Geographic Convenience, and such.

[Raiyx]

So, for quite some time, I've been very curious as to how people can be so sure that they have "the best of friends" or have found the single person that "completes them".  Soul mates that are meant to be, undying friendships, love and the like.  My biggest question with this is:  How? 

Over the course of my life, I've observed that most stable and functioning relationships exist between people who live close enough to each other so that daily contact is possible.  With that in mind, it seems like the only people you can affix such intimate titles to are people in your area code (basically).  I'm aware that there are some long distance relationships.  But from a pragmatic approach, I argue that successful long distance relationships are few and far between.

With that said, how can you be so determined that someone who lives relatively close to you have such an innate, irrefutable connection with you?  Surely there are people who better suit you 10, 20, 500, or thousands of miles away.  Think about it this way:  There are billions of people in the world.  Billions.  What makes one more special than the other?  The fact that they stand out of a group of 50?  What if you found someone 5k miles away that stood out in a crowd of 6 billion people? Yeah, Yeah, impossible.  But isn't this the foundations of such life defining practices of marriage, and the main idea of having a best friend?  I think so.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking on having friends or the more intimate connections between humans; they are extremely essential for life itself.  I simply want to analyze how we can feel so comfortable with limiting ourselves to a relatively small area.

I guess this is why I enjoy the wonders of Al Gore's "invention":  The Internet. 
I love the fact that you can connect to people with similar intrests in a personal way, quickly and efficeintly.  Creepy outcomes?  Sometimes.  Lack of accuracy with communication?  Probably.  Unnatural?  Wonderfully so.

And while the world becomes a smaller and smaller place, I guess the issue of Geographic Convenience starts to become insignificant.  But for the time being,  I continue to ponder about all this.  It's truely mind boggling.

Thoughts?
(Side note: the smiley looks like a reporter to me)

[Karyuu]

Interesting subject

Even though the internet is not meant to be a substitute for real life, its effects are very far-reaching. Online relationships have a much better chance than relationships sustained by traditional letters or yearly visits alone. However, real-life relationships are obviously infinitely better. We're very social animals not only when it comes to communication, but physical contact as well. And sometimes the longing to touch someone you can talk to from hundreds or thousands of miles away can be very overwhelming.

I think once you have found someone who makes you happy, truly happy, the search ends - and for a good reason. If you spend your entire life looking for the greener grass, you'll die with a very barren lawn. Have you found someone who completes your own jigsaw pieces? That's great! Keep them. If there is another person out there in the vast world who may fit you better, why wonder about it, or spend years of your life in a concentrated search while you ignore what already works for you? Seems a rather tragic way to spend your time :] Not that such idle thoughts are bad in and of themselves - I simply think that if you find yourself asking regularly "Is there someone better for me?" you haven't found someone who makes you happy.

The internet is awesome when it comes to exposing you to all sorts of people, with similar interests and some that are quite different. It's very much a learning tool - you discover yourself through the people you find yourself attracted to. And I like that about it :]

[Raiyx]

Haha, hopefully I didn't come off as claiming that the internet is an alternative to real life... 

I definately agree that always reflecting on this question will lead to no avail, because ultimately, you can become closed off to nearly everyone.

[Gluonite]

Ya, it does seem like a big world out there doesn't it? 6 billion going on 7 is a bit overwhelming. But I like to look at it this way:

(Based on certain assumptions, these admittedly very rough stats are different if you don't happen to conform to this)

Only 84% of the 6 billion are unmarried, leaves 5,040,000,000
Only 50% of those are of the opposite sex, leaves 2,520,000,000.
Only 90% of those are straight, that leaves 2,268,000,000.
Only 73% of those have reached puberty (over 14 years), leaves 1,655,640,000.
Only 4.8% of those speak english, that leaves 79,470,720.

Of course there are many other narrowing factors, for instance, if you are gay or lesbian, the stats might look more like 8,830,080.

Another big one would be knocking out those who are currently incarcerated, or otherwise institutionalized. Soon you see that the possibilities are not as overwhelming as it seemed. When you knock the elderly population out of the mix, things start to look truly promising.

In the end though, you will just know.

Best of luck.

[Phinehas]

Actually, this is an interesting topic. The only thing I wanted to input is that, having lived in several different countries, I now never feel comfortable limiting myself to a single area. On the other hand, close friends and stability are basic human needs. I want nothing more than to have a "home" that I know I'll be in for at least five years. At the same time, having travelled, I appreciate the Internet because it keeps me from feeling claustrophobic. I think that's one of the reasons I prefer living in the city. I also have the feeling that I went off topic somewhere along the line there...

