1) Uh...can you say a bunch of well-drilled half-wits? Maybe I need to bring Mom over and have her whip 'em into a real bunch o' guards... 
2) Kaerli would have probably either tried to pick the thing off from behind first chance she got or stalked it for a long time, observing it.
3) *inspects really closely* Hmmm...have I seen this before?
4) What in Xiosia's name are you doing draggin' Ulbers around like that? *runs the wizard through before he even gets halfway to the city*
5) Just try to arrest me.
(hint: I wouldn't be surprised if the incarceration spell just plum didn't work on Farren or Kaerli, Farren's quite resistant to magic and Kaerli has a limited form of that through her necklace) (they could, but it'd take them a good deal of time and effort to do so + they'd have to do it "by hand" for the reason mentioned above)
6) Hmmm...I sure hope that criminal's name's Allola Peloosey...*licks lips and watches execution eagerly if it is* it's about time they disposed of her...
7) You might want to fix the laws while you're at it folks...you've got the guards running around arrestin' people for misdemeanors while a slaver sits right under your nose! Now, that makes as much sense as an Ulbernaut trying to fit through the door to Kada's!
[point 1] The job buys ale

[point 2] Kaerli is smart.
[point 4] third option - tag along and see what happens it could be fun.

[point 6] Aww Kaerli rid us of Queen AP and her retinue?

[point 7] Hehe law enforcement is like water and takes the easy path (i.e traffic offences get you promoted - hard crime is hard work ) so the guards behaviour is very credible wrt 'our world'.
Thanks for the post Kaerli - it was worth responding to