PlaneShift
Fan Area => The Hydlaa Plaza => Topic started by: Nurahk on January 27, 2007, 10:11:47 pm
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I did a couple searches, nothing popped up.
Either way, I was at a house party the other night and it was my friends birthday. Long story short, he got birthday beats, tons of them, I actualy had to step in and stop them.
Now, when my birthday comes along, I don't get the beats. I get free booze, presents, hugs, kisses, more free booze.
This puzzles me, my friend is a nice guy, well built. I'm an insult spewing brat who barely works out and keeps barely fit. Yet, I get tons of respect, unbelievable amounts. People come up to me and ask me what to do, people trust me with their problems, people step out of my way.
Anyways, the question is, what is respect? How do you get it?
My personal opinion is that you get more respected when you respect others as "lessers" and can back it up.
I'd like to see what you people think. Mainly Zanzibar and Emerald, for some odd reason.
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In the case of beats, it's usually less due to respect and more due to the fact that they know you'll give them back :P
As for respect, it varies from person to person on how you get it. For me, I respect people for their ability and actions (even if I don't like those actions or the results of those actions). However, the ability or actions usually have to be impressive (not just something any person can get up and do). I don't attach like or dislike to respect.
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I would not know, I'm pretty much a loner :/.
Anyway people who tend to make themselves known, get noticed by more people. People who just stand back dont get noticed as much.
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Being respected is not the same thing as being well known, being well liked, being admired, or being feared.
I tend to respect people who treat others as equals. I also tend to feel respect for people who speak with maturity, sincerity, and insight, and people who act wisely rather than impulsively. One could argue that this is all more or less the same thing, but I think it all comes together to create something above the sum of the parts. You could also argue that things like "maturity" and "insight" are incredibly subjective, but if the question is what brings you to respect someone, then it's your personal values that matter.
Nurahk's question was "How does one gain the respect of others?". I think that it depends on who you're dealing with. With the situation at the party that Nurahk described, I might say that gaining respect means standing up for yourself without putting down others. Knowing what needs to be said and when to say it. Knowing when to take a punch also comes into it, but it depends on who you're trying to impress. If a bunch of guys come and kick the snot out of you, people who see it happen might develope a greater sense of respect for you if you stand up after it with your head held high. The guys who beat you up may fear you, but fear is not the same as respect.
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I'd like to see what you people think. Mainly Zanzibar and Emerald, for some odd reason.
Haha, you just wanna watch us argue :P
This puzzles me, my friend is a nice guy, well built. I'm an insult spewing brat who barely works out and keeps barely fit. Yet, I get tons of respect, unbelievable amounts. People come up to me and ask me what to do, people trust me with their problems, people step out of my way.
Anyways, the question is, what is respect? How do you get it?
My personal opinion is that you get more respected when you respect others as "lessers" and can back it up.
Hehe, we call 'em 'Birthday Bashings'
I dunno, personally I find the concept of 'respect' to be a bit of a grey-area. Is it fear, or reverence, or simply acknowledgment of one's character? For me, I respect people for their personality - I like friendly people, and view unfriendly or sadistic people as lesser human beings... (Oddly enough, morals aren't that important to me. I'd be best friends with a criminal if he was a nice guy...)
Anyway, I'm inclined to agree with Xordan - you don't birthday-bash someone unless you like them and you feel comfortable doing so.
If people are avoiding someone, it's more likely because they're getting anti-social vibes off them, rather than doing it out of respect. ('Course it sounds like that don't apply to you, with people actively confiding in you and all that)
I also tend to feel respect for people who speak with maturity, sincerity, and insight, and people who act wisely rather than impulsively.
Edit: Geez, now I see why I annoy Zanzi so much :P
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I often disagree with what you say, and I think you sometimes word things without regard to something or other I feel you should be sensitive to. It's just differences of opinion on the most part.
If someone tried to give me a birthday beating, they'd be on the floor in some sort of lock rather quickly. That's just me though.
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I often disagree with what you say, and I think you sometimes word things without regard to something or other I feel you should be sensitive to. It's just differences of opinion on the most part.
