have my char creation stuff at the bottom in brackets just in case it's ever needed. I don't like the what your char is feeling like at the moment because I'd forget to change it, plus others should be able to figure out how you're feeling from the way you're acting and what you're saying.
I keep the more detailed description parts tagged with `You may...' so that others can decide if they notice them or not. Which is a tip that UtM gave me once.
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I would never ever put the history of your character in your character description. It's OOC and distracting. The history of your character is something that should be discovered by the people around you. You shouldn't be shoving it in their faces in such an OOC manner. You can hint at the history of your character through visual means. If your character is a retired soldier, he or she might have some rust on their armor. And so on.
I'd also never ever state the personality of your character. Instead, communicate the personality of your character through the character's actions. In my character's description, I describe how he occassionally looks around at the people around him and smirks. I could do a better job of it but I think it's a much better and more effective way of doing it.
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Well, thanks for the replies. I have an idea for my description, and will post it whenever I get around to it.
In the meantime, I'm interested in seeing more descriptions of other people, just for curiosity's sake.
Sure I look at people in game, but it would be pretty hard to hunt down every player just to look at them.
Hmmm.
My guy's probably going to be a bit socially awkward, so he might just start doing that.
So, if you find a disfigured Ylian with a bit of a limp and lazy eye staring at you awkwardly and chewing on a pebble, that will probably be me.
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Chewing on a pebble? Heh, wow...
I may as well throw my hat in here. Read through the thread a couple times and it occurred to me that, yes, I was going about that whole description thing all wrong (at least wrong from an RP sense).
So, I rewrote it in accordance with the guides above in mind, and this is what I ended up with:
The Enkidukai before you appears young, perhaps no more than twenty or so. He stands a bit taller than the average Enki, and substantially leaner than most. At first glance, he does not appear incredibly strong or wise, though he does have the faint rugged look of one who has weathered the harshness of Ylakium. You also note a certain casual alertness - not watchfulness or paranoia, but rather the simple kind of observation of one who sees the world and strives to understand it.
On speaking to him, you quickly realize he is more intelligent than he appears, and likely a bit older as well. It seems to you that he trusts little except logic and reason - a very pragmatic, thoughtful individual, if somewhat aloof. He rarely looks at you as he speaks, staring just past you or into empty space and continually lost in thought, though you have no doubts that he hears every word. You begin to get the sense that this is an Enki for whom knowledge is the ultimate skill - one who can do anything he sets his mind to and willingly learns the necessary steps to go about it.
As you continue to examine him, you find thin traceries of scars beneath his fur, and an especially prominent one through his left brow. Though your initial perception - that he is not particularly strong - appears correct, you also percieve a delicate energy surrounding him, a barely noticeable tingle that hints of recent magical studies and a growing strength in the arcane. There is a quiet, self-determined confidence about him that seems vaguely reassuring - something solid and stoic that suggests he would be a trustworthy friend and a staunch ally.
..though I should probably swap the last two paragraphs at some point...
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There are no enkis in Yliakum. There are enkidukais. Just like there are no fenkis. It's ooc term.
All besides that sounds ok. Although i'm not putting thoughts into my descriptions.
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Actually I disagree Niko ... Enki is a rather valid abbreviation which can definitely be IC in my eyes. On the terms 'Menki' and 'Fenki' I agree, I don't like them used ICly either.
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Like a slang?
His description looks rather serious, an older individual. I'd except the Youth to use slang, not people like him.
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Maybe I'm biased, but I agree with Zan. While menik/fenki designations would be totally OOC, I can easily see Enki as a general term being an abbreviation - perhaps one used by other races, and possibly even considered a slur of sorts to "uptight" and proper Enkidukai, but a valid abbreviation all the same.
*shrug*
I suspect if you really need an IC justification beyond the obvious, any vast mixed-race community such as Ylakium would have shortened racial names simply as a matter of convinience - such as Nolthrirs and Dermorians being referred to as Nolths or Derms. That's not official Settings Lore, mind you, just my take on it.
