Author Topic: Rosary  (Read 840 times)

Symlyst

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Rosary
« on: February 21, 2006, 10:21:07 pm »
It\'s short, I know, but there\'ll be more. Oh, and I\'d like to introduce myself *bows* I\'m am a newbie to PS, and must group myself with many who are waiting to make their first character. However, I have been reading these forums for the past two days and have found all the info I need on what the problem is, how long I will most likely have to wait, and much more, so I have no questions as of now. But, I wanted to contribute in some way, and felt that adding a short story may be one of them. It doesn\'t have a PS theme I\'m sorry to say, but that\'s understandable considering I have yet to play ^_^

Enjoy!

Tears made trails in the girl\'s dirt streaked face as she ran through the dark trees, her breath coming in short, terrified puffs. Her clothing was torn asunder from the branches that sliced at her delicate skin, and her bare feet had bleeding blisters. What she was heading for was just up ahead, and only her desperation kept her running at the speed she was.  
   
A light flashed through the trees, and she glanced around frantically, praying that he would not catch her before she got to her target.
   
Suddenly, the trees opened, and she saw what she had been aiming for. The tears came harder as she looked upon the abandoned temple. No one had been here in centuries, but she had known where it was located from the rumors in the village.
 
Stopping before she reached the clearing, she examined the sky, but saw nothing. She gathered up courage and strength, and then bolted out under the clear night sky, her heart drumming against her ribs.
 
Seventy, fifty, thirty feet until she would reach the front door, and then it appeared.
   
?Lana!?

She heard the mocking voice from above her head. Ten feet.

?That decrepit building won\'t save you, Lana!?

She heard giggling, and her hand was on the doorknob. Pain! It burst through her spine like a million daggers.

 ?Bingo!?

She looked back at the silver hover car flying above the temple. White teeth flashed in a terrifying grin above the rifle. Blood coursed down her legs as she stood, trying to overcome the paralyzing torture.
   
Finally, she threw open the door and ran down the rotting seats, falling to her knees before the  Holy Mary.

?Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death...? Lana fiercely whispered the prayer into the stale air of the church, closing her eyes and throwing all of her faith into the repeated words.
   
The pain in her back slowly faded away as well as the fatigue in her limbs. More tears than ever  rolled down her cheeks, but she could no longer hear the humming of the hover car outside. And when smoke started to fill the temple, and she heard the laughing crackle that indicated fire, she threw herself onto the shrine, yelling, ?Holy Mary! Mother of God! Pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our  DEATH!?
   
She fumbled at her pocket, pulling out the rosary that was the focus point of her troubles. Never would she let it fall into the hands of that maniac while she lived. The gem set into it felt silky hot under her fingers as she repeated the prayer at the top of her lungs.
   
Still, her eyes were closed, sweat covering her entire body. She coughed as smoke filled her lungs, but did not waver from her prayers. And when the flames licked her toes, she did not open her eyes, and instead bared the pain until her entire body was being scorched.
   
She collapsed, one hand holding the foot of the Holy Mary, and the other grasping the rosary. The pain lifted, and abruptly she felt cold, her last words ringing into other worlds.

?Pray...for...us...?
   
Far away, worlds apart from the poor girl; Lana, icy blue eyes opened out of a nightmare. The demon\'s hand reached for the sword by his bed, chanting the spell for teleportation.
 
And not so far away, in the same world, another girl froze in the middle of a chore, three words echoing through her head.

?Brother??
« Last Edit: February 21, 2006, 10:39:05 pm by Symlyst »
I don\'t know what your problem is, but I bet it\'s hard to pronounce.

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Houlen Aru

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« Reply #1 on: February 21, 2006, 10:30:53 pm »
You captured some decent emotions, but the style is an eyesore. For each line that has chat in it, you should skip two lines. Like this:

The boy walked into the room.

\"Hello?\" He said.

His mother stood there waiting behind the door, and jumped out.

\"Boo!\" She yelled, and laughed as the boy began to cry.

----------------------------

Something like that, just a random doodle I came up with. But, like I said, the writing style is less hard to read, the huge cluster of words can make people read the same line twice. Good story, though. :)

Symlyst

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« Reply #2 on: February 21, 2006, 10:36:08 pm »
ah thanks! That\'s a good suggestion...*proceeds to do just that*
I don\'t know what your problem is, but I bet it\'s hard to pronounce.

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Shooree

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« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2006, 12:51:02 am »
er.. I have yet to read your story, but I found your comment so striking that I could not bare not to post this instant. Welcome, friend. I sincerely hope you\'ll be having as much fun as you can possibly intake.

Bah, I\'m so sleepy.
>.>
<.<


Can I read this tommorow? :)

Symlyst

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« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2006, 02:54:27 am »
*laughs* well thank you ^_^ of course you can read it tomorrow, and I hope to have as much fun as I can possibly intake, I\'ve already made a character and have some questions though...*proceeds to search the forums*
I don\'t know what your problem is, but I bet it\'s hard to pronounce.

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Check out this link if you\'re a writer! http://writersontheverge.com/