If someone tried to give me a birthday beating, they'd be on the floor in some sort of lock rather quickly. That's just me though.
I disagree with what you say because most of what you say is designed to win arguments and appear intelligent and knowledgeable, rather than warm and friendly :P
And if 12 people tried to give you birthday bashings, you'd be pretty screwed, mon amie ;D
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I never really grasped the concept of respect. I never think of people I personally know in terms of respect. I can like or dislike people, or consider them friends or not. Respect is something I rather connect with actions, or with people who I only know by their actions.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_DZ3_obMXwU
Oh, and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJeRlyxG2eg
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I agree with zanzibar that fear isn't respect... many people seem to think it is though.
Earning the respect depends on who you're dealing with, if it's someone who'd been an outcast all his life he'd probably respect that you are who you are from the start... and that you're different... I'd have to think a bit more and not be tired to tell about other ways to earn respect <.< and not be missing pips :p
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In my group of freinds I'm respected I guess. Other than that I'm a loner. But i seem to have some level of respect. people dont bug me, the ones that try stop after a short while and cant look me in the eyes. Then again most people who dont know me seem uneasy around me hehe. You can see it in their eyes. maybe thats why. I tend to look people strait inthe eye. I dont think people are used to that, you can look at them, you can look them in the face, but in the eyes is a differant matter all together.
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I think respect is envy to a degree. You see that they are better than you and you respect them, and that may even be you see they aren't as good as you at something but they take that fact better than you would, so you envy and respect them.
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I think respect is envy to a degree. You see that they are better than you and you respect them, and that may even be you see they aren't as good as you at something but they take that fact better than you would, so you envy and respect them.
It can be, but there are other reasons why you might respect someone other than them just being better than you at something. Does that mean that if I'm better than you at everything that I automatically don't respect you?
I respect the dead. Does that mean I envy the dead? Does that mean I think the dead are cool people (no pun intended :P), or that I'm afraid the dead are going to come back and get me if I diss them? No, I respect them because that's what my parents taught me to do.
I think respect can come from anywhere, but stems from your personality.
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You respect them because you where told to respect them by someone you respect... So why do you respect your parents?
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You respect them because you where told to respect them by someone you respect... So why do you respect your parents?
I don't, really :P
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You respect them because you where told to respect them by someone you respect... So why do you respect your parents?
There's a difference between respecting someone and being obedient to that person.
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You respect them because you where told to respect them by someone you respect... So why do you respect your parents?
There's a difference between respecting someone and being obedient to that person.
Pretty much.
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Either way, I was at a house party the other night and it was my friends birthday. Long story short, he got birthday beats, tons of them, I actualy had to step in and stop them.
Now, when my birthday comes along, I don't get the beats. I get free booze, presents, hugs, kisses, more free booze.
I'm not sure this really has anything to do with respect. Does this friend of your take part in these "birthday beats" when it is someone elses birthday? That's usually the case of, if you do it, other people are going to do it to you.
My personal opinion is that you get more respected when you respect others as "lessers" and can back it up.
I wish I had more time to say why exactly this is completely wrong, but I have to go to work. Maybe once I get off, if I remember.
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I wish I had more time to say why exactly this is completely wrong, but I have to go to work. Maybe once I get off, if I remember.
It's wrong because people won't respect you for it. Instead, they'll resent you and see you as a snot nosed jerk. They'll be looking forward to your fall, they'll joke about your attitude, etc and so on.
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I wish I had more time to say why exactly this is completely wrong, but I have to go to work. Maybe once I get off, if I remember.
It's wrong because people won't respect you for it. Instead, they'll resent you and see you as a snot nosed jerk. They'll be looking forward to your fall, they'll joke about your attitude, etc and so on.
Psch, and you're slagging me for being insensitive? :P
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You respect them because you where told to respect them by someone you respect... So why do you respect your parents?
There's a difference between respecting someone and being obedient to that person.
