Author Topic: about a blacksmith  (Read 773 times)

snow_RAveN

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about a blacksmith
« on: June 18, 2004, 04:31:10 pm »
[OT] i dont know what to call it so read ! [/OT]
blood fell on the anvil
He cut his finger, it wasn\'t deep but it stung like fire , it didnt matter.

he picked up his tool again. it was old and its surface worn form years of work but it was sturdy just like its owner.

Its weigth felt comforting ,it always has , like a good friend it was always there through the wild storms of winter and the scroching days of the summer . it was always there hanging on the shelf.

It was his only friend it was the only thing he cared for ,no one eals mattered

it spoke to him , it guided him , it showed him souls of iron and steel . they had wicked shapes which reflected their nature some curved in such away they seem to be in constant motion some felt so disturbing ... they felt they should be locked, lost , forgoten ...... he could never bring himself to destroy his work. They were like his blood ,sweat  his fleah his ...

A knock on the door ...

he felt his hammer on the anvil waiting

he swung the worn old door inwards .
No one might as well close it and get back to work .
\"helo ?\"
He looked down
\"their not ready yet\"
he tried to slam the door but the dwarf stoped it form closeing
\"errr me wife naged me to give this to yer your  she says its all lonely up here and errrr ..  she baked you some cake i hop ...\" he wasent listening, he didnt want to.
\"right i\'ll just leave them here ..\"
there was something eals in the basket .. something moved under the covers
\"Whats that !?\"
\"err errr its a gift ?\"
he made a move for the basket
\"a dog ?\"
\"even better\" the dwarf grined \"a puppy ! do you like it ? my wife suggested that i\'d give this to yer after ive brougth it home she ...
\"i don\'t want it ! \"
It stared at him with its deep black eyes and he stared back
\"err .. errr we havent gave him a name yet .. err i found it nearly drowned in near the river it must have was...\"

He picked the puppy up . it had a brown spot under its left eye .

he wanted to give it bac ...... the dwarf had left

he was left alone with the puppy
\"i\'ll think ill call you \"he paused the words were on the tip of his tounge \" yes i\'ll think i\'ll call you trouble\"
he repeted the name to himself as he brought it in

and he gave trouble a biscit .


[ot] so how did it suck ?[/OT]
Quote
Originally posted by DepthBlade
I am not as good as you with posting totally random pointless things that neither are relative or make any sense.

Kuiper7986

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« Reply #1 on: June 28, 2004, 03:54:54 am »
You need to work on your grammar. Even when a story is written fast, it is easily understandable if the story is written grammatically correct. It\'s a good start but because of all the technical errors, some people might have trouble reading. No not Trouble the dog.
My name is NOT pronounced, \"Kway-per,\" it\'s pronounced \"Kye-per.\"

Cyberchu

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« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2004, 10:14:06 pm »
A great story continue it, plaese.
Under construction

It is through suggestions and critisisms that we improve our ideas

Remember to

Waylander

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« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2004, 12:51:57 pm »
You have the makings of a writer, but, you should put a reason for calling him trouble.  Like if the dog were to do something stupid or such.

I wish I had any talent at writing...but I do read a lot and so know a few things.
<Jeraphon>oh khado
<Jeraphon>you so khrazy

Xil|sleeps: I love cadoras

Waylander, A.K.A: Cadoras, Khado, Nurahk, Armeen, Nostra ... God.