Kinda a long one....
When archaeologist Radiant Memphis joined the guild of "Lets dig stuff up" to dig in the Bronze Door region last year, he did so to participate in the excavation of a Late Bronze Age settlement rich in pottery shards and clay figurines. Radiant had hoped to determine whether the items contained within the site were primarily Kran or Stonebreaker in origin.
Instead, he found himself fleeing giant flying demon-cats as he ran through the temple's cavernous halls, jumping from ledge to ledge while locked in a desperate struggle for his life and soul for what seemed like the thousandth time in his 27-year career.
"All I wanted to do was study the settlement's remarkably well-preserved kiln," said Memphis, carefully recoiling the rope he had just used to clamber out of a pit filled with giant rats. "I didn't want to be chased by yet another accursed manifestation of an ancient god-king's wrath."
Over the course of his career, Memphis has been frequently lauded by colleagues for his thorough, methodical examinations of ancient peoples being one himself. He has also been chased by the ulber-bodied Hydalain women of the rune area in wilderness, hunted down by Enki cat specters manifested out of lost time and shadow in the Ojavada area, and hounded by the pebble-sky-filling small stone Woman of the early Kran .
"It's true, I've got to stop reading the inscriptions on ancient door seals out loud," Memphis said. "I also need to quit dusting off medallions set into strange sarcophagi, allowing the light to hit them for the first time in centuries. And replacing the jewels that have fallen from the foreheads of ancient crystal-deity statues—that's just bad archaeological practice."
"I realize I'm entering grounds that are considered sacred to these people," Memphis said. "But that doesn't mean I deserve to be pelted with poison-tipped darts shot from cavern walls. A simple 'Do Not Enter' sign would suffice, or beware poison-tipped darts shot from cavern walls."
Turning to the subject of his latest incident at a dig site in the Death Realm, Memphis maintains he was not at fault for summoning the forces of evil.
"I was just idly rearranging flint sickle blades that had already been catalogued. Apparently, I spelled out the true name of a long-dead god-priest," Memphis said. "Can't an elf even clean up his work area without inadvertently conjuring up a pack of lightning-breathing Ulbers?"
Making matters worse, such encounters have had little to no scientific value.
"It's always, 'I will drink your soul' or 'I will chew the flesh from your bones' with these hellish apparitions," Memphis said. "When I ask them if that means the ancient Hyadalains did, in fact, add gold to their mixing clay to make their urns more sturdy, they don't even seem to hear me."
This has been an adaptation to fit into PS thank you and goodnight.
