PlaneShift
Fan Area => The Hydlaa Plaza => Topic started by: zanzibar on October 25, 2008, 03:52:36 am
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Now that I’m back, I want to share with everyone that I regret a lot of things that happened between me and other members of the community. The last 13 months have given me time to look back on my involvement in PlaneShift, and I don’t feel good about it. I’ve made friends, I’ve done good things for people, and I’ve donated to the guilds and roleplay stories that have happened here. But there have also been too many bad relations, too many enemies, and too many hurt feelings. It weighs on me and it feels dirty.
In game, I was never a great roleplayer. I had a habit of mixing out of character feelings with my in-game persona. My real life emotions and frustrations would seep their way into my character. And my main character didn’t have a steady, well written personality. I would fight a lot, and I would get upset when I lost. My bad habits bothered others and I didn’t correct them for a very long time.
I would also stand up to people who I saw as troublemakers and bad influences, but doing that made me a bad example for others. It created trouble with other players when there didn't need to be any. I was not a peacemaker.
One of the most annoying things I did was how competitive I got over spawns. I wouldn’t steal kills. But I would be fiercely competitive. I didn’t share, and I didn’t respect the needs and wants of others. This was partly because I felt like no one was on my side in anything, and so I had to look out for myself before all others. It did nothing but cause even more conflict between me and other players.
And on the forum, like in game, my intent was not to make others feel bad or to cause conflict. But the way I posted caused conflicts and made others feel bad. My posts were very aggressive far too often. I was too caught up in being right. All I was concerned about was me being right and others being wrong. It was terribly selfish of me.
All of these things had the effect of making others feel bad. Because I was so selfish, I didn’t stop to look at the bigger picture. I didn’t stop to think that the reason I had enemies was because I was being an enemy to others. Instead, I blamed everything on things like “reputation”. I was in a mode of blaming everyone else instead of looking at what mistakes I was making.
I think the biggest apology I owe is to the GM team, who work tirelessly to make sure things run smoothly around here. I’ve been pathologically hypercritical of them and for that I’m sorry. I was thinking and saying bad things about them without ever stopping to think what it's like to be them.
This time away from the community has given me a chance to reflect on things and see things differently. I want to be a better member of the community now that I’m back. Hopefully those who remember me can place some trust in me in return. To those who aren't able to do that right away, I’ll work to earn it as time goes on.
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The past is the past. What matters is that we reflect and learn from it to make the future a better one.
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Couldn't have said it better, Neko :)
Welcome back zansibar, I hope you'll get a fair chance from everyone
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If any of you people give him a hard time just because he's Zanzibar, then I reserve the right to make fun of you.
Zanzibar: I can't wait to see you in-game o/
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Welcome back Zanzibar. Good to see you around and in a more reflective frame of mind ;o)
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You're really big on overly dramatic gestures, aren't you?
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Welcome back Zanzibar!
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You're really big on overly dramatic gestures, aren't you?
Annnnnnnnnnnnnd your really good at pointing out things that aren't important. :P
Anyway, it takes courage to put yourself out there like that Zanzibar. I respect that and I hope others will take this opportunity to get to know you in a more positive manner. I agree with Neko, the past is the past so let us leave it there. Good to have you back Zanzibar and I look forward to RPing with you when I get myself officially back in game. :)
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i prefered it back then
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Welcome back Zanzi :)
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Welcome back, see you in-game ;)
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You're back?!?
Jeeze... I didn't realize you were gone...
BTW.. who the "heck" are you again?
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My two characters were Shalmaneser and Setmot.
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Welcome back Zanzi :)
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I thinkk I only met Shal once or twice in game. I'll admit that I didn't like the player because of the character. Remember that? You were convinced I was a spy. On the other side I thought Setmot, player and character, seemed a cool guy to chat with when I didn't know he was you alt. Anyway, wibbles.
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Welcome back!
It's nice to see you have returned.
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/me places the tissue box in the middle of the room and creeps back to her blind and waits ....
Very touching, but was it necessary to write that on a forum, rather than apologizing to the individuals individually? Sorry, but if you need to apologize on a forum...you're looking for attention. :)
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Hope your studies benefited from your absence. One thing you weren't was boring. I hope things go good for you.
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PlaneShift has never interfered with my life, but thanks for the kind words.
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Very touching, but was it necessary to write that on a forum, rather than apologizing to the individuals individually? Sorry, but if you need to apologize on a forum...you're looking for attention. :)
I disagree. He would have had to speak to most of the playerbase. Using the forum is much more practical.
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Very touching, but was it necessary to write that on a forum, rather than apologizing to the individuals individually? Sorry, but if you need to apologize on a forum...you're looking for attention. :)
I disagree. He would have had to speak to most of the playerbase. Using the forum is much more practical.
LOL
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I'm Nurahk Threesouls, and I approve this message.
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hello cadoras.
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I don't believe it...
ah well, always thought you were a smart enough guy, just an ass. While rarely at the receiving end of most of your previous... er, whatever you want to call them I hope the apology is sincere, and welcome you back to them game. Look forward to seeing you in game :)