Ok here are my words of advice:
a) Thinking you are finding a lifemate or training yourself to be faithful is just not a valid thought process here. You are learning how to have a personal relationship with someone--not training yourself to be faithful. Faithfulness comes from finding the right one, not from training.
b) This lifemate mentality is going to make you take things way too seriously with a girl. First you will be too picky. Then if you find one you like, you will think she is too perfect, put her on a pedestal, be scared of her and scare her off in the end. Your criteria should be \"someone with whom having a sandwich is better than having a sandwich alone\" at this stage. Just find any girl that seems ok and talk to her.
c) Remember that girls at the beach want to meet boys too (the ones not there with boys already). They don\'t have the freedom you do to just walk up and start talking to you. You, as the guy, are much more expected in the role of pursuer and you should use that to your advantage. I\'ve always felt sorry for the girl who felt she couldn\'t ask guys out and yet never got asked out herself...what are her options?
d) Point \"c\" means that if you go up and talk to girls, you are doing what they want. :-) This means you have a chance. This also means you don\'t need much of a pretext, like a ball hitting them or whatever. Just walk up and say \"hi\". Have a list of other questions so it isn\'t just dead silent after she says hi back. Positive things not negative things. If you say \"This beach sucks\" she will think you are a jerk and shut you down. Things like \"I\'m ____, what\'s your name?\" or \"Where are you from?\", \"Isn\'t the water great on such a hot day?\" or whatever. No matter how she answers, be positive back. She says \"I\'m from ____\" you say \"Oh that is a cool town. I like the Taco Bell there.\" or something.
e) Testing the waters before walking up. Get somewhere in sight of her and see if you can make eye contact. If she is interested in you, she will MAKE SURE to make eye contact with you. This is a girl\'s main way of fishing for guys, since she can\'t exactly wave and shout for you to come over. :-) If she makes eye contact, hold it a second and look away. Then look back and if you catch her eye again and you both smile, then you\'re in for sure. If she avoids eye contact with you, she probably doesn\'t like you and doesn\'t want to give the impression she is inviting you over. If she avoids eye contact with everyone, that is a possibility but also may be surmountable. Some great girls just don\'t seem that approachable--but really are.
f) If you have a conversation with a girl like in point \"d\" and it seems like it went ok for a minute or two, but then it dies down, remember that she is as uncomfortable as you are! :-) In that case, change the situation. Just get up and say \"Hey it was cool talking with you. My parents might bitch if I don\'t go back over there soon... See you.\" or \"I was about to get some drinks... would you like a Coke too?\" or \"My brother is waiting on me. I\'ll come by and talk to you a little bit later ok?\" You can say these in a way (hesitating a bit) to give her the opportunity to stop you but if she doesn\'t, you just learned some more. She could a) want you to finally leave and you just made a graceful exit, b) want you to stay, and now will be more eager for your return, c) offer to come with you to get a drink, etc. If you leave and say you\'ll come back, wait till a good moment to invite her somewhere (like lunch, or to play frisbee) or bring her something. Then that gives you something new to talk about and something for her to like about you.
Women are much more subtle than men (esp as teenagers) because they are always reading these BS magazines that tell them what to do in these situations. :-) We don\'t have those, so you just have to read the signals. If she sends off positive vibes, she likes you and if she doesn\'t, she doesn\'t. If she sends off signals you aren\'t sure of, she probably doesn\'t.
Obvious signs she likes you: smiling, eye contact, tossing hair, flipping hair, combing hair, asking you to rub lotion on her. :-) (Smiling and eye contact are things chick mags always talk about that guys never notice, while playing with hair is a universal subconscious thing that doesn\'t have to be taught.)
Signs she doesn\'t like you: looking off to the side a lot (wants to escape), covering her body or her boobs--crossing her arms, etc. Making eye contact with her friend next to her, which is a way of calling for help sometimes. Telling you to go away. :-)
I love this subject. Let\'s talk more about it. :-)
- Vengeance
p.s. The game arcade idea sux. Every girl there is with a guy.
