Love and Woe

[bloodedIrishman]

An aged man sits down in a rickety wooden chair. He straightens his back and sighs, massauging his knees. He turns his head down onto the table before him. Opening an unwritten book, he turns it to the first page and begins writing. On the spine of the book, a simple title remains etched, "Of Love and Woe".

Within this book I will write of my experiences with love, and its close sister woe. For you see, these two are inherently intertwined. One cannot love or be loved without experiencing great suffering. Love, friends, is fickle handling, and you will inevitably be caused grief of an unimaginable amount. I will tell the tales of my vast experiences with love and woe; perhaps you will learn and use them to your advantage or not. Love had built me up with confidence and success, and woe had broken me down into a puddle of pathetic nothingness. You shall read of both; of success and failure; of adoration and humiliation. And maybe, these old weary bones can still hand out wisdom where desperate hands need it most.

[BLERGHtrue]

haha, a light hearted read
I like this. You, my friend, seem to be quite the story teller

[Geoni]

Very light hearted indeed, it seems you are "hot blooded", just leave Malco alone , kra doesn't hurt anybody, in fact kra is the only one in Gugrontid that ever treat me with the kindness of simplicity!

[Sarras Volcae]

Geoni, the forum is completely ooc

[Geoni]

I know it is, i just have a love for Geoni, so i always act like kra on anything to do with Planeshift, especially the roleplay secton. ^___^

[Sarras Volcae]

I know it is, i just have a love for Geoni, so i always act like kra on anything to do with Planeshift, especially the roleplay secton. ^___^

umm, that's a bit creepy, but if you're into it....

[Geoni]

Just having fun roleplaying, why not bring it into the forums, i see nothing wrong with it~

[bloodedIrishman]

One.

An Incident in Gugrontid

When I was a lad in the prime of my youth, I had just developed a curious interest if you might say. At times this interest has caused me some momentary delight, and dissapointment. An ideal example of this happened to me, once.

I shall give you the setting; it ensued in the city of Gugrontid.

I had been walking at a brisk pace through the lower streets of the fine city, when I came upon a sight no man could say was a sight for sore eyes. What did I see, you ask me, child? A pair of legs, yes, you did hear me correctly. No child, not simply any typical pair of legs – but shapely, gorgeous legs. They were lovely to behold. Love at first sight hit me as an ulbernaut would with its behemoth claws.

Inhibition had forgone me, child! An urge welled up inside me, I whistled a tune of a sexier-nature at these legs. I thought from the moment mine eyes had caught sight upon these legs, that a woman of noble stature and fine beauty would be their carrier.

My tune had fallen upon her ears, and she turned her head in my direction! BUT LO! The beast reared its ugly head with an etched smile of clear stupidity and obvious ignorance, displayed with a simple happiness only a Neanderthal could retain! Child, know this now!

This revolting result of the gods failed first experiments at creation was Malco Mokkar! Take this lesson to heart, for this mistake can be devastatingly humiliating. When thou see a woman of fair body, observe her face before attempting courtship!

[bloodedIrishman]

I really haven't done anything for this. I could put different things up, but maybe some of the stories are too R-rated for this forum. Well, expect some more funny tales in the next week to 4 months.

[bloodedIrishman]

Two.

A Traveled Path

As I sauntered down the streets of Hydlaa with my friend Ron, we happened to see a sexy lady next to Kada-el's. Her Angel Cakes were heavenly; a pair of baby pillows on a soft feathered bed. They were like beacons on a hill, towering above a sea of smaller and less perky beacons. Sort of like two ripe cantaloupes fresh from wherever they grow cantaloupes at. Like two hot cherry pies sitting side-by-side on the windowsill of a hot milf's house. As refreshing to see as drinking two jugs of freshly squeezed milk. A perfect simulation of two watermelons packed inside a too-tight shirt.

As we neared this sexy lady, she winked at me. No, not at Ron. Me. And at that very moment, a thought, perchance, crossed my love-stricken mind. "Oh...DAMN!"

But as we neared, I recalled a memory of my other friend, Bob, telling me about a woman named Lelina who looked like the sexy lady in front of us. They said she knew her way around Hydlaa, if you know what I'm saying. Apparently, she could describe the exact aesthetic of the beds in Kada-el's rooms. Her roads had been traversed quite frequently, if you're catching my drift. Her sea caves spelunked repeatedly. The door to her house didn't have a lock. Someone had definitely pioneered a path through her forest a loooong time ago. Her tunnels had been excavated, and boy, they had expanded to fit newer traffic. There wasn't much to cover her muffler. She'd definitely taken part in some alternative hot dog eating contests.

Now, Ron didn't know any of this. And, judging from the saliva coming from the sides of his mouth, he was moderately interested in the sexy lady. But I had to avoid having my manhood enter that foul cave of hers. That well-worn highway. Believe me, her car had been driven. Her house was rented. There was no guest bedroom. Those sheets weren't that white when she bought them.

Being a good friend and all, I pushed the conversation in Ron's favor, and making an excuse, I went off to buy something I needed. Well, instead I just waited around a corner and giggled myself to death as my friend plowed a field of free wheat.

Well, a week later, Ron discovered some irregular bumps and things on him. According to a doctor in the Hydlaa medical center, he had contracted severe cases of Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Herpes, AIDS and Syphilis. And somehow, Ulbernaut HIV, the first of it's kind to appear in humans, considering it's physically impossible to make sweet, sweet love with an Ulbernaut.

Friends, I dodged a bullet there! Now, the lesson here is, when dealing with a ladies' fun parts, always, always, take the path less traveled.

[bloodedIrishman]

Three.

Mary

Of beauty and a woman I sing, of hair autumn-brown and a promised ring.

Men surrender to those deep brown eyes, buckle beneath the resigning of her soft sighs, carry a sweet tune as she glides on by, swoon for the apple of the unseeing eye.

Of such saccharine loveliness who could dare defile?

Resting on her pale hand lies a small ring, to remind men who dared: she was professed to a King. O Mary, did you not know, when you swore upon your life, that your chastity oath to hungry men would bring such strife?

To the divine the men implored: for an oath-breaking by the hand of the Almighty Lord.

In time, Mary gave way and to simple demands she did bend. Mary, by Gods graces, took a male friend.

"Lucky man" to him they said, "you would be the first Mary will bed".

Forth he went to seek her favor all but in vain,
giving up title and wealth for the sake of Mary's gain.
And when she had drained him clean,
he wandered the lands a man lost and lean.

Mary found another, of whom it was said, taken of all he was worth and left him for dead. In utter despair he put the revolver to his head, and in those last seconds cursed his love for Mary 'twas said, blasted, and filled his head with led.

Another, another, another, and another, Mary took six men. Two to the loony bin, four to their ancestral kin. Of a brand of men fine quality and sort, their lives were ended pathetically short, slain by a woman of uncontested beauty. And such is the tale of the Divine Succubus Mary.

[Tessra]

 

Oh very well done.  A Traveled Path makes me shudder and want to ask Allelia for some hand sanitizer to be installed at the door to Kada's.

[Sangwa]

Very refreshing stuff, man, keep it going!

[Geoni]

lol, it's funny to look back and see myself being Geoni on the forums in my nubness. 

Oh, and I know too many RL Mary's. lol.