No this isn\'t advertising for any mmorpg, this is yet another of my writings
I think I made enough observations about what was going around Planeshift and other online games to actually start this project. As, well, I decided to write a parody of life in a mmorpg. Wish me luck with getting the best of it, as I wish you fun in reading it.
Prologue Millions of colours spinning around in a lightning-fast dance of various shapes and ridiculous forms, in one moment surrounded his body, throwing him into the whirlwind of a new, yet to be discovered fate. Confusion, excitement, curiousity and even anxiety - all started storming his mind in one moment, creating a dangerous, explosive mixture, that at any time, might just burst forth and lead to unforeseeable behaviour.
He moved his hand towards the source of light, which on and on kept glittering cheerfully, as if trying to lure the still shocked visitor. The glowing colours started spinning around his arm, faster and faster, until the view could be no longer put up with. They stopped, sticked to his arm. Slowly the colours began moving further, taking over new parts of his body. The process was irritating, but also fascinating at the same time. It didn\'t take much time, before his whole consistence formed a perfect unity with the invading colours... A new form was created.
Just then a pitch darkness covered everything. He could not see, nor feel anything. Finally he found some time for the first reflections. Everything went on so fast, he hardly had any time to carefully plan his actions... It might bring awful results in the future, but the whirlwind was just too tempting... And where is he now? What will happen next? Is the \'next\' going to happen at all? Numerous thoughts gathered in his mind, leaving no space for rational thinking... And finally it happened, a calm, warm voice pierced through the overwhelming darkness.
\"Sir? Sir?!\" It was a great relief to hear it. Finally he could talk with someone, find out what just happened. From the tone of the voice, he could tell it was a man. But nothing more, it was simply too dark.
\"H-huh? What just... Where am I?\" The confusion was still in control, but the chaos in his mind slowly withered away. It was time to ask the first questions.
\"What would be your name, newcomer?\" The voice continued, as if not paying attention to his question. It was weird, but not nearly as weird as the rest of the things he just went through.
\"Huh? But...\" He still wanted to hear the answer to his question, but his will was too weak at that moment. He decided to just go with the stream. \"Erm, my name is Joe...\" He answered quietly.
\"Just Joe?\" The voice kept inquiring.
\"Uhh, right, just your average Joe.\" He didn\'t pay much attention, just hoped all this would end soon.
Suddenly the pitch darkness vanished, leaving only bright light that quickly made Joe close his, already used to the darkness, eyes.
\"Well then!\" The voice uttered. \"Joe Average, welcome to the Fantasy World Online!\"
Chapter I The weather was fine and the sun was sending its warm rays at his slightly tanned skin. Joe opened his eyes, curious where the recent oddities took him to. The light was still hurting him, but it wasn\'t causing blindness anymore; He could see the details.
Joe found himself standing on some island, surrounded by clean water and filled with lots of green trees. It wasn\'t big, getting to the nearby bridge was just a matter of seconds. Still, Joe didn\'t want to move on. After all the strange things that happened to him lately, he was happy to be standing in a normal place. Once his eyes accommodated to the light, he looked up to the sky. The clouds were strolling slowly, from time to time hiding the joyfully shining sun.
\"Sir?\" Suddenly the familiar voice interrupted his thoughts. He looked down into its direction; It was some young, dressed in a black suit man. He had dark, short hair and his face was filled with slightly suspicious enthusiasm. Joe didn\'t like it, but he decided to answer anyway.
\"Yes? Umm, where am I?\" He asked with a tint of fear in his voice.
\"Why, you just came to the Fantasy World Online! The biggest, the best, the most completed and the most avaricious online game in the world!\"
\"Huh?\"
\"We have the most advanced player base you will ever see, due to the fact that anyone can find something interesting for himself in here!\"
\"But...\"
\"Dark caves, high mountains, green forests, beautiful lakes and all that filled with fearful monsters and epic adventures. You\'ll have a great time no matter whether you\'re a hack&slasher or a role-player!\"
\"No, wait; What was that word?\" Joe finally managed to stop him.
\"What? The role-player?\" The man glanced at him with curiousity.
\"Who? No, no,\" Joe shook his head. \"Some other... Umm... The avaricious one.\"
\"Hmm? Oh, you probably misheard that.\" The man was about to carry on, when he got interrupted once again.
\"No, seriously, I have it in my log.\" Joe insisted on hearing the answer.
