PlaneShift
Fan Area => The Hydlaa Plaza => Topic started by: karakth on May 16, 2004, 01:41:39 pm
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Alright as all of you hopefully know, it will be summer soon. Now, summer equals beach babes, but how on Earth do you start a conversation with them?
I already got some....interesting....suggestions on IRC.
And here\'s another question....Is it possible to meet intelligent ambitious girls my age (fifteen) at the beach?
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Originally posted by karakth
And here\'s another question....Is it possible to meet intelligent ambitious girls my age (fifteen) at the beach?
would be easier in good school methinks ;)
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Well, people my age won\'t be going to school until Summer Break is over. And Summer Break is usually 3 months here but we\'re special so we have 4 months. I need something to do until then because CB is surely not coming out :P
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LOL I cant believe you took the discussion to the forums...
anyway, the stupid-friend-shoots-a-football-in-the-head-of-the-girl trick cannot fail...believe me :D
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Of course it can. Besides, that\'s no way to treat girls >:(
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Originally posted by karakth
Is it possible to meet intelligent ambitious girls my age (fifteen) at the beach?
You can\'t find intelligent girls at the beach, no matter what age...
And as I said on IRC, the passive way is the best. Do nothing, and they will come.
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that\'s no way to treat girls >:(
eh I only give them a small concussion :D Your saying that there are no intelligent girls at the beach. I could guess that most girls have been on a beach. So what youre really saying is that most girls are stupid.
I respect girls and think that there are intelligent ones and stupid ones to be found everywhere...
You can\'t find intelligent girls at the beach, no matter what age...
You wouldnt happen to say that because you have bad experience from meeting girls on the beach now would you??? ;)
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if your going to the beach to find girls it then your a loser.
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[13:26] And how do you greet an intelligent girl you don\'t know anyway?
[13:27] /greet
[13:27] lol you nerds
:P
nay, being passive won\'t work...
hitting with ball isn\'t polite, yes... and gun is more effective :P
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/me is still waiting for Altharion to say something smart for once
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actually.. i do agree upon being passive is better.. i am, and i met this really sweet girl online (yes online) and probably same can be done with girls on beaches.. but they probably think the same.. they stay home and chat :P but that depens on what type you like..
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well \'tis kinda different. not-online, when you\'re very attracted to someone you could have various problems. Like getting all nervous and saying something stupid ;)
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Originally posted by Draklar
well \'tis kinda different. not-online, when you\'re very attracted to someone you could have various problems. Like getting all nervous and saying something stupid ;)
Another reason why the passive way is the best way.
You don\'t say anything, you just mind your own buisness.
If you got a chance with her, you\'ll notice. If not, just keep minding your own buisness.
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Originally posted by Draklar
well \'tis kinda different. not-online, when you\'re very attracted to someone you could have various problems. Like getting all nervous and saying something stupid ;)
*funny* (hope you weren\'t serious) :]
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oops... heh, true :P
the problem is when girls are passive as well...
or when girl you might have chance with, got \'attacked\' by some player or something ;)
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I dunno, I mean, you can\'t say that you\'ve never blurted out something which you wished you\'d never even have thought of to a girl.
My weirdest one: (Happened last september I think)
\"Oh...er...Yes, I use this to keep a log of the pencil-shavings war at school. Uh...\"
OR (This happened when I was like 10)
Me and a girl were leaning against a wall upside-down (used to do gymnastics then). And it must have been all that blood going to my head or something because I said, \"I just felt my sexual organs go up. Or down. I can\'t tell when I\'m like this.\" :(
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don\'t look at the beach for a girl
I used to watch my friends making fools of themselves all the time when I lived in california, tryin to impress girls at the beach. I\'m not sayin it didn\'t work, but the best they ever got was a sleazy lay. a few of them got vacation girls into a lot of trouble cause they didn\'t happen to mention they were only 14 or 15. these were big guys who looked older. if you do go lookin for babes, be careful, make sure they\'re your age before you try to pick them up. you don\'t wanna ruin a womans life do ya?
[edit] oops big spelling error there
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Hmm the clothing worn at the beach is very...provocative. So picking up a girl at the beach could give her the wrong ideas, which I don\'t want (I plan to stay clean until marriage). So there have to be better places to meet girls. But where?
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Originally posted by Draklar
the problem is when girls are passive as well...
Even if she\'s passive, it\'s not hard to notice if she\'s interested, she\'ll eye you.
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Originally posted by karakth
So there have to be better places to meet girls. But where?
depends on what type of ladies you\'re looking for...
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Originally posted by SaintNuclear
Originally posted by Draklar
the problem is when girls are passive as well...
Even if she\'s passive, it\'s not hard to notice if she\'s interested, she\'ll eye you.
depends
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no one ever believes me, but....
arcades.
gamer girls are the best type for gamer guys. if you can manage to pick one up, you\'ll be happy for life man.
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check the sims forum ;)
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Stop looking for the right girl, the right girl will find you! :)
well you have to believe in destiny for that one to work :P
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Originally posted by karakth
Me and a girl were leaning against a wall upside-down (used to do gymnastics then). And it must have been all that blood going to my head or something because I said, \"I just felt my sexual organs go up. Or down. I can\'t tell when I\'m like this.\" :(
Ah, man I could help laughing at that :D
Anyways, be somewhat passive, dont go up to a girl and say \"hey, you\'r hot, lets go out.\" That won\'t work(for the type of girl you are looking forat least :rolleyes: ), just talk to them as you would your friends. Be yourself and don\'t try to impress her. Lasting relationships start small ;)
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*ahem* walk across the beach once you see a single good looking girl trip up and fall in the sand next to them its a great test because it shows what type of person they are...if they help you up there a good sort if they giggle and point..not worth your time once they do help you make sorta dazed look and smile and say something about being clumsy and say your thankyous.... then walk on coming back 20 mins later seeing if she remebers if so walk up and say \"sorry to bug you but can i have your number\" <- fit to your own style of talk
should work :)
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Im impressed seperot...but I think the football trick is better. ;)
If you walk up to a girl and tell her she is very beautiful you will know from her reaction if you have a chance. I dont believe in making friends with a girl you like cuz thats the hardest situation to get out of. Itll end up with her telling you that she doesnt want to date you because she doesnt want it to ruin your friendship.
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are you one of those people that say \"the glass is half-empty\", RedMonk? ;)
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Honestly Sep I\'ve thought about that one, but my comic nature would mean that girls would laugh. Heck, if I tripped over my own feet while walking in sand I\'d laugh. I\'d probably also adjust it to look funny (face in sand, etc). Though it probably will work. Oh yeah, knowing me I\'d also blurt out a LAME pun like \"Talk about falling for a girl...\"
Though I\'ll try it.
Hmm...Arcades. Now there\'s an idea.
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That actually might work :). If they laugh you know theyve got a sense of humor. And if they help you up you know they are nice.
RedMonk, im very dissapointed with you, throwing things at girls you like, whats next clubbing them down and dragging them into your cave? :D
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are you one of those people that say \"the glass is half-empty\", RedMonk? ;)
hell no...Im the biggest optimist in the world :D Its just statistics my friend ;)
whats next clubbing them down and dragging them into your cave?
OMG NO! Clubs are for losers...I have a stun gun ;)
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I just talk about what they like.
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Originally posted by TheTaintedSoul
RedMonk, im very dissapointed with you, throwing things at girls you like, whats next clubbing them down and dragging them into your cave? :D
first thing that came to my mind when I heard the ball idea in their irc discussion :D
bleh, statistics... I\'d rather take the chance and fail than live with the thought that I chose the easy way...
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thats not what its about Drak...I dont tell you not to take your chance with a girl...just that you should consider another method of approach ;)
/me lends Draklar his stun gun
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Originally posted by Kuiper7986
I just talk about what they like.
