Tales of Opression Chapter 1: The slaughter of the miners

[Kixie]

lordraleigh, the plots and action going on within your stories seem very interesting, as well as intriguingly detailed but I do have some grievances.

It seems that your writing has very little definition to it. Each character expresses himself in exactly the same manner. The manner in which he transcribes the story is strange to begin with. Instead of an emotional harangue, they seem like official reports or flat explanations. Perhaps this is what you're going for, but it just seems kind of... boring.

I hope you don't take offense to this, I'm really trying to help. I hope you revisit these stories one day, and attempt to add some flair and proportion to it.

[Quitarias]

i know i exagerated a bit but you realy made it sound like that to me anyway i think we should stop this and agree on something
how about this :
1)Lordareigh never said he has started a rebelion it was only mentioned as what will hapen
2)neither of us is making a good point so we should stop litering
3)Continue with your story Lordareigh

PS:how can Lordareigh (the char i mean)know which Ochtarch did it go to a fortune teller ?
PSS:Kixie's got a good point

[Parallo]

1)Lordareigh never said he has started a rebelion it was only mentioned as what will hapen

Exactly. He is saying it will happen and basing his entire character around the 'fact' that the government is evil and corrupt. This makes little sence as there is no proof of that but rather the contrary in the sence that noone else even knows of it let alone actually opposes the government. But agreed. Carry on. Its an interesting read at least.