Author Topic: Sisters  (Read 2060 times)

Miya

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Sisters
« on: April 26, 2005, 12:09:33 pm »
[some notes before you start. Triste rhymes with yeast, and Sayli is pronounced \"sai lee\" sai as in the japanese sword. Oh, and the entire scene takes place underwater]

Part 1, the Abyss

The water buzzed with the sound of two young Nothrir girls chatting on their swim home from their first day at the academy. Sayli, the older of the two sisters, had received a necklace as a gift that day, and Triste, the younger sister, wanted to try it on.

\"Come on Sayli, I just want to wear it for a little while, just till we get home, jeez what\'s the problem?\"

\"It\'s mine that\'s the problem. Get your own necklace, \" Sayli replied, putting her thumb on her nose (a slightly snooty Nolthrir gesture).

Triste scrunched her face and frowned, \"Come on, if you don\'t I\'ll tell Mom about your little boyfriend!\"

\"You wouldn\'t\"

\"Hehe, you\'re right I wouldn\'t. But come on, just for a little while? It\'s so pretty!\"

\"Oh come on it\'s just a stupid necklace why do you want it so badly?\"

\"If it\'s so stupid then what\'s the big deal?\"

\"Oh fine, you silly little fish,\" Sayli said, smiling, as she took off the necklace and handed it to Triste. It got stuck on her long pointed ear as she slipped it over her head, but eventually she got it on and smiled, swimming around gracefully showing it off to her sister.

\"Damn it Triste it looks better on you than it does on me!\"

\"hehehe yup, but hey just remember, he gave it to yuuuu, his \'loooooverfish\' hehe\" Triste said with teasing laugh.

\"oh stop..\" Sayli said with a little blush, flaring her gills.

\"Speaking of fish, I\'m hungry aren\'t you?\"

\"Ya now that you mention it, we should be getting home or we\'ll be late.\"

\"oh here Sayli, have your necklace back. You should probably hide it before Mom sees it and starts asking questions,\" Triste said as she tried to take off the necklace. One of its oddly shaped pieces got stuck on one of her long ears, however, and she dropped it. It fell fast, spiraling into the darkness below and disappeared. The two sisters floated in silence looking down into the dark abyss, \"oh Sayli... I\'m so sorry...\"

\"Oh pah, let\'s just swim down and get it, we\'re not far from the bottom anyway\"

\"But we\'re not supposed to go down there, it\'s dangerous\"

\"Come on Triste, it will only be a minute we\'ll get it and come back up what\'s the big deal?\"

\"... oh all right.\"

The light from above faded as they swam deeper and deeper into the abyss. When they finally reached the bottom, Sayli stopped swimming and took a ball of moss from her pack. She held it up to her mouth and breathed water into it, causing the bioluminescent moss to light up, casting clear white light down onto a dark hole in the stone below next to a large, perfectly round boulder, and they could just see a feint sparkle inside the hole.

\"I think it\'s in there Sayli.\"

\"figures,\" said Sayli before swimming into the hole.

\"Be careful Sayli\"

\"Ya ya... just hold that light up so I can see ok?\"

Triste lowered the moss into the hole as Sayli swam into it, lighting up a large round cavern underneath. There were large gashes and scratches all over the walls. A shiver went through Sayli\'s spine as she looked around for her necklace. There was a small platform at the bottom of the cavern carved out of stone, with strange runes and diagrams etched onto its surface with a precision Sayli had never seen before, and right in the center, was her necklace. She grabbed it quickly and began to swim up, happy to be leaving this creepy place, when suddenly she felt something brush her arm, like thin hair waving in the water, and as she looked up slowly, she saw a woman floating above her with her back towards her.

\"Triste? Triste is that you?\" she said, a tone of fear in her voice as the woman was not moving. She reached out and turned the woman towards her, and the light slowly revealed the shriveled skin of the dead woman\'s face clinging to its skull. Sayli immediately recognized the face... it was her own face. She screamed and flailed madly, trying to swim up and out of there fast, but just before she reached the opening she felt a cold, bony hand wrap around her ankle, pulling her down. The hand gripped tightly, and felt like ice against her skin, drawing in all heat. A sinking cold feeling of despair washed over her as she felt her strength leaving her.

