Chapter IX
"Kill me? Just like that?" Unitearica tilted his head. "Shouldn't we first have some cookies?"
"I'm afraid it's not cookies we'll have right now." Monketh drew his sword. "It'll be your head!"
"I wouldn't mind a cookie, actually." Faldrok scratched his head.
"Shadap, Faldork!" Seperot scorned him and right after turned to Unitearica. "We hed soem pie, but im afreid rait now its after our cammen friend."
"You won't get the storymaker." Unitearica shook his head. "Over my dead body."
"Fer enaf." Seperot shrugged.
"Fight!" Monketh slashed at Unitearica, but not fast enough to strike the enusually agile Ylian. He lashed out with a few more missed blows, yet eventually Unitearica used his forearm to block the sword.
"May I have a try?" The Ylian grinned and took a hold of his enemy's weapon, right after knocking him down with a thrusting kick.
"Get up, yuo wuss!" yelled Seperot.
Monketh slowly stood up and dusted himself off. "Look who's talking. The one who had his ass kicked by a little Moogie."
"Did I ask you for an opinien?!"
"He does have a point though, boss." Faldrok nodded.
"Faldie?" Seperot smiled.
"Yes, Seppie?" Faldrok smiled back.
"Why in the bloody name of Venge's yelow pajamas arent you faiting?!!"
For a moment Faldrok stared blankly at the rogue. "They're yellow?"
"Ya, their yellew, Falderk," answered Seperot. "Yelew with pink stripes on top and bleu elephants on the bottem... Does that felfil yuor curiesity?!"
"Actually, no. How do you know all this?"
"We had a sleepover party. Playd truth or dare and had a pillew fight."
"You what..?!"
"Get into the goddem fait, yuo imbecail!!"
"Hey, guys?" suddenly Monketh interrupted them. "How about a little help here?" The two turned in his direction, just to see their friend leaning against the wall, now covered with many a wound. "And Faldrok..." Monketh continued. "Seperot is pulling your leg. They're blue."
"We better speed up lest they catch the storymaker!" exclaimed Draklar.
"Gotcha!" Karyuu grinned, exposing her sharp teeth. From her equipment she pulled out a large axe.
"Wait, wait, wait." Draklar stopped "What's that?"
Karyuu blinked. "A battle-axe?"
"And just about what do you think you're going to do with it?"
"Um. Chop the bad guys..?"
"I'm afraid I cannot let you do that."
Karyuu arched an eyebrow. "Oh, this gotta be good."
Draklar grabbed the axe. "In the vital chase scenes it's only the main heroes who are to use the flashy weapons."
"So what am I supposed to kill them with? My cold stare?" The Enkidukai rolled her eyes.
"Hero sidekicks may use this." He handed her a stick.
"Ohh, a stick! Well thank you so much!" Karyuu cherished the stick. "How many battles would have been lost if it wasn't for the mighty short sticks! How many warriors would wind up in oblivion if no stick protected their dear lives! How many tales have been thus far told about the brave deeds of the stick-bearers!"
"Glad you like it." Draklar smiled.
"Have you gone mad?! It's a fricking stick! What in the name of Verrliit's dirty socks do you expect me to do with it? Am I supposed to use it to poke people all the way until they get bored and go away?! Or maybe throw it at them and run away screaming like a little girl, should they refuse to trip over?!" Karyuu panted for a while. "What kind of fighting value do you think it has?!"
"...It's pointy."
She mock-gasped. "It's pointy, he says! Well that changes so much, really Draklar. Thank you for enlightening me with those grand words of wisdom. What darkness would I befall into should you not bring this utmost important fact upon my petty mind?! Thank you! Thank you so much!"
Draklar blinked. "...You're welcome"
Karyuu continued. "Hey! I'm Draklar and I am the master of EVERYTHING! My knowledge is superior! I should be PRAISED! Without me, your community will DIE! Your fees are KILLING Planeshift! BLAH BLAH BLAH! LOOK AT ME, I HAVE TEETH AND EAT STUFF!"
Draklar threw a glare at Karyuu. "You know what? I don't think you're really thanking me at all. In fact, I think under all those kind words you're hiding something that is less as much kind. It seems you aren't ready to wield the power of the stick." Said that, he took back the stick.
"I chant beleiv these imbeicales, cant do nothing wrong," said Seperot while checking his set of katanas. "Haev to do evrything on my own... Lets see now..." He began inspecting one after another. "Darklaw, Suzy, Darkwhite, Mike, Darksteel, Bobo, Darkbatnativyl, Diana... Ah, here it is... the Darkstorm Blade!"
