PlaneShift

Fan Area => The Hydlaa Plaza => Topic started by: Bogo on April 20, 2004, 07:45:08 pm

Title: Stupid jokes
Post by: Bogo on April 20, 2004, 07:45:08 pm

I got a few -

A pirate walked into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender looked at him and asked \"What\'s with the steering wheel?\" The pirate replied \"Argggg it\'s drivin\' me nuts.\"

A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said \"I\'ll serve you, but don\'t start anything.\"

Two peanuts walk into a rowdy bar. One was assaulted.

Why don\'t blind people like to sky dive? It scares the dog.

What\'s The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Damn! A Bad Skydiver Goes Damn! Whack.


Thank you thank you. I\'ll be here all night.

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Post by: Draklar on April 20, 2004, 08:00:12 pm

you don\'t know what stupid joke is, \'till you hear Aendar\'s :rolleyes:
:P ;)

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Post by: AendarCallenlasse on April 21, 2004, 12:22:27 am

You know if you hadn\'t mentioned me I never woulda done it...

Ok so this guy walks into a psychiatrist\'s office, but he\'s completely naked and wrapped in cling film.  Well the psychiatrist looks at him for a minute and finally says, \"Well I can clearly see your nuts.\"

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Post by: snow_RAveN on April 21, 2004, 12:45:10 pm

hey hey ... you forgot me darklar :(

A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely. The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none. The General in charge of his execution asked him, \"Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn\'t there anything you want before you die?\"

The man thought for a moment, then said, \"Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?\"

The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.

\"Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...\"

so do i win ???

Title: Nah!!
Post by: TheRedMonk on April 21, 2004, 03:04:02 pm

A bear and a rabbit were in the forest taking a shit together.
-Don\'t you hate it when shit gets stuck in your fur? asked the bear.
-Nah! I really don\'t mind. answered the rabbit.
-Good! said the bear and wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Take that and rewind it back! ;)

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Post by: snow_RAveN on April 21, 2004, 04:26:34 pm

i cant put my dirty jokes down Cause their watching and ive run out of foil ....

Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all that dog food Fido wouldn\'t eat?

Shut up and eat your meat loaf

:D

Drinkers daily bread( Beer )!

Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hollowed be thy drink.
I will be drunk,
At home as in the travern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not into incarceration,
But deliver us from hangerovers.
For thine is the beer. he bitter and The lager
Forever and ever,
Barmen.

A man walks into a bar and orders one shot. Then he looks into his shirt pocket and orders another shot. After he finishes, he looks into his shirt pocket again and orders another shot. The bartender is curious and askes him \"every time you order a shot, you look in your shirt pocket. Why?\" The man replies, \"I have a picture of my wife in my pocket and when she starts to look good, I go home.\"

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Post by: Caldazar on April 21, 2004, 09:24:13 pm

You were absolutely right, these jokes are stupid.
Nevertheless, pretty amusing :P

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Post by: Davis on April 21, 2004, 09:47:02 pm

I was giving a demonstration on humor in school a few days back. This is how it went.

Paul (in a lame attempt to be funny): Everything\'s funny until someone get\'s hurt, and then... it\'s hilarious!
[lack of laughter]
Davis: Wrong. Nothing\'s funny until someone gets hurt, then it\'s funny.
Paul: No, everything\'s funny until someone gets hurt, and then... it\'s hilarious!
Davis: Observe. Niloc, why did the chicken cross the road?
Niloc: I don\'t know. Why?
Davis: To get to the other side. Not funny, see?
Paul: Yeah.
Davis: Niloc, why did the chicken cross the road?
Niloc: I don\'t know. Why?
Davis: *slaps*
[laughter]
Davis: You see?

Try it!

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Post by: Icefalcon on April 22, 2004, 04:24:53 am

OK that was really stupid, but funny still :D

Title: hihihihihi
Post by: TheRedMonk on April 22, 2004, 02:12:13 pm

I saw snow_ravens meat loaf joke...so I gotta make one too...

-\"Mommy Mommy! I dont like little brother!\"
-\"SHUT UP AND EAT!\"

nasty...