Author Topic: The First Jump  (Read 1147 times)

dragonfire999

  • Hydlaa Notable
  • *
  • Posts: 938
    • View Profile
The First Jump
« on: July 12, 2005, 11:25:11 pm »
(from the eyes of a Klyros named Kalara, one of my alts)
EDITED!!!!!!!

I had always ached for the day that i would be able to use my wings to carry me through the air. Watching the other klyros do it always made me envious, almost jealous to grow up even. One time i jumped off a 20 foot stone to try and fly, but this caused me to fall flat on my face, for the other klyros to laugh at me.

My mother says she will show me how to glide amongst the wind, she sails through the air like a Nolthrir in the water. Older Klyros have a way of making me feel small, when they get angry and theyre wings spread out, it makes my small limp wings seem even smaller. What makes it worse, is that i cant swim like other klyros my age. I always tire out easy and  my wings make my go slower. Oh to sail into that forever abyss of water.

I was just sitting down under a tree today, listening to all the other children playing and having fun, when my mother walked up to me. She told me to follow her.


----------------------------


We were walking for a really long time. Once we stopped, I noticed what was going on. She had brought me to the top of a gigantic cliff! We must have been thousands of feet above the ground at the base of the cliff! She stretched her wings and showed me how you glided. Wings met with the horizon. Legs straight out... Arms at your sides... i thought i understood it all. She told me to jump.

I stretched my legs out, ready to run off of the cliff. She counted doen for me.

\"Three....\"
My heart started beating wildly out of control
\"Two......\"
Sweat broke on my forehead
\"One....\"
I think my muscles just went numb at that moment....
\"GO!\"
       I darted across the ground and jumped off of the cliff as hard as i could. I tryed to put my wings parallel to the horizon, but i couldnt get control of  them. I tumbled through the sky, nearing the ground every second.

I landed in a lake, and i tryed to swim back to shore. I was too tired to make it all the way though.


----------------------

I woke up under that tree again, with my mother looking down at me with her piercing eyes.
\"You fell, want to try again?\" She asked
\"I just want to try until i am flying\" I responded.
We made the walk to the cliff again, and this time she demonstrated. She didnt jump, she sprinted! When I jumped i lost control.


This time, I was positive I could glide. I stretched my leg muscles, and flapped my wings powerfully twice.
\"Three...\"
I looked across the landscape that lay in front of me, and i took a few breaths.
\"Two...\"
 I wanted to reach those distant mountains on the horizon by using my wings to glide for miles.
\"One....\"
I  stretched my legs one last time.
\"GO!\"
I sprinted along the dirt of the cliff, looking forward into the horizon. I spread my wings horizontally right before i sprinted off the edge of the cliff.
I was doing it! The crisp air filled my lungs. My arms were at my sides, my legs behind me. Other kids had heard that I had fell last time, and had gathered at the base of the cliff. Even from the height i was at, i could tell that they were envying me. I looked back to see my mother, hands folded at her heart. I knew she was proud.

Since then, gliding has become my main mode of travel. I\'m not afraid to glide, in fact, I am going to show my son how to glide in a few days. And i will marvel him aswell.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2005, 10:40:23 pm by dragonfire999 »

Quote
= <3

DeviantArt

Phinehas

  • Guest
(No subject)
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2005, 11:39:56 pm »
It\'s pretty good. An interesting topic. I think it wouldn\'t have hurted if it was a bit longer. The dramatic effect you\'re going for would have benefited from a bit more monologue about the frustration it was causing. But that\'s just a personal preference. It was pretty good over all.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2005, 11:40:44 pm by Phinehas »

John_Thazer

  • Hydlaa Notable
  • *
  • Posts: 590
  • From the ivory tower, I gaze upon thee
    • View Profile
    • Chaotic Warriors
(No subject)
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2005, 11:46:22 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by Phinehas
It\'s pretty good. An interesting topic. I think it wouldn\'t have hurted if it was a bit longer. The dramatic effect you\'re going for would have benefited from a bit more monologue about the frustration it was causing. But that\'s just a personal preference. It was pretty good over all.


It\'s actually good as it is...Short and to the point...


You can try, but you shall fail! Seek us not, we shall find you.

dragonfire999

  • Hydlaa Notable
  • *
  • Posts: 938
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #3 on: July 13, 2005, 12:35:46 am »
Thanks for the comments!
I didnt want a long story, because those generally bore me too! I wanted to give it right out.
Thanks for reading too!

Quote
= <3

DeviantArt

Phinehas

  • Guest
(No subject)
« Reply #4 on: July 13, 2005, 12:36:20 am »
Oh it\'s good, no question about that. It just seems to be lacking a little... \"oomph\".

Shayla

  • Traveller
  • *
  • Posts: 21
    • View Profile
Great job
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2005, 12:01:16 am »
I thought you story was very good.
I do like the fact that it is shorter..
In my mind makes more want to
read it. I have seen that you have
other writings on here are look
forward to reading them.
Again A great job!

Dylia

  • Hydlaa Citizen
  • *
  • Posts: 210
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2005, 04:11:37 pm »
Really like the story and the details you have in it are a great effect.
I look forward to reading more of your posts
:)
« Last Edit: November 12, 2005, 11:30:11 am by Dylia »

zorbels

  • Forum Addict
  • *
  • Posts: 2132
  • Screenshot Queen of PS - EX GM - Strawberries <3
    • View Profile
(No subject)
« Reply #7 on: November 17, 2005, 10:45:40 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by Phinehas
Oh it\'s good, no question about that. It just seems to be lacking a little... \"oomph\".


I agree and could not said it better myself, it was a nice enjoyable read.
   I've been outside, it's overrated and the graphics suck!