PlaneShift
Fan Area => The Hydlaa Plaza => Topic started by: tygerwilde on May 31, 2004, 01:26:06 pm
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you know, I\'ve been planning something with my wife for weeks, but the fact is, I\'m just now beginning to really think about this...
first off, there\'s good news and bad news. the good news is... my wifes step father just died.
I know, I know, that\'s not something most people would be celebrating... but you would if you knew the guy. the bastard spent years torturing and abusing the woman I love. she joined the military to get away from him. then later he wouldn\'t allow dani to visit her own mother.
the thing that\'s really just now sinking in is the fact that I\'ve let my wife talk me into visiting her mom in maine next year. I\'ve talked about it before. but I\'ve not really spent much time thinking about it. we\'ll be living in her house for a month and a half without a computer (yes, I tried to get my wife to let me take it...) or internet service. we\'ll be out in the woods in one of the most humid states in america...(dani likes to tell me the seasons in maine are mud, wet and snow)
I\'m gettin a little unhappy about the idea...
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Wow... A month and a half without a computer, and nothing fun to distract you from it?...
Peanut...
Maybe there are Internet Cafes in the area? These things aren\'t very cheap, but it\'s one and a half months! 1.5! 6 weeks! 42 days!
1008 hours of total boredom!
Peanut...
Is she trying to test you or something?
Oh, wait, I know how you can evade it!
You got asthma! A humid place might make it worse! Tell her \"I\'d really want to be with you and your mom in a shack in the woods with mud and no comps for a month and a half, but... You see... It\'s the asthma... So... I\'ll stay here and watch over the house and comp and stuff...\"
;)
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heh, tried somethin like that... didn\'t work, \"all the tree\'s are pine love, you\'re not allergic to those...\"
anyway, she\'s letting me take my PS2, I\'ll have san andreas by then, I should come back half sane...
on the upside, New York is only a six hour drive from there. someplace to buy new games
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Try to make the best of it, tyger... As hard as it sometimes is to fathom, RL can be a fun game sometimes too, as I\'m sure you know =)
Here\'s wishing you a good trip, without too much boredom..
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Originally posted by tygerwilde
anyway, she\'s letting me take my PS2, I\'ll have san andreas by then
Doing absolutely nothing but playing San Andreas for a month and a half?!
Can I come? Pleeeeeeeease? :P
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lol, there\'s only one game I like to play irl, and that involves a bed and a wifey...
yeah, saint, you could come by if you bring munchies and your own ps2! :p
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Originally posted by tygerwilde
lol, there\'s only one game I like to play irl, and that involves a bed and a wifey...
lol...
What about that other real life game they brought out? Alcohol I think they called it - man thats a game an a half...
And if there are no offlicences near by i think they just released patch 3.2 of Step Mother Murder :P ;) (incase your wife reads this - since she is registered on the forums - it was a joke, im sorry, please dont kill me?)
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meh, the mother in law isn\'t bad, it was the mother in laws husband that needed murdering.
and alcohol, I\'ve never been much on the stuff. and it\'s euthanizing effects have never worked on me. one time, some friends and I decided we were going to get drunk for thanksgiving. I downed a fifth of vodka, a fifth of tequila, a fifth of black velvet, some smaller bottles of: three kinds of pucker, vanilla schnapps, peppermint schnapps, buttershots, and this other clear stuff without a label. the only difference I felt was this slight blush across my cheeks...
it was funny too, my friends tried to tell me \"after you drink this glass of black velvet and dr pepper, you won\'t be able to walk across the room.\" after drinking all of that stuff I was still able to cross the room. I did feel a little sick to the stomach though. lots of liquid in my belly without any food.
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Some people are able to have more alcohol in their blood without experiencing it\'s toxic effects.. :P
often proportional with ones size, and how often one drinks..
but hey, alcohol\'s dangerous, stick to drugs :P
nah, j/k :))
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A person addicted to being on the internet and not getting to for so long can be deadly :P Good luck!
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It might be painful, but it\'s good to take a break, especially if the time can be used to build relationships (and yes, I know that doesn\'t *always* work).
I think internet addiction *is* a real problem- occasionally there\'s been internet outages and I was practically shaking. That\'s Bad.
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Originally posted by Zephyrus
What about that other real life game they brought out? Alcohol I think they called it - man thats a game an a half...