I\'d rather talk about what both sides like ;)
sharing interests... that\'s the important part :]
*throws stun gun at random forum user\'s head*
well what do ya know? it works :D
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It is obvious that this is a thread for perverts, so it is time to meet us!
We are the defenders of justice...
...the perverts\' worst enemy...
...the food lovers...
...we are...
THE SAMURAI PIZZA CATS
...
I, Speedy Cerviche, have heard some rumors about a woman being treated badly in our community. The man behind this act of sexual abuse will feel the wrath of our team...
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you know... suddenly this guild resembles me of the medieval witch hunters :rolleyes:
anyway, this is rl topic so you might as well get lost
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Originally posted by Speedy Cerviche
It is obvious that this is a thread for perverts, so it is time to meet us!
We are the defenders of justice...
...the perverts worst enemy...
...the food lovers...
...we are...
THE SAMURAI PIZZA CATS
...
see! see! and u all think im insane!! :D
on another note, u are all idiots im afraid, women are ppl too, the same doubts, weaknesses and feelings (ok the last one is thrown off every once and a while) they arnt goals to be won.
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Originally posted by KwartzTheKran
see! see! and u all think im insane!! :D
i always did ^^
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hey hey Kwartz... not everyone that posted in this thread share the opinion that mauling girl with a ball, or bury your face in sand is a good idea :D
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nah, I say, go to an arcade, find the woman who seems to run the place and challenge her... but make sure you know the game you\'re challenging her to pretty well, nothing stings worse than losing to a prospective date...
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but make sure you know the game you\'re challenging her to pretty well, nothing stings worse than losing to a prospective date...
well lets hope she doesnt feel like you do...cuz in that case you should be a gentleman and let her win :D
The Samurai Pizza Cats r0x0rz...cant wait to see more :D
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rofl, those ideas just keep getting better :P
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Aye, girls are people too. However sometimes they confuse the living daylights out of me. Like why does a girl flirt with you and then turn you down when you ask her out? It\'s just madness I say...
And I can\'t imagine a non-serious relationship. Everyone tells me that I\'m too young to have one but I say why even bother asking a girl out if you can\'t picture spending the rest of your life with her? ?(
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because the younger you are, the higher is the possibility that you don\'t look at things straight. Of course in my opinion it\'s wrong to say that, it just may happen to be the one :rolleyes:
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Well i can think of at least one reason. But if i would say that the samurai pizza cats would come for me :D
Just see it as training for a serious relation later on i think. And yes girls dont make sense :)
But great ideas guys, ill even try out the throwing things at girls ;)
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Originally posted by karakth
I say why even bother asking a girl out if you can\'t picture spending the rest of your life with her? ?(
I\'m going to jump in here and reply to that, simply because I can\'t resist.
You\'re young. I\'m only two years older, but I can\'t -imagine- spending the rest of my life with -anyone-. Right now we\'re meant to explore, make mistakes, and learn different things about different people. Tying yourself to one person in the beginning and thinking of staying with them until the end of time may seem like a noble thing to do, but in reality it\'s a little silly. Ask someone out because you like them and want to spend more time with them, not because you someday hope to marry them and have kids. Not at your age.
We\'re still kids. Just have fun with life.
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3 pages in a matter of hours. Why am I not surprised. Anyway I didn\'t read any of the pointless banter, but...
OH MY GAWD!
SAMURAI PIZZA CATS!
HELL YES!!!
That show ruled... never thought I\'d see anyone other than myself bring it up.
[edit]Bigger yelling.[/edit]
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But if you train your mind to jump from girl to girl, simply because your feelings change, what\'s to say you will stay faithful to your future wife? Bad training, IMHO.
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hehe the samurai pizza cats are so kewl...they rewl! :D
Karyuu youre a smart guy...couldnt agree with you more.
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Originally posted by TheRedMonk
Karyuu youre a smart guy...couldnt agree with you more.
oh, I have a dating tip! :D
Never, ever call lady \'guy\' :)
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At the end of the day its all about sex.
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Originally posted by Draklar
Originally posted by TheRedMonk
Karyuu youre a smart guy...couldnt agree with you more.
oh, I have a dating tip! :D
Never, ever call lady \'guy\' :)
Hehe i made the same mistake as RedMonk. I also thought Karyuu was a guy *looks ashamed*
Karakth, i think you worry too much, its not about hopping from one girl to another. Just find out what you search for in a woman. And learn to be in a relationship.
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But if you learn to be in a relationship knowing that you\'re not serious about it, why\'s your marriage going to be different?
And I know exaclty what I want in a woman. That\'s my problem; I\'m very picky.
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LOL...sorry bout that Karyuu. Im so stupid. And to think that Ive seen your IRL pic an all :D
*Redmonk takes out his football and looks at Karyuu
But if you learn to be in a relationship knowing that you\'re not serious about it, why\'s your marriage going to be different?
Because hopefully you will learn from the mistakes you made in your first relationship (and you will make mistakes) and not repeat them in your serious relationship. And what if the girl you marry thinks you suck (like in \"being bad\") in the bedroom...she wont if you practice first ;)
oh and btw...at your age you should be looking for a girl, not a woman ;)
I admire the fact that you can so openly talk about you waiting til the wedding night...not anybody would do that
p.s. Karakth if I invent a new flower and decide to give it to you, can I be in your diary?
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Oh you can have a serious relationship. Only its not likely that it will last at your age. But it doesn\'t matter, just find a nice girl and see where it goes. Its not like you have to marry her right from the beginning.
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Originally posted by karakth
But if you train your mind to jump from girl to girl, simply because your feelings change, what\'s to say you will stay faithful to your future wife? Bad training, IMHO.
Look at it from another angle:
You date a girl that you want to spend your life with when you\'re 15. You\'re still dating with her when you\'re 19, and decide to marry her.
*fast forward, 23 years later*
You\'re 42 years old, you\'ve been with the same girl (now woman) for 29 years. Since you spent so much time together, the bad things in each other (everyone got bad things in them) can\'t be ignored already and are really really beginning to annoy. Arguments are common, and both sides start cheating on each other as a refuge. You either break up with her, or you continue your life miserably, until you die of old age (wich comes sooner than it should, because you\'re not happy).
I agree that dating someone that you don\'t want to spend the rest of your life with is kinda idiotic. You should date a girl that you like enough to live the rest of your life with. You shouldn\'t, however, actually do it until you\'re older :P
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Yeah I know. I just feel....lonely. Anyway.
Bad things in people always come out. And no matter when you marry, they start to annoy. Besides, I don\'t stay in love for long. Certainly not four years.
That\'s another thing. My values say that when I encounter a problem with a girl, I try to solve it. I don\'t leave her. One of those problems is falling out of love. Being \"in love\" is a feeling, and feeling are fickle things. So I have no way to leave a girl. Which means, I\'ll always be the one to get dumped. Hmm...All I have to do is wait for a girl who doesn\'t dump me.
Bleh, 15 is definitely too young. However. I\'ve had something of around six girlfriends in my life. I have never kissed any of them ;(
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St. Nuke said it right. Date someone you could live with for the rest of your life, well, at least that\'s what I think.