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When you go to the class and you want to ask a question to the teacher, do you start with doc, or doctor?
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;) Depends on how we've been introduced. But this is getting off topic - anyone else have a desc. they'd like to share...?
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Well, here's the current description I think I'll go with for a while.
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Opeitus Solorin is a Ylian. His long brown hair, laced with white, hangs in many braids.
At the end of many braids hang many different jewels and minerals, all roughly cut.
His age is hard to tell, for his face is scarred and weathered from long travels
and old injuries.
He moves with a harsh slow limp, aided by a decorative walking staff. This indicates
the tired stride that comes to the old.
Yet he stops to stare with wonder and contemplation at random with the curiosity that usually only comes with youth.
But then again, he squints with aged eyes, one of which is glazed over and milky white with a prominent red
mark running through it. This, his right eye, seems to move slower than his left, making it hard to judge just
what he is intending to study.
Painted on the right side of his face are a series of simple white dots, and spiraling patterns that
travel down his neck and presumably under his clothes.
The left side of his face has a few of these, but it is mostly decorated by old disfigurements due to heavy burns,
and newer scars atop his melted flesh.
Inspecting his attire is an effort in taxonomy.
It's also an effort in shear willpower, as this bent man seems to be protected by an aegis of the worst odors imaginable.
He is covered in a heavy cloak made from many small animal skins woven and sewn together.
Throughout the cloak can be seen bits of insect carapaces, plant material, and clacker legs that seem to
be arranged in an ornamental fashion. Many different rocks are tied on at random intervals, hanging where ever
they please.
Hanging from his back is a simple, but menacing axe. It seems to have seen its share of use in both battle,
and perhaps woodcutting.
Over his left shoulder is a satchel made of some netting. Through it can be seen many odd books, and scrolls.
Clumps of mold and moss, and a bottle of some foul smelling slime are scattered carelessly among delicate
seeming parchments.
There are also more rocks.
When he moves his cloak back, various tools and instruments can be seen attached to his belt.
An old worn rock pick, dull spikes and rods, a small wooden mallet, and a delicately carved wooden branch that
forks in two. On the right of his belt is a collection of glass vials, some contain soil samples and others
contain delicate plants and mosses. There are also some more familiar medical salves.
Hanging from his belt are even more random rocks.
One might come to the conclusion that he doesn't limp from a bad leg, but that he rather struggles with the
weight of his collection of minerals, and well worn tools.
No matter the nature of his slow stride, or the painful squint that follows his every movement, his body surges
with the muscle needed to carry these many eccentricities.
Still, he moves with the help of a strangely carved walking staff.
Examining it one can see that it's smooth handle is carved in exotic runes.
Some resemble glyphs, but they are most likely a product of mundane totemic art.
The rest of the staff is decorated in a more bizzare fashion.
Carved in the wood rests a long pillar of heads, one representing each sapient race of Yliakum.
Each representative appears androgynous, and the races do not seem to be organized
in any significant way.
Though the bottom head is that of a Kran, upside down, with the point of it's head touching the earth.
The Kran head is carved in a clear bluish crystal, this would seem to indicate a position of honor as the others are
all carved into the would.
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Well there you go, now would anyone else like to play show and tell?
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Lurkmost, Well that's a Looooong description. maybe a bit too long ;) I don't people have enough time to read it, or even take the time to read it all. I think a Short description would do, about the lenght of you first 'alinea' Other details you can always mention them when needed. Also try not to put in too many thing as "You think it's for..." or "When you observe his ... you feel he's..." It takes a lot of reading ;)
Main thing is I guess, Try not to describe your character with too many words and details, If you just put in the most important things and things people can see at first sght it would be shorter and people will make it (maybe) till the end of your description. Because by the time I had read your description I forgot what it said at first.