Drinking alone? What\'s the fun in that?
Originally posted by DepthBlade
A person addicted to being on the internet and not getting to for so long can be deadly :P
Originally posted by dfryer
I think internet addiction *is* a real problem- occasionally there\'s been internet outages and I was practically shaking. That\'s Bad.
It\'s not a problem as long as you got something to do.
I don\'t have a problem to go to vacations and stuff with my family, as long as it\'s not boring.
He\'ll just play SA and finish it 4 times...
When I got VC I finished it 5 times in a row :rolleyes:
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So why exactly aren\'t you allowed internet and a computer? Then again you could try installing Linux on your PS2 and connecting it to the phones there. Uh...Or not.
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okay, this may sounds really weird coming from a computer addicted person.
Take the time off, when i\'m on vacation, i don\'t miss my comp, i have fun with other stuff that i otherwise wouldn\'t do.
It is good to go to the woods, go build your own shack.
Create a campfire and burn off the forest.
Roast marshmellows, and get blisters in your mouth.
Have all the funs of the open air.
Go train on your survival skills or sumthing, that could be fun.
And well, if that won\'t work, shoot the old woman and go home.
tell the officers you heard a cry of an animal and you wanted to shoot it and well uhhh you accidentilly shot her.
It works in the movies.
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get some quality time in with your wifey. Trust me you can use it later to your advantage. Like \"honey I\'m gonna go out with the boys tonight\" or \"honey I need some lovin\'\" :D
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hehe, while all suggestions have their merits. I haven\'t enjoyed being in the woods in a long time. It kinda lost it\'s flavor back when I was a boy scout. me and the wife spend quality time together all the time, hell, we lay together every night, talking till 2 or three in the morning. we can\'t take a computer because there would be no room for it, and it would cost extra to ship it there and back. Her brother will have the internet connection, but he\'s not the kind of guy to let people surf on his computer. I can\'t blame him for that though, because quite frankly, I don\'t like it when friends come over and use mine. yes, I\'ll most likely spend a lot of time on GTA, or some other PS2 game.
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Originally posted by tygerwilde
I should come back half sane...
I don\'t think you realise the truthfulness behind that. There are certain things that certain people enjoy so much, that it literally keeps them sane as their sources of enternainment. If that thing or things dissapear for a prolonged period of time, one could become so bored to the point where they undergo mental stress and could lead to insanity. I\'m not making that up or trying to be funny, I read that in one of them psychology books. Kinda scary...
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Sounds reasonable enough, although I\'m not one to go out and test it.. We\'ll see if Tyger makes it ;)
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see, you seem a little confused, I\'m already crazy, I\'m afraid of the return trip to sanity.
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who says you\'re not sane already, and the place you\'re headed is insanity?
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hehe, don\'t you know I\'m certifiable??? have been since I was eight. all I\'d have to do is admit to the doctors that I\'ve had suicidal thoughts and I could recieve disability checks for depression. they\'ve talked about hospitalising me a couple of times.
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You concidered suiciding when you were eight?!
No way...
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holely cow ! you sucide 8 ? when your eight you dont even know the diff \'tween what makes a man a man and a woman a woman (unless your forced to watch discovery channel all day :P )
man we should make you a hounourabrly membar at cabal so we got a \"REAL\" mad man in cabal :D
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Originally posted by tygerwilde
hehe, don\'t you know I\'m certifiable??? have been since I was eight. all I\'d have to do is admit to the doctors that I\'ve had suicidal thoughts and I could recieve disability checks for depression. they\'ve talked about hospitalising me a couple of times.
How the hell was I supposed to know that? :P Anyhow, I\'m sorry to hear that.. I\'ve had my share of suicidal thoughts, although they were loosely based on taking other people with me beyond life.. but let\'s not get into such matters..
What matters is, that you \"survive\" the trip, and hopefully return as the same guy you were before.. although I\'ve never been known to give the impression that change is bad for a guy..
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meh, it\'s a matter of genetics, my brother is depressed and suffers from agorophobia, my dad and grandad suffered from it, most of my male cousins and a few female cousins suffer from it. it\'s terrible, you feel bad and in most cases don\'t even know why you feel bad.
mine was also reinforced by abuse at school. I wasn\'t just one of those kids that was teased. I was taller than everyone in the grade ahead of mine, I was fat, I was smart, and I was learning disabled, so some of the things I said were a little stupid. I was the one EVERYBODY gave s**t to, I was maltreated by the kids that the bullies picked on. If I wasn\'t teased about being fat, somehow I was the stupid one. Kids would torment me for being stupid, then turn around and beat me for being the nerd.
at eight that led me to feeling depressed.