With the last of her strength, she reached up and screamed for help, and suddenly felt Triste\'s hands pulling hers up out of the hole. The hand had let go of her ankle, and Sayli felt her strength return and quickly rolled the boulder over the entrance to the cavern, blocking it. The two sisters floated in place for a minute, flaring their gills. Triste was the first to speak.

\"What happened down there?\"

\"Didn\'t you see it?\" Sayli said with a quivering voice.

\"See what?\"

\"There was... a dead woman down there..... and.. it.. it looked like me Triste. it had my face!\"

\"Sayli I didn\'t see anything and I was looking at you the whole time. I was trying to talk to you but you wouldn\'t answer I was starting to get worried.\"

\"It grabbed me around the ankle, see?\" Sayli pulled her pant leg up and saw a small green scar faintly glowing around her ankle, then looked up at Triste, \"see it left a scar on my ankle\"

\"What scar, I don\'t see a scar Sayli\"

Sayli looked again, but the scar wasn\'t there, \"I.. I don\'t understand.. I just don\'t understand..\"

Sayli began shivering and was starting to cry, but Triste quickly wrapped her arms around her in a warm hug.

\"It\'ll be ok Sayli, we just need to get you home ok? Come on, let\'s just swim home, we\'ll be there in no time ok?\"

\"o.. ok...\"

The two sisters began their journey home, and when they arrived Triste made up an excuse for their lateness, something about a spell gone wrong and Sayli needing rest, but her sleep would be far from peaceful, and although she didn\'t know it yet, Sayli\'s nightmares were about to become very real....

To Be Continued....
« Last Edit: April 26, 2005, 12:22:34 pm by Miya »
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Miya

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« Reply #1 on: April 26, 2005, 12:17:35 pm »
Hehe, always looking for feedback. I\'ll be posting additional parts by editing the first post and adding the parts to the end. I\'ll bump the thread when that happens to let you know. Thanks ahead of time for comments/feedback/criticism hehe.
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Phinehas

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« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2005, 12:29:05 pm »
Spooky! I like it.

Under the moon

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« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2005, 01:55:27 am »
The Shiveries! You gave me the Shiveries! Now I\'m afraid of the water.  8o

Started out a little girly, the dilogue seeming a little too modern schoolgirl for me. But once you got in the cave...bravo! If you continue on like this, I can see this ending up in \'The Book\'.

But, if you\'re looking for a lot of feedback, I\'m afraid you\'ve come to the wrong place. Only a few people come in here. But don\'t stop writing! It\'s always good to see new \'ink\'.  ;)

Hmmm...this reminds me. I\'ve got a creepy chapter coming up in \'Soul\'s Mirror\'. I hope it gives everyone the same shivers as this does.

Miya

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« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2005, 08:52:59 pm »
I chose that style of dialog to emphasize their age, which is central to the story. hehe. Oh, and part 2 is coming soon. Unfortunately it may not be spell checked since I\'m at my sister\'s place and her computer apparently doesn\'t have any spell checking applications, which baffles me, but it\'s almost done and I didn\'t want to wait till I got back home. When I post it I\'ll just edit the original post and tack on part 2.
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Miya

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« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2005, 01:03:49 am »
Sayli slept slightly more sound that night than she would have expected. By the time she returned home she had already concluded that she had imagined seeing herself, and the scar on her ankle. A product of an overactive imagination, she reasoned. Her sleep was dreamless.

\"Sayli, don\'t forget today is dueling practice. I left your equipment by the exit. Oh, and they raised the academy to the surface so be sure to leave early. It will take you longer to get there,\" her mother yelled up at her from the living quarters below. They had lowered the entire academy to the bottom of the eighth level for the first week. A sort of ceremonial tradition for the academy. Sayli wasn\'t really sure why, and at this point in time she didn\'t care, other than for the fact that her swim there today would be longer than it was yesterday.

