Author Topic: The Labyrinth (a parody) staring Moogie. (Done reformating. Read it again. Now.)  (Read 14397 times)

Zan

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« Reply #60 on: July 10, 2005, 10:49:33 am »
Witty and hilarious .. great work :D
Zan Drithor, Member of the Vaalnor Council
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Moogie

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Re:
« Reply #61 on: July 13, 2005, 07:40:45 pm »
Xordan should have been in this, but I figured I'd torture Moon a bit. ;) It's not nearly as evil as I had planned, but what can I say... I'm just too nice. :D Enjoy~


Scene Sixteen.
~As the Moon Falls Down~


The little snowglobe expands quickly, encompassing everything around Moogie. She watches in amazement as she is whisked inside, strawberry and Moon figurine in hand, to a large hall. The room is beautifully decorated, with long satin drapes across the marble walls and long, elegant tables laid out with food, so delicious-looking that it defies all possible description. I won't try to describe it. Trust me, the second your eyes would fall upon such a description, your stomach would leap out and throw itself repeatedly against the screen in an attempt to reach it. And then you'd have to clean up the mess. I'm just being kind here.

Moogie, gasping in delight- "Oh my god! My wildest dreams have come true!! All this food for me!"

Because you know, apparently not only am I writing this, but I'm also inside the scene.

Moogie, existing in two places at once- "Funny that, isn't it?"

Quite, as long as it doesn't cause a paradox and destroy life as we know it.

Moogie- "With food this good, who cares?"

Moogie, deciding the food is henceforth more interesting than anything else in the world (even the danger of ripping apart the very fabric of existence), quickly squishes the little figure of Moon inside the strawberry and dismissively throws it over her shoulder. But before she can trip over herself running like a possessed crazy woman towards the mouthwatering buffet, people of all shapes and sizes suddenly appear around her, dancing together joyfully. And when I say "all shapes and sizes", I mean it; this is a fancy dress party with a difference.

This is the Fruit Ball!

Through crowds of twirling people dressed up as lemons and bananas, apples and cherries, hidden beneath masks of custard pie and swiss cheese (well you need holes for eyes, right?), Moogie notices him; Moon stands watching her whistfully, his arms by his sides... though really his arms are quite far apart, resting on his giant strawberry suit. His head is poking out of a hole at the top, while his feet struggle to keep the huge fruit balanced under the immense weight. He wears a large green hat above his red-painted face, completing the costume. He shuffles towards Moogie unsteadily, but with a calm, serious expression.

Moon, approaching slowly dispite the high speed shuffling of his feet- "Ok, I know I made a promise, but... I'd like that figure back now."

Moogie- "Oohhhh... oh right, I get it now, ya... hey, where did I throw that thing again?"

Moogie searches behind her and spots the little figure amidst the dancing feet of an enormous cherry. But before she can pick it up, the cherry accidentally kicks it across the floor. She hears a stifled cry behind her, and turns to see Moon disappearing through the crowd, arms and legs waving frantically as he rolls helplessly away. The dancing cherry turns to her.

Cherry- "Oh, sorry Moogs, didn't see ya there."

Moogie- "Who are you?"

Cherry- "I'm Lord Cherry Cherrington, at your service m'lady."

The giant strawberry rolls past and back into the midst of the crowd.

Moogie- "Seperot?? Erm... wow. Nice costume... I guess?"

Lord Cherry Cherrington, looking frightfully insulted- "Costume!? This is no costume! I am Lord Cherry Cherrington of the Cherry Elite! We will rule the world! Down with the Banana Samurais!!"

Before she can reply, the cherry spots a large, thin banana doing the tango nearby and waddles furiously over to him. Moogie looks on as he pounces on the unsuspecting fruit, and they begin rolling clumsily around on the floor, arms swinging wildly amidst cries of "Bananas suck!" and "Cherries must die!".

Meanwhile, the giant strawberry continues its collision course with everyone in the room as the little Moon figure skids around the dancefloor. Ignoring the rekindling Fruit Wars going on nearby, Moogie chases it through the crowds, always one step behind.

Moogie- "Darnit, come here! Hey you! Watch where you're dancing!"

She bumps clumsily into a prim looking woman dressed as a Lemon, adorned with citrous jewerly and a lemon-encrusted crown, who turns to her rather irritably. Moon yells a warning as he plows through an evergrowing group of warring cherries and bananas nearby.