Boss is obeyed by all, when he is nearby, everyone courteously greet him and kiss his *** . Then during the job, while the boss is away(this is common specially in the case of obedience through intimidation):
__He is a jerk! I wish I could get another job as I can't stand him!
__Yes Bill, he is a :@#\ , I wish I could say it straight at his face!
__Don't worry pal, one day we will have the chance of teaching that ******* a lesson!
__Quiet! He is coming!
That explains pretty well the difference between real respect and imposed "respect". (Well it's tough to describe this without using expletives, but all are covered up, so those who know them will guess, those who don't, won't know)
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Sigh, pretty much every boss I've ever had has been like that, and almost every single one has either fired me after a heated argument, or driven me to quit :P
I'm a bit of a rebel... :whistling:
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I did a couple searches, nothing popped up.
Either way, I was at a house party the other night and it was my friends birthday. Long story short, he got birthday beats, tons of them, I actualy had to step in and stop them.
Now, when my birthday comes along, I don't get the beats. I get free booze, presents, hugs, kisses, more free booze.
This puzzles me, my friend is a nice guy, well built. I'm an insult spewing brat who barely works out and keeps barely fit. Yet, I get tons of respect, unbelievable amounts. People come up to me and ask me what to do, people trust me with their problems, people step out of my way.
Anyways, the question is, what is respect? How do you get it?
My personal opinion is that you get more respected when you respect others as "lessers" and can back it up.
I'd like to see what you people think. Mainly Zanzibar and Emerald, for some odd reason.
i try to respect everyone at first, cause we are all deserving of it
however i lose my respect for someone when they dont stick to what they say and go behind my back
i have respect for those that have a good head on their shoulders and do what they say theyll do...modesty but not too much is also nice.
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i try to respect everyone at first, cause we are all deserving of it
however i lose my respect for someone when they dont stick to what they say and go behind my back
i have respect for those that have a good head on their shoulders and do what they say theyll do...modesty but not too much is also nice.
You can treat someone with respect without actually respecting them...
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oh no i agree zanzibar. i act courteously towards those i dont respect, but i dont pretend to.
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Either way, I was at a house party the other night and it was my friends birthday. Long story short, he got birthday beats, tons of them, I actualy had to step in and stop them.
Now, when my birthday comes along, I don't get the beats. I get free booze, presents, hugs, kisses, more free booze.
I'm not sure this really has anything to do with respect. Does this friend of your take part in these "birthday beats" when it is someone elses birthday? That's usually the case of, if you do it, other people are going to do it to you.
My personal opinion is that you get more respected when you respect others as "lessers" and can back it up.
I wish I had more time to say why exactly this is completely wrong, but I have to go to work. Maybe once I get off, if I remember.
The birthday beats were overdone is what I was saying. It started off as it usualy does and then just escalated.
As for the second part, I'm beginning to believe that more and more. You still respect the person but do not halt their development of an inferiority complex. Be nice to them but make it seem that they should be happy you are being nice to them, proud even.
All the same, I posted this because I want you people to prove me wrong, so please, go ahead.
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Boss is obeyed by all, when he is nearby, everyone courteously greet him and kiss his *** . Then during the job, while the boss is away(this is common specially in the case of obedience through intimidation):
__He is a jerk! I wish I could get another job as I can't stand him!
__Yes Bill, he is a :@#\ , I wish I could say it straight at his face!
__Don't worry pal, one day we will have the chance of teaching that ******* a lesson!
__Quiet! He is coming!
That explains pretty well the difference between real respect and imposed "respect". (Well it's tough to describe this without using expletives, but all are covered up, so those who know them will guess, those who don't, won't know)
That was pretty much the exact example I was going to give to add on to what zanzibar said. Though you probably said it better..
As for the second part, I'm beginning to believe that more and more. You still respect the person but do not halt their development of an inferiority complex. Be nice to them but make it seem that they should be happy you are being nice to them, proud even.
All the same, I posted this because I want you people to prove me wrong, so please, go ahead.
We can't actually prove you wrong, that will only happen through experience. And also, while these people might "respect" you, treating them this way will keep them from getting closer to you. I think people have always put too much emphasis on respect and I don't think anyone deserves respect until they prove they should have it. In the end it all depends on the people you talk to I guess...because I know if anyone treated me the way you described, bad things will happen
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oh no i agree zanzibar. i act courteously towards those i dont respect, but i dont pretend to.
