Best Friend Syndrome

[nightstalian]

Have you ever been in it?

What is it?
-The best friend syndrome  is where you meet a pretty young girl who you love, and would do any thing for.
But she thinks of you as an older brother and her \"besttest Friend\" and every day you don\'t tell her you feel that you die a little each day you don\'t tell her.
Requirments
-1. Mostly you are a Geek/Nerd
-2. You have some sort of problem
-3.you love her deeply
-4.she thinks you as a brother and her best friend
-5. your afraid to tell her because you fear about your friendship

So why bring this up?

My Deliemna-
I told her and I don\'t know what will happen.

 

[zanzibar]

Some feelings are inconvenient.  The only solution is to push them into a dark place at the bottom of your stomach.  Then you push them down further, and then bury them with vodka.

Or not.

If your feelings for her are genuine, then telling her how you feel might be the best thing, no matter how it turns out.  Maybe the relationship will be weird for a while.  If she says no, then you have to respect that.  And if you care about her, then you will.  Real friendships should survive things like that, and even if it doesn\'t.... the friendships we have when we\'re young aren\'t the same ones we\'ll have when we\'re older.  Even if the friendship is completley ruined, maybe you\'ll pick things up again ten years from now.

And hey, maybe she\'ll give you a shot.


Oh, and *spy cough* obligatory emo reference *spy cough*.

[nightstalian]

thanks

[Pale]

I know of what you speak.

It takes enormous courage to tell someone that you care for them, but I\'ve found that being honest is best in the long run. It helps with the agony of the internal hypotheses of \"if... then... well.... maybe... but....\"

Good luck.

[Celebrimor]

Yup, I went through that when I was younger too. Didn\'t work though, she had a boyfriend. If it helps in any way, she\'s one of my best friends atm. Every case is unique though, so who knows, it could work for you, but what I\'m trying to say is, don\'t loose it if it doesn\'t, try to keep things calm, and the friendship alive. Also, think of this, what if you two end up together and then in a couple of years break up, when it could happen that you keep your friendship now, and later on you end  up together. I think it was John Lennon who said \"Life is what happens to you while youre busy making other plans\" or something like that, so whatever happens will hapen.

[davo]

yea i know how that feals.

It really ticks me off too lol.

but, i have a best friend from that and i love her as a friend,and i dont have a crush on her anymore (that would be weird).

anyways good luck.

Edited for language.

[Keyaz]

Originally posted by nightstalian
Have you ever been in it?

What is it?
-The best friend syndrome  is where you meet a pretty young girl who you love, and would do any thing for.
But she thinks of you as an older brother and her \"besttest Friend\" and every day you don\'t tell her you feel that you die a little each day you don\'t tell her.
Requirments
-1. Mostly you are a Geek/Nerd
-2. You have some sort of problem
-3.you love her deeply
-4.she thinks you as a brother and her best friend
-5. your afraid to tell her because you fear about your friendship

So why bring this up?

My Deliemna-
I told her and I don\'t know what will happen.

 

so simply described, yet the feeling is so complicated, isn\'t it?

I do hope it works for you, as it did me, I had luck I beleive, I pass it on to you

[Houlen Aru]

Originally posted by nightstalian
Have you ever been in it?

What is it?
-The best friend syndrome  is where you meet a pretty young girl who you love, and would do any thing for.
But she thinks of you as an older brother and her \"besttest Friend\" and every day you don\'t tell her you feel that you die a little each day you don\'t tell her.
Requirments
-1. Mostly you are a Geek/Nerd
-2. You have some sort of problem
-3.you love her deeply
-4.she thinks you as a brother and her best friend
-5. your afraid to tell her because you fear about your friendship

So why bring this up?

My Deliemna-
I told her and I don\'t know what will happen.

 

That\'s what happens to me. I have numbers three, four and five, mainly because if I tell her, she\'ll laugh, I\'ll be embarrassed, everyone will know, and not only risk losing her friendship, but many others as well, viewed as some kind of idiot. So, I just enjoy what I get.

[Pale]

I was in the same situation many moons ago (lost waaaay back in the depths of time). After a month of biting my lip every time I almost asked, I asked, and it lasted two years. Every since then I\'ve decided to just go for it, and see what happens.

?Once more into the breach, dear friends, once more;  
Or close the wall up with our English dead!    
In peace there?s nothing so becomes a man    
As modest stillness and humility:  
But when the blast of war blows in our ears,  
Then imitate the action of the tiger;  
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,  
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour?d rage;  
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect.?

I love shakespeare!

[Zaxim]

nightstalian I was afflicted with every single one of those requirements.  She told me more than once I was a brother to her.  Regardless, the point of the matter is.  I confessed how I felt about her, she didn\'t feel that way.  Almost five years down the line, she still doesn\'t feel that way about me, and I\'ve given up on it, although we are good friends.

The point is, I\'ve seen it happen to other people as well.  And usually best friend syndrome doesn\'t go away, and when it does it\'s for a fleeting moment when he/she is depressed about something and need someone.

It\'s a good thing you went for it, because you\'ll never know how she feels otherwise.  But a no will probably stay a no forever, and you\'ll have to move on.

Good luck.

[derwoodly]

Originally posted by zanzibar
Some feelings are inconvenient.  The only solution is to push them into a dark place at the bottom of your stomach.  Then you push them down further, and then bury them with vodka.

Good to have a back-up plan, if the tell her the truth does not work.
 
Personal preference would be Scotch (Johny Walker) instead of Vodka.

[zanzibar]

Scotch, whiskey, tequilla, brandy, cognac, and a variety of other things burn my stomach.  I can\'t drink them.  Vodka and stouts I\'m fine with however.  Red wine too, but it feels tacky to get drunk from it, and the hangover is nasty.


That\'s the thing with Shakespeare and other classics; they\'re universal.  These are things that happen time and time again to different people in different walks of life across history.  You\'re not alone in this.

[lanser]

I have been fortunate enough to have this happen to me both ways and will always be grateful for the courage that made both of us speak out.

The then youg lady who confessed her feelings for me has gone on to be one of my oldest and dearest friends for over 20 years.
I would like to think that the reverse situation will last as long but there is always that lingering hope that she\'ll change her mind.

As for climbing into the vodka bottle I\'ve always looked on that as the last refuge for the weak :/

[Cyl]

A lot of J?germeister does the job to.

I know very well about what you talk.

\"Look at him, isnt he sooo cute, ..., oh come, hook me off with him.\"

Well not that extreme, but nearly. Anyways, I am falling through #3 of your rules.

[zanzibar]

Originally posted by lanser
As for climbing into the vodka bottle I\'ve always looked on that as the last refuge for the weak :/

Weak is one word for it.  I try to be less judgemental.  \"Disempowered\" perhaps.