Prim looking woman dressed as a Lemon- "Excuse me, girl. Who do you think you are? Telling me where to dance? Me, Princess Lemons, Arch Priestess of Lemonia and Empress of the Lemon Empire? You didn't even join in the Fruit Wars! Go away!!"

The little Moon-stuffed strawberry is sent flying underneath the buffet table with a swift kick. Moogie hears a rumbling growing quickly behind her, and stands up, eyes wide. She turns slowly to see the crowds parting either side of a giant red boulder bouncing uncontrollably towards her, its little legs and arms flailing in vain. Moon's expression is one of silent terror as he rolls across the floor towards her.

Like a scene from Indiana Jones, Moogie flees from Moon's giant strawberry suit through a crowd of oranges as they are helplessly knocked down like bowling pins. She dives under the table but meets a dead end- the glass of the snowglobe reflects the ominous image of its approaching doom.

Moogie jumps out of the way as Moon collides with the glass, shattering the globe. All the fruits are sucked out into the air and vanish, along with the shattered world, as Moogie lands amidst a mountain of screwed up bits of paper and old, torn documents. The squished fruit lands nearby, splattering on the ground and releasing the figure within. Moon, dressed as his normal self again, approaches and picks it up. Moogie looks around, confused.

Moogie- "Where am I? I don't remember..."



Formatting fixed at Moon's request. :flowers: --Santiago
« Last Edit: August 25, 2006, 05:10:44 pm by Santiago »

Pestilence

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« Reply #62 on: July 16, 2005, 06:24:16 pm »
hehehe :)

Not as mean as moon was but fun :)
« Last Edit: July 16, 2005, 06:24:56 pm by Pestilence »

Under the moon

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« Reply #63 on: July 16, 2005, 07:10:04 pm »
[[Yes, that was a little nicer than I expected. And nothing like what I expected either. :D ;) But damn funny. I had to stop reading at one point to catch my breath.

Ok, I know you all expected an update here, but I am having a little fight with my pc right now (he\'s winning) so I won\'t be able to add to this until I get a new OS and any other parts that died. Sorry for the holdup. :( ]]

derwoodly

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« Reply #64 on: July 17, 2005, 11:37:29 am »
Hey Moogie!  When you get your new computer and your dad gets your old one, send the one your dad is useing now to Moon, it has to be better than whatever vacuume tube powered device Moon is using now!

Darkblade

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« Reply #65 on: July 18, 2005, 01:43:02 am »
Hehe... I\'m starting to love this.

Which reminds me, I should continue to work on my story, before I get caught up in the parodiness of this parody of the parodies which is the uncle of the brother of the father of his cousin\'s former roomate.

Which comes to absolutely nothing.

(I was always waiting to use that one :) )
Crazy am I. Not responsable for crazyness that ensues.

nitro4ce

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« Reply #66 on: July 18, 2005, 04:34:02 pm »
Under the moon, how do you know all this about PlaneShift?
Are you a coder or something like that in the game?

Phinehas

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« Reply #67 on: July 18, 2005, 05:19:35 pm »
Quote
Originally posted by nitro4ce
Under the moon, how do you know all this about PlaneShift?
Are you a coder or something like that in the game?

What would give you that idea?

Monketh

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« Reply #68 on: July 19, 2005, 04:56:50 am »
Impressive.  I should like to appear more, naturally, but that may just be my narcissistic instincts appealing to me. :P
The key to manipulative bargaining is to ask for something twice as big as what you want, then smile and nod when you are talked down to your original wish. You are still young, my apprentice, and have much to learn in the ways of the force. -UtM

Phinehas

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« Reply #69 on: July 19, 2005, 05:30:04 am »
Quote
Originally posted by Monketh
Impressive.  I should like to appear more, naturally, but that may just be my narcissistic instincts appealing to me. :P

It is. I have the same feelings.

Under the moon

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scene seventeen
« Reply #70 on: July 20, 2005, 03:50:00 am »
[[Sorry for the delay, folks, but my pc is still down. This was written by hand then typed up on a borrowed box. I fear it is not my best work due to the irritated mood this week has put me in. (including being stung by a bee while on the top of a ladder holding something overhead I couldn?t put down).

And howdy Monketh. Long time. Perhaps I am not done with you and Phin or the Cyl yet. XD

On another note? ME?! A coder? You have to be kidding. That is the most oddistest thing I've heard and even had to make up a word to describe it. But coincidentally...]]