I don't say it's a bad description of a character, but just a (big) bit too long for in the game itself :flowers:
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Main thing is I guess, Try not to describe your character with too many words and details.
If more words more accurately get across what exactly you envision your character is like apperance wise then use them. Articulating your creation is important.
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Doesn't help anyone envision it better if most people don't stick it out to read the whole thing.
While it's important for a person to know a whole lot about their own character down to the smallest detail, I'd suggest trimming that bad boy down a bit if only for the reason that in the middle of an RP, it's tough for another player to take a long break to read the whole thing. There were a lot of good, creative, sentences in that description and I bet if you kept the absolute best and most important parts, it could easily be halved in length and end up just as effective. :thumbup:
Edit: And since you were gutsy enough to share one of your descriptions, guess the least I could do is be gutsy enough to do the same.
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Finely carved into his cheek is a symbol designating him as a “sword for hire.”
[Status: Retired Bounty Hunter]
Tall, with an athletic build, he carries himself with a self-confidence that borders on arrogance. Like all other Diaboli, his skin is glossy black. Contrasting starkly with his dark complexion, are his pure blue eyes. On his left ring finger is a platinum wedding band and around his wrist her wears a holy medallion of Laanx…
Looking up, he notices you evaluating him. Throwing you a cocksure grin, he readies a witty (or sarcastic) comment… just in case.
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I doubt I put nearly as much thought into my little description as you did but there it is for better or more likely worse. :P
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I guess I'm just used to playing muds where long descriptions aren't a problem.
It didn't seem that long until I started typing it out in game.
I would really appreciate the ability to just cut and paste text in this game, and vice/versa. It would be especially helpfull for quests.
(So, I take it that having a long list of unfinished quests is common.)
I felt that if a player didn't want to read past the first part, then their character wouldn't feel the need to examine him enough to notice all the details.
(I could get even more descriptive. I know that I have a problem with being long winded)
As I said, the only problem for me is that it would take a while to write all that down in the game desc editor.
Right now I only have the first part written down.
I really do feel that the rest is important to get a feel for the character, yet leaves almost nothing that would be required to act out in rp.
I might shave it off sometime, but does it really take that long for you people to read?
At the very least, if I start writing rp accounts and stories I'll be able to mention the left out fluff.
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I really do feel that the rest is important to get a feel for the character, yet leaves almost nothing that would be required to act out in rp.
I might shave it off sometime, but does it really take that long for you people to read?
What can I say, I'm easily distrac- *sees something shiny*
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What was I saying?
Kidding :P Actually, It has more to do with juggling an RP conversation, /tells flying at you, and trying to read a small novel (though maybe a good novel) of a description on a character that just walked in the room.
Though I think it's good you decided to front load the most important first glance stuff, it still would leave me feeling that I would need to read the whole thing if I was ever going to really RP with that character just so I don't miss something important. After all, not all people are as farsighted in the structure of their descriptions as you have been and may have some very important bits of information buried on page 27, paragraph 13, line 2, and if I don't pick up on that an RP could turn pretty ugly pretty fast.
Either way, my whole philosophy on RPing in a 3d environment has always been more along the lines of movie script style, short character introductions (descriptions), if it's not important or doesn't come up later then leave it out of the story (RP), and use action whenever possible (show don't tell)... Though, there are always exceptions to the rules. ;)
My background is more screenwriting based than literary so, it very well could just be that you have a different style and approach to descriptions, RP, and stuff, and that's cool. Whatever works for you is what's right. PS would be pretty crazy boring if everyone RPed the same.
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I've had alot of characters, alot... all with different descriptions.
But I have to say... Kran are the hardest to make descriptions for... Thats why most don't have very long descriptions one=two scentences is typical..
But really descriptions don't mean a whole lot, I say just describe your looks... clothes - scars - tattoos - hair
and any details you want to be known like marqsaynt said, his character has a mark on his cheek... that shows his occupation... sometimes badges work for this same effect, or certain clothes.