Yeah, that's pretty obvious, at least with me :P
Smartarses just don't get respected 'round here... :'(
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not that i dont respect you...youre just one of the few thats able to conjure up my temper so fast
:love: :flowers:
ehehhehe but sometimes its nice to get that adrenaline ;)
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It's probably a good thing. It takes me longer to piss Kalika off, but when I do, it's much more violent.
:'(
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awww zanz...i sorrys for bein mean :flowers:/me huggles
Zanzibar
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/me is huggled.
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not that i dont respect you...youre just one of the few thats able to conjure up my temper so fast
:love: :flowers:
Aww, that's sweet. You have no idea how much that means to me :P
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eheheheh i hope you feel all proud...but not too proud ehehehhe :-P
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You respect them because you where told to respect them by someone you respect... So why do you respect your parents?
There's a difference between respecting someone and being obedient to that person.
Boss is obeyed by all, when he is nearby, everyone courteously greet him and kiss his *** . Then during the job, while the boss is away(this is common specially in the case of obedience through intimidation):
__He is a jerk! I wish I could get another job as I can't stand him!
__Yes Bill, he is a :@#\ , I wish I could say it straight at his face!
__Don't worry pal, one day we will have the chance of teaching that ******* a lesson!
__Quiet! He is coming!
That explains pretty well the difference between real respect and imposed "respect". (Well it's tough to describe this without using expletives, but all are covered up, so those who know them will guess, those who don't, won't know)
But would you respect the dead if your boss told you to? I doubt that you actualy respect the dead because your parents taught you to emerald. Probably just your own want for respect when you are dead... or somthing.
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But would you respect the dead if your boss told you to? I doubt that you actualy respect the dead because your parents taught you to emerald. Probably just your own want for respect when you are dead... or somthing.
Actually, I plan to make my funeral into a massive joke... :P
But really, your parents teach you almost everything you believe in, whether indirectly, or directly. And my parents either shouted at me or started crying (father and mother, respectively) if I ever joked about somebody's death...
In fact, that's how they dealt with most problems concerning me... :'(
Which, in turn, led me to not respect them...
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that doesnt sound like you respect the dead, sound like you are scared of disrespecting them.
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that doesnt sound like you respect the dead, sound like you are scared of disrespecting them.
There's a difference?
I dunno, maybe it was a bad example. The point is, there's many ways you can respect someone, and many ways you can disrespect them. And people will respect other people for different reasons.
Personally I think the reason nobody screws around with Nurahk is because he doesn't want to be screwed around with, and they respect him enough to conform to his wishes. Other people might not care if they get birthday-bashed, and so those people get screwed around with. There's no difference in respect between them.
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I don't think that Emerald knows the difference between respect and fear...
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I don't think that Emerald knows the difference between respect and fear...
Like I said: I'm not afraid of the dead, and I'm not afraid of my parents.
I believe what I believe because it is inherent in my psyche.
Just like you believe it's perfectly acceptable to follow people around and contradict everything they say regardless of your personal opinion :P I'm betting you had oppressive parents, or grew up with a bunch of siblings who always forced their opinions on you and argued everything you said.
(This is the part where you contradict that ;D)
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I believe what I believe because it is inherent in my psyche.
Balderdash. Thats just saying "i respect the dead cos i do" which is rather narrow minded and has nothing to do with respect.
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Balderdash. Thats just saying "i respect the dead cos i do" which is rather narrow minded and has nothing to do with respect.
It's also convenient because it means you don't have to justify it.
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I believe what I believe because it is inherent in my psyche.
Balderdash. Thats just saying "i respect the dead cos i do" which is rather narrow minded and has nothing to do with respect.
No, I've already said I respect the dead because my parents told me raised me that way. If someone says "respect the dead, boy!" your entire life, it becomes inherent in your psyche. And then you 'just do'.
It's the same reason people cringe when you say 'f***'. F*** is just 4 symbols connected together in series. Yet 'kufc' doesn't make people cringe because they weren't shouted at by their parents whenever they say it (if people actually went around saying 'kufc' :P).
