Root, schmoot. Personally, I find that blood sacrifices to /dev/null - the great devourer of all things, keeps my Linux system happy.
Now that you have seen the light, dont go too overboard with zeal and join the Church of Emacs, whatever you do.. I mean, would you trust your immortal soul to St IGNUcius:

(I apologise in advance to those who now feel compelled to scour their eyeballs clean with bleach)