"So, Faldrok, isn't it?" Unitearica smirked. "Do you too want to have your ass kicked, or would you like to pull back?"
"What I'd like to do," answered Faldrok. "Is to introduce you to my little friends." Said that, he pulled out a bag of something.
"Candies?" Unitearica arched an eyebrow.
"Something of the sort, yes."
"Sugar Wh*res." Monketh chuckled. "Now you're done for."
"Sugar what..?" Unitearica turned back to Faldrok, just to see him spreading sugar from the bag all around himself.
"You know..." Unitearica shook his head. "You people never cease to fr--"
"Rise!" yelled Faldrok, giving a beginning to five Sugar Golems, which in fact looked like Kran models with changed textures.
Unitearica tilted his head. "Whoa..."
"He's... Mine!" Hearing these words, Dorbian turned around, but before he could react, Karyuu pounced onto him, pinning the beast to the ground.
"Good job, Kary!" said Draklar while passing next to the two. "You take care of Dorbian, while I go after Newpie!"
"Give me back my damn axe, Draklar!"
"No!"
"Well at least give me that stupid stick! ... Bah! Well finger to you too!" Karyuu slowly moved her eyesight down to Dorbian.
"I'm sorry, babe." Dorbian grinned. "You may be cute, but you're not dead enough for me."
Karyuu arched an eyebrow.
"Though we can change that!" Said that, Dorbian pushed Karyuu with full force, getting her off from himself. After a while both slowly stood up.
Karyuu sighed. "Well I might just as well try it..." She started staring coldly at Dorbian.
"Iiiiiii!" screamed Under the moon while running away from Newpie.
"Come here, girlie." The beast grinned. "It's not going to hurt... Not me, at least..."
"Newpie!" He heard Draklar's voice from behind. "In the name of my axe, I order you to cease your foul chase after this poor sheeples soul! Here and now, hear my words! There will be no shaft between you and me,"
Newpie arched an eyebrow.
"but cold and sharpened STEEL! By the power of blood and all that is righteous, I shall swing my blade with might! I shall sweep the dirt off this world! I shall right all wrongs! In this day, I shall put an end to your filthy life! So. Are you ready to die?!"
"Are you ready to see my Stuff?!" answered Newpie.
"Wha..?" Draklar arched an eyebrow.
"Here goes!" Newpie rapidly moved his hands to his pants.
"No, no!" Draklar covered his eyes. "Don't do that!"
"Dingily, dingily, dong! Look at me Draklar! I'm Stuffing all around!"
"Stop this at once, Newpie! ... Newpie? ... Newpie, are you there..?"
"Why are you staring at me like that, Kary?" Dorbian tilted his head. "Is it because I pushed you, or something?" He winced, but Karyuu was still staring coldly at him. "What?! Was me calling you babe offensive in any way? Or is it about myself wanting to kill you? C'mon, you know I didn't really mean it... You know, right? ... ... Oh c'mon!! What do you want from me? I only did it, because Seperot asked me to! Look, I'm not really a bad guy. I just, you know, like to play one... Why can't we just shake hands and get all along? ... ... What?! What else do you want me to say? I'm sorry, okay?! I won't do that again! I'm really, really sorry, Karyuu! Oh ffs! This is getting REALLY retarded, you know? ... Screw you guys, I'm going home..." Said that, Dorbian walked away.
Karyuu arched an eyebrow. "What the hell just happened?" She blinked... twice. "Draklar!" Said that she rushed onward.
"Neeeewpie... I know you're there. Standing all naked and stuff... Stuff, I mean. You won't trick me into uncovering my eyes!"
"Draklar..." Karyuu scratched her head. "What in heaven's name are you doing..?"
"No Karyuu! Don't look!"
"Wha?"
"Cover your eyes, now!!"
She did as he said. "So why are we playing hide and seek now?"
"Newpie is exposing his Stuff."
"I beg your pardon?"
"His... equipment."
"Eh?"
"You know, pee-wee..."
"..."
"Penis, Karyuu! He's showing his penis!"
"Drak..." Karyuu uncovered her eyes.
"Yes?"
"I assure you Planeshift models don't have private areas implemented... yet."
For a while standing motionless, Draklar then slowly moved his hands away from his eyes.
"Drak..?" Karyuu tilted her head, seeing Draklar's blank stare. After a while he started slightly shaking. "Drak?!" She moved a bit away as he clenched his fists and rage started covering his face.
"Newpie..." he growled.
"Oh boy..."