\"Actually, your logging is currently turned off. If you\'ll want to turn it on, I have some instructions here somewhe--\"
\"Look, it doesn\'t matter, I know what I heard,\" Joe was more and more annoyed. \"Now what was that about?\"
\"Hmm... Wait, ah, that!\" The man started laughing. \"I completely forgot, yes, we use that word in introduction. We do it in order to prevent new sueing cases from silly players that were pulled forward against our company. Nothing important, really... Now, about those instructions...\"
\"Ehh... Yea, right, whatever... I think I\'ll be going now.\" Said that, Joe moved towards the nearby bridge.
\"By reading our manual you\'ll feel like at home in no time,\" The man started walking after him. \"Starting from the introduction followed by the chapter one - \'known races\' and going all the way to the chapter one hundred seventy six - \'reasons why toilet is your friend\', by the end of the week you\'ll know absolutely everything about our game! And the best part is - it\'s all free!\"
\"Wait, what did you say?\" Joe\'s eyes wide-opened.
The bell above the doors jingled as Joe opened the doors and entered the tavern. He slowly walked a bit further, holding a big stack of books and without enthusiasm reading one of them.
\"Elves are one of the rarest races, they usually stay in their woodlands, making sure that no intruders find them. Physically they\'re tall and slender. The biggest difference between the genders is that male elves wear more make up than the female ones... This is all crap...\" He dropped all the books and took a look around the tavern. Quickly he noticed a muffin lying on the bar. He picked it up and turned to the crowd.
\"Hey! Anyone wants to help a noob?!\" Hearing the question, everyone turned in Joe\'s direction. There was a visible anger on their faces. \"Chill! I will pay for it, you know!\" Said that he took a bite of the muffin and moved forward.
There was a lot of people in the tavern. Joe could notice all sorts of races, from short halflings to the tall elves. Most of them were drinking various alcohol drinks and showing off with their deeds and their strength. Suddenly an elven woman approached him.
\"Hiya, so you must be new here?\" She asked with a wide smile.
\"Yea, about that muffin - I really will pay for it, I just don\'t have any money ye--\"
\"Oh, don\'t worry about it,\" She giggled. \"I just want to help you.\"
\"Oh,\" Joe sighed with relief. \"So can you give me money to pay for the muffin?\"
\"Err, I meant more like giving few hints, but sure, why not.\" She handed him a heap of coins.
\"Now about those hints,\" Joe hid the money into his pocket. \"What did you want to tell me?\"
\"Uhm...\" The woman glanced at his pocket \"Aren\'t you going to return the money to the barkeep?\"
\"Sure I\'m going to,\" Joe smiled slightly. \"If he\'ll ask for it. There\'s no point in wasting money if he didn\'t notice that I took it, right?\"
\"Right...\" The woman cocked an eyebrow and soon after glanced above the newcomer\'s head. \"Joe Average? Now that\'s a funny name...\"
\"What? How do you know my name...\" Joe stepped back. \"You witch!\"
\"Calm down, will you?\" She sighed \"You have it written above your head.\"
\"Huh?\" He looked up. \"I don\'t see it...\"
\"You have to activate it, but don\'t worry - I\'ll tell you how to do it.\" She smiled. \"Anyway, let\'s sit at some table, shall we?\"
\"Sure... Hmm... those guys over there seem like a nice bunch to sit by...\" He pointed in a direction of a loud group.
\"Joe...\" She sighed. \"Those people speak in numbers...\"
\"Yeah, cool, isn\'t it? I wanna learn that!\" He started approaching them, but soon after the elven woman pulled him backwards.
\"No! We\'ll sit in a quiet and peaceful place, Joe.\" She pulled him by the collar, making the newcomer choke for a moment.
\"Christ, lady... What did your parents feed you with? You almost strangled me there...\" Suddenly Joe got thrown onto a chair.
\"There...\" The woman clenched her fists, restraining herself from bursting out in anger. \"This seems... like a good place to sit... doesn\'t it?\"
\"Is that a vein on your forehead?\" He moved closer to her face. \"I think it is. You know, you should see a doctor, it seems to be pulsing stronger and stronger...\"
It didn\'t take long before the fist of the enraged woman smashed face of the curious newcomer. Joe fell over the chair and landed on the floor. Everything spinned for a while, before utter darkness covered his mind.
\"Joe? Joe?\"
\"Huh? What happened?\" He made an attempt to stand up. \"Ouch, my head.\"
\"Um, you fell from a chair,\" She giggled \"Silly you; But don\'t worry, I fully healed you.\"
\"You can do that?\" Joe finally managed to stand up.
\"Of course I can. I\'m a healer,\" The woman made a wide smile. \"Now let me teach you a few things, all right?\"