Their home was a very large hollow plant bulb floating above the bottom of the seventh level, attached by a rope of interwoven vines. These bulbs were commonly used as homes by seaweed farmers, which happened to be the current, though likely temporary profession of Sayli\'s parents. They were never really the sort to settle down in any one place. The bulb was hollow on the inside and was continuously supplied with breathable air by the plant itself. It made a simple home, with a large living space at the bottom, and a ridge of chambers around the top where the family slept. They had each made rope ladders leading up into their individual rooms, and hung woven seaweed cloth to cover the openings to each chamber. It\'s commonly believed that these plant homes were created magically and used by the early Nothril even before they evolved gills to breath underwater.

None of this crossed Sayli\'s mind as she got ready that morning. In fact the only thing that crossed her mind was the duels that were scheduled for today. Being a freshman, she had a distinct disadvantage, but she felt with the tutoring her mother had given her and her long hours of practice alone might secure her a place in some of the more advanced classes. Other than that, little else was on her mind.

It was perhaps because of this that, by the time she had \"finished\" getting ready, she had found herself in the wrong set of clothes, and with her hair tied just about as wrong as hair could be tied. Triste entered the room and sighed at her, carefully untying Sayli\'s long dark emerald-colored hair. She looked at Sayli through the silvered glass mirror as she began to braid the hair. Sayli\'s face was a calico of patchy light and dark emerald green hues and had a slight sheen to it, and dark green spots in a symmetrical pattern on her forehead and neck. Her eyes were almost completely black - \"demon eyes\" as the superstitious elderly called them. Quite rare amongst Nothril.

Sayli flared her gills, flicking the salt that had built up there over night, and folded them tight against her neck, nearly concealing them against the patchy skin. Her ears drooped lazily on either side of the long braid Triste was making behind her and she yawned sleepily, and Triste placed a small fish in her mouth before she closed it again.

\"Herw, havv somm bwekfsst. We don weally have time for anything ewse,\" Triste said, with a hair tie in her mouth. Sayli bit down into the raw fish and tore off a chunk of slimy meat, spilling fish juice down her chin and nearly swallowing the bite whole.

Triste tied off the end of Sayli\'s braid with the hair tie and sighed, \"Honestly Sayli you eat just like Mom.\"

\"I dooo nawt,\" Sayli said, mouth full, juice running.

Triste giggled, \"heh, well whatever. Hurry up and put on your swimming clothes and meet me by the exit ok? We\'re gunna be late\"

\"Sure, whatever MOM,\" Sayli teased. Despite being the younger sister, Triste tended to be the more responsible one, though Sayli seemed to be the only child their parents really payed attention to.

They were late, of course, and they arrived without a set of cloth clothes to change into once they arrived. So of course they were met with weird glances, laughter, and understanding nods from a couple of the other students who had done the same. They were also met with a tall, very grumpy Nothrir professor. It was not the first time they\'d been late that week.

\"I assume you\'ve had enough time to think up an excuse for your lateness,\" she said, hands crossed and glaring down at them. Triste glared right back at her.

\"We uh..\" Sayli began to say, before being interrupted.

\"Save it. Don\'t waste my time, or yours. Just get in there and sit down,\" she glanced at the two sisters, still soaking wet in their swimming clothes, carrying their dueling gear over their shoulders and continued, \"well at least you brought your equipment...\"

The professor opened the door and led them into the dueling room. They padded over to a pair of empty seats in the corner, dripping water all over everyone on the way and sat down. Luckily everyone was watching the duelists in the lowered center ring. They had pitted an upper class-man against one of the new bloods - another little \"school tradition\". The freshman was trying to go on the offensive, slashing at his unarmed opponent, hitting nothing but air. The short upper class-man simply smiled and dodged over and over, showing off with a backflip. Finally the freshman lunged, only to be kicked in the chest and sent flying across the ring into a heap on the floor. The judge standing to the side pointed at the upper class-man, indicating a win. This was of course no surprise to anyone. The spectators cheered the freshman as he got himself up and took a seat. His friends patted him on the back.

The grumpy professor they had met in the hallways walked into the ring and whispered something to the judge and pointed in their direction. The judge smiled, and announced, \"Next, we have Sayli against Veila. Duelists please step into the ring. You have five minutes to prepare.

Startled, Sayli jumped up, flicking water into the next row of people, and grabbed her bag. She quickly padded down to the ring into her corner. She tipped her bag, spilling its contents noisily onto the floor and began picking things up one by one and putting them on, still dripping water into a puddle at her feet. A few of the students were giggling at the sight. She picked up a long, ornate glove and slipped it onto her right arm. The end reaching nearly to her elbow. It had a number of small stones woven into pockets on the glove in many places. There were a couple of places where a set of runes were lined up next to each other on the glove. There were no fingers on the glove, leaving Sayli\'s fingers exposed. Next, she picked up a pair of gold colored blades with odd handles perpendicular to the blade, with a rotating arm brace just down the blade from the handle. Sayli slipped her hand through the brace and gripped the handle, taking a couple of practice swipes for balance and then tightened the brace around her arm. She let go of the handle, letting the blade swing away a bit, and then waved her hand over the glove, lightly touching various runes on its surface, causing them to hum and glow slightly. She swung the blade back and grabbed the handle, pointing the tip of the blade at the puddle in the floor. The water quickly gathered into one spot and slithered up into the air, separated  and froze into various shaped shards of ice, which began to orbit each of her blades. Finally she took a large spherical flask and tied it to her belt.

She looked across the ring at her opponent, staring back at her. She nodded at the judge. She was ready.
« Last Edit: August 18, 2005, 01:08:05 am by Miya »
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Cooldewd

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« Reply #6 on: September 01, 2005, 03:00:29 am »
YARR Avaste ye landlubbers!?!?

Thou shall regret thine actions, swine!



umm... and is she hot?
I\'M A SUPER SAIYEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FEEL THE RATH OF MY DRAGON BALLZ!

HAGOKEN!!!

Cha0s

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« Reply #7 on: September 01, 2005, 03:26:15 am »
Serious posts that contribute. I thought I already went over this... You\'re not contributing with that post. Give feedback on the story and/or tell whether you liked it or not... Even worse is that the thread is 4 months old. If you had had something somewhat worthwhile to say...
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Cooldewd

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« Reply #8 on: September 01, 2005, 03:28:11 am »
ok, i liked it. it was good. i liked it more than the story i read in english class.


um i mean in pirate english class, avast ye!!! (i\'m roleplaying a pirate)
I\'M A SUPER SAIYEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FEEL THE RATH OF MY DRAGON BALLZ!

HAGOKEN!!!

Miya

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« Reply #9 on: September 01, 2005, 03:37:31 am »
By the way cooldewd, this thread is not an open roleplay thread, but a closed short story written by myself.

But thanks for the compliment :)

And yes I\'m still working on it. I have about 5 chapters left though. I\'m a slow writer... :(




... not to mention lazy...
:D
« Last Edit: September 01, 2005, 03:38:20 am by Miya »
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Cooldewd

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« Reply #10 on: September 01, 2005, 03:42:48 am »
wow. if its going to be that long you should get a website ^_^

i like roleplaying a pirate tho :(

Yarrr! Put ye fables on yon vast interweb an landlubbers will sail to yer port like me mateys to a bar with many wenches ;)
I\'M A SUPER SAIYEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FEEL THE RATH OF MY DRAGON BALLZ!

HAGOKEN!!!

fuiloco

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« Reply #11 on: February 02, 2006, 07:47:49 pm »
i really enjoyed reading what you have so far i hope that the rest comes soon i would really like to see the ending to such a great story. :P  :))
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Cyl

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« Reply #12 on: February 02, 2006, 08:44:19 pm »
Looking forward to reading more. Considering that I have barely read anything relating to Nothrir , I was pretty much out of the water. (<.< )

Critics, hmm not really, I cant spot anything that could be better.
« Last Edit: February 02, 2006, 08:44:33 pm by Cyl »
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zorbels

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« Reply #13 on: February 02, 2006, 09:30:30 pm »
:D Miya I like the story so far. You are very discriptive and I had an easy time following what you were trying to create.... I look forward to your next installment.
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