Think about it though, you\'re more mature than I am, and I\'m about twice as mature as people your (& my) age. Why? I dunno, but I\'m sure you\'re not going to make any really stupid life decisions (excluding relationship decisions...). My guess is, girls look for that as part of a good attitude. *shrugs*
Poor Karyuu, victim of the gamer\'s common stereotype. : P
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i was just giving advice...i\'ve never yoused it myself
i\'m disagreeing with it all...but then im in love so what i say about such things to you is silly since most whouldent understand :)
on that note... 1 week 5 days left :D
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Originally posted by KwartzTheKran
At the end of the day its all about sex.
lol
you have obviously had too many/no girlfriends have you
the problem with the arcade is that most of the girls there are actually \'dragged along\' by their boyfriends, trust me on that one
i cant be bothered with girls unless they are hardcore gamers like myself :]
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kwartz is right !!!
and finding hard core gameing chicks is a hard thing girls dont usually spend time with their computer they spend more time going out and more money then us guys untill we are at the legal age to buy beer :D
besides half the \"girls\" you meet online are just other guys at the beach well at least you should be able to tell :D
any way back to the main topic GET SIX PACK ABs it works with the ball trick ! :D
and darklark when did you become a sugar daddy ? LOL:D
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not necessarily man, a lot of gamer chicks prefer arcade gaming over other kinds of gaming, so when you find them, they\'re usually there...
also, ya\'ll have seen neopets before??? well, I tried that game for a while a few years ago. in one month, I\'d gotten hit on by five girls, three of them underaged. told them all the same thing, \"I\'m married\". meh, it\'s a cute little girl game online, so most of the people who play it are girls, and the occasional loser (me) who can\'t find anything better to do with their time.
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Ok here are my words of advice:
a) Thinking you are finding a lifemate or training yourself to be faithful is just not a valid thought process here. You are learning how to have a personal relationship with someone--not training yourself to be faithful. Faithfulness comes from finding the right one, not from training.
b) This lifemate mentality is going to make you take things way too seriously with a girl. First you will be too picky. Then if you find one you like, you will think she is too perfect, put her on a pedestal, be scared of her and scare her off in the end. Your criteria should be \"someone with whom having a sandwich is better than having a sandwich alone\" at this stage. Just find any girl that seems ok and talk to her.
c) Remember that girls at the beach want to meet boys too (the ones not there with boys already). They don\'t have the freedom you do to just walk up and start talking to you. You, as the guy, are much more expected in the role of pursuer and you should use that to your advantage. I\'ve always felt sorry for the girl who felt she couldn\'t ask guys out and yet never got asked out herself...what are her options?
d) Point \"c\" means that if you go up and talk to girls, you are doing what they want. :-) This means you have a chance. This also means you don\'t need much of a pretext, like a ball hitting them or whatever. Just walk up and say \"hi\". Have a list of other questions so it isn\'t just dead silent after she says hi back. Positive things not negative things. If you say \"This beach sucks\" she will think you are a jerk and shut you down. Things like \"I\'m ____, what\'s your name?\" or \"Where are you from?\", \"Isn\'t the water great on such a hot day?\" or whatever. No matter how she answers, be positive back. She says \"I\'m from ____\" you say \"Oh that is a cool town. I like the Taco Bell there.\" or something.
e) Testing the waters before walking up. Get somewhere in sight of her and see if you can make eye contact. If she is interested in you, she will MAKE SURE to make eye contact with you. This is a girl\'s main way of fishing for guys, since she can\'t exactly wave and shout for you to come over. :-) If she makes eye contact, hold it a second and look away. Then look back and if you catch her eye again and you both smile, then you\'re in for sure. If she avoids eye contact with you, she probably doesn\'t like you and doesn\'t want to give the impression she is inviting you over. If she avoids eye contact with everyone, that is a possibility but also may be surmountable. Some great girls just don\'t seem that approachable--but really are.
f) If you have a conversation with a girl like in point \"d\" and it seems like it went ok for a minute or two, but then it dies down, remember that she is as uncomfortable as you are! :-) In that case, change the situation. Just get up and say \"Hey it was cool talking with you. My parents might bitch if I don\'t go back over there soon... See you.\" or \"I was about to get some drinks... would you like a Coke too?\" or \"My brother is waiting on me. I\'ll come by and talk to you a little bit later ok?\" You can say these in a way (hesitating a bit) to give her the opportunity to stop you but if she doesn\'t, you just learned some more. She could a) want you to finally leave and you just made a graceful exit, b) want you to stay, and now will be more eager for your return, c) offer to come with you to get a drink, etc. If you leave and say you\'ll come back, wait till a good moment to invite her somewhere (like lunch, or to play frisbee) or bring her something. Then that gives you something new to talk about and something for her to like about you.
Women are much more subtle than men (esp as teenagers) because they are always reading these BS magazines that tell them what to do in these situations. :-) We don\'t have those, so you just have to read the signals. If she sends off positive vibes, she likes you and if she doesn\'t, she doesn\'t. If she sends off signals you aren\'t sure of, she probably doesn\'t.
Obvious signs she likes you: smiling, eye contact, tossing hair, flipping hair, combing hair, asking you to rub lotion on her. :-) (Smiling and eye contact are things chick mags always talk about that guys never notice, while playing with hair is a universal subconscious thing that doesn\'t have to be taught.)
Signs she doesn\'t like you: looking off to the side a lot (wants to escape), covering her body or her boobs--crossing her arms, etc. Making eye contact with her friend next to her, which is a way of calling for help sometimes. Telling you to go away. :-)
I love this subject. Let\'s talk more about it. :-)
- Vengeance
p.s. The game arcade idea sux. Every girl there is with a guy.
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Originally posted by Vengeance
Women are much more subtle than men (esp as teenagers) because they are always reading these BS magazines that tell them what to do in these situations.
No offence, but it sounds like you read them too :D
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Meh, those magazines are full of crap advertisements and poorly written articles.. the only way their advice works out is because it is regurgitated by people who read the magazines and becomes the norm.
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Good job Venge! :D
Some more advice...especially to Karakth. Like Venge said not all girls will show you they like you, with eye contact and stuff. Some girls love to play with you and act like they dont care very much about you. What you have to do with them is seem interesting for a while and make a good impression and then suddenly ignore her back. From my own experience those girls are the ones that are the most attached to you when you finally get them. :)
Another thing Venge said about girls covering their body or boobs was interesting. It depends on how they do it cuz everybody (boys and girls) have a tendency of touching or dragging their hands over body parts they like with themselves. How many times havent you seen guys walk on the beach and scratch themselves on the 6-pack??? Girls do the same thing and if they are interested in you theyll probably touch their best parts to show you. If you later manage to get more intimate with the girl its good to remember what parts she likes about herself and give her compliments ;)
Another thing...most girls dont go to the beach alone, so if you feel ashamed of just walking up to a girl that seems interesting, bring a friend to chat with her friend. Then you can just hang out while you make it obvious that youre specially interested in one girl. :D
p.s. whats wrong with reading a women magazine?
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Originally posted by TheRedMonk
Girls do the same thing and if they are interested in you theyll probably touch their best parts to show you. If you later manage to get more intimate with the girl its good to remember what parts she likes about herself and give her compliments ;)
So if she covers her stomach he should later say \"your stomach is lovely\"? And if she covers her boobs he should say \"your breasts smells like raspberries at the morning of a beutiful spring day!\"? :rolleyes:
Besides, sometimes it might be just a stomach ache or something.
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You probably know what I mean already Saint Nuclear...but Ill make a try to enlighten you anyway. :D
If a girl doesnt like her belly because and for example thinks its too big, she probably doesnt want you to touch it. If a girl makes it clear that she likes her belly then theres a bigger chance she will enjoy when you touch it or comment it. :)
Telling a girl you just met that you think her boobs look great or smell like raspberries on a spring day, isnt what Im talking about. Just think about it. Wouldnt you be happy if a girl told you she loves your body???
If you havent understood by now what I meant with my earlier post theres no point in trying more...
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Hmm all good advice.
We don\'t have magazines, we have forums ^^
>.< Those magazines should be burnt. I say they\'re a mind-controlling agent towards a uniform society.
Btw, faithfulness doesn\'t come when you meet \"the one.\" Because then it\'s just infatuation tying you down, and that sort of withers away after a few months or years.
Like for example today I saw a girl on the bus I know from German lessons three years ago. However, I didn\'t really approach her because despite her being beautiful, she\'s a bimbo. Now, having a sandwich with her would be more pleasant than having one by myself, but only for the fact that I\'d be with a pretty girl. I like talking about any scientific theory and she likes talking about...clothes. And no, making a scientific theory about clothes and the reason girls buy them so much somehow doesn\'t work.