[Eagel]

Really interesting topic...
Personally, my girlfriend born 300 kilometers away from me... now we live together, and I must to say that we meet in Internet... 300km isn't too long distance, about 2:30 hours in car... so its near anyway.

But why we search for our soulmate so close?
Because something called "social environment"...

There are many factors that 'limits' our chances:
- language
- distance
- social status (to be rich, pour, etc.)
- tastes or preferences
- and many many more you can imagine...

It's proved that two persons in the same country have different 'cultures' or 'folklore'.
An example: A person from Texas and another from NY...
They speaks the same language, but in different way, with different expressions, and different accents...
They could understand each other, but some habits could be disgusting for the other...
do you get me? (It's difficult to me to express this... I can't get the right words... )

My point is that you can meet your soulmate around the world, but you have more chances near your home because sharing same environment.

Edited:: Thank you Garile for that point about distance/velocity!! hahaha

[miadon]

sad as it is, my entire social life is basically on the net :|. I find it much easier to communicate this way than in real life.

[Raiyx]

Actually, this is an interesting topic. The only thing I wanted to input is that, having lived in several different countries, I now never feel comfortable limiting myself to a single area. On the other hand, close friends and stability are basic human needs. I want nothing more than to have a "home" that I know I'll be in for at least five years. At the same time, having travelled, I appreciate the Internet because it keeps me from feeling claustrophobic. I think that's one of the reasons I prefer living in the city. I also have the feeling that I went off topic somewhere along the line there...

Actually, I was wondering... how did you like living in those different countries?  I mean, after living in such different places, do you now know what kind of people you relate better with?  Do your old friendships become more important than before?  That'd be really interesting to know.

Ya, it does seem like a big world out there doesn't it? 6 billion going on 7 is a bit overwhelming. But I like to look at it this way:

(Based on certain assumptions, these admittedly very rough stats are different if you don't happen to conform to this)

Only 84% of the 6 billion are unmarried, leaves 5,040,000,000
Only 50% of those are of the opposite sex, leaves 2,520,000,000.
Only 90% of those are straight, that leaves 2,268,000,000.
Only 73% of those have reached puberty (over 14 years), leaves 1,655,640,000.
Only 4.8% of those speak english, that leaves 79,470,720.

Of course there are many other narrowing factors, for instance, if you are gay or lesbian, the stats might look more like 8,830,080.

Another big one would be knocking out those who are currently incarcerated, or otherwise institutionalized. Soon you see that the possibilities are not as overwhelming as it seemed. When you knock the elderly population out of the mix, things start to look truly promising.

In the end though, you will just know.

Best of luck.

And I'm going to need it 

Haha, and as of late, I've become really picky about people I define as friends or see in a romantic sort of way.  Those stats are really big factors in determining who best suits you.  But all in all, I feel that the people we percieve as complents to our personality are just the most compatible within a five mile radius.  Is it merely because of societal constructs that we refuse are unable to look any further for these people?

Will I?  uh...er...um... 

[LARAGORN]

There are many things people can concentrate on and analyze when it comes to finding that perfect someone, but that only makes things difficult. I have always been a believer of LOA (Law of Attraction), simply put LOA means whatever you put out, you recieve. If you are negative all the time, you will attracted negative people and situations. If you are possitive, you will attract possitive people and situations. This applies to every area of our lives, our work, school, friends and our spouces. If you believe you will only find your true love within 5 miles of your home, you will subconsiously limit yourself to that area, not even giving others outside this area a chance.

We will always find a close connection to those who precieve us the way we precieve ourselves, even when we are unaware that we think that way about ourselves. This works for both good and bad self image, and it saddens me when I see men or women who repeatedly find themselves in abusive relationships. Untill we change the way we think about ourselves we will continue to attract the same type of people over and over, and not understand why.

We each create our own destiny and the sooner we relise that, the better off we will be.

* LARAGORN shuts up and sits down

[Kalika]

i say what feels right is right. if youre with someone and you feel that it is right to be with them, than nothing else matters. mabybe im jsut a romantic.

i dont think physical location should matter. but for me personally it does. im a physical perosn and i need the closeness of having them there.

i beleive in soulmates but i dont think everyone finds them. to me soulmate is too generalized, i liek to thik of the soulmate as someone who completes you. yin and yang, and sometimes your soulmate turns out to be a friend or sibling or whatever and so therefore you cant always "be with" you soumate. practice makes perfect you knows? when your soul is ready you will find that person. i dont liek to over analyze things and im not sure im thinking clearly right now so *hugs to everyone*