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Author Topic: For all you people who write vague bug reports  (Read 1362 times)

Vengeance

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For all you people who write vague bug reports
« on: March 03, 2005, 04:36:08 am »
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a \"gripe  sheet, \" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The  mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form,  and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never  let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.

Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas\'  pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S)  by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an  accident. . . . Enjoy!

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.  S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.  S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.  S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.  S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute  descent.  S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.  S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.  S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.  S: That\'s what they\'re for.

P: IFF inoperative.  S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.  S: Suspect you\'re right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.  S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.   S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.  S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.  S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last. . .

P. Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget  pounding on something with a hammer.  S: Took hammer away from midget
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windwalker

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« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2005, 05:26:14 am »
i cant stop laughing


P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.  

 :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D  :D
« Last Edit: March 03, 2005, 05:26:26 am by windwalker »
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davo

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« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2005, 07:14:05 am »
lol i love these humour posts instead of some of the other \"micelaniouse\" threads.

wow Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident ?  arnt they an auzzie airline ?  and they fill out crap like this ? lol !!!

nice work, ill post some simlar stuff like this when i find it
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Harkin

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« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2005, 12:12:44 pm »
hilarious! whew.... midget with a hammer... lol... these guys are funny...
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Foresteer

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« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2005, 02:43:30 pm »
Nice find :) i liked the midget one best :P
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RussianVodka

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« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2005, 09:07:23 pm »
The proper term for a midget with a hammer that breaks aircraft is - gremlin.

If I get those kinds of comments back after reporting serious issues, I wouldn\'t feel too safe flying.
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faldrok

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« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2005, 01:28:29 am »
Haha, those are pretty funny. Isn\'t it odd how most straight, common answers are the funniest? Some people just try too hard to be funny, and then they fail. My favorite would have to be:

P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

It reminds me of \"PlaneShift Crystal Blue works best with your computer ON.\" :D

The midget and Engine 3 ones are also very funny.
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Icefalcon

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« Reply #7 on: March 04, 2005, 01:56:15 am »
Heh, very funny. Had a good laugh with this one.

Quote
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.
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Rallelalli

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« Reply #8 on: March 04, 2005, 02:54:50 am »
I loved that, as a maintence chief in the service many years ago, I know how some people can report problems and those solutions are great.

I am still laughing.
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Monketh

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« Reply #9 on: March 04, 2005, 03:07:11 am »
That is awesome! :D
Quote

P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed.
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Efflixi Aduro

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« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2005, 04:14:51 am »
Ha ha these are great :)
They can\'t be real though can they? O.o
*makes sure to never fly on a Qantas plane*
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Exaero_Fiero

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« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2005, 07:11:27 am »
I can\'t believe, that airplane pilots can write such an idiocy... They must have at least some intelligence...
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AryHann

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« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2005, 07:13:42 am »
Nice Post ;-)

If it was a \"subliminar\" way for making the people writing better bug reports, I would rather suggest a little document with \"rules\" on how to do that, in the bugtracker page :-)
Maybe not everybody can read them, but at least somebody will get scared ;-D


Ary
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AryHann

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Phinehas

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« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2005, 08:56:17 am »
What a total crack-up!!! I burst out laughing on several of them, I haven\'t done that in ages! Thanks for the great laughs, I needed them.
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