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vengence wow you should write a book bout dateing tips for guys it\'ll sell like hot cakes :D
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Well if you\'re only in for the fun of it, I suggest listening to her interests, and even though clothing can be dreadfully boring most girls love listening to themselves talk, and find listening to be such an unsual attribute in men that they are instantly drawn to those who have the courage to use it :P Throw in some careing eyes, and a sincere smile everytime she says something funny (however remote it might be :P) and you\'ve got them were you want \'em =)
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Originally posted by karakth
Alright as all of you hopefully know, it will be summer soon. Now, summer equals beach babes, but how on Earth do you start a conversation with them?
I already got some....interesting....suggestions on IRC.
And here\'s another question....Is it possible to meet intelligent ambitious girls my age (fifteen) at the beach?
He I guess Im just lucky...
I was in the same predicament as you back in Middle School...
I wasn\'t unatractive or a bad person, I just was very shy when it came to approaching a girl.
Then I came to this realization, \"Why am I worrying about this?\"
So I stopped. I didn\'t get any dates in middle school but then a funny thing happened as soon as I reached high school the women came flocking. (Maybe somthing to do with a maturity level?)
I just was myself and I didn\'t worry about women. I never asked a girl out once. They always were the ones asking me out. I had two girls go to prom with me!
The year after that the girl who asked me to my senor prom became my current girlfriend that was two years ago.
I guess the moral is to just go with the flow and be yourself. If you try to go after a girl you\'ll be akward and you may mess it up. If you are just yourself the girl will see your real personality, maybe come to like it and ask you out. It\'s a lot better this way to start relationships as well, there are no false faces to portray when around them and it means you might actually be able to do things you really like with eachother.
No matter ho you go about it be yourself and just go with the flow. It will happen eventually. Just be patient.
(oh and at the risk of sounding like someones dad Aids is real and you dont want it. If you find a girl and you go that route be safe)
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Newsflash: Even scientific babes like to talk about clothes. You\'re just going to have to grit your teeth and go with that one. ;-)
The same goes for china patterns, curtains, guest room towels, flipflops, nail polish, etc.
And really, do you want to hang out with the trollish woman who ignores all this? ;-)
- Venge
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you guys should stop talking about having a sandwich with a girl...makes me think of a sex position and Im sure thats not what you mean. :D
Say Ice-cream instead ;)
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ufff... Ice-cream is as bad as sandwich where I live :D
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ok, I\'ve been back here laughing about how much you guys really don\'t know about girls, and my wife came over and started reading over my shoulder...
here\'s what she has to say
Dani:Alright, listen up. This is an ACTUAL GIRL poking her head in here. Isn\'t that amazing? I have to say one thing, only a few of you know how to get a female\'s attention. Why do girls flirt with guys and then turn them down?
Let me explain that one in a way i think you guys can understand it. You are guys. Rooha. We are girls. YAY! We use words. . .you use actions. You want laying. . .WE want PLAYING. You guys like to see things, we girls like to IMAGINE things. Besides, flirting is fun.
Karath, being with a girl forever isn\'t neccesarily a bad thing, but being 15 and having a *clasps hand to chest dramatically* \"one true forever kind of love\" now adays is just hard to do. A Romeo and Juliet kind of love. Not that it can\'t be done, just you might want to wait a while before settling. You might know what you want in a woman, but ten to one, when it comes down to it, you aren\'t going to settle with the one you think you will. Dating is all about learning what you like and learning to adapt your thinking to different situations.
Now. . . about those \'zines. We females (and some guys for that matter) read them for a few reasons. One. . .to see all the funny/ebarrassing positions we can get ourselves into, for advice on make up and clothes, and lastly (very lastly) for the sex/ dating advice. The \'zines say guys don\'t notice all the \"signs\" of scoping. I guess they haven\'t been here. I\'m glad I\'ve always been the type of girl who\'d always just walk up to the guy and flirt heavily and have him panting.
Ok, now onto the advice, from a girl\'s point of view.
1.) Do NOT treat us like all you are after is a quick go and then run off.
2.) Most of us love something funny. I like the sand idea. Any girl that you can laugh with is a good deal, cause then all your mistakes/everyday goof ups become easier to deal with through humor.
3.) Don\'t be overeager, cause that makes you look like a stalker, or worse yet, desperate, but don\'t play it too cool, or we think you\'re not interested and we give up.
4.) Smile like you mean it.
5.) FLIRT BACK
6.) If hilarity doesn\'t work, just wait till we go to the bathroom and leave a little something on our beach towel (nothing gross, mind you, just something like an inexpensive watch, or a seashell or a FLOWER) just something that\'ll catch our attention and have your number under it. That makes us wonder who the hell you are so we get interested and call you.
7.) If all else fails, do something super wild and hire a minstrel to follow you around and sing insane songs about you wanting a date. that\'ll catch someone\'s attention. (j/k unless you REALLY want to try it.)
Remember, there is no shame in having a relationship not work. It just helps you learn what you need to work on yourself when the next one comes along.
And Now.. . .back to the show!
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my wife is now playing with my hair...
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*Redmonk takes out his football and aims at tygerwildes girlfriend
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Originally posted by TheRedMonk
tygerwildes girlfriend
Tyger, you got a girlfriend too? 8o
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hehe, only occasionally, with my wife as a chaperone...
don\'t have one now though
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LOL thank god he doesn\'t have one. I\'m all the \"GIRLFRIEND\" you need right now. and I\'m not a girlfriend anyway. i graduated to big girl now. I\'m a WIFE. :))
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btw, kyth here is my wife, Dani
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>.< I crashed just before posting a very long post. Gonna have to start all over again...*sigh*
Anyway, I am definitely going to wait a little before I consider getting married (maybe college or something). I\'ll just go with the flow for now, occasionally using long sticks to prod myself away from crashing onto rocks.
My problem is that I love too much. Not fall in love, because that\'s just a fickle feeling. I mean love in the sense I try to spread peace around.
My last girlfriend left me because I kept trying to draw attention to her anorexia. I noticed she had the eating disorder roughly at the same time that her teachers and parents did, and I suppose all the pressure from all sides made her want to lash out at someone. The way I saw it at the time was that I didin\'t really mind because at least it would ease some of her tension...
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Originally posted by TheRedMonk
Say Ice-cream instead ;)
Hmmm .. can imagine something there, too :D
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This thread has inspired a lyrics search...
Girls - all I really want is girls
And in the morning it\'s girls
Cause in the evening it\'s girls
I like the way that they walk
And it\'s chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile
Back in the day
There was this girl around the way
She liked by home-piece M.C.A.
He said he would not give her play
I asked him, \"Please?\" - he said, \"You may.\"
Her pants were tight and that\'s ok
If she would dance - I would D.J.
We took a walk down to the bay
I hope she\'ll say, \"Hey me and you should hit the
hay!\"
I asked her out - she said, \"No way!\"
I should\'ve probably guess their gay
So I broke North with no delay
I heard she moved real far away
That was two years ago this May
I seen her just the other day
Jockin\' Mike D. to my dismay
Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls - that\'s all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls
I ought to whip out my - girls, girls, girls, girls,girls,
girls, girls, girls, girls!
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Originally posted by Abemore
This thread has inspired a lyrics search...
Girls - all I really want is girls
And in the morning it\'s girls
Cause in the evening it\'s girls
I like the way that they walk
And it\'s chill to hear them talk
And I can always make them smile
From White Castle to the Nile
Back in the day
There was this girl around the way
She liked by home-piece M.C.A.
He said he would not give her play
I asked him, \"Please?\" - he said, \"You may.\"
Her pants were tight and that\'s ok
If she would dance - I would D.J.
