The way I see it is that the form one of the gods take is some reflection of how they feel about themselves and their personalities, its not a choice. Laanx may have been marred in that incident on a spiritual level, and so the avatar ey gets when manifesting emself suffered in reflection of this. The part of ey denying eirs femininity does not have to mean a conscious choice, just like people mostly do not choose how they feel about themselves. Ey suffers from low self-esteem and doesnt let people see em without being completely covered, who know how much of what ever ugliness Laanx have now is there because ey became so bitter, Perhaps if ey could make up with Talad and get some friends and perhaps some counseling, ey might recover at least a little... Sadly, it will probably not happen, gods are not usually very good patients, and the therapist will probably not survive the session...
Of course, this is only an interpretation of the story.