At nine, I found one person who liked me, and yes, as early as nine I started dating. she liked to hang out with me, and we had serious conversations. we were both mentally advanced children and could talk about things like electronics, biology, that kind of thing. when she moved to New York with her mother, I was crushed.
A little over ten years old, I had my first thought of suicide. The only thing that\'s kept me from commiting to it all these years is the thought of the one\'s who do care about me. I imagine what they would feel and it brings me back over the edge.
I don\'t tell my counselors because I\'m afraid they would commit me to a ward for my safety.
but that\'s in the past, I\'ve got a good life now, and I haven\'t had a suicidal thought in almost a year and a half. they used to come every few weeks. the depression is still strong, but I know in my mind that it\'s just a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes a misfiring in the emotional center. I feel sad constantly, but I try to feel happiness as well.
the point is though, if I were to put any less effort into staying balanced, I could literally be certified \"mentally imbalanced\" and be a nutcase.
BTW, sorry for the long, off topic post. I just feel the need to explain a bit, you guys are some of my closer freinds after all.
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Kids are pure evil.. And worst part is, they do know what they\'re doing when they\'re treating others that way.. Some kids are better then that, but I\'m not going to sit here telling you I\'m sorry for their actions..
I know I\'m no one to tell you this, but people are fools.. All of them, all of you, all of us! (yes I\'m human too...)
Thanks for the explanation, tyger man, I\'m on your side till the end bro! (like it or not, my deranged favor is not easily brushed aside :P)
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Nothing wrong with a long post, so long as it\'s interesting. Yes, yours was ineresting.
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Well why don\'t you tell your councilors so that they can give you chemicals to rebalance you?
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Originally posted by karakth
Well why don\'t you tell your councilors so that they can give you chemicals to rebalance you?
Indeed, why not? Of course you have to be carefull with chemicals effecting your brain but in your case it could be usefull.
Pretty impressive tyger, makes my problems look small in comparison. And that you trust this community enough to post says alot :).
Also i understand why in your family violence = love ;)
Oh and im pretty sure you can find fun things to do :). Like living out the rpg fantasy irl there :D. Come to think of it, perhaps we should all go there and keep you company :D. Then we can play elves and stuff. Yes im pretty sure your wife wont ask you again then to come with her ;)
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My second oldest sister is suicidal..Atleast once a week she feels the need to cut herself or bang her head up against the wall until she goes unconcious..My mom tried to get her help but she threatens to run away and never see my mom again and probally still kill herself. That freaks my mom out and now she won\'t do anything! Well soon I will commit her myself...she is running out of places to cut herself thats for sure...The only reason she does this is because she thinks she is fat when she weighs a whopping 140 pounds??
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thanks for all the positive feedback, all of you.
Yes, I trust this community pretty well. I\'ve known most of you for quite a while now, and while often opinions are different on these boards, I can say that most of you are nice people on the inside and intelectually worth more in your weight in salt as the saying goes. moral values are strong on these boards.
I\'ve tried chemical means before, Trazodone gives me hallucinations, actually waking dreams, I would dream at night and wake up still dreaming. Zoloft makes me anxious and jittery, the medicine that they gave me for the anxiety weakened my immune system and gave me infections... most of the other things they\'ve tried do nothing at all or have had some kind of bad side effect...
The problem isn\'t that I havent told the councellors about my depression, I just haven\'t told them about suicidal thoughts. they\'ve tried probably a dozen different types of drugs.
Depth, I\'ve never actually tried to commit suicide, just had the urges. but I\'ve studied enough to know a few things about it.
the majority of people who make multiple attempts on their own lives are faking it. they don\'t actually want to kill themselves, but they lavish in the attentions they get from adults who know about the behavior. this doesn\'t make the actions any less destructive. When one makes a public attempt on one\'s own life, it affects everyone who knows them. people around them are torn with emotions. it also affects their future. no one can really trust someone who has tried to kill themselves, if a person doesn\'t feel their own life matters, they might decide to end someone elses as a means of making more of an impact on the world around them.
many people disclaim this saying that it\'s just speculation, yet, if everyone who attempted suicide really meant it, the population of the world would be MUCH lower than it is.
however, every now and then someone comes along who does want to end their lives, yet is either inept or is actually as afraid of death so much that their attempts to kill themselves fail.
either way, yes, your sister needs help. in the first case, she\'s traumatising the people who care about her. in the second, she has already proven that she\'ll make the attempt, and it\'s only a matter of time before she manages to kill herself.
as for myself
I feel that as long as I have family and friends I won\'t be in danger of commiting suicide, I care too much about those around me to make them hurt the way that they would if I were to die.