We took a walk down to the bay
I hope she\'ll say, \"Hey me and you should hit the
hay!\"
I asked her out - she said, \"No way!\"
I should\'ve probably guess their gay
So I broke North with no delay
I heard she moved real far away
That was two years ago this May
I seen her just the other day
Jockin\' Mike D. to my dismay
Girls - to do the dishes
Girls - to clean up my room
Girls - to do the laundry
Girls - and in the bathroom
Girls - that\'s all I really want is girls
Two at a time - I want girls
With new wave hairdos - I want girls
I ought to whip out my - girls, girls, girls, girls,girls,
girls, girls, girls, girls!
These lyrics have inspired a MIDI search... :D
http://www.j-ws.de/midi-faq/zeichen_b/beastie_boys_-_girls.zip
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Well, today I went to the beach.
There were 2 girls next to us. Nice enough figure, alright face, but...I dunno. Didn\'t feel right for me.
This evening I was at the Theater with my dad. Blood Brothers. Superb show. Anyhow, during intermission I was in the bar area and I kept meeting the eye and smiling at a girl. She looked pretty, and classy. The one reason I did not go over and talk to her was that she ws with her parents. Now I feel bad about it. Then again Blood Brothers is a tragedy, so I might be feeling that too.
Point is this: I\'d be better off looking for girls at the theater or an art gallery than at the beach. Girls wear less tongue-knotting clothes to the theater, too.
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Its true that its not easy to find a classy girl at the beach not because there are none but because theres nothing really classy over a bikini. One good thing with going to the theatre to look for a girl (if you like theater) is that you probably share a common interest. There was lots of given things you could have talked about with that girl like what she thought of the show and stuff like that. You shouldn\'t judge a girl because she hangs out at the beach or at the theatres though. You might very well meet that nice girl from the theatre at the beach tomorrow.
Anyway, I should go to bed now cuz I have a tendency to lose my point when Im tired :D
Good luck and keep on searching! ;)
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Originally posted by karakth
The one reason I did not go over and talk to her was that she ws with her parents.
You could write your cellphone number on a note and give it to her when they don\'t notice ;)
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In my humble experience girls tend to differ hugely from one to the next; there isnt one flawless tactic - all you can really do just be yourself, be confident, try and avoid awkward silences by keeping the conversation flowing, and if you have a sense of humour - use it :P. If you think she is nice after speaking to her(you cant judge a girl soley on looks) smile at her, pay her subtle compliments that are built into the conversation and then ask her if she would like to meet up again; if yes ask for her number.
But then hey dont trust anything I say, I am 18 and have only had two proper girlfriends. But I love Rachel - and I resent you saying love is a fickle feeling X(
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It is the *feeling* of love that is fickle - love can exist without the feeling (primarily caused by phenylethylamine, a drug found in chocolate) but some people confuse the feeling with love, and then they\'re surprised when it goes away.
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Originally posted by dfryer
It is the *feeling* of love that is fickle - love can exist without the feeling (primarily caused by phenylethylamine, a drug found in chocolate) but some people confuse the feeling with love, and then they\'re surprised when it goes away.
so how would one fall out of love, eat less chocolate? :(
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Originally posted by KwartzTheKran
Originally posted by dfryer
It is the *feeling* of love that is fickle - love can exist without the feeling (primarily caused by phenylethylamine, a drug found in chocolate) but some people confuse the feeling with love, and then they\'re surprised when it goes away.
so how would one fall out of love, eat less chocolate? :(
I\'d like to know that too...
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I don\'t eat chocolate anyway, so I don\'t care much :P
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The chemical (phenylethylamine) is why many people crave chocolate after a harsh breakup.
\"Falling out of love\" has little to do with love, IMO, and more to do with coming down off a high. It\'s a good high, but if there\'s nothing of substance in the relationship then there\'s no *love* (er, well, I guess by my definition of love.)
As haddaway once asked, what is love?
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I\'m guessing love is the exact opposite of hatred... At least that\'s how I\'d explain it..
Most of you know the sensation hate can bring up in you, or despair for that matter, try reversing that, and you have your explanation.. less typing for me :D
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heh... indeed, people know what is hatred more than love... that\'s kinda sad ;)
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ok allow me to rephrase it, how do you get rid of the wrenching feeling in the stomach, the tightness in the chest, and the undying feeling of longing.
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Originally posted by Draklar
heh... indeed, people know what is hatred more than love... that\'s kinda sad ;)
People love to hate and hate to love.
Hey, I made one of those idiotic one-line quotes, and I didn\'t even had to pay for some speech-writer to do it!
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ok allow me to rephrase it, how do you get rid of the wrenching feeling in the stomach, the tightness in the chest, and the undying feeling of longing.
Marry her! :D
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Love and hate, like good and evil, can you have one without the other?
Another fun little thoughts:
Hate is not the absince of Love, nor is love teh absince of Hate. Love and Hate are the two sides of the coin of passion. Without Passion you have something more devistating than either love or hate, Apathy. Without passion, love or hate, nothig great is done.
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Passion shmassion.
Passion (that tightness in the chest blah blah blah) is not love. That\'s being in love. Infatuation is experienced by teenagers and when you meet someone new. It inspires passion. But it fades away. You can\'t be \"in love\" with someone forever. You can, however, love them.
To quote my mother (Married):
Being in love is seeing only the good things in a person and ignoring the bad.
Loving a person is recognising both the good and the bad, and accepting them.
I think that one of the most silly things I have ever heard is, \"I think I don\'t have any feelings for you any more.\"
Of course, it is good to remember that infatuation is good and should be enjoyed, but a relationship based on infatuation alone is a weak thing. Of course, if you spend your entire life switching partners because your feelings change, do not expect anything different when \"the one\" comes along and the infatuation lasts long enough to get you married.
Love is something which a person should have for everyone. I personally try to love everyone (but sometimes n00bs get on my nerves and I hulk out :P ). When infatuation couples love, a solid relationship is born.
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Originally posted by Socrates Demise
Love and Hate are the two sides of the coin of passion.
Not really.
If it\'s two sides of the same coin, there wouldn\'t be \'love-hate\' toward things.
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very wise words, karakth.. You seem have a better understanding of how things work than many a guy I\'ve shook hands with..
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karakth: cant be \'in love\' forever, but its 8 years and counting which is enough to convince me at least theres something more.
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Of course some infatuation lasts, but the peak of being infatuated is at the beginning of a relationship. Of course, a relationship without infatuation is just...boring.
And by the way, I do not speak from personal experience. I observe, listen, and evaluate.
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man, sounds like you haven\'t got a romantic bone in your body.
my grandparents(on my dads side) were in love with one another to their deaths. my grandfather died a long and painful death, and my grandmother was there, every day, holding his hand in his deathbed. when he finally went, though her health was perfect, she didn\'t last a week afterwords. she went quietly in her sleep one night. the county examiner said her pillow was wet with tears.
they were in love forever. still as infatuated as when they met. I can only hope that me and Dani will be that way in the end.
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I don\'t think karakth is saying that love should be devoid of romance, only that romance doesn\'t necessarily imply love.
The two go much better hand in hand.
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Unfortunately relations tend to get worse in the long run. Human just isn\'t build to be completely monogumous (if that word is spelled incorrect dont lough). In fact i think staying with one person the rest for your life is very unnatural.
Fortunately there are exceptions who can somehow keep the romance alive in the relation.
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Originally posted by TheTaintedSoul
Human just isn\'t build to be completely monogumous (if that word is spelled incorrect dont lough). In fact i think staying with one person the rest for your life is very unnatural.
True.
As dfryer said, love is a reaction to a natural drug.
When you get a boost of this drug you get euphoric, and feel \'inlove\'.
After a while your body is used to this and you\'re not euphoric anymore. To stay \'inlove\' you have to increase the dosage of the drug all the time (like junkies do).
That\'s why long-term relationships aren\'t meant to work. You just can\'t stay inlove with the person for a long time.