There's people in their 40s who have left home and barely write to their parents, yet they'd still be hesitant to say 'f***'. Is it out of respect for their parents? Fear of them?
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We don't say F*** because in our language it is an insult so we dont say it because we respect the people we are talking to. The world would still be flat if everyone was as narrow minded as you.
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We don't say F*** because in our language it is an insult so we dont say it because we respect the people we are talking to. The world would still be flat if everyone was as narrow minded as you.
Yeah, but who taught you 'f***' was an insult? In German, the word 'Fotze' is extremely offensive, but I'm sure it means nothing to you (assuming you're not German :innocent:), because nobody ever taught you not to say it. That doesn't mean it's not offensive - if you ever said that in the presense of a German he'd kick your ass.
The point is, now that I told you that 'Fotze' is incredibly offensive, will the sound of the word now conjure the same feelings as if I said 'f***'? If someone called you a Fotze, would you react the same way as if someone called you a 'f****r'?
I'm thinking not, because the word 'Fotze' and its connotations are not inherent in your psyche.
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Well thats because i dont know what it means, when i do, yes, i will be offened if i am called one. Nothing to do with it being "inherent in my psyche" its just having the knowledge of what it means. Its not the word thats bad, its what is ment by it. Anywho, its all sticks and stones my friend.
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The way we commonly hear f*** is with, what we recognise as, a tone of anger or I-don't-respect-you-ism. Its quite natural, therefore, that when we read it we are reminded of those thoughts regardless of our understanding of its meanings. How many people here actually know what it means and its origins? It doesn't make a difference if we understand its meaning or not. What makes the difference is understanding what the person is trying to get across, and weather its offencive or not.
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Wow, a thread i actually read more than the first line of before replying. gz cadoras :p
tbh, im quite the loner so dont know much about people respecting me.
two people that come to mind when talking about respect, will prolly sound quite sad to some of you, are:
First officer in my WoW guild, he's truely brilliant. The effort he puts into the running of the guild, 'protecting' and 'looking after' memebers and our rep its fantastic. Any posts he makes on class/realm forums get instant acclaim too. And after all that he's still about to have fun with.
Second, my analysis lecturer. He's just fantastic. end of. Scottish guy, quite youngish. Most maths lecturers seem to have undergone a charisma bypass but i look forward to this guys lectures at nine in the morning. You get the impression that the rest of the class feels the same.
both these people i run out of reasons why i respect them, just know that i do :p
some people i dont respect yet a lot of people prolly do, the army, quite a few others dickheads and bono.
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Well thats because i dont know what it means, when i do, yes, i will be offened if i am called one. Nothing to do with it being "inherent in my psyche" its just having the knowledge of what it means. Its not the word thats bad, its what is ment by it. Anywho, its all sticks and stones my friend.
You'll be offended, but you wont be offended as much as if I called you something that you were groomed to react to. For example - that post containing the word Fotze wasn't removed, even though I told everyone how offensive it was. There's German-speakers around, and it should have been removed, but none of the moderators were particularly offended by it, so it was left there.
The way we commonly hear f*** is with, what we recognise as, a tone of anger or I-don't-respect-you-ism. Its quite natural, therefore, that when we read it we are reminded of those thoughts regardless of our understanding of its meanings. How many people here actually know what it means and its origins? It doesn't make a difference if we understand its meaning or not. What makes the difference is understanding what the person is trying to get across, and weather its offencive or not.
Paro's right. The meaning of the word makes no difference - it's the emotions it draws up in you, the 'tone of anger and disrespect' you associate with the word. In other words, the psychological reaction it triggers.
If you got it in your head that 'Noodle-doodle' was incredibly offensive, you'd react to it the same as if I said 'f***'.
Language in itself is just sounds we make with our mouthes that trigger psychological reactions - I make the sound 'fish', and you get a picture in your mind of a scaly, squirming creature of the sea. I make the sound 'I love you', and you're filled with emotions.
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Its difficult to imagine a world without language. I think that we all take it for grated. There is a great book, I don't know if its available abroad but it's by a coloumist for the Irish Times about the origins of various words. It's called The Words We Use. It comes strongly recomended for anyone with an interest.