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Well if she is just trying for attention she doing a damn good job and soon it might actually turn into a suicide, when she cuts her wrists she cuts them :(
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There may be underlying emotional issues of some sort as well. Is there someone who tells her she\'s fat? \'cuz 140 lbs. isn\'t fat.....
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Mm there\'s a lot of pressure from the media and society which sometimes give girls a distortion of reality and making them think that they are physically imperfect. I do not think that I have to mention such things as magazines, brommstick-thick supermodels and celebrities, etc. Another factor is that people nowadays grow up quickly. Girls of twelve and thirteen are already going out, dating, and generally living the lives of adults without the wisdom of adults. The result is an unfortunate distortion of reality where girls start thinking that there must be something wrong with them if they cannot attract boys, etc.
Some girls develop annorexia because they want to \"punish\" their bodies for being too fat, for example. This might not necessarily mean that they are fat, they might just have a distortion of reality. Depth, prehaps your sister feels that if she cuts herself, she is punishing her body which she percieves to be imperfect. She has to break that distorted image of herself; Someone should tell her this. If not her mom (she might have a problem with authority), why don\'t you approach her as a friend and brother?
Tygerwilde: I do not think your councilors would lock you up if you explained to them why you haven\'t attempted suicide. I do not think you are in any danger of attempting suicide, because you are lucky enough to have a wife you love very much and who loves you back and friends. Do you have children? I believe you mentioned them in the other post. If so, they are another reason why you\'d never attempt suicide.
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It\'s doesn\'t have to be because someone tells her she\'s fat, it could be just in her mind.
Or maybe it\'s because she looks at anorectic models too much...
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No one tells her she is fat, no one tells me im fat and im bigger than her...She has always been like im fat there is a girl i work with the same way!
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some people don\'t have to be told, they see the media\'s impossible standards of beauty and they believe that if they can\'t measure up to the women in their magazines or on their tv, then they are less of a person. not all anorexics are instigated into their behavior, it\'s another kind of mental imbalance.
as far as telling my doctors is concerned, once long ago, they were going to put me away simply for the level of depression I was going through and the fact that I was only sleeping about 40 hours a month. I\'m afraid of being put into a home or hospital, and with my history, I don\'t know how much it would take to find reason to put me in one.
so I avoid them when I can, and when the depression is really strong, I see them long enough to get an anti depressant, just for a short time fix and leave it at that. I don\'t feel the need to be fixed entirely, I just don\'t want to be so sad that I can\'t enjoy ANYTHING.
{did anyone say that depthblade\'s sister is an anorexic??? i must have missed somehting...
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No I just took the example of anorexics who have the illness because they want to punish their bodies for being imperfect in their opinion.
Well the important thing Tyger is that you\'re not in danger, although the imbalance is unfortunate.
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I could be way off base, but I think T\'s wife needs his support and he should leave the PS2 at home.
Your mother-in-law and wife will be experencing some very strong emotions. Now is the time to be 100% involved in thier life. Sure the Oger is dead, but your trip is not about him. It is about your wife and mother patching up thier relationship and mending deep wounds.
Think of it this way. If your wife were still single and you were courting her, this would be a great oppertunity to endear yourself to her. If the relationship is a bit rocky this kind of thing can glue it back together. If it is already strong, it will empower it.
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No, he should take it. They won\'t \'patch up\' all the time, and even in some of the time they will, they might not want him right there with them.
They\'ll want some time for their own too, and there\'s absolutely no reason what-so-ever that in that time he\'ll have to sit on a chair and stare at the wall.
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hehe, actually, there won\'t be that much patching up to do. after he died, they picked up pretty much where they were before he came along. Now they talk pretty much every day. they\'ve gone back to being best friends....
the bad part is, it\'s costing a mint in calling cards.