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Who says that being inlove is better than just loving? Tyger told us about his grandparents who loved eachother until death separated them...a proof that a relationship really can work for a long time.
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It\'s not that long-term relationships -can\'t- work. They can, but it\'s cheating.
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well you don\'t have to be in love with a person to feel comforted by him/her.. I know many people who\'ve been with someone for year and years, even married a person they couldn\'t honestly say they were in love with...
People now adays are what a famous danish writer once called \"Tryghedsnarkomaner\" which means something along the lines of \"comfort-oholics\".. Something I totally agree with the writer on..
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Comfort-oholics...More like pleasure-oholics. The modern philosophy is that if something stops pleasing you, you throw it away and get a new one instead of trying to fix it.
Example: A chair breaks. You replace it, not fix it.
Unfortunately this mentality has extended also into relationships. People, at my age, enter a relationship for pleasure, for the high they get. When a partner stops giving them that high, they move on. Some people never grow up, and keep constantly seeking the love high.
About the grandparents. They grew up with a philosophy \"If something is broken, fix it.\" They had to, because not everything was mass-produced back then. So when their marriage found snags and problems, they tried to fix them instead of replacing the marriage. This in turn brought them closer together. I do not believe that their relationship was the same as it had been when they had first met; It was probably more mature, more understanding, deeper, and more profound.
And I can be very romantic (it comes natural to me, seeing as what I learnt of relationships came mostly from watching shows like saved by the bell and listening to sappy love songs), but I will not give up on a relationship if the romance goes away.
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Certain incidents in modern society might point towards your points karakth, although that\'s not how I see it going along here in my cozy part of the world :)
People stick together for the comfort, heck I even did a while back, untill I felt that the relationship was going absolutely nowhere.. I haven\'t been in it for the pleasure for quite some time.. nor have many of my long time friends.. but I guess that\'s different from place to place, if you live in a dump like me, modern mentality hasn\'t quite cought up with relationships around here yet..
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And how about me and Dani? We grew up in the pleasure generation. We have raging arguements all the time, we have since the beginning, yet instead of throwing in the towel, we go back and patch things up when the dust settles. My wife means more to me than my pride, my comfort, or even pleasure. If my children are my world, then my wife is the galaxy. she encompasses every thing that I do, and I don\'t see that changing any time soon. yes, I am \"In Love\" with her. Not only do I care for her, but I know that I couldn\'t live without her. Not the way I do now. I would lose every ounce of passion that I have for life. all of the things that I actually enjoy doing right now would mean nothing to me, I would be cold inside.
if we grew up with the \"get a new one\" mentality, why would we work so hard on our relationship? why would I care as much as I do.
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It depends on how you were brought up I suppose. And man, you are very lucky. I want to have all that someday (reason for this thread). I know that feeling, but only to my parents and brother, not a girlfriend. :(
Let me ask you something though: Is the infatuation you feel for your wife still as great as the few weeks after you started going out?
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Originally posted by karakth
Let me ask you something though: Is the infatuation you feel for your wife still as great as the few weeks after you started going out?
Good question, id like to know that too.
Oh and i didn\'t mean the inlove feeling that would get worse, that in fact fades after about 3-4 years. If the relationship survives that, and the love you have changes then the relationship was serious.
But even relationships that survive get worse in the long run in general. It has even been proved. In fact the non pleasure generations also faced this problem.
With people who did remain together and kept the relationship well it was found that they kept the romance alive. And like the grandparents of Karakth fixed the problems.
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From my own experience I know that a relationship cannot last if you expect it to be as fun all the time. I\'ve had several girlfriends but I\'ve never been with one for more than a month just because of this. I want it to be as fun after a month that it is during the first days and I dunno if thats really possible...what do you think?
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personally, yes, I feel that the infatuation I felt for her in the beginning is just as strong as ever, I feel the need just to be by her side every day of my life. it\'s like an obsession, but in a good way.
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read this thing just today and find it very interesting how it has changed since the original post
karakth, about what you said regarding to parents and brother you have lived with them all your life and despite arguments and the like are basically forced to get over it because you cant really do any about it and they are permanent. But with girlfriends they dont have that quality, you can get rid of them and many chose to when it gets rough and your not forced to patch up your diferances. also this may or may not help but i am the same age as you said you were
*on a lighter note im suprised you say you have anything more than annoyance and toleration for your brother at your age but maybe its just me dealing with 2 of them
ps- tyger you should show your wife that speech you gave on your next fight
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Ooooo! Tah discussion about ancient evil still continues. I see..
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Sadly, I\'m more in tune with hatred and the pain from loving and being left for another man... the feeling love isn\'t all that people say it is... it\'s more pain than it\'s worth. And if the girl feels at all wrong, don\'t allow yourself to commit to ANYTHING. Personal advice from a broken man who\'s been there before.
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Nah, I love my brother and parents. If ever we do fight, it never lasts longer than half a day and usually it\'s me annoying him, not the other way around :P
This was my point. If you\'re simply living with someone, you have the option to leave. After all, you\'re just testing the waters, no? In marriage, you cannot leave. You have to stick to whoever you\'re with, unless there\'s devorce in the country which then is just wrong.
A shame about what happened Tarneth. But you should just pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Try and find out why she left you, and see if it is something that maybe you need to change about yourself.
Also. As to my first post, I\'ve found a girl. Sort of. I\'m meeting a girl on weekends and I\'m soon going on a sailing trip with another girl for two weeks. We\'ll be on seperate boats and our families will be there, though. Ah and another thing: she\'s two years younger than me (14). So I\'ve decided I just want to be friends with her. Then again she might be only a year younger than me (It\'s all a matter of birthdays) so...No, just friends. This is so confusing >.<
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Sadly, I\'m more in tune with hatred and the pain from loving and being left for another man... the feeling love isn\'t all that people say it is... it\'s more pain than it\'s worth. And if the girl feels at all wrong, don\'t allow yourself to commit to ANYTHING. Personal advice from a broken man who\'s been there before.
Read this http://www.lyricsfreak.com/s/simon-and-garfunkel/124809.html ...even though its hard to be left by a girl you love, you shouldnt let that stop you from giving other girls a chance.
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Karakth i really think youre making it way to hard for yourself. That girl is 2 years younger... so what! At that age girls are usually more mature then boys and the difference in age is not that big.
Also im curious/fascinated about your comment on divorce. What is wrong with breaking up a marriage if the love is gone? If you don\'t all you do is keeping up appearances of something that is long gone and dead. And don\'t forget marriage is an artificial institute after all.
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Well if you look at it as an artificial institute...I look at it as a sacred institute. Love is not a feeling, it\'s a decision. If you cannot love someone forever, you have no backbone. The feeling of being \"in love\" can fade. But if love is present, it does not fade. And I love everyone (o/ Or try to anyway :)
As for that girl...Well, I\'ll just go with the flow and see what happens (after setting boundaries for myself of course).
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I strongly doubt that you will love us forever :D
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Originally posted by karakth
Well if you look at it as an artificial institute...I look at it as a sacred institute. Love is not a feeling, it\'s a decision. If you cannot love someone forever, you have no backbone.
Then thats a difference in background i guess. I just hope you won\'t be dissapointed in the future and get what you hope for. :)
As for that girl...Well, I\'ll just go with the flow and see what happens (after setting boundaries for myself of course).
Thats a good thing, to wait and see what happen, not expecting something to happen. As long as you don\'t limit yourself to much you can have a enjoying time with the girl or even fall in love, either way its okay.
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LOL This is great!
BTW I\'m sending both my daughters away for the summer and not telling where.
If they ever come home with a gamer, the blood on the lawn won\'t be pixels. J/K
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Originally posted by karakth
Well if you look at it as an artificial institute...I look at it as a sacred institute. Love is not a feeling, it\'s a decision. If you cannot love someone forever, you have no backbone. The feeling of being \"in love\" can fade. But if love is present, it does not fade. And I love everyone (o/ Or try to anyway :)
As for that girl...Well, I\'ll just go with the flow and see what happens (after setting boundaries for myself of course).
Your wise beyond your age Kar. The only advise I toss in-- is to find yourself before you try and find a soulmate, and don\'t settle for someone who does not share your values.
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Originally posted by derwoodly
The only advise I toss in-- is to find yourself before you try and find a soulmate
Unfortunately easier said then done :(.
* is still looking himself (meaning spends too much time behind computer) *
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[13:26] And how do you greet an intelligent girl you don\'t know anyway?
[13:27] /greet
[13:27] lol you nerds
Hahahaha, I almost fell out of my chair there.
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+++Update+++
It was not decided about whether or not the other family will be coming with us. The parents were all for it, but the children weren\'t sure because they didn\'t really know us.
So today we went together with our boats, to get to know each other. Naturally it was my job to socialise with the kids. The children were as follows:
Girl of 14 (She is only a year younger than me, not two.)
Boy of 12
Girl of 8
First I went snorkeling with the youngest two. At first we didn\'t have any proper conversations but pretty soon we were all diving and pointing out interesting shells/fish/etc.
The older girl did not come swimming. I questioned the youngest girl about it and it resulted in a rather sweet conversation:
Me: Doesn\'t your sister like swimming?
Her: No, the water is to cold for her.
Me: Ah.
-Small pause of about 2 seconds-
Her: My sister is pretty isn\'t she?
Me: *Nod*
Her: If I was a boy, and I wasn\'t her brother, I\'d definitely like her.
The honesty of the young is such a beautiful thing, isn\'t it?
Then we all went to play articulate. The older girl had been rather distant for all this time, but as soon as we started playing the game, she was laughing and enjoying herself greatly.
I suppose I got on best with the youngest one (I always seem to get on well with younger children, possibly because I have as much energy as they do). The boy seemed to like me and accept me as a friend (he seemed impressed by how long I could hold my breath, how deep I could dive, etc). And the eldest girl... Well, I caught her eye a few times.
Hopefully the children will change their minds and come on a three week boat trip willingly. I\'ve decided to be a little \"cool\" with the girl, to avoid things getting messy (i.e. Any of the other siblings thinking that I spend too much time with her, etc).
As to finding myself, I have. I know who I am and I like it. There are certain flawsin my personality which I am working on changing, because I also know who I want myself to be when I finally stop developing.
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lame.
all this girls crap is too troublesome and it makes my head hurt.
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sigh mel gibson has all the luck he can read their minds !
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I was going to speak, but then my rant senses got tingling, and so I decided not to. Thought, I am posting, which means that I might as well rant.
Anyway, turns out biological love has a duration of about 3-4 years, after that we become used the pheramones and that wonderful high ends. So the answer? Change cologne... They\'ve actually done studies on this, and there are times when one person wears a certain cologne, or perfume and when that perfume changes, the other person becomes less attracted, or not attracted at all.
Anyway as for love, I can tell you that it\'s a hell of a strange beast. I\'m fairly young, 21, I\'ve been in a relationship for 4 years, or almost anyway. Turns out, there\'s a lot of pain, but the good times usually wash it away.
As to the comment of, why should you not end a marriage when you no longer love someone, well because the modern definition of love has nothing to do with what it ment tradionally, and we aren\'t better for forgetting what it ment. I mean there is a certain thing about partnership that both people involved have to understand. And the being in it for the long haul. Strangely enough I was NOT brought up religious, I don\'t think there is anything sacred about marriage, however, I find loyality often sounds like the same thing.
Anyway, enough ranting, good luck with the chickas karakth.
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Karakth I\'m not trying to put you down or anything but you are not that old, you haven\'t been in a \"serious relationship\" where you think you love someone and then it breaks up. It seems to me like your really against those but they are very important in life as they teach us many things about ourselves and about people. You may think you know who you are and who you want to be but until you\'ve been in a relationship like this you \"have not fully developed\" I guess you could say...
Now I\'m not putting down what you believe or am I saying that what you think is wrong or, even though it sounds like it, you don\'t know yourself but there are a lot of life\'s little experiences and lessons out there that will shape who you are and your life. I am not that much older then you and I\'ve been in two relationships that I consider serious. They were absolutely amazing even though they never worked out. Each girl I was with taught me something new about myself and helped me start to become the person I want to be, they taught me new ways of looking at life and at people, they taught me about different feelings and my strengths and weaknesses and I can honestly say I do still love them and if they every needed me I would be there as soon as I could. I know that I am still not complete, that there is much more in life for me to learn and this will shape who I become, I also know some of these things will come from relationships where I think I am in love but I really am not. I know I will get hurt but that is something I am willing to live with and get over on my journey of life. I\'m just saying that with every relationship there is a lesson no matter how big or small. I\'m not saying jump into as many relationships as possible so you can learn all these lessons, but that you should actually try a couple.
And you comment on divorce... I understand the whole \"this is broken we need to fix it\" because I do that all the time and it usually ends with me getting my heart broken, but I also know that if I am not happy in what I am doing and that this can bring down me and what I want in life that I have to cut my losses and move on. Sure I would love to work out the relationship but if it can\'t be worked out, and yes some things can\'t be worked out, then you have to move on. You may think something is wrong, they may not. What will you do then? If I offended you in any of this I didn\'t mean it and it\'s early for me so if this makes no sense then sorry.
Go out, have fun, meet girls, have relationships, learn things about yourself and about people and the world and the ups and downs.
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The way I\'ve always been towards girls is that there is a place for them in some guy\'s lives but not mine. I have plans (namely, I plan to join the millitary, start my own bussiness, travel the world, and go to Mars. now whether all these things happen is still up for grabs but thats my goal) and girls don\'t realy fit those plans. I am not gona say whether or not there is anything wrong with dating because thats somthing that every person has to decide for themselves. I\'ve just not found it to fit in with my life so I have not engaged in it for that reason. I also have always thought it was rather ridiculous to get into a relationship that was probably not gona work anyway but again thats just personal bias. I would be less than honest to say that I\'ve not noticed gilrs through my life, but I\'ve always managed to keep the relationship on either a proffesional, or just freinds basis. If I ever meet the girl then I would\'nt be adverse to more than just freindship but I have other things to do till then, and wasting my time with girls that wont work out, and will only take away from time I could be planing my life, is not somthing I\'m gona do now. BTW I\'m 16 for those of you who are interested.
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Here\'s signs of a lasting relationship-
I changed it so it\'s easier to read but its from the H. Norman Wright, Permarital Counseling, rev. ed. 23
A. Adaptability and flexibility: the abiloity and willingness of persons to adjust to change, to accept differences in a partner, and to adapt if necessary. This trait allows people to consider the differeneces, evaulate them, propse alternative solutions, and thren resolves them.
B.) Empathy: A sensitvity to the hurts and needs of others and a willing attempt to see and experience the world from the other person\'s perspective.
C.) Ability to work through problems: The recogoniction of emotions and a willingness to defint he issues and work toward solutions.
D.) Ability to give and recieve love (emotionally): Duh! I need not explain this
E.) Emotional Stability: accepting one\'s emotions, controlling them, and expressing them without tearing down another person.
F.) Communication Ability: learning to talk frequently to one antoher about a wide range of subjects, to convey the feeling that one understands and is sensitive to the other, to keep communication opportunities open, and to express oneself personally, clearly, and at times nonverbally.
G.) Commitment: the willingness to ueiled oneseld to a lifetime of adventure including, risks, joys, and sorrows, plus a commitment to work together even when difficulties, obstacles, and challenges interfere with a smooth relationship.
Essential Similiarities<------------------------------
Intelligence: Not really who smart the person is but intellectually intuned they are.
Values: Have the same family or spiritual values (if you believe in a religion).
Intimacy: Here we refer to the Verbal , nonsexual variety
intimacy. When both people deeply enjoy being intimate with each other and sharing their lives fully, they have an asset that will help them overcome difference throughout their lives.
Interests: Duh! I need not also explain this more
Expectations and roles: Both partners have compatible ideas about their duties and responsibilities in the realationship and household.
BIGGEST MISTAKE MEN MAKE<-------------------------
1.)He doesn\'t listen, gets easily distracted, doesn\'t ask interested or concerned questions.
2.)He takes her feelings literally and corrects her. He thinks she is asking for solutions, so he gives advice.
3.)He minimizes the importance of her feelings and needs.
4.) He listend but then gets angry and blames her for upsetting him or for bringing him down.
5.) When she is upset, he explains why he is right and why she should not be so upset.
6.) After listening he says nothing or just walks away.
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Not to go women bashing, but women make mistakes too, contrary to popular belief. Not only that, but it\'s also the ability to recognize when you f***ed up and act accordingly, applies both to women and men. So that list is not exclusive to men or women. That I think is the biggest mistake that can be made. No one is innocent, ever.
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You guy\'s sure have a lot to say about dating lol. I\'m almost glad I don\'t have a girlfreind as complicated as you guys make it sound.
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ahh, don\'t almost be glad you don\'t have a girlfriend. I mean spending the rest of your life by yourself...well ehh doesn\'t seem really pleasant. I mean of course you can get a pet or something but, I think companionship with someone that your romantically attracted to is good.
And yes the list I posted refers to both. I actually have a women\'s biggest mistake list, but the post was long enough.
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Oh I wont spend my life by myself. I have my wonderful computer to keep me company lol. Seriously though I know that one day I probably will find a girls but for now I\'m pretty happy the way I am
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Oh nah I\'ve been in relationships. Quite a few actually. I\'ve always gone from falling in love to actually loving and then getting my heart broken. I suppose I would describe all my relationships as being \"wrong place, wrong time.\" I know that had they come in a different order, I\'d be able to make them work. Ah well, each one of them has taught me something or other. I have not resigned myself to not trying relationships, it\'s just that...Well, if it was really meant to be, it cannot be. As in, if I meet a girl I can potentially spend the rest of my life with now, it will be impossible because of school, etc.
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I know exactly what you mean. Thats one reason why I try not to get into a relationship. I realy don\'t want to have to deal with the heartbreak, or any of the other problems that can arise.
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Repeated often in the \"Song of Solomon\" (a peice of love poetry in the bible):
\"Do not awaken love before it pleases\"
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That definantly fits me
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umm wth how do u start a conversation with a girl....... u mean ur a 15 year old guy and u havent..........=P (sry i picked on u)
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Haven\'t what? Engaged in witty banter?
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From one who is happily engaged, I have to agree with Kuiper\'s list of things guys do. I also have to say that opening up my life and hart to my fiancee is almost the smartest, most enjoyable things I\'ve ever done. I\'ve made all of those mistakes before, and I\'ve read piles of those premarital counseling books. They really do have good things to say, I would recomend them heartily.
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Do u ever think about \"What if we get diviced when where married\"? i mean wut would that be good or bad?
on one hand u c urself married
on the other ur thinking of divorce already
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Girls mmm what to say about girls....lets break it down so far in my relationships :P Won\'t give names just numbers starting say when I was 16! (Serious relations only)
#1: She was hot as hell but dumb as a post, her good looks could drag her as far as the bed in life and then there was no more for her.
#2: Look to #1.
#3: Not extremely hot but kinky in her own way, nice personality and funny! Smart in school, fun to be with...but has a extreme case of PMS all to often. Never thought her past boyfriends treated her special enough and she told me that as well and I dumped her :P
#4: Look to #1.
#5: Really good looking, funny, extremely smart in school, well off in life money wise. Had a job and recently quit it for no reason, now expects me to pay for everything. Claims we should do more stuff with me paying knowing that i am on a budget because i live on my own in a apartment with car payments!
Now my opinion on women is once in a blue moon you will find the right one for you the rest are just good in bed :P If you are old enough to be doing the naughty-naughty!
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the rest are just good in bed
well, sometimes not even that, believe me... ;)
I personally think that there is no perfect woman (or man). you always have to arrange yourself, respect some stuff that you don\'t like about her, talk about the rest... it is and always will be the good old give and take thing...
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you forgot the ass. and the tits to :)
damn im lonely
andd online relationships are retarded lol
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uuuggggghhhhhh.... dont do nothing.... just consitrate on school work and get lucky, dont talk stupid, and dont talk about anything stupid.......
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speaking of asses and tits have any of you herd the ass and tity song.......wow thats funny
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Fesfes, stay on topic :rolleyes:
Anyway, yeah meeting the \"right person\" is partially a myth. As for give and take, you should not take at all unless it is absolutely necessary. If both of you are giving all the time, you\'ll be happy, right?
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I think I\'ll just stick with good old faithful Dell. It does what I want when I want (most of the time)and I don\'t have to change for it. Instead it has to do what I want it to do and if I get mad at it I can beat it up without getting sent to jail or having it leave me. I can change it at anytime so that if I get tired of one of its faces..... poof..... a whole new look with just the click of a button and any money I spend on it will not be wasted unlike in a girlfreind/boyfreind relationship.
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ummm.... dont ask me, in Canada we don\'t have beaches, well we do but rock beaches by the raging below zero rivers of the Great White north... lol jk we crazy canadians have beaches
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i0i0i0i, this is a pretty funny thread....... asking for advice online.....i0i that skool i guess..
best way is to b yourself, i have no problem talkin to girls and gettin to know them better....
and if you get rejected b/c of who you are.... then she was just not meant to be.... have fun i gues
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Mastarron is right. Also don\'t try to force anything, let it go at her own pace if she wants a relationship. You ever get the feeling that the more you push the more she seems to push away?
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Jep, kuiper and Mastarron, you\'re right!
There\'s nothing worse than showing that you are totally in love with her too early. at least in my experience the chances for a relationship are much higher if you block sometimes a little bit as well. She gets the feeling that she will need to \"fight\" for you as well, which makes you something special.
Cause guys that tell her how beautifull she is and that he\'s totally in love and stuff is something she hears every evening when she goes to a bar. i have quite a few female friends and they are all complaining that they can\'t just go out and have fun without at least 3 guys trying to get them around.
Or in other words: think of a girl, thats runs after you all the time, telling you you are the greatest and stuff. would you fall in love with her? i\'d say no! cause you\'re lacking the challenge to get her!
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True.
Don\'t get me wrong, I\'m not some puppy-eyed drooling moron, and I have learned how to \"keep back.\" (Heh, my favorite \"weapon\" is being the mysterious shy type ;) ).
I -do- find it easy to talk to girls and get to know them, but only if we\'ve been introduced before. Otherwise, it\'s just crappy pickup lines all the way. Which sucks.
Although...I\'m turned on by romance way too much, I think. I find sitting beside a girl and looking into her eyes and smiling and stuff more attractive than, for example, a one night stand.
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I can only talk to girls online not IRL very well. I just never know what to say.
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Online environments are very non-threatening, which is why they\'ve presented such a danger to established relationships, in that it\'s easier to slip into \"disloyalty\" on-line before it becomes a reality. It\'s also a problem for kids who trust the advice of someone who might not be who or what they say they are...
On the much more positive side, this allows people who ordinarily wouldn\'t \"get out much\" to have a lot more social interaction, which raises your XP. Uh.. I mean... builds character.
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Although...I\'m turned on by romance way too much, I think. I find sitting beside a girl and looking into her eyes and smiling and stuff more attractive than, for example, a one night stand.
well, its the same for me! :) and at least i don\'t think it\'s too romantic, it\'s just right :D
@cryha: you gotta try to relax and be yourself! sounds easy, works hard..i know ;)