Gladiator's Last Breath

[Kixie]

Heard from a gladiator in the arena after being impaled through the head by a Trepor:

"Why did you stop? What’s going on? My potions are gone. Everyone is looking at me.

Me here. I’m standing. That was close. My life is failing, I can feel it.

Can’t they shut up! So loud. It feels like a swarm of clackers in my skull! Something is tickling my nose, except it’s moving. Now it’s on the back of my head, but it’s inside.

Shut up!

This sword is so heavy. Every time I swing it, I move my shield. I can’t move. I’m falling, but I’m not moving.

God the noise!

Why did everything get so dark? The ground is so soft. My potions are gone! I need to get up. So loud… Can’t anyone hear it? Why aren’t they helping me?

Am I going to die?

I’m already dead.

My shield heavy. Where I? I hear soft.

Soft loud. Clackers… Ow.

My head. Standing?

Everyone gone.

So dark. So loud.

I’m falling.

I…"

[Marqsaynt]

Full of imagery, captures the confusion and sense of irony as the Gladiator realizes he or she is dying with an almost detached sense of commonplace.

Short (in a good way), full of nuance, and made me want to read it over again… and a few times after that.

Really liked it, great job of taking an idea, turning it on its head and showing a different perspective.

[Quitarias]

i can only say that you realy captured the moment of confusion and that you realy made it fell like it happened (to me at least)
it was somehow a twilight tome somewhat active and fast but at the same time slow and very dragy (dragy is good in this case)
and well i can only say write more and get better than you already are

[Watcher]

Love it!