Scene Seventeen.
~Garbage in, garbage out~

Moon has that small half smile again, but touched with more than a little -that was really odd- expression on his face.

Moon- "I don't think I will ever forget that. Strawberry indeed. Well, Moogie, I must be going now. Have a nice trip."

Moogie- "Wait! I don't..."

Moon vanishes in a puff of smoke, as seems to be the chosen method of sudden transport so far. Overly dramatic and clich', yes, but effective. It also seems to irritate and frustrate Moogie to no end. In said irritation and frustration, Moogie kicks a pile of paper refuse, the paper being much obliged to fly off the tip of her foot with little or no complaint. That is not to say there is no complaint from any other source.

"Hey! Just what do you think you are doing?"

Moogie whirls to the source of the new and quite irate voice. Not only is the voice irate, but also is the male Enki who stands a little ways away brandishing an overly large blacksmith's hammer. More odd than the hammer, though, are the hundreds of post-it notes stuck randomly on his body and forming a long fluttering cape.

Moogie, startled, but not falling on her face, posterior, or any other protruding extremity- "That was tactfully written Mr. Whoever-you-are-writer."

Thank you... but you were supposed to have an amusing response to the Menki. Moogie looks confused.

Moogie- "Was I... I can't seem to remember. I'm not even sure why I'm here. And that odd... Menki was it? That odd Menki seem to have forgotten me."

Moogie having sharper eyes than I do pens (which this was written in, by the way. <- including that), points to the man with her paw. Indeed, the thin Menki does seem quite preoccupied, his multitudes of post-it notes fluttering in the wind as he stares at the open space before him, surrounded by enormous piles of crumpled papers. Who knows what thoughts could be passing behind those deep contemplating eyes... The fathomless depths of a great mind at work. The intricate...

The Menki, thoughtfully jotting something down on a post-it- "No, I simply cannot see how tacos could be used as substitute algorithms, no matter how much cheese you use."

Ok... maybe I carried away with those deep thinking remarks. Sue me. Moogie rolls her eyes and begins walking over to the man, perhaps in hopes of finally finding some sort of sane help in her quest.

Moogie- "What do you mean 'finally'?And 'quest'? Have you been doing this type of thing? *SQUEE* I have a tail! That is so weird. Was it always here?"

Moogie reaches out to snatch her wayward tail, only to have it wave out of reach.

Moogie- "Come here!"

She pounces at it, but again it eludes her, always being one step ahead. With a giggle, she rushes her tail, chasing in a circle. The circle becomes tighter and tighter in her frantic chase, until she stands rapidly spinning in place. Faster she twirls, akin to deranged ballerina on a three-day caffeine high, until her tail finally lands in her grasp. Victorious in her quest, Moogie brings her crazed twirling to a sudden stop, a huge triumphant grin on her face.

Moogie- "Gotcha!"

Now, what happens next I'm sure some of you are very well acquainted with... but that doesn't make it any less funny. But since I am in a somewhat humane mood today, I think we shall pass over the ensuing humiliation and rejoin the story in its aftermath. So, as we were?

Moogie tries to get to her feet again for what must be the tenth time. Well, we can't skip all of the humiliation, now can we? This time, to the accompanying sound of uproarious laughter, she finds the ground with her front paws. The ground, however, not being all that cooperative, tosses her on her side. Not that the ground has moved, you see, it just doesn't seem to wish to stay in one place in Moogie's vision. She glares at the swaying ground, which seems to mind glaring even less than the dark did earlier in the story.

Moogie- "Stop moving and let me stand up!"

The ground neither responds nor obeys, being that it has better things to do. On the other hand, the sound of laughter only increases. Moogie tries to glare at the Menki blacksmith covered in post-its, as he is the source of said laughter, but finds it too disturbing to watch the two of them crossing before her eyes.  Moogie growls.

Moogie- "JosePhoenix! Stop laughing and help me up."

JosePhoenix chuckles a few last times and... Wait a second. I never wrote who he was. How did you know his name? Moogie struggles into an awkward wavering semblance of crouch, her limbs spread wide.

Moogie- "He told me while you took your little interlude, you jerk. How else was I supposed to know, since you are being such a great help?"

I see.

JosePhoenix, no longer laughing and looking at Moogie warily- "Are you speaking to me? You did ask 'Just who do you think you are?' and I gave what I though my name was. Though in your confusion, I may have been mistaken. But maybe the answer has mistaken the question for a distant... no, that doesn't make sense. Oh! I know. You are the one mistaking the name given by me as your own to help with... wait, let me figure this out."

JosePhoenix pulls out a fresh post-it pad and begins scribbling furiously with a pencil shaped eraser. Moogie decides that it may be best to just sit for a while until up and down stop arguing over who is supposed to be on top.

Moogie- "So Mr. Wordy, are you going to tell me what is going on yet? I can't remember anything."

I am not sure why that is. I never... Oh, I see. You did this to yourself in the end of the last scene. I can't help you out of this one... even if I wanted to. You are just going to have to do this on your own. Moogie looks sadly at the ground, which has finally decided to stay in one place. Hold on, that is cheating. The white Fenki looks up with her big sad pink eyes, her ears drooping in the most depressing way. Crap. Pouting is so not playing fair. Moogie's bottom lip trembles. All right, all right, fine. One more favor. The guild is going to have my hide for this. You were looking for something important to you, and you only have three hours left to find it. There is a clue somewhere near you. If I tell you any more I will have to turn in my magic pens and quit the guild. Now you are on your own. Got it?

Moogie, grinning- "Works every time. Thanks Moon."

Why you little... Oh you are so going to get it in the next scene. Moogie shrugs and struggles to her feet, the dizziness not being an act. She frowns at the bits of paper scattered about.

Moogie- "Now I just have to remember what is was I am looking for. Hey, what is this?"

She reaches down and picks up a few pieces of paper. One has an ugly, winged, lizard-like creature with the words 'Klyros concept' written on it. Another appears to be random letters, numbers, and words. Both have 'trash' stamped in big red letters over them.

JosePhoenix- 'Give that here! You are not a coder!"

The Menki snags the paper with the 'code' on it, hugging it to his chest behind his overly large blacksmith hammer.

Moogie- 'What is a coder, Josephoenix?"

JosePhoenix, looking at her oddly- "JosePhoenix? I thought we decided to call me JP. That was the question to the answer you mistakenly requested. See?"

JP holds out the post-it he had been working on earlier as proof.

Moogie- "Ah... JP, that is blank."

JP- "Which proves NOTHING! They said it wouldn't work, but I'll prove them right, even if I am wrong."

JP begins scribbling more letters and symbols on the paper he took from Moogie. Moogie slowly backs away. Suddenly, JP sticks a post-it to the paper and tosses it forcefully the ground.

JP, raising the abnormally large hammer overhead and brining it down to smash the papers to pulp- "KAAAEEEEEEAAAAAAH! It'll work I tell you! Just give the code a chance!"

JP swings his hammer about himself, randomly crushing piles of old discarded code papers in his attempt to join them together.

JP- "They will compile! There is no stopping me!"

Moogie dives out of the path of one of his wider swings, apparently not wishing to be compiled. Her paw comes down on something. Without thinking, she picks it up and begins running. Soon, the incomprehensible hollers of JP fade away. Moogie stops, only to find herself still lost amongst the huge piles of trashed files. She looks down at what she picked up. It is the tiny figure of herself before all this started, red hair, brush, twig, and all.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2006, 05:22:50 pm by Under the moon »

Keyaz

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« Reply #71 on: July 20, 2005, 04:23:54 am »
oooOOOOoooh :D *claps*

...


can i have that little moogie figure when your done? xD

Leonor Mephidra

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« Reply #72 on: July 20, 2005, 07:53:42 am »
whahahahahaha, that is sooooooo funny.
You could get Tuvok to laugh with that!
Really, you\'re trully skilled at that.

Oh, is it too late for me to slap with the size 14 shoe?
I want in, please.

Greetz, Leo

josephoenix

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:D
« Reply #73 on: July 20, 2005, 03:23:20 pm »
Underthemoon... that was most excellent!

*steals the story and runs away*

And, ahem, just so it doesn\'t look like I\'m favoring the scene that includes myself.. the others were nifteh too.

Plus, I already told you all of this in IRC.. or did I? *blames a conspiracy of Drey and Tacos*

josePhoenix
Sir John Falstaff: "Let the skie raine Potatoes: let it thunder, to the tune of Greenesleeues"

Arkumin Delvrim

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« Reply #74 on: July 20, 2005, 03:55:49 pm »
UTM you really should write professionally. To make money. So you could buy a new computer. So I wouldn\'t have to wait so long for the next chapter! Argh! LOL
I\'m the Dwarf in the shortpants. No the other Dwarf in the shortpants!