PlaneShift
Fan Area => The Hydlaa Plaza => Topic started by: MishkaL1138 on August 25, 2017, 06:57:44 pm
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Hello PlaneShifters,
Over the course of the last few weeks I have come to realize many things. It has only been possible thanks to friends trying to beat sense into me, insisting that I could change, and even people whom I don't know how to classify, but that cared enough, or at least were honorable enough to tell me the truth and how they felt about me. Many red faces, tears, and mopping sessions later, I am willing to admit I have done wrong, and move on along a path that hopefully will help me fix or mitigate most of the harm I've done to people in the past.
I joined PlaneShift in June 2010 (that's 7 years now, to put you in perspective) as a happy-go-lucky person with little to no knowledge of English, enough to fend myself around the world, and not much more. During the course of the first year or two, I had slowly began to turn into something that would define me for the years to come, up until now.
I became callous, resentful, pushy, demeaning, condescending, unnecessarily mean, rude, and a long et cetera of qualificatives that turned me into a figurative and literal troll. And I say literal because the bigger my contempt grew, the further down I dug the hole in which I found myself. I looked back, and saw all the bridges I had burnt, the ones I had let rot, and all the chaos I caused among people who once cared about me.
For a very long time I let the petty stuff get to me, making a world out of every issue, blowing everything out of proportion. I became enemies with many people, and some of them either still hate me, or just don't care about me (or yes, even the game, just to avoid me) enough anymore. I looked back and they are many more than I can remember, and those I remember I don't have enough fingers in my hands to count, I'm afraid.
Finally I realized all this, remembered all the people I hurt, many of them very good people and even former friends of me, and it just became unbearable. I couldn't believe that I had done that to people that once cared so much about me, and I literally (in the figurative sense) stabbed them in the back, for no other reason than paranoia or pettiness. By addition, I also hurt the people close to those, causing even more resentment and sour feelings, and distancing myself further from people.
I'd like to come clean to all of you, and apologize. Because I've been an asshole (sorry for the strong word), petty and reckless, and for hurting so many people. I'm not asking for second chances, but I would really like to atone for my sins, whichever they might be. I know not many will want anything to do with me, but those who do are more than welcome to address me, publicly or privately, and we can talk it through. I assure you than more often than not I will be sorry that I was such a bad person to you.
Yours sincerely, Mishka
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Let me do just one simple thing at this time:
/me offers a loving hug to Mischka
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You've come a long way, Mishka. Congrats on your turnaround!
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I'm not on here much, so all I remember is getting birthday wishes from you last year. So only good memories from me! Hooray for self reflection and good intentions and best of luck going forward. :)
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Good luck, Mishka.
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I've never had a problem with you Mishka, but I'm glad you've decided to make positive changes in your life. I hope this helps you in your virtual life and real life. :thumbup:
Side note: You didn't know a lot of english when you started? ??? I never knew that.
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Side note: You didn't know a lot of english when you started? ??? I never knew that.
Mostly people don't.
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Side note: You didn't know a lot of english when you started? ??? I never knew that.
Mostly people don't.
Like Dilihin, for example ;D
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Does this mean no more snarky posts and meme pics from you? If so, that really sucks.
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/21/98/8a/21988af1c86951f6400b4f89a4aa36ec.jpg)
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Snark/burns and memes don't mean being an ass! You can be playful and educate while burning someone...
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Side note: You didn't know a lot of english when you started? ??? I never knew that.
Mostly people don't.
Like Dilihin, for example ;D
can't deny really.
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Another insincere attention grab of a drama post. Who would have expected that? Lets be honest you will keep ruining people's gameplay experience just like you did in the past. Coming back here from time to time just to enjoy that sweet sweet attention you so desperately crave. Sad to say the least.
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Another insincere attention grab of a drama post. Who would have expected that? Lets be honest you will keep ruining people's gameplay experience just like you did in the past. Coming back here from time to time just to enjoy that sweet sweet attention you so desperately crave. Sad to say the least.
I really wonder what you win from doing this.
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Another insincere attention grab of a drama post. Who would have expected that? Lets be honest you will keep ruining people's gameplay experience just like you did in the past. Coming back here from time to time just to enjoy that sweet sweet attention you so desperately crave. Sad to say the least.
Shame on you.
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Mishka, I think most of us here have been at the point where everything seems to merit a snap and a snarl some time in our lives (I certainly have). Good on you for realizing where you were at and making the changes to not only better yourself but also to repair the bridges you realized you burned. It takes a strong person to realize wrongdoing and an even stronger one to publicly apologize for it. I apologize to you for the part I played in a few unsavory exchanges involving you over the years.
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Another insincere attention grab of a drama post. Who would have expected that? Lets be honest you will keep ruining people's gameplay experience just like you did in the past. Coming back here from time to time just to enjoy that sweet sweet attention you so desperately crave. Sad to say the least.
Three words: Shame on you.
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Shame is not helping anyone here. Neither is holding onto the past.
It is important to forgive and let go. The past… is in the past.
If you still need to be angry with Mishka, thats all fine, everyone is entitled to his or her feelings. But then I suggest you bring it up with her personally. Or just be angry at her, feel it, welcome it until the feeling fades away.
I do not direct this at anyone specifically. Take whatever is helpful to you and discard the rest.
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Stop feeding the troll :@#\
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Honestly, I think that this can be locked. What needed to be said has been said. If anyone wants to speak to him about getting a personal apology they are more than welcome to do so, in game via tell or PM here.
Considering all the things that have been done and said over the years, not everyone is going to forgive the hurt and pain that's been caused to them or those close to them. I don't know everything that's happened or been said, I'm just speaking generally.
Not everyone is going to accept an apology and that's their right. You can't force it upon them and you can't let it bring you down again, you just have to smile and know you tried your best and did what you could and move on from there. Some people are not good at forgiving others for their mistakes and they don't think people can change. Sometimes the hurt and damage are too much for them to accept. You have to respect them and give them that, let them hurt/be mad or upset. Hopefully, eventually, they will see the change and accept it for themselves. It's one thing for you to apologize and say you are sorry, but it's a whole other thing to actually change and show people you can be a better person, they just might be holding out for that before they are ready to open themselves up again.
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Not everyone is going to accept an apology and that's their right.
You are absolutely right about that, Emaline.
But that is not what happened here. Catlemur did not say, "I do not accept your apology", but came out after last posting in 2013 only to kick someone who was already down on the floor.
Peace, people! There is too much hate around. Use "/ignore", and seek adventure in other parts of Yliakum.
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(https://m.popkey.co/6bee24/6GJWk.gif)
Seriously? Mishka isn't such a bad person, is he?
Why all the festering butt-hurt, folks?