just follow a simple rule i use when i make posts, debate the issue, not the person.
and if you've stated your view point, and they still don't agree, posting it over and over again won't help, so don't.
as far as moderation goes, i'm a pretty hands off type of person. i'd rather like it if threads just worked out themselves. unfortunately, as i originally said in the op, i'll be having to be a bit more